by Mary Hooper
I swallowed hard. ‘Yes. See you.’
I took a deep breath to steady myself. There was no doubt about it. It didn’t matter what Astra’s stupid stars said, or how many quizzes she came top of, or what sign anyone was.
He was mine.
Chapter Nine
Wednesday, 26th October
ASTRA
‘Hi!’ I called. It was dinner-time and I’d just spotted Ben leaning up against the school wall, all on his own.
I went over to him, combing up my hair with my fingers as I went, trying to put a bit of bounce in it so that it looked fluffier, more like Chelsea’s, and didn’t just hang on the sides of my face like curtains.
I was really pleased to see Ben that morning because he hadn’t been around for the past two days. Although one part of me said that he was an important person in my life and he couldn’t have just gone out of it, another part was terrified that he had. I knew Chelsea was worried about where he was, too, but neither of us said anything. I think we were both trying to pretend that we knew something the other one didn’t.
The funny thing was, in our paper that morning my horoscope had said, Watch out for the conjunction of the moon with Aries. This means you’ll be able to press home your advantage; your dearest wish could come true!
So … Ben on his own. Just what I’d been hoping for – especially as I knew that Chelsea had a dentist’s appointment and wasn’t going to be at school until the first class in the afternoon.
I’d spent yesterday evening going through my copy of Love Signs in Astrology just to reassure myself that Ben and I were alike and compatible as far as the planets were concerned. My book said (amongst other things) that ‘two Geminis together are a marvellous combination, each understanding the other’s dreams, desires and ambitions.’
Seeing this, I’d immediately copied the lines on to a piece of parchment in gold lettering, and decorated it with hearts and rainbows. I’d pinned it up over my bed and was going to look at it every night before I went to sleep.
Ben and I, two Geminis together, a marvellous combination. It sounded pretty good to me …
I beamed at Ben. ‘So where have you been for the last couple of days?’
He shrugged. ‘I just couldn’t be bothered to come in. Monday it was mostly Maths and Tuesday was stupid Woodwork in the morning with that Personal Development rubbish in the afternoon. Not my thing at all.’
He went on. ‘I mean, last Tuesday we had that woman talking about us being programmed by our backgrounds into behaving as we do.’
‘Is that what she said?’ I didn’t like to say that I could hardly remember, that I’d spent the whole of the lesson staring at the back of his neck and the way his hair grew.
‘Behaving as if we’ve been programmed!’ he repeated. ‘Stupid! I don’t think that. I think anyone can be anything he wants to be, don’t you?’
I nodded. He stumped me sometimes with his thoughts and his ideas, but I nodded anyway. ‘I guess so,’ I said.
‘Yeah, anyone can be anything he wants to be,’ he repeated.
I struggled to get on to easier ground. It wasn’t often that I got him on his own and I wanted to make full use of it. ‘Tell me more about you,’ I said. ‘Your gran sounds amazing. Was she born psychic or did she sort of develop the gift?’
‘Er …’ He seemed unsure. ‘Born psychic, I suppose. Although she didn’t realise she was, until she started doing the tarot.’
‘Fantastic!’ I breathed. ‘I’ve got a set of tarot cards – I’m trying to learn how to use them. You have to be really careful with them, you know. You even have to put them back in their box in a certain way.’
‘Yeah, I know that,’ he said.
‘Oh, sorry!’ I said. ‘Of course you’d know. Have you tried reading them yourself?’
‘Just a bit,’ he said. ‘My gran’s already told me I’ve got latent psychic gifts. I won’t really develop them until later, though, apparently. Until I meet the someone who’ll become really important in my life.’
‘Who will that be?’ I asked. ‘You mean, like a teacher or a guru?’
He hesitated and smiled down at me, and though there were people all around us I felt we were completely alone.
‘Maybe,’ he said, and he leaned nearer and kissed me on the forehead. ‘Or maybe just when I meet someone.’
My throat went all dry so that I couldn’t even swallow. He meant me.
He looked down at me. ‘Look, Astra, we’re good friends, right. More than friends. And this is our secret, isn’t it?’
‘Of course,’ I said hoarsely. I felt tingly all over. Where he’d kissed me, it burned.
‘And you won’t say a word to anyone else about me being psychic, will you?’
‘Of course not!’ I said.
‘I mean, you know what blokes are like – if the wrong person finds out they’ll just have a field day. I’ll be down as the loony with the mad gran.’
‘I think she sounds fascinating,’ I said. ‘I’d give anything to have someone psychic in my family.’
‘Well, maybe you’ll get to meet her some day. I’ll ask her to read your tarot.’
‘That’d be great!’
‘We live in a pretty strange situation, actually. You’ll have to make allowances …’
‘What d’you mean?’
‘Well, my gran’s a full-blooded gypsy. Lives in a caravan – one of those proper Romany ones, you know?’
‘How fantastic!’ I said. ‘I’d love to live like that. She travels about, does she? And that’s why you got to school late in the term and everything.’ And why you’re so secretive about where you live, I thought to myself.
The bell went and we started to walk across towards school. He opened the door and we went in and along the corridor to our lockers.
I felt blissful – so glad that Chelsea was at the dentist!
I put a few books in my locker and then stood by Ben’s while he sorted some things out. He handed me a plastic bag and asked me to hold it whilst he dropped a few school books in.
He then stood a couple of text books on the top of the locker and turned to speak to a boy called Luke, who was standing on the other side of him. While he was speaking I happened to glance at the text books – and saw what looked like one of my notelets sticking out of the pages.
I looked closer – yes, it was definitely one of mine. I’d decorated six for Chelsea; they’d been part of her birthday present. She must have sent one to Ben!
I froze, desperate to see what she’d written, and before I could think twice about what I was doing I’d reached up to the top of the locker, picked up the text books and dropped them into the plastic bag I was holding. As I did so I murmured, ‘I’ll put these in here, shall I?’
Ben was still speaking to Luke and didn’t reply. Very carefully, very casually, I then put my hand into the bag, located the book, pulled out the card and slipped it into my jacket pocket.
My heart started pounding so fast that I could actually hear the beats. I don’t know whether this was because I’d never done anything so awful before, or because I was just so anxious to see what she’d written. Both, I suppose.
Part of me said, How could you? and part said, Quickly, find out! Why had she written to him? What secrets did they have between them that I didn’t know about?
Ben turned away from Luke and shut his locker with a bang, making me jump. We began to walk towards the swing-doors when suddenly he just turned to me and said, right out of the blue, ‘Will you be in town on Saturday morning? D’you want to meet me?’
I stared at him. What did he mean? A proper date?
‘Well … um …’ I stuttered, not knowing what to say. Normally I would have agreed like a shot, but a couple of days before I’d arranged to go into town with Chelsea – we were supposed to be buying something to wear to Sarah’s party next week. We hadn’t seen each other for a couple of Saturdays so in a way I’d been quite anxious to go with her, to try and be normal
and best-friendly again.
I opened and shut my mouth. I didn’t want to tell him that I was meeting Chelsea in case he said that she could come along too. But on the other hand I wasn’t going to turn him down flat – especially for someone who hardly had two words to say to me these days. And someone who was writing secret notes to Ben.
‘If you’ve already got something arranged …’
‘No, that’d be great!’ I blustered. ‘What time and everything? Shall I come round for you?’ As I said this I was thinking that I’d love to see the caravan and his granny and she might read my tarot cards. She might look into the future and say to Ben, ‘This is the girl who is going to be the most important person in your life …’
Ben shook his head. ‘I’ve got a few things to do first, so it’d be easier to see you in town. How about meeting in the square about eleven?’
‘Right!’ I said eagerly. ‘Great!’
I know the books say you’re supposed to play it cool and everything, but I couldn’t be like that. Ben had kissed me and asked me out and I felt I could have burst with happiness. Your dearest wish could come true today …
But at the same time that card of Chelsea’s felt as if it was burning a hole in my pocket. I was desperate to read it.
We made our way to the art room: we had Art for a double period, then a group of us were going swimming. Chelsea hadn’t yet appeared, so I dumped my stuff on the side and then tore down the corridor and into the loo.
My hands were shaking as I locked the door behind me and looked at the card. There were only a few words:
For Ben: This is our secret! All my love, Chelsea.
I stared down at the card. This is our secret, I repeated to myself. What was? ‘This is our secret’ – as if something else had been enclosed. What, though? A book? A newspaper cutting? A photograph of herself? How could I find out? I stared at it for ages, biting my lip and wondering.
In the end, not knowing what else to do with it, I tore the card up into tiny pieces and flushed them down the loo. I didn’t need to keep it, I’d always remember what it said.
When I went back into class someone told me that Ben had gone off with a group who were supposed to be doing architectural sketches of the outside of the school building. Chelsea was in there, though, sitting on a side bench, swinging her legs. And from the secret smile on her face I guessed she’d just been speaking to him.
I went over and spoke to her but she was really horrible to me. Quite nasty. So in the end I just found something else to do and didn’t work with her.
I wasn’t going to worry about her any more. And I wasn’t even going to worry about what the card meant. It was me who had the date with him, not her.
Saturday. I couldn’t wait …
Chapter Ten
Wednesday, 26th October
CHELSEA
Ben was away from school two days this week, and I must admit I was worried. I didn’t think he’d just skipped with my money – of course not – I just wondered if maybe his dad had suddenly demanded that he go to this boarding school and hauled him off. Or maybe his dad had started filming in some fancy part of the world and wanted his family to go along with him.
I didn’t tell Astra any of my thoughts. I wasn’t going to break my word and tell her what Ben had told me about his family and about his dad being famous. Besides, Astra’s being such a wimp lately. I’ve not known her really fancy a boy before and I can’t say it suits her; she’s turned into a right drip, going red at the sight of him and fawning over him. Makes me sick, it does really.
Having Ben around has really changed things between the two of us. I mean, just a month or so back we were as close as anything, sharing every tiny thing we ever thought about. If we had a big event coming up – like Sarah’s party next week – we’d have talked of nothing else but that, what we were going to wear to it and who was going to be there. This time, though, we’d hardly mentioned it, apart from arranging to go shopping on Saturday for something to wear. Even that was a rather half-hearted arrangement, made more because we always used to go shopping on a Saturday rather than because we want to now.
I didn’t get to school until dinner-time today because I had to go to the dentist, so I spent most of the morning at home reading The Face in the Mirror ready for the first read-through after school.
Going to the dentist was a rat, but when I got to the art room for the afternoon’s first lesson, still feeling a bit funny after having two injections, the first person I saw was Ben.
My heart skipped a beat – it really did. He glanced up and saw me, and came straight over.
‘Didn’t see you at dinner-time,’ he said.
‘Didn’t see you yesterday. Or Monday!’ I retorted.
He grinned at me. ‘Couldn’t be bothered,’ he said. ‘Besides, my dad wanted me to go to some studios with him. He was discussing a part in a TV series and …’
I gasped. ‘Really?! Did you see anyone famous?’
‘No one that interesting,’ he said. ‘That redheaded girl – you know, that Soap star – was wandering about in the canteen. Don’t know if you’d call her famous.’
‘Wow!’ I said.
He lowered his voice, because Sarah and a couple of the others were nearby. ‘It’s no big deal,’ he said. ‘I mean, when you see them close up, they’re just like anyone else.’
‘I know they are really, but …’ OK, I knew they were just ordinary people, but as far as I was concerned they were also stars. Just like in Hollywood, only on a smaller scale. They opened supermarkets and appeared at night clubs, they went to film prèmieres, got sacks of fan mail and everyone loved them. They were stars…
‘Your dad must be really well in with everyone,’ I said. ‘I bet he knows everything there is to know about acting, doesn’t he? Bet he’d be able to give me a few pointers.’
‘I bet he would,’ Ben said. ‘And maybe you’ll meet him one day.’
I was just going to follow this up by asking when, when Mr O’Neill, the Art bod, came in and, after a bit of chat, picked Ben and a handful of others to go outside and sketch features of the school.
‘Hard luck,’ I said to Ben. ‘It looks like rain.’
He picked up some cartridge paper and a board. ‘That’s OK,’ he said. ‘As a matter of fact I’m quite pleased to get out of here. Your mate Astra is getting just a bit …’ And he pulled a funny face.
‘Just a bit what?’ I asked eagerly, for I could tell that whatever it was, he didn’t like it.
‘Oh, you know – a bit clingy,’ he said. ‘She was hanging around at dinner-time and I couldn’t seem to shake her off.’
‘Do you want me to have a word with her?’ I asked eagerly. Back off, he’s mine …
He shook his head. ‘No, that’s OK. I can handle it. See you later, maybe? Walk home after school?’
‘Yeah, sure,’ I said eagerly, and then I remembered. ‘Oh, there’s the play reading. I forgot. But I could easily skip it, I mean, I …’
He looked at me in surprise. ‘But you wouldn’t want to do that, would you? I thought you were dead keen on this acting lark. You’ll never get to be famous unless you work at it!’
‘Yeah, I know that, but …’ But I’d chuck it all in for a chance to walk home with him – especially when he’d just talked about Astra coming on too strong.
‘See you around, then,’ he said, and he touched my shoulder, smiled and went off.
No more than a minute after, while I was still staring after him and thinking that he was just incredible, special, the best thing to hit the school since sliced bread, Astra walked in, looking flustered.
She came over and asked me if I’d seen Ben – if we’d spoken to each other at all.
I nodded. ‘Oh yes. We had quite a chat.’
If the situation had been different, if it had been another boy who’d told me that Astra was getting clingy, I’d have said something to her. Nothing nasty, just dropped a hint to tell her to wise up a bit. With
our situation, though, I wasn’t going to. I wanted her to be as clingy as possible, as silly and drippy as she liked. I wanted him to go right off her, to find her a drag.
‘A chat,’ she repeated. ‘What about?’
‘Oh, this and that,’ I said. ‘I can’t remember. What did you chat to him about?’
‘What d’you mean?’
‘Well, you’ve had more time alone with him than I have. You were with him all dinner-time from what I’ve heard.’
‘Who told you that?’ she said, going red. Then she said. ‘Why are you being so horrible to me?’
‘I’m not!’ I said. ‘I’ve just had two really grim injections, three fillings and my mouth feels like hell, so excuse me if I’m not exactly a laugh a minute.’ As I spoke, I realised that I hadn’t even thought about the dentist from the second I’d seen Ben. Still, she wasn’t to know that.
Still red, she bit her lip and looked away. Then, although the two of us were supposed to be working on a project about print-making, she found something else to do, something with Mr O’Neill.
And we didn’t talk to each other for the rest of the day.
After Art we were due to have a free period back in our tutor room, but then Konnie came in she said that instead of it being free, two local social workers were coming in to talk to us.
‘About what?’ one of the boys asked.
‘Oh, this and that,’ she said. ‘Things which concern young people today: homelessness and staying on the right side of the law, things like that.’
‘Drugs, sex and rock and roll?’ someone else asked.
‘Probably,’ Konnie said.
She went out and while we were sitting there waiting for the social workers, Ben picked up his books and sauntered towards the door.
‘You going out?’ I asked him.
‘I’m going home.’
‘Why?’ I asked in surprise, while Astra just sat there gawping. ‘The social workers will be a doddle. We won’t have to do anything except sit there and listen.’
‘Social workers and me don’t mix,’ he said, and he just raised a hand and disappeared.
