“I was asking how you were going to explain this absurd phenomenon.”
“S-someone painted them on as a prank. Look, it’s so obvious on that red arrow.”
“That arrow looks black to me.”
“Then you must be crazy.”
“That I cannot accept! Do not lower your estimation of me to explain this realistically!!”
“I don’t believe in it, so this doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter which arrow I follow. It’s just a coincidence if I happen to follow the pink love comedy arrow!!” shouted Anzai as he ran full speed down the hallway.
But the next oddity was waiting for him not even 15 seconds later.
Rounded, goat-like horns.
Thin, bat-like wings.
A pointed, arrow-like tail.
A little girl with all those things and wearing a leather outfit cut across the hallway.
“Wh-what the heeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!???”
He had seen her before.
She had been in the short film about the hero and the demon king.
But because of what that would mean, the logical part of Anzai’s mind rejected it completely.
This was not a computer virus or a brain implant. It was pure fantasy. A different sort of feeling of rejection assaulted him.
“What now?” asked Kozue. At some point, she had become the questioner. “How will you describe the absurd phenomenon you see before your very eyes?”
“A theatre club?”
“I see you are keeping things nice and safe. But how did they make the wings move so much like a real living creature’s?”
“Ehh? W-was it really all that realistic? I thought it looked like styrofoam…heh…eh heh heh…”
“Now you are altering your memories because there is no footage to prove you wrong!?”
After that, they ran across a carnivorous plant so large it could likely swallow a human whole, a kunoichi with SF technology, a jealous Japanese goddess, a stubborn sushi chef, and other absurdities. However, Anzai would not accept them. He refused to accept them. With that desperate mindset, Anzai found a way to realistically explain away each and every one of them. He was afraid of accepting even one of them because he felt he would be dragged into some fantastical alternate world if he did.
In exasperation, Kozue said, “I think it is unfair to explain any of them away with ‘special makeup’. You have used that explanation for most of them.”
“If only it was video footage, then I could claim it was CG. Seeing it in person is a pain in the ass.”
“You may be able to get by each individual one like this, but can you explain how it all fits together. Why would the theatre club be dressed up in special makeup and acting en masse to trick you?”
“Uuh…!? U-um…”
“If you cannot explain that, then your theories lose some credibility. Hee hee. And then you will have to believe me about the fairy I saw. Hee hee.”
“M-maybe this is all part of that professor’s plan and this is part of a continuing psychological experiment centered around that survey.”
“Oh?”
“Or maybe this kind of thing happens frequently around the professor, so he made short films based on them to look for any mental changes in the viewers or to see how well they could withstand-…Ah!?”
“I see. Hee hee.”
“No! That doesn’t deny the premise!! These absurdities don’t exist! They just don’t!! Basing the short films on something that doesn’t exist doesn’t explain this! The easiest explanation would be to say you’re behind all of it, Kozue!!”
“Would you please stop placing me in the villain’s role whenever you run out of ideas!?”
Anzai forced himself to focus on the realistic goal of a supermarket bento, so he had no choice but to deny all of those psychedelic digressions. He had a feeling the fact that he “had no choice” but to deny it meant he was cornered, but he did not want to face it all head on.
If he did, he had a feeling his brain would be overcome by eccentric thought patterns like “The neighborhood cat has been a bit unfriendly of late → Is it related to the sinking of the lost continent of Mu!? →Japan is in danger of sinking!!”
That was why he had to deny it all.
He could feel something crumbling at the edges of his explanations, but he still had to deny it all.
He was pretty sure that demon king’s wings were not made of styrofoam, but he had to deny it all.
Anzai (and Kozue who was following him for some reason) finally made it outside the school building. However…
“What now?”
“…”
Anzai felt a great blast of air.
However, it was not the wind blowing. It was the flow of air created by a giant object moving. Anzai felt the same feeling on his cheek as when a subway train approached the station.
It was caused by…
What Anzai saw walking between the buildings beyond the campus was…
“How do you explain that?”
“…It only appeared for an instant.”
“How do you deny that?”
“It appeared for an instant in the story involving a magical girl and heroes wearing tights! It’s hard to tell what this is!! It would have been easier if it had simply been the magical girl!!”
“That certainly looks like a giant combining robot to me. I can think of no other way to describe it.”
“…”
The robot looked their way with the sound of whirring motors.
It looked as if it would soon head for the university campus.
He had to explain it.
Any explanation would do. Special makeup, a mass of cardboard boxes, or maybe a new weapon from the JSDF. He just had to come up with any reason at all that he was mistaken in thinking what he saw was (something like) a giant robot 20 meters tall walking his way.
“I do not see how you can explain this.”
“No, I can do it!! In a way, I want to deny giant robots more than fairies!! If it’s real, there are endless questions about its design like why something that big would be walking on two legs, so denying it has to be simpler!!”
“I still do not see how you can do so. I am going to run away, but I will tell you the quickest method of denying it.”
“What is it?”
“Let it step on you. If it does not crush you, you have proof that it is made of cardboard boxes or styrofoam. Then I am sure you can easily deny that giant robot.”
Return to Contents Forward to Afterwords
Aisu’s Case
Part 1
“Oh, you got similar results to me. I guess strange things do happen sometimes,” said the girl with the 21st century name of Aisu.
Before Anzai could say anything in response, Harumi stuck her hand into the air and said, “That was completely different from me.”
“It was nothing like mine either,” said Kozue.
“Can’t we talk about this after we get to the coffee shop? They like to close up if they get a chance, so we need to hurry,” said Hotaru.
And so they left the auditorium.
The campus coffee shop was part of an international chain, but it was famous for ignoring its official hours and closing up early.
“Oh, have you heard the rumors about the secret menu there?”
“I thought that was nothing more than the manager failing at making an espresso and trying to pass it off as some secret drink.”
“…Huh?” said Anzai.
He stuck his hands in his pockets, and then checked in his small bag.
It was not there.
“Did I leave my cell phone somewhere?”
“Is it in the auditorium, perhaps?” asked Aisu, but Anzai shook his head.
“No, I don’t remember looking at it during the survey. …Maybe it’s in the lecture hall.”
“Can you search for it using GPS?”
“I’ve turned off all the tracking functions. Those kinds of thin
gs scare me.”
“You sound like a virgin girl,” commented Harumi.
Anzai scratched at his head and said, “I’m gonna go check the school building. Sorry, but I’ll have to skip out on the coffee shop.”
“Eh?”
“Harumi, given the circumstances, we can’t stop him.”
“I think I should help him.”
“Oh, dear. Having him walking through the dark with just Kozue would put him in too much danger, so I think I should go too.”
Anzai wanted to deal with the cell phone problem as soon as possible, so he gave a casual goodbye to the girls and left. He walked down the chilly and almost entirely pitch black path. Normally, it might have seemed a bit creepy, but the pressing realistic concern swept anything of that sort away.
He then heard a voice from behind him.
“Hey, wait up!”
“?”
He turned around to find the (tanned) cabaret club girl named Aisu jogging up from behind. And Kozue was with her.
“What?”
“Kozue’s kind heart (with an ulterior motive hidden below) would not let her relax, so just let us help out.”
“That is not true.” Kozue seemed a bit sullen. “And I would like for you to stop using me as cushioning to soften the blow whenever something makes you embarrassed.”
“Mgh!? Wh-what are you talking about!? Ga ha ha!!”
“Whenever that cushioning habit of yours shows itself, the level of danger you attribute to me shoots up without end! The people hanging around me might be public safety officials!”
“Oh, but it is true that you follow people around, Kozu-…Gyah gyah gyah!?”
Aisu let out a static-like scream when Kozue used her small hands to dishevel the cabaret club girl’s hair.
“I see. So why are you here?” Anzai asked Aisu.
“Hm? I just don’t often get a chance to enter a liberal arts building.”
“No fair! You always take the cool answer for yourself!”
“Stop, stop!! A-anyway, it was just curiosity. Ha ha ha!!”
That must have meant Aisu was in the sciences. Despite looking like a cabaret club girl. But she would have looked out of places in liberal arts as well.
“Surprised?”
“I guess…” said Anzai noncommittally. “Hotaru…-san was it? The tall one with the black hair. She’s the one I would have assumed was in the sciences.”
“Despite how she looks, Hotaru is quite the romanticist. Her major is French literature.”
“Now, that’s surprising.”
“Yes, she would look more at home creating artificial humans in some creepy lab.”
The way they could say such horrible things so casually likely meant they had either known each other a long time or knew each other really well.
“Harumi and Hotaru went on to the coffee shop. If they did not grab a table, the manager really would close up. Let’s find your phone and get back so we can talk.”
“Eh? We’re still doing the coffee shop?”
As they spoke, Anzai and the two girls entered the university building. Since graduate students would sleep over year round, the door was not locked and a smattering of rooms had the lights on.
“By the way, what is your major?” asked Aisu.
“Sociology. But I’m a freshman, so I’m still taking nothing but general education.”
“You’re a freshman?”
“It took two years before I made it into the university.”
“General education courses, hm? When I first got here, I was surprised to find you had to take a physical education class. Putting on a track suit and running long distance is not what I would call intelligent.”
“Kozue, do not get angry at running just because you have nothing that bounces as you run.”
“It is not intelligent.”
No one was in the lecture hall, but it was not locked. After a short search of the room, Anzai found his cell phone almost too easily. It had fallen below the desk he had been in.
“That is a relief.”
“How about you check the log? You want to make sure no one suspicious entered the passcode.”
Anzai used his thumb to check on some things, but there was no sign of anyone having messed with it.
“Looks fine.”
“Then I will email Harumi and Hotaru to tell them we are on our way.”
“Come to think of it,” muttered Anzai as they walked back out into the hallway. “Maybe we should report to the office that the auditorium is unlocked. That professor just went off somewhere without dealing with it.”
“It is nearby, so we can easily stop by.”
“The way he gathered the surveys and then disappeared makes me think of the black code stories.”
At any university that was even slightly well known, rumors of that sort would spread. Things like a leading earthquake researcher suddenly disappearing. This university was no exception. It was possible that referring to it as “that university” would be enough for anyone in Japan to know which university you were talking about.
As Aisu typed out the email with her thumb, she said, “Yes, I have heard the story. There are over 1000 reports submitted each year here, but the story goes that there is a shelf filled with the few ones that have contents simply too dangerous to reveal to the general public.”
“I have heard that one such report contains data taken while investigating the truth behind a certain mysterious killer bacteria,” said Kozue.
“What I heard was that a professor half-jokingly added the question ‘have you ever stabbed someone?’ into a survey he gave his students. He got some unthinkable results and was never seen afterwards,” said Anzai.
While speaking, they had arrived before the office. They could see light coming from around the door, so there must have been at least one worker still there.
Anzai gave a light knock and then entered. When they spoke with the middle-aged woman working there, she frowned and said, “But we never gave authorization to use the auditorium tonight.”
Part 2
“Eh? What, what? Then what was that survey?” asked Harumi in the coffee shop, but Anzai could not answer.
He only knew that no one had been given permission to use the auditorium that day. What that meant, he could not say.
Hotaru frowned and said, “So that professor carried out that survey without informing the university?”
“It’s more than that.” Anzai sighed. “That professor introduced himself as Tanaka-san, remember? Well, there is no professor with that family name in the university.”
“Then who was he?”
“We do not know,” said Aisu with a vague sense of resignation. “It seems some strange old man who has nothing to do with the university came on campus, sent us a notification about the survey, and then carried out the event itself. What I can’t figure out is what he gained from doing all that.”
While mixing a bunch of coffee jelly into her drink, Kozue spoke quietly.
“Our personal information maybe?”
“The only thing he got was our names.”
“You were asleep, right?” said Harumi. “After the survey ended, that professor said something about our numbering for the short films revealing something about the workings of our hearts.”
“But what does that get him?” asked Aisu. “Our addresses and phone numbers is one thing, but how can he make money from learning about our hearts?”
“Exactly,” said Anzai. He could not rid it of all its creepiness, but the mental burden was lightened by the fact that he could not imagine any real harm that could come of it. “But I am a bit afraid that someone outside the college knew about my lack of credits.”
“So it was the credits for you.”
“Eh? It wasn’t for you four?”
“We had our reasons,” said Hotaru as she averted her gaze.
“What?”
“Just leave it alone,” said Aisu as she tried to gloss over i
t with a smile.
“What happened with you four?”
“It was something similar to your situation. Do not worry about it,” said Kozue clearly.
“I want to know what exactly happened.”
“Ah ha ha ha ha ha…!”
Harumi tried to get by with just laughing.
In the end, none of them would answer him. The world was a cold place.
Aisu quickly changed the subject.
“Anyway, the woman in the office was saying they needed to look into this, so it would probably be faster if we just waited for them to come up with an answer.”
The others agreed with her.
And even if they never learned who that professor had been, Anzai doubted it would put them in any danger. If the office workers discovered who he was, that was great. If they were unable to do so, they would all forget about it over time. That was all that came of strange happenings like that.
…Or so Anzai thought.
Part 3
Mysterious things did happen.
Nothing could be done about that.
It was the same as a case of bad timing such as making a cake in cooking class, going to lunch and finding the school lunch had cake for dessert, and then heading home to find a cake there. You did not control your schedule, so you could not keep such things from happening.
But what exactly had happened here?
Anzai would soon find the answer.
Part 4
“Uuh…”
Anzai awoke to the sound of an alarm clock.
He instinctually reached out to stop the noisy clock, but then he realized something.
(What is going on?)
Anzai used the timer on his cell phone to wake himself up. He did not use an alarm clock.
Once his sleep-addled mind regained the ability to think, he realized that was hardly the main problem.
He was not within his apartment.
He was lying on the hard floor and his body ached as a result. The rectangular room was quite dark, but it was not completely dark. A faint light came from one wall. It seemed a window was covered by a curtain.
“Wait. Is this…?”
A Simple Survey - Volume 01 - A Simple Survey Page 18
