by Lee Martin
‘I didn’t think so,’ said Sadie. ‘I know I can trust you girls.’
Poppy and Niki exchanged nervous glances and Kate looked studiously at the tablecloth, each of them thinking of their own clandestine lives.
‘Eddie told me to get a job, what a laugh,’ said Sadie. ‘What could I do? Stack shelves at Asda for a minimum wage? That ain’t going to get me out of the trouble I’m in. We owe everyone. I’m on the fucking run night and day.’
‘I’ve got some dough,’ said Kate. ‘Not much. Maybe five thousand, but you’re welcome.’
‘Me too,’ said Poppy. ‘A few grand.’
‘Sorry Sadie,’ said Niki, ‘but you know how I’m fixed.’
‘I know love,’ said Sadie. ‘And thanks girls, but I need a small fortune. That’d be like putting a sticking plaster on a broken leg. But one thing Eddie did do. A sort of parting gesture was to tell me about a blag he’s planned. A four-hander, plus a couple of muppets.’
‘What kind of blag?’ asked Kate.
Sadie lowered her voice. ‘A truck full of old money up for burning. From a bank. Millions. Eddie gets fifty pence on the pound, no danger. The chaps are doing it. I saw your Connie,’ she said to Niki. ‘Cunt told me to fuck off. Sorry.’
‘You don’t have to apologise to me Sadie,’ said Niki. ‘You know what I think of him.’
‘When?’ asked Kate. ‘When’s it supposed to be going down?’
‘Christ knows,’ replied Sadie. ‘When the inside man gives the word. I thought one of you might know.’
The other girls looked at each other. ‘They’re always about making mischief,’ said Poppy. ‘But you know they don’t let us mere women in on what’s happening.’
‘Fuckers,’ said Sadie.
The dishes were taken away and the next course served, and then the next bottle of wine opened, and things at the table were beginning to get a little messy. As all the previous tensions eased it was almost like old times, with Sadie cracking filthy jokes and eyeing-up the gorgeous young waiters. ‘So what’s happening girls?’ said Sadie. ‘Come on, I know you lot too well. There’s something up, don’t say there isn’t. Is it something I did? I know I’ve been a bit of a stranger since Eddie went away, but there’s reasons. Come on, there’s no secrets here. You girls are my best friends. What’s the story?’
29
Niki and Poppy had kept their affair a secret so far. They booked into expensive hotels for an afternoon whenever they could, but they both knew that eventually the truth would come out, and when it did, they were in for big problems. Poppy’s credit card bill was hitting its ceiling, and when Joseph sussed that out, questions were going to be asked. Serious questions, such as why Poppy was checking into luxury hotels two or three times a week. Joseph may not have wanted her, but he certainly wouldn’t want to lose face with his mates by letting her shag another man, let alone a woman. They had talked long and hard about what to do, and the only answer seemed to be to vanish. Collect together what cash they could and disappear into the sunset. Poppy suggested South Wales, and Niki, who hadn’t travelled in the UK very far, agreed. She didn’t know Wales from a hole in the ground, but Poppy was convinced they could get lost there. But it was a risky business, and both the women knew that Connie for one wasn’t going to take his wife running off lightly. And, like Joe, it would probably drive him into a murderous fury. Niki being the wife of one of his mates would make it even worse.
When they set off to lunch, they had no intentions of telling Sadie and Kate what was going on, but a combination of too much wine and the stress they were living under finally made them come clean.
When Sadie asked what was going on, Poppy put her hand on Niki’s and said nervously, ‘We’re together.’
Sadie and Kate looked across the table from Poppy to Niki and back again, like spectators at a tennis match. ‘What?’ said Sadie. ‘What do you mean?’
‘If this is a joke,’ asked Kate, ‘I don’t get it.’
‘Niki and I are lovers,’ said Poppy. ‘We love each other.’
‘You’re lesbians?’ said Kate. ‘But what about Joe? What about Connie?’
‘Fuck them both,’ said Niki. ‘Joe only cares for his child and its mother. And Connie. He’s a bastard who thinks because he paid for me to come here, he owns me. I hate him.’
‘And I hate Joe,’ said Poppy.
‘But what are you going to do? Connie will kill you, Nik.’
‘Not if I kill him first.’
‘Are you having a laugh?’ asked Kate, concerned for her friend’s sanity. ‘He’s a maniac.’
‘So am I,’ said Niki. She picked up her handbag, fished inside and came out with a long bladed knife. One side had a saw edge, the other a cutter. The handle was bound with tape and it was stained a rusty brown.
‘What are you doing with that?’ said Sadie. ‘You’ll have us nicked. Are you crazy?’
‘If you like,’ said Niki. ‘I may be crazy, but if Connie tries to stop me going, or comes after us, I’ll cut his throat. And the same goes for Joe. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again.’ She dropped the knife amongst the dishes and cutlery on the table where it lay as dark and dangerous as a shark in a swimming pool.
‘What the hell is that? And what do you mean, you’ve done it before?’ exclaimed Kate.
‘What I say,’ said Niki. ‘Don’t underestimate me.’
‘I don’t get this,’ said Sadie. ‘When did this happen? Going the other way I mean.’
‘A few weeks ago,’ said Poppy.
‘And you’re going to fuck off together?’
‘That’s the plan,’ said Poppy.
‘Where?’
‘Far away from here.’
‘And that money you offered me.’
‘That’s our pot,’ said Poppy. ‘It’s not much, but it’ll get us started.’
‘And you’d have given it to me?’
‘If it helped. You’ve been a mate,’ said Poppy. ‘We’d have found some other way to get some money.’
‘I don’t believe this,’ said Sadie. ‘What about you Kate?’
‘I’ve got someone too,’ Kate blurted as she poured more wine. ‘And put that bloody thing away Niki. It’s giving me the creeps. Is that blood?’
Niki nodded, and slid the knife back into her bag.
‘Hold on,’ said Sadie, grabbing Kate’s arm. ‘What do you mean you’ve got someone too?’
‘I met someone. Well, he met me. He nicked me for hoisting up West weeks ago.’
‘A copper?’ Sadie exploded. ‘You’re going out with a fucking copper?’
‘I wasn’t going to tell,’ said Kate. ‘But when Poppy and Niki owned up… Well. I’ve told you now and that’s all there is to it.’
‘Fuck me,’ said Sadie. ‘This is like waking up and finding yourself in the land of Oz. Let’s get another fucking bottle, and you can tell me everything. And Niki, did you really kill someone with that knife?’
Niki nodded. ‘If you like I’ll tell you about it.’
And she did.
30
Kate told the other three about being given a pull, and what had subsequently occurred. The only thing she left out was that Ali was Asian. In fact she never mentioned his name. ‘And he took you out to lunch?’ said Sadie. ‘Cheek of the man. Then up to a hotel room.’
‘Seemed like a good idea at the time,’ said Kate. ‘And at least he doesn’t raise his hand to me like Robbo. He’s kind and gentle.’
‘He obviously raises something though,’ said Sadie with a dirty laugh. ‘You dirty bitch. Looks like you three are getting a bit of the other, and there’s me all alone.’
‘What about your blokes?’ asked Poppy. ‘You were always at it.’
‘Soon as the money ran out, so did they,’ said Sadie. ‘Fuckers. Or not, as the case may be.’
‘Men,’ the other three chorused in unison, and they all burst out laughing, relaxed and drunk from the copious amounts of wine.
�
�I don’t believe all this,’ said Sadie, as the waiter popped the cork out of the sixth, or was it the seventh bottle of Chardonnay? She waved away his offer of a taste. ‘If it ain’t right we’ll let you know,’ she said. ‘Just leave it.’
When their glasses were filled they tapped the glassware and toasted each other drunkenly. ‘Christ,’ said Sadie to Kate. ‘What would happen if Robbo found out you were screwing a bill?’
‘He’d kill me too,’ she said.
‘Looks like us girls are living close to the edge,’ said Sadie. ‘And all our blokes have pissed on us one way or another.’
‘Well, we’re pissing on them now,’ said Kate.
‘Listen,’ said Sadie, lowering her voice again. ‘I’ve had an idea. This robbery. Why don’t we piss on them once and for all?’
‘What do you mean?’ asked Poppy.
‘I know the details. Or at least most of them.’ She briefly explained what was going to happen according to Eddie’s plan. ‘Now, you three are going to know when something’s kicking off. You must. You know what they’re like when they’ve got something big planned. You could find out exactly when the drop off is going to be. When they’ve got the clean money. We could take it off them.’
‘Oh yeah,’ said Kate. ‘What with? Niki’s knife, and a couple of chopsticks off the table?’
‘I’ve got weapons,’ said Sadie. ‘And enough ammunition to start world war three.’
‘What weapons?’ asked Niki, suddenly interested.
‘Three Glock handguns and an Uzi semi-automatic.’
‘Where did you get them?’ asked Kate.
‘Eddie’s got them in safe deposit boxes.’
‘Have you ever used a gun?’ asked Niki.
‘Not until the other day. I loaded one of the pistols and went down Epping Forest for a practice. I’m still half deaf.’
‘Guns scare me,’ said Kate.
‘Me too,’ Poppy chimed in. ‘It’s a mad idea.’
‘So is running off to sheep shagging, wild and woolly Wales,’ said Sadie.
‘It’s not so mad,’ said Niki. ‘I could teach you. I know weapons. I’ve fired an Uzi. Poppy, what about it?’
‘If you say so Niki. I don’t like it, but whatever you want to do I’ll back you up. You know that.’
‘Are you scared?’
‘Terrified.’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll protect you. I love you, I’m not going to let anything hurt you.’
‘You’re all crazy,’ said Kate. ‘Coming from a gangster’s wife is who sleeping with a copper, that’s rich,’ said Sadie.
‘Suppose you’re right,’ said Kate, finishing her glass of wine and shaking the empty bottle. ‘Do you reckon they do Irish coffee here?’
31
When the girls finally staggered out into the late afternoon sunshine they agreed to make a meet in two days time at Sadie’s place. ‘If I’ve still got a fucking place,’ she said as she headed for her car. ‘Unless the bleedin’ bailiffs come in, or some cunt puts in an offer.’
‘Show ‘em your stocking tops,’ said Poppy. ‘That’ll give ‘em something to think about.’
‘Give ‘em a shag,’ said Sadie. ‘Done that already.’
‘How do you mean?’
Sadie explained and the other girls almost collapsed with laughter.
‘Glad you think it’s funny,’ said Sadie. ‘Worst fuck of my life.’
Niki grabbed her by the arm as she was getting into the motor. ‘Are you going to get those guns?’ she said.
‘Yeah,’ replied Sadie.
‘Want us to come with you?’
‘No. Going in mob-handed we’ll be remembered. I’ll slob myself up a bit. Don’t worry, it’ll be all right.’
‘Just be careful. I hear the British cops don’t like automatic weapons.’
‘I’ll be good,’ said Sadie. ‘See you Thursday.’
The next day she dressed in an old Juicy velour tracksuit, greased her hair down and wore big sunglasses when she went to the two banks where the guns and ammo were stored. She took an old rucksack and a leather holdall with her.
At the first bank she carefully put the weapons into the back pack and transferred them to her car. She felt that all eyes were upon her as she went from the bank to the car park, but all was well.
At the second bank the official who brought in her drawer said. ‘This is heavy, feels like a lead weight.’
How right you are thought Sadie, but she said, ‘Family jewels love. Things have gone pear shaped. Got to hock the lot. Don’t worry, it won’t weigh much when you take it back.’ And it didn’t, as she’d transferred all the ammunition to the holdall which she could hardly lift, it weighed so much. But she managed, and drove home feeling confident the plan would go off without a hitch—as long as the other girls did their bit and didn’t chicken out.
The next morning Kate, Poppy and Niki arrived at the house as arranged.
Sadie had hidden the guns in the basement utility room, and they all convened downstairs. Niki went straight to the ammunition and started to load the guns. The other three could hardly believe how swiftly and expertly she loaded the clips. The bullets seemed to just spring into the magazines. ‘You’ve done that before,’ said Sadie.
‘A thousand times,’ replied Niki, as she slammed the Uzi’s thirty round clip home, tugged back the bolt, and set the gun to full auto. She hefted it upright, and the other three suddenly realised what a dangerous woman she was as she spun round to aim the gun at Sadie’s washer/drier.
‘Careful,’ said Sadie. ‘That ain’t paid for yet.’
‘It will be,’ said Niki, and she carefully put the Uzi on top of the machine. ‘Right,’ she said. ‘Now it’s you lot’s turn.’
‘Bloody hell,’ said Kate as she gingerly accepted a Glock and an empty magazine. ‘What do I do now?’
‘Push the bullets into the mag just like I did,’ said Niki, and Kate clumsily attempted the feat.
‘No,’ said Niki. ‘That won’t do. Sadie, you got scissors and an emery board?’
‘Course,’ replied Sadie and dived into her handbag.
‘No,’ said Kate, realising what was going to happen. ‘No.’
‘You’ll never manage with those nails,’ said Niki. ‘Give me your hand.’
‘This manicure set me back a ton,’ wailed Kate, as Niki grabbed her left hand and chopped off the expensive acrylic fingernails she wore. Then she did the same with the right and tossed Kate the emery.
‘File ‘em down short.’
‘Robbo’ll kill me.’
‘I doubt it,’ said Niki. ‘But maybe you can kill him if you learn to shoot straight.’
32
‘The next thing is to shoot these little babies,’ said Niki, picking up the Uzi again and stroking it like a pet cat. ‘Where should we do it?’
‘Well, not my back garden,’ said Sadie. ‘Might upset the neighbours. How about that place in Epping Forest I found? It was quiet. Never saw a soul.’
‘You took a big risk,’ said Niki. ‘I suppose you used your own car.’
Sadie nodded.
‘Right,’ said Niki. ‘The forest is good. But look at us. We need to keep a low profile. And you Kate. Not in those shoes. You got anything a bit more suitable for a walk through the woods?’ she said to Sadie.
‘What’s wrong with my shoes?’ said Kate. ‘These are Jimmy Choos.’
‘Exactly,’ said Niki.
‘I’ve got some Timberlands upstairs,’ said Sadie. ‘You’re a six aren’t you Kate?’
Kate nodded.
‘Great.’
‘And we’ll steal a car,’ said Niki.
‘What?’ said Sadie.
‘It won’t be as nice as yours. Something older, that I can get into fast.’
‘You steal cars?’ said Kate.
‘Sure. Who doesn’t? And we’ll all need gloves. You got some Sade?’
‘I can do that. Just as well I’m a fashion victim. Or was.’
Poppy just looked on silently. There was a lot her friends didn’t know about Niki, but they were beginning to learn.
In her borrowed boots, leather gloves, and a Barbour waxed jacket, Kate fitted in with the others who had dressed for a day in the country. They took the guns out to Sadie’s SUV, once more packed away in the rucksack, with all spare magazines loaded.
‘Is there a supermarket close?’ asked Niki. ‘With a car park?’
‘Yeah,’ replied Sadie. ‘But I do my weekly shop there, and it’s loaded with CCTV.’
‘Let me worry about that,’ said Niki.
Sadie drove to the supermarket and Niki hopped out of her car at the entrance. ‘Drive on,’ she said. ‘Then park up where you can. I’ll flash the lights when I see you, and we’ll find somewhere to dump your car.’
‘You’re confident,’ said Kate.
‘Trust me,’ Niki said, and then she was gone.
Sadie did as she was told, and drove into a lay-by a couple of miles up the road. Within minutes, a nondescript Japanese hatchback flashed its lights and pulled in behind. Niki was at the wheel. She got out and ran up to Sadie’s window. ‘Easy,’ she said. ‘Might as well leave yours here. We’ll pick it up later. Get the guns and be quick.’
The girls left the SUV, Poppy carrying the rucksack full of weapons, and piled into the hatchback which smelt of cigarettes and BO. ‘Nice,’ said Kate.
Niki got behind the wheel and pulled back onto the main road.
Sadie gave her directions to Epping and as they sped along the main road, Poppy said, ‘What’s the sentence do you think, driving a stolen car full of guns?’
‘Christ,’ said Kate.
‘Just asking,’ said Poppy with a grin. ‘This is fun.’
It was several miles later that things started going pear shaped. A white Transit van decided to pass Niki and cut her up severely as he flashed her a V-sign. Niki said something in Russian that sounded obscene and took off after the van. ‘Leave it,’ said Sadie.
‘Will I fuck. Bastard man,’ said Niki and smashed her foot down on the accelerator and rocketed past the van, pulled in hard and fast, nearly sending it off the road. She reached round and pulled the Uzi from the rucksack.
