Rainbow's End

by JB Bonds

  As we walked out the front door, I decided to toss a TV Guide into the middle of the kitchen floor. I’ve found doing that is a great trick to help me remember something later. I wanted to watch a special program later in the evening about King Tut. Unfortunately, I can see the time will come when throwing something on the floor as a reminder for something later, will only serve as a frustration because I won’t be able to remember why that magazine is on the living room floor. Yes, the time will come. We locked the front door and started down the deck steps.

  “Pick up the pace, Roz.”

  “Calm it, Joanie! I’m trying to get ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ tuned in. Then you can eat my dust!”

  Our pool facility is at the end of our street. The canals that are at the back of all the residences converge on the inside of the Inner Perimeter Road which circles the whole community. Boaters can follow this main canal, going under arched bridges, and then out to the Gulf. One of these bridges is at the end of Palm Street. We like to stop about half way across the bridge to see if we can see any tarpons in the water below because on one of our walks, we saw a tarpon that had to be 6’ long and probably weighed 80 lbs. What a sight! These fish swim up into the canals here at Rainbow and cause quite a ruckus among the residents. On the other side of the bridge is the Inner Perimeter Road and across that street are our pool and tennis courts. While sitting by the pool you can see palm trees that line a walkway that runs down to a manmade sandy beach which always has lounge chairs and umbrellas set up for residents who want some quiet time by the water. The pool area is fenced in but there is a gate that leads to the walkway down to the beach.

  Rainbow’s End is basically laid out in the shape of a rectangle with the main office, Recreation Center, library, Country Store, Annex, a post office and bank just inside the front gate and to the left. Rainbow is completely fenced in with the Outer Perimeter Road running along the outside of the fence. There is a guard at the entrance to the complex who checks out everyone before they are allowed to enter and gives guests a tag to hang on their mirror. The full-time residents have a sticker on their windshield that is easily seen by the guard. We find getting around Rainbow to be easy, and we feel safe. The owners of Rainbow’s End are seldom in residence, but it’s not necessary that they be around because Herb and Bonnie Bennett take good care of everyone.

  We needed to get a move on, because I wanted to claim the two lounge chairs closest to the bathroom. Since I make frequent trips to the ladies room, I don’t want to traipse around the entire pool every time nature calls. This just basically announces that yes, yet again, I am going to the potty. I have to admit though; I am not alone with this problem because most of my female friends have bladders the size of a walnut. It never fails, Beatrice Phillips always snags one of those loungers, and I was determined I would claim two of them today.

  The morning breeze usually comes off the Gulf and in February the temperature can already be in the 70’s. Our next door neighbors are new having moved in a couple weeks ago, and I had found out they are a mere 65 and 67 years old, been married for 26 years, and their names are Florence and Virgil Hammond. Roz and I need to bake a batch of brownies and go for a visit to check out these newcomers.

  Only a few feet up the street, Roz turned to me and said, “Joanie, we’ve got time, let’s walk over to Lois’s to see if she wants to go to class this morning.”

  “You know I hate to even go to the door at Lois’s. All those cats in that tiny space just drive me crazy. What’s up with all those cats anyway?”

  “Oh come on, don’t be such a fuddy-duddy. Lois just loves her cats and can’t pass up a stray one to save her life.”

  Lois lives across the street from our house and two doors up. As we walked up to Lois’s trailer, things seemed a little unkempt and I noticed it was way too quiet. At this time of the morning you could usually hear cats meowing and Lois talking to them. Most of the potted plants on the lower deck were wilted, and several days of newspapers were still out by the mailbox. Lois Nuttinger may be cat crazy, but not neglectful of her surroundings. Standing at 5’4” tall and weighing under 100 pounds, Lois is a petite 85 year old. Roz and I became fast friends with her because she truly is a caring, nice person, and doesn’t let her age get in the way of her doing anything. Roz and I walked up to Lois’s door and as we were about to knock, we heard a man’s voice from inside say, “Come here my little puss, puss, puss….meow….meow, come here my little puddy tat.” Roz and I just looked at each other and choked back some giggles. I was about to turn and go, but Roz knocked.

  Chapter 2

  Miss Puss Puss

  “Roz, do you think knocking is a good idea. Lois sounds kind of occupied right now.”

  “No harm in asking her if she wants to go to the pool,” Roz said with a sly grin on her face.

  Roz has an impish side to her personality. I could see by her face she couldn’t wait to see who would answer the door. As for me, I stood behind Roz, peeping over her shoulder. We heard someone taking the chain off the lock.

  Finally, Lois opened the door, but just a little crack. She seemed nervous and out of sorts, and still in her housecoat, which was strange since she loves the water class. Another odd thing was I saw no cats.

  “Good morning, Miss Puss, Puss, how are you?” Roz asked.

  My head snapped around to look at Roz because I couldn’t believe what she had said. Lois’s

  eyes got big as saucers, but she didn’t crack a smile.

  “Are you going to join us today for aerobics?” Roz craned her neck, trying to look past Lois.

  “I’m not going today,” Lois said as she closed the door.

  Roz and I just looked at each other and turned to go. As we left Lois’s trailer I knew something was going on, not that it was any of my business. I was just a little surprised at Lois, because if she had her choice, she’d be at the pool around the clock. She was a regular fish when it came to swimming.

  “Roz, who do you think that man was in there with Lois, and where were her cats? They’re usually crawling all over her when she answers the door.”

  “Something is definitely going on, but Lois is certainly old enough to know what she wants to do. She looked a little stressed, but maybe being Miss Puss, Puss is wearing her down a little. Let’s get to the pool so we can snag those two loungers before Beatrice gets there.”

  Roz and I always enjoy going to the pool. Even though Rainbow has lots of things to do and great places to see your fellow residents, the pool is number one with us. When you first walk into the pool area, the sight of that huge Olympic sized pool with its crystal clear water is always so welcoming. Thankfully, walking into a pool area at our ages is much less stressful than when we were in our 20’s. Back then, you worried whether your bathing suit was in style, how good your tan was, and remembered to suck in your tummy. Now everyone isn’t obsessed about the way they look in a bathing suit, or how much cellulite they’re sporting. We’re all just happy to be there.

  On either side of the pool, loungers were always set out as well as umbrella tables. As usual, we could smell the chlorine mixed in with the aroma of camellia bushes that surround the perimeter of the pool. The combination of those two fragrances always made us think we were on vacation year round. There were six or seven people already in the pool, paddling around and catching up on gossip.

  Roz and I barely got to the loungers before Beatrice Phillips came barreling around the corner of the building heading straight for those chairs. Beatrice is a funny duck. She says she’s 71 but I would guess you could add ten years to that. Standing at 4’ 5” and weighing in at 85 lbs with bright cherry red hair piled on top of her head, Bea always commands attention. Bea is a pack rat, though some people would say she’s a kleptomaniac. She’ll pick up anything that attracts her attention and carry it home, and has been known to come out of restaurants with more than the complimentary mint. Her handbag i
s huge and we have no idea what’s in it, but we would wager, there could be anything from McDonald’s sweetener packets to a full place setting of spoons and forks from the Olive Garden. She’s been in residence at Rainbow for about ten years now. She knows everyone and everything that’s going on. She makes it her business to know and she also makes it her business to tell everyone else what she knows.

  Bea shared a little of her past with Roz and me one day at the pool while we were lounging after aerobics. She was a child of the Depression era and learned at an early age nothing was to be wasted. The relatively new term “repurpose” has been her life’s mantra. Bea was married two times and raised two separate families, and actually had her last baby when she was almost 50. Since we’ve been at Rainbow, we haven’t met any of her family, but she does travel to visit her children often. In fact, if anyone needed a companion for a road trip, Bea was first in line. She loves traveling. We’re not sure if that’s because she likes to see new places and meet new people, or it gives her an opportunity to “acquire” more stash.

  Whatever the occasion, Bea is always ready for a couple of glasses of wine, which she does on a regular basis. Besides her daily ration of wine, which Bea says is strictly for medicinal purposes, she always brings a thermos with warm water and lemon juice to the pool to sip on. She absolutely insists the water has to be warm and have at least a quarter cup of lemon juice if she is to get the full benefit of the concoction. Bea also uses the lemon water to swallow the dozen or so vitamins she takes. Roz and I asked her about this habit of taking so many vitamins and supplements, and she said every time she reads about a new vitamin that’s been proven to help in the aid of any bodily function, she takes it. Better safe than sorry is her motto. We’re not sure why she insists on sipping the warm water and taking the vitamins at poolside, but that’s just Bea.

  Beatrice spoke up as soon as she saw Roz and me in the chairs. “Well, well, if it isn’t the sisters. Looks like you two were up bright and early to have beaten me here. Where’s Lois? She’s usually with you two.”

  “Oh, we stopped by Lois’s but she has company right now and couldn’t make it to the pool this morning.” I took off my cover-up and adjusted my swimsuit.

  Beatrice’s ears perked up, and she said, “Doesn’t surprise me in the least. Tutti told me she hasn’t seen Lois as much lately and when she did see Lois outside, she tried to stop her to talk, but Lois wouldn’t even look at her. Just kept walking. Who knows what she’s up to,” Bea said.

  “That’s not like Lois at all. I think Roz and I will stop by to see her on our way home,”.

  At that moment our instructor walked into the pool area. Henrietta Williamson, or Henri as she likes to be called, is not a resident of Rainbow. She lives in downtown Key West. Our water class is only one of several she teaches every week at different facilities. Henri is proud of her excellent physical condition with not an ounce of fat, no sagging belly, and always tanned to perfection. I would guess Henri is in her mid-50’s. Some people get all the good genes, but Henri also works hard to look the way she does. She looked beautiful in her bright red one piece swimsuit as she came through the pool gate with her arms full of exercise floats, and a young lifeguard following closely behind with more equipment for our class.

  Henri shouted as she blew her whistle, “Come on people. Let’s get started. Daylight is burning.”

  “Why does she have to be so gawl-danged perky all the time? said Tutti as she passed by us on her way to a table close by. “Maybe I don’t do perky this early in the morning.”

  Talk about perky. Tutti Norton is a “snowbirder” who arrived in January for her five month visit. She is infernally whiny and grumpy. The only things perky about her are her 42 DD boobs. Add to those frontal appendages a body that’s barely five feet tall, and there are parts you see coming before Tutti turns a corner. For Tutti, nothing is ever good enough, fast enough, or done right for her. She gets under everybody’s skin but we try to tolerate her in the hope that with time, she’ll cut the whiny crap. Tutti drives a huge RV from Michigan by herself. When she arrives at Rainbow she fully expects help getting the monster parked and secured. She can be so pushy.

  Henri had gotten into the pool and was still yelling orders, “OK, people, let’s get started. Tutti, move closer to me so I can help you with the routine since you haven’t been here for awhile. Beatrice, could I have your full attention? And you sisters in the back, let’s stop the chit-chat. Let’s get moving!”

  “She takes a little of the enjoyment out of this class, doesn’t she?” Roz grumbled.

  “You can say that again.”

  We could see Henri looking at us and knew she wasn’t happy we were continuing to chatter. “Sisters, let’s get those legs moving and those lips sealed!”

  Keeping my lips pressed together as best I could, I hissed at Roz and told her to move over in the water. Albert Norcross, or “Al” as he insists on being called, had just planted himself directly in front of me. Al in front of you at aqua aerobics is not something you want to experience. Al loves his Speedo, but unfortunately, due to his enormous girth, the Speedo has turned into a thong. Only bits and pieces of that swimsuit can be found mixed in around the flab, and when he does the exercises, it’s just not something you want to see that early in the morning. Roz looked at me curiously and then saw Al. She completely understood and slid to the left, leaving me room to get out of view of “thong man.”

  Big speakers on the side of the pool cabana began blasting out 60’s tunes, which always gets Roz and me revved up. Unfortunately, Beatrice is a “sing-along” kind of a gal, and I do mean sing along; loud enough that those exercising close to her often miss the cue from Henri to move on to the next exercise. Alberta was struggling to keep up, but good old Al had sidled up to her to offer her assistance. Lucky Alberta. Our forty-five minute class went by quickly.

  After class we enjoyed some time in our loungers, and thankfully, Beatrice decided to go home. It could be because she didn’t get the lounger she wanted. Roz and I always enjoy having a friend or two around us, but honestly Bea can drive you to distraction because she always has an opinion about everything and everyone, and you better believe, her opinion is all that counts. She’s not shy about telling you how good or bad you look that day, or how you’re being lazy about weeding the gardens around your house.

  The pool area is located right next to the tennis and bocce ball courts, so there is a lot of resident traffic in that area, and Roz thoroughly enjoys watching the guys play tennis. It reminds her of her husband, who was a fantastic tennis player. In other words, sitting at the pool is the perfect place to see the comings and goings of the residents. From behind our wide-brimmed straw hats, Roz and I have the ability to stare, but not get caught.

  “Wow! Here comes Burton and is he ever dolled up today,” I removed my sunglasses to get a better look.

  Roz turned her gaze in the direction of the gate. Today must have been lime green day. His blouse, short poodle skirt, high heels, and boa were all the color of spring grass. Only his pocketbook was red. Where does he get these clothes? Burton is a cross-dresser and definitely embraces being gay. How he can walk in 4 inch stilettos at his age is a real mystery. Burton is around 65 years old, six feet tall, with a body like a string bean. Most Rainbow residents don’t hassle him about his choice of attire because Burton has such an upbeat, positive personality. Every day is an event to him and he lives his life as if it’s a perpetual party. Burton lives in a beautiful RV worth more than my first house. Where he gets his money isn’t clear, but he certainly has a great clothing allowance, and a beautician I want to meet. Burton’s hair is always beautifully coifed, usually up in a high ponytail for pool days.

  “Hey, Burton. How’s it going?” I asked.

  “I feel a little under dressed today. Couldn’t find my green pocketbook so this red one is going to have to do. Now that I look at it out here in the sun,
I think it actually gives my outfit a little pop, don’t you? There aren’t any naughty bits showing are there?” he asked as he twirled around in front of us.

  “If naughty bits are what I think they are, they aren’t showing,” Roz said with a sigh of relief.

  “Oh good. Things were getting a little breezy as I walked over. The bikini I have on today is notorious for not staying put, so things tend to pop out sometimes.”

  “You look very put together today, Burton. I wonder, have you talked to Lois lately?”

  “Joanie, I haven’t seen Lois in a day or so. Why, is there a problem?”

  “We’re not sure. Roz and I are going to stop by her trailer on our way home.”

  A long shadow fell over my lounger and when I looked up, it was Al, and oh my goodness, I swear his Speedo-esque thong was nowhere in sight. Please tell me Al isn’t standing in front of me stark naked, but I swear all I could see were rolls and rolls of hairy flesh.

  Burton was aghast at Al’s seeming lack of attire and stood by Roz’s lounger with his mouth hanging open.

  “Al, forget something?” Burton asked.

  “No, Burton, I don’t think so. Why?”

  “Oh good Lord! How you get that Speedo on and off without hurting yourself is beyond me.”