by JB Bonds
“What makes you think I’m the one that messed with your clothesline, lady?” Harry shouted. There are other people who live on this street, you know! Why, I think I saw you right in front of their house this morning!” Harry said as he pointed at Tutti.
“Now wait one minute, you old geezer! Are you accusing me of messing with the clothesline?” Tutti shouted.
“I’ll tell you why she thinks you’re the culprit. You have to be the most cantankerous old man I have ever met, and you have made it quite clear to everyone you’ve ever spoken to that not only do you want no trespassers on your property, but you fully expect the residents of Rainbow to conform to the way you decorate your front yard, and clotheslines are not decoration!” Lois yelled.
“Now wait a minute. So what if I don’t make a habit of talking up all the neighbors and wanting some peace and quiet at my house? That doesn’t mean I’d actually walk across the street and mess with somebody else’s property! Has anyone seen me messing around over here?” Harry shouted, shaking his fist.
“What’s going on here?” I asked.
“I hung out my sheets this morning because it’s Wednesday, then McGhee and I went up to the post office. When we got back, our clothesline was pulled out of its stand, clothes and all, and dumped on the ground!” Ida said with a shaky voice.
“And who do we see standing out in his front yard just like he was waiting for us to get back home? Harry!” shouted McGhee.
“That doesn’t mean I messed with that damned clothesline, lady!” Harry shouted.
“My name is McGhee Parker, not lady.”
“Lois, I think you and I need to go on to the pool, and leave this situation alone,” Tutti said as she pulled Lois away from the group.
“Maybe you’re right, Tutti. Talking to this old man is making my blood boil!” Lois said. With that, Lois and Tutti started walking toward the pool at the same time Harry started across the street back to his house.
“Ida and McGhee, I’m at a loss to understand what’s going on here. I thought we’d handled this problem and that the Rainbow residents were comfortable with the solution,” Roz said.
“We thought so, too. You could have knocked us over when we got home and saw this mess!” Ida said.
“Let us help you get these sheets off the ground and set up your clothesline,” I said.
“Maybe we just need to start using our dryer. We don’t want to cause any more trouble over something as simple as laundry,” McGhee said with sadness in her voice.
We helped Ida and McGhee get their sheets into the washing machine for the second washing of the day and sat down to have a cup of tea with them. After hashing out all we could on the subject of the clothesline, Roz and I went home, but with a feeling of uneasiness. We felt like whoever was messing with the clothesline had to be a neighbor. How else would they know when Ida and McGhee hung out laundry and when they’d be out so the coast was clear to tear down everything? Besides, no one else’s clotheslines had been tampered with, only Ida and McGhee’s. This whole situation had an ugly feel to it.
Chapter 24
I’m Ready for a Vacation
Between book club, aqua aerobics, mahjongg, bridge, bingo, and beading class, Roz and I found ourselves very busy. We also had spent several days at the Recreation Center going over ideas for the scenery and set of Under the Big Top. Here it was almost mid-April and we hadn’t accomplished a lot. Rainbow residents were still working hard on their acts and Burton was still pushing them to the limit. We hadn’t seen Burton for a week or so, and when we did see him at the Center, we were shocked at how much weight he seemed to have lost.
“Burton, are you losing weight?” Roz asked.
“Yes, thank the Lord. I’ve wanted to take off ten pounds for years. I have outfits I haven’t worn because of those extra pounds.”
“Don’t lose any more weight. You’re looking a little thin to me,” I said.
“I’m not eating as much as I used to and I’m not sleeping as much. My energy has been phenomenal and I thank Caliente Honey for all of this!” Burton sang as he did a little ballerina twirl.
We could see his hands shaking, as well as his knees, when he spun around. Burton looked completely exhausted. How he could look in the mirror and think he looked good, just didn’t seem possible. His skin was almost gray. His eyes bounced around like ping-pong balls, and he was in constant motion. His speech was frenetic, like he couldn’t get out what he wanted to say fast enough.
“Truly, Burton, you need to go see your doctor and talk to him about using so much of this elixir,” Roz said.
“If you two girls mention my Caliente usage once more, you can consider this friendship over!” Burton shouted. He spun around on his heel and marched out of the room.
“I’m so worried about him, and don’t know how to help him, Joanie,” Roz said with a frown.
“Maybe Joe will find out something about the Hammonds that will shut down their elixir business. I guess that’s the only way we might be able to get this product out of the reach of so many Rainbow residents,” I said.
“You’re right. Let’s go home and call Judy and Sylvia to see what time their flights arrive on Sunday. Having the girls here for a week will be so much fun. Between robberies, the clothesline dilemma, and Rainbow’s residents going bonkers, I’m ready for a little vacation from my vacation.”
Later that afternoon while we were walking Max, we saw McGhee outside her house watering her flowers. “Joanie, have you read this month’s book club read?” McGhee asked as she turned away from her watering.
“I’m about halfway through the book. What do you think?”
“I’m thinking it’s getting to be a little repetitious, if you know what I mean,” McGhee said with a smile.
“I’m hoping we have fewer people show up for this month’s meeting. Maybe, just maybe, I can bring up the subject of expanding our reading horizons beyond eroticism. Don’t get me wrong, erotic books have their devoted followers, and that’s OK by me, but I feel like there are so many other good books out there we could read.”
“I know what you mean. I have several books I’d love to suggest, like Maya Angelou’s I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, and Toni Morrison’s Beloved. Now those are some books that create wonderful discussion.”
“I couldn’t agree more. Maybe we can reach a compromise with the club members and suggest we alternate months with some other kinds of books and read eroticism just every few months.”
“How about this compromise? Maybe Alberta could start her own erotic book club. She already has a name for it. Then we can move on with those members who want to branch out a little bit.”
“Outstanding suggestion!”
We had dropped Ida and McGhee off at their house after church and a quick grocery store run. Ida announced they had a line on a used golf cart and were supposed to pick it up from Herb on Monday morning. Ida had gotten so confident in her driving abilities that she was actually pushing hard for a car. Roz and I encouraged the two sisters to get the golf cart and not spend their money on a car. Cars were expensive to run and could be such a headache. We let them know we’d be glad to take them anywhere they wanted to go in Lara. I could understand their frustration, though. Ida and McGhee were such vibrant seniors, with bright minds, and such positive energy. Now that they had time to explore their surroundings and enough money to actually do a little local traveling, they felt hemmed in at Rainbow. Maybe Roz and I should rethink our stand on Ida and McGhee getting their own car, but for now, we made a pact to explore the Keys a little more and always include Ida and McGhee in our little forays.
“Have a wonderful Sunday afternoon, girls. Roz and I have to go in to the Key West Airport to pick up our friends. They’ll be here for a week. We want you two to meet them, so we’re planning dinner at our place. Are you free this Thursday night around 6:00?” I asked.
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“That sounds wonderful. Are you going to bring them to any of Rainbow’s activities?” Ida asked.
“I know they would enjoy bingo. My friend Sylvia will definitely want to be a part of the book club meeting and Roz’s friend Judy can’t wait to play mahjongg and bridge. She’s been playing both for years, just like Roz,” I said.
“So we’ll meet them Tuesday night at bingo,” McGhee said.
“Just plan on the four of us stopping by to pick you girls up and we can all walk over together,” Roz said.
“No, how about this?” Why don’t the four of you drive by in your cart and let me and McGhee follow you to the Recreation Center in our new golf cart?” Ida said with a huge smile on her face.
Chapter 25
The Rooster from Hell
The Key West Airport is very convenient and so small. The flight path for jets coming into the airport lies directly over the pier where the cruise ships dock for the day. It’s hard to believe when you see those big airplanes fly over that something that big could actually land at this airport. The runway seems too short, but the jets come and go with no problem, so all is good. Judy and Sylvia had coordinated their flights so Roz and I wouldn’t have to make but one trip out to the airport to pick them up. Their flights actually arrived only thirty minutes apart.
Sylvia was the first to arrive from Atlanta. What a pleasure to see her again. She has to be the happiest, most positive person I’ve ever known. She certainly has brightened my life over the thirty years we’ve been friends. We met when our families lived in a small town in Ohio where our husbands worked for the same company. We attended the same church and I knew from the moment I met her I wanted her for a friend. Sylvia’s daughter, Lilly, is a little older than my daughter Kathy, so we had a lot of activities with the church and school system where our paths crossed. Together, Sylvia and I had started a book club, a women’s investment club, and a Bunco club. We had also experienced some very sad times together. Sylvia’s husband, Howard, passed away from cancer at a relatively young age. She was certainly there for me and Roz when we lost our husbands.
Sylvia is of average height with generous hips, just like me, Roz, and Judy. It seems between the four of us, we were always dieting. I think the strangest diet Sylvia and I tried was the mushroom tea diet. Nastiest looking thing you ever saw. You had to grow this awful looking mushroom in a bowl of water, and then make tea from it. Needless to say, that didn’t last very long for either of us. A constant smile, wonderful new stories, and fabulous cooking are all traits that Sylvia has and her friends cherish.
As Sylvia walked toward us, I could see she had dressed in a pair of bright yellow Capris and a short sleeved white blouse. A purple summer scarf was wrapped a couple times around her neck. She had on a pair of sandals that looked so comfortable I wanted to take them off her feet and wear them myself.
“Sylvia, you look fantastic! How was your flight?” I asked as we gave each other a big hug.
“My flight was just fine. Only problem I had was with the flight attendant. She saw I had registered as “hearing impaired” and insisted on talking super loud to me and using sign language at the same time. I told her again and again, I could hear almost everything with my hearing aids, and only needed to ask for help with instructions once in a while. Her parting words were signed to me and mouthed very loudly, “THANK YOU FOR FLYING WITH US!” Just about knocked me over.”
“Sounds like the airline was watching out for you,” I said.
“They were, but I just wanted to grab her hands and tell her to stop screaming at me.”
“We’re so glad you’re here. Judy arrives in a few minutes,” Roz said as she hugged Sylvia.
“I’ve looked forward to this week with you three girls ever since I booked my flight.”
“Damn, I will never get on a small plane like that again,” shouted Judy as she walked up to us.
Judy was a presence. She always looked so confident and upbeat, and this was evident in her jean skirt and matching jacket. She also had on very chic leather ankle boots with a large handbag to match.
“Judy, where did you come from? We missed seeing you come through the arrival gate,” Roz said as she gave Judy a big hug.
“I saw you three over here and you were saying your hellos to Sylvia. How are you, Sylvia? We haven’t seen each other for years! It’s been a little while since we did our last “girl’s trip.” We’re well overdue, don’t you think?” Judy said as she hugged Sylvia.
“Was there a problem with your flight?” Roz asked.
“Not really. Actually, my first flight from Pittsburgh to Ft. Lauderdale was fine. It was the flight from there to Key West that had me going. When I walked out of the jet way onto the tarmac and saw the airplane I was supposed to get into, my heart almost stopped. Shit! I bet it would hold no more than a dozen people. After the six of us had gotten on and settled down, the Captain came out of the cockpit and announced that we needed to move to the back of the plane to even out the load! What the hell is that supposed to mean? My confidence level tanked at that point. The Captain did have a sense of humor when he added that not only did we have an aisle seat, but we had a window seat as well. That plane had a single seat on either side of the aisle, and I actually had to duck to get on board. Good Lord, I’m just happy to be here!”
We got Sylvia and Judy’s luggage from the baggage claim area. Everything arrived on time. Without any hesitation, we all decided to go into Key West to a wonderful restaurant called Café at the Top of the Stairs. Roz and I had been going to this little café at least once a month since we’d moved to Pelican Key. The conch chowder was world renowned, not to mention they had the best Key lime pie in Florida. After catching up with the lives of all our children and grandchildren, we got down to planning our week. One thing I wanted to do was go to a day spa for a massage. I had never had a massage before and thought it was about time I experienced one. The other girls had all had massages over the years. I guess my back surgeries had kept me away. Roz told me I’d be in good hands with a registered masseuse, and shouldn’t worry about getting into any problems with my back. Now that the four of us were together, my rogue gene kicked in again, and I knew if I didn’t get the massage now, I never would.
“How far is the marker for the Southern Most Point of the US from here?” Sylvia asked.
“About three blocks. It’s still daylight out. Would you like to go over there to get your picture made by the marker?” I asked.
“Let’s do it. I told Lilly I’d get a picture by the marker and text it to her.”
Dinner had been perfect, and after paying our check, we got into our car and drove into the Truman Annex area of downtown Key West. This is a lovely area that started out as Command Headquarters during the Spanish American War, and was still operational during WWI and WWII. It was originally part of Fort Zachary Taylor and became a Naval Station in 1947. In fact, President Truman’s summer residence, The Little White House, is located very near the marker. There’s always a crowd at the marker taking pictures of each other. Just across the street is mile marker “O” for Route 1 which seems to draw almost as large a crowd for picture taking as well. Sylvia and I had gotten ourselves positioned in front of the mile marker sign when I heard some rustling in a nearby bush. About that time, a rooster ran out from behind the bush and went straight for Sylvia’s ankles. There are roosters and chickens that roam free all over Key West. This rooster definitely had it out for Sylvia’s sandals. We were both “shooing” and yelling and trying to get away from the rooster, but to no avail. Sylvia was yelling bloody murder at the fowl and kicking her feet furiously. Finally, she reached into her big zebra stripped tote bag and pulled out a canister of pepper spray. That rooster didn’t know what hit it. He started running around in circles making horrible noises. I hoped Sylvia hadn’t killed the bird because Key West is very specific about not harming any kind of poultry
in its city limits.
“What’s wrong with that rooster? Oh my God, he’s the rooster from hell!” Sylvia shouted.
“I’m not sure, but I think maybe we need to move on. Let’s get our picture at the southern most point marker another day,” I said as I grabbed Sylvia’s arm and pulled her toward the car. I looked over my shoulder and saw the rooster scoot back under the bush. Heaven help the next tourist that stood there. That rooster was mad as hell when he attacked Sylvia. What would he be like now that he had a beak full of pepper spray?
Judy and Roz were laughing hysterically. They’d seen the whole thing.
“We haven’t been here but a few hours and already I’ve got a great story to tell everyone back home,” Judy howled.
Chapter 26
Did Somebody Say Duct Tape?
Once we had gotten settled in with a cup of hot tea, the four of us shared memories of our “girls’ trips” from the past. Max was a hit with Sylvia and Judy. Sylvia especially seemed taken with him.
“Sylvia, you need to get a dog. They’re such wonderful company. And with all the walking they need, you’ll stay active,” I said.
“Joanie, don’t you remember my little Jack Russell Terrier, Bonnie?” Sylvia asked.
“Oh yes, I remember Bonnie. She lived to a ripe old age, didn’t she?” I said.
“Yes, but barely. Towards the end of her life, she was basically blind and deaf. I can’t tell you how many times that little dog almost bit the dust. Lilly accidently ran over her with her car. One evening I let her out before going to bed, got distracted with a phone call, and left her out there all night. She was at the kitchen door the next morning whining and shivering. I think the worst thing I ever did to her was the time she had gone upstairs and I could hear her whining somewhere up there. She’d started the habit of wanting me to carry her down the stairs. She could make it up, but for some reason wanted a ride down. I knew calling her was hopeless, and I didn’t want to go upstairs. I figured she’d come down eventually. Her whining went on for awhile. She finally got on my last nerve, so I went upstairs to find her and she was in Lilly’s room, in a corner, with a potato chip bag over her head! She had gone in there and found the bag with her superior nose, then proceeded to put her head in the bag to get that last chip. Only problem was because she was blind and deaf, she couldn’t figure out how to back out of the bag. I thought right then I didn’t deserve to have another pet. When she did die, and amazingly enough it was of natural causes, I had her cremated. I still had Howard’s ashes up in my bedroom closet so I was seriously considering pouring Bonnie’s ashes in with his, but had second thoughts when I remembered how much Howard detested little Bonnie. Just didn’t seem fair,” Sylvia said to our howls of laughter.
