by JB Bonds
“From the note you got, it sounds like he’s giving up tampering with your clothesline,” Roz said.
“We sure hope so. This whole thing has put a dark cloud over us since we got here. We love living in Rainbow’s End and have made some good friends already,” McGhee said.
“Well, let’s hope this is the end of all this crazy clothesline mess. Are you two ladies going to be able to join us for dinner Thursday evening?” I asked.
“Yes, ma’am, we’ll be there, and we look forward to it. I insist me and McGhee bring something to add to the meal,” Ida said.
“How about you bring a side dish of some kind? We’re fixing pork tenderloin on the grill,”I said.
“We’ll bring our famous Black Eyed Pea Casserole. You girls are going to think you died and went to heaven when you taste this dish,” McGhee said.
Max was beginning to whine by their front door, so we knew it was time to move on. We walked up to the end of Palm Street and turned right to go down the Inner Perimeter Road. Just after we turned the corner, we almost got run over by Herb on his three-wheeler. He had his megaphone in hand and was announcing bingo for the following night. He pulled over to the curb to talk to us.
“Hello, ladies. Are we going to see you at bingo tomorrow night?” Herb asked.
“We’ll be there or be square, right, Herb?” Roz said.
“You’ve got it! And who might these lovely ladies be?” Herb asked.
I did the introductions and said, “They’ll be with us for the week.”
“Any news on the burglar?” I asked.
“Burglar?” Can anything else happen in this small community? This is bizarre!” Judy said rather loudly.
“We’ve had some break-ins over the past few weeks. Nothing big stolen, just some small electronics equipment, a bike or two, and a GPS. Our security guard says it’s been quiet over the last couple of days and he hasn’t seen anything suspicious. The local police aren’t really communicating with me at all. They have their hands full with bigger problems, I guess. See you girls tomorrow night.” Herb pedaled down Palm Street, megaphone blaring.
“I’ve always thought life in a retirement community would be a lot different than this,” Sylvia said.
“Up until about two months ago, life here was very quiet, but overnight it seems, all hell broke loose,” Roz said.
Chapter 29
Burton’s Story
By the time we got back home, did some work on the computer, took showers, and agonized over what we would wear to Burton’s for cocktails, it was 4:30. We put Max in his kennel and got in the golf cart. We had all decided to wear the brightest outfits and biggest jewelry we had because we knew Burton would love it. After a quick spin around Rainbow’s End to show Sylvia and Judy the hot spots, we drove up to Burton’s RV. We knew he was expecting us because he’d lined his entire walkway with pinwheels and added hot pink streamers around his awning. All of this set a very festive mood, and Sylvia and Judy were entranced. As we approached the door we could hear music blaring. Burton met us at the door singing “Bye, Bye, Birdie.”
“Sweethearts! Come in. You’re so punctual, not to mention you all look stunning!” Burton ushered us inside.
Tied around Burton’s head was a turban that was nothing short of spectacular. He had added three peacock feathers at the back and to match the feathers he had on a satin jumpsuit with aquamarine and deep purple stripes. To top off the outfit, he had on beautiful four inch wedge sandals that made him six foot four at least. His blond ponytail was pulled to the side and came out of his turban to fall over his left shoulder. Peeping out of his hair were peacock feather earrings. Burton had gone all out today.
“Are we too early, Burton?” Roz asked.
“No, no, no, I’m totally ready for you all, and I have a surprise!” Burton sang. He walked down the short hallway to a back bedroom and came back out with an armload of beautiful dresses.
“Since I’ve lost so much weight I have some things that just don’t look very good on me anymore, and I thought we might have fun trying these things on. If they fit, they’re yours!” Burton gushed with a huge smile on his face.
Sylvia and Judy hadn’t said a word since coming in the door, which is unusual for them, but when they saw the dresses, they both seemed to find their voices again.
“What size are we talking about?” Sylvia said.
“Honey, there are three or four different sizes in here. I swell up and deflate all the time. My closets won’t hold any more clothes. They may need a few alterations, but designer gowns they are! Let’s go to the kitchen and get our first margarita for the evening so we can start our fashion show.”
Two hours later, after many dress changes and moments of unabashed fun and hilarity, Burton’s mood noticeably changed. He turned very somber and quiet; he wasn’t laughing as much, and he seemed anxious about something.
“Burton, I think it’s time we left you for the evening. You seem a little tired,” Roz said.
“Oh, please, no! I’m taking your advice, Roz, and cutting back on the Caliente. My nerves have been a jangled mess, and you’re right, I need to stop losing weight. I decided this morning to cut back a bit. Let’s get another round of margaritas and let me tell you a little story.” Burton gave a weak smile.
The four of us found seats in the living room while Burton made the drinks. Sylvia and Judy were giving me and Roz high signs that we probably needed to go, but something told me we needed to listen to Burton. He came into the living room and settled onto a beautiful orange shag butterfly chair, retro 60’s.
“Sweethearts, I want to tell you how I got to Pelican Key. You two sisters have been wonderful to me and I count you as dear, dear friends, and Sylvia and Judy, I feel like I’ve known you two my whole life. I can see why the four of you have been friends for so long.
“Where to begin; I haven’t told you this, but I was born a twin. My brother Benjamin and I grew up in upstate New York with our parents, and had lovely, uneventful childhoods. From a very young age, it was obvious that Benjamin and I were destined for New York City. I can’t tell you how many hours he and I spent in front of the stereo and television absorbing every Broadway musical we could find. Benjamin’s interest was in dance, mine singing. We actually wrote a little musical when we were around ten, and performed it for our parents and some of the neighbors. When we heard that applause, we were hooked.” Burton looked at the four of us a little tentatively, and could see he had our full attention.
“Fast forward to our senior year in high school and many plays later; Ben and I were determined to go to New York and find our fame. Our parents fully supported us, and honestly, I think they thought we’d be back home in a few months. But that was not the case. Ben and I were so fortunate right from the beginning. We had both started dance and voice classes in downtown Manhattan, and while at one of our lessons, a choreographer from Bye Bye Birdie happened to be in the room. He zeroed in on Ben and me. Long story short, we got small parts in the Broadway production of Birdie. From there, our careers continued to soar.” Burton shifted in his seat, stopped talking for a moment, but then began again.
“We both joined road companies, Ben with Cabaret and me with Mame, so we didn’t see each other but a few times a year. During that time, we bought a studio apartment in downtown Manhattan, and that served as home base. Just knowing I had a place to come home to meant the world to me. Eventually, Ben was based in New York City working as a choreographer for many big Broadway musicals. I continued to be on the road for a decade at least. The 1980’s were upon us and so was AIDS. That’s where my story takes an ugly nosedive.” Roz and I looked at each other with a questioning glance while Sylvia and Judy were glued to Burton’s every word.
“Benjamin got very sick and within a year passed away from AIDS. That was 1986. I lost not only my twin brother, but three other very good friends to that horr
ible disease. My mom never recovered from her grief over losing Benjamin and died a couple of years later, and Dad followed only a year after that.” Burton looked grief stricken and his voice had gotten so quiet we found ourselves leaning forward in order to hear.
“Talk about feeling alone in the world. I was struggling emotionally and physically. I decided to sell our little studio apartment and with the proceeds from that, a generous insurance policy with me as beneficiary from Ben, Mom, and Dad, and the money I was able to save over the years, I had enough money to buy an RV and have a great nest egg. I hit the road because I had to get out of New York City. This was around 1990. Girls, can I get you a fresh drink?”
“I don’t believe I need another? How about you all?” I asked as I looked to the girls. Roz, Sylvia, and Judy said they were fine, and I told Burton to please continue his story.
“I traveled all over the United States, working at playhouses and summer festivals and teaching voice. I finally settled in Florida because being on the road was becoming a real drudge for me. I sold my RV and bought a beautiful studio apartment on the beach. I was in Miami for fifteen years when I had an offer I couldn’t refuse for my apartment. Art deco had taken over in South Beach and my apartment became one of the most sought after buildings on the beach. I made a killing, so I sold and bought this beauty of an RV.” Burton’s voice was now back to its normal volume, and he was starting to fidget as he raced to finish talking.
“I’d heard about Pelican Key from some of my Miami friends. The rest is history. I’ve been here for a couple of years. Now, about my love life.” We all gasped and let out little yelps because we had no idea where this was going.
“I have to admit that before I lost Benjamin, I was pretty reckless. I haven’t had sex for a while. Don’t look so crestfallen, girls! I’m OK with that. I know that was more than you ever wanted to know about Burton Monroe, but there you have it. It’s time for you dear ladies to go. I’m totally and completely spent.” Burton moved to the front door.
After sharing hugs with Burton, we left his RV with new dresses and some melancholy.
“I think it was good that Burton shared his life story with us tonight,” Roz said as we got into the golf cart.
“Burton is a very special person and I count myself lucky to have met him,” Sylvia said.
“Me, too.” He’s a wonderful, caring man,” Judy said.
We piled our designer dresses all around us in the cart and went home. Roz and Judy took Max for a walk while Sylvia and I showered. We were all a little quieter as we rehashed Burton’s story in our minds.
Chapter 30
I Need To Spice Up My Life A Little Bit
On Tuesday, the four of us decided on some shopping in Key West. We needed to be back at Rainbow in time for bingo and bridge. Judy was especially excited about the opportunity to win a little money, and possibly a set of the chili pepper lights. She hadn’t seen any of these lights in Pittsburgh, so she wanted to be the first to have them for her deck. Before going back home, we wanted the girls to see the cruise ships down by the docks. It was almost 5:00 and we knew most of the ships left the dock area around that time so they could sail at night. To stand that close to these huge, beautiful ships was a thrill. What a party atmosphere. Most passengers gather at the rail just before setting sail, drinks in hand, and cheer and clap as passengers rush back onboard from their afternoon in Key West. Some passengers barely make it by the 5:00 departure time, and could be seen running toward the ship, which incites raucous cheers and encouragement from their shipmates. The four of us decided right then and there we had to go on a cruise together.
We stopped by the Fish Hut for some fish tacos on our way home and barely made it to bingo at 7:00. Everyone was already at our table when we entered the Recreation Center. Burton had pulled up two additional chairs for Sylvia and Judy. He looked our way as we walked into the room and gave us a little wink. Joe, Bea, and Lois were deciding what we were going to privately bet on for the night. When Sylvia and Judy found out about the side betting, they wanted in on the fun. We had just gotten settled at the table with our glasses of wine when Flo arrived at our table.
“Good evening everyone!” Flo chirped. “Is there room for one more?”
Flo looked to be decades younger than everyone else in the room. If it was possible, she actually seemed to look even more gorgeous each time we saw her. We pulled in another chair and Flo squeezed in between Burton and Lois.
“Flo, Roz and I would like to introduce our dear friends, Sylvia and Judy. They’re visiting us for a week or so,” I said.
“Why haven’t you brought these beautiful ladies over to meet me?”
Flo honestly looked surprised that she was just now meeting the girls. “Let’s talk after bingo about having coffee tomorrow morning,” she said.
Judy skunked us all in bingo. Not only did she win the chili pepper lights, she won two more bingo games and two of the private bets our table had made. As we were leaving the Center, Flo stopped us and set up arrangements for coffee the next morning. Burton was nowhere to be seen.
“Why don’t you girls come over around 10:00?” Flo said.
“We were going to do aerobics in the morning at 9:00, so maybe a little after 10:00 would work for us.”
“You girls are so good about your exercise. I can’t drag myself out of bed before 9:00,” Flo said.
“I don’t know what you’re doing to stay in shape, but I wish you’d share your secret,” Sylvia said.
“Oh, I have a secret all right, and I’ll be glad to tell you tomorrow morning,” Flo said as she got into her car.
“She has a secret and I’m betting it’s not that she’s taking Virgil’s elixir. She says that’s what it is, but things don’t add up. She does look incredibly good for a woman in her mid-60’s,” Roz said.
“Mid-60’s! Are you shitting me? If she’s in her 60’s, I’m in my 40’s. She can’t be a day over 50,” Judy said as we walked to our golf cart.
“That’s what Roz and I think. She’s also not displaying the anxiety, sleeplessness, and loss of appetite we’re seeing in our friends who are taking the elixir,” I said.
After a late night gab fest and wine, we found it difficult to get up and to the pool the next morning, but we did. Judy decided maybe she needed a bottle of the elixir when she saw how over the top some of the people were acting at water aerobics. We got to Flo’s around 10:15. She answered the door in a midnight blue lounge dress and looked spectacular, and here were the four of us with our wet heads and shapeless cover-ups.
“Come into the kitchen, girls. I have some New Orleans Café Du Monde coffee with chicory brewed for you ladies.” Flo led the way into her kitchen.
“Is Virgil here?” Roz asked.
“No, he left early this morning. He had errands to run.”
“He is one busy man. We see him coming and going all day and night,” I said.
“To be retired, he is busy, but he loves being an ambassador for Caliente Honey and bringing it to people who can benefit from it the most.”
“Tell us about this elixir,” Sylvia said.
“Virgil and I found out about it five years ago from a pharmaceutical rep Virgil met at a conference. After only about a week of using Caliente, we could already see such improvement in our energy levels and memory. As for me, my complexion just blossomed and cleared.”
“I have to say you do have a beautiful complexion,” Judy said.
“I owe it all to Caliente. We decided we shouldn’t be the only seniors in America to be benefiting from this miracle elixir, so we bought into the company that produces it in South America, and the rest is history.” Flo daintily sipped her coffee.
“How come there isn’t more publicity about Caliente Honey if it’s such a miracle drug?” Sylvia asked.
“Oh, the supply is so limited. Virgil has problems gettin
g it sometimes, so he doesn’t want to publicize other than by word of mouth. He wants his faithful customers to get their supplies first,” Flo said with a smile.
“How thoughtful,” Roz said as she finished her coffee.
“Would either of you be interested in a bottle of the Caliente? You won’t be able to find it anywhere else once you leave Rainbow’s End.”
I kicked Sylvia under the table. She kicked Judy in turn.
“Oh, no, we’ll pass it up this time around. I would definitely have to talk with my doctor about using the elixir because I’m on a regimen of drugs for my heart,” Sylvia said.
“And I want to think about it a little longer,” Judy chimed in.
We left Flo to her chicory coffee and went back home.
“Sylvia, I didn’t know you were having heart problems,” Roz said with concern.
“I don’t have heart problems, but I had to come up with a good reason to pass up buying that stuff. She’s some saleswoman!”
We spent our day buying groceries for our Thursday night dinner with Ida and McGhee, and took Max to the groomer. I finished up my book club read for tonight’s meeting. While Judy and Roz went into Marathon Key to do a little exploring, Sylvia and I took a ride in the golf cart to see Joe. I wanted to talk to him about what he’d been able to find out about the Hammonds, and if he had any idea about when the results of the testing on the Caliente sample would arrive. Joe was out by his dock, working on his deck boat.
“Joe, your boat looks great,” I said as Sylvia and I walked down the dock.
“Afternoon, ladies. Just a lot of water and wet seats. It’s dried out now.” Joe motioned for us to make ourselves comfortable.
“Have you been able to find out anything about the Hammonds?” I asked.
“Not a lot, which seems strange. Nowadays, with this age of computers and social media, very few people can hide. But so far, information on our Virgil and Florence Hammond isn’t coming up. Oh, I’ve found other Hammonds but not our Hammonds. They don’t seem to have a past.”
