by JB Bonds
Sure enough, there on the inside of her right ankle was a tattoo. It wasn’t just any kind of tattoo. It was a bright yellow cartoon character shaped like a block of cheese that had big eyes, buck teeth, and was wearing pants and shoes. Then I looked at my ankle and sat down hard on another kitchen chair. Roz and Judy joined us.
“I know what this is. My grandkids watch this cartoon all the time. He’s SpongeBob SquarePants!” Sylvia whined.
“He’s a sponge and not a block of cheese?” Roz asked as she tried to get her ankle as close to her face as possible. She was working her trifocals to their max trying to bring the tattoo into better focus.
“I know we talked about getting a little discreet tattoo, but this? What were we thinking? Sylvia asked.
“We must have thought this symbolized our friendship in some way, but don’t ask me how,” Roz said, trying not to laugh.
“Did we have to get this tattoo in such bright colors?” Judy said, holding her head.
“Well, girls, we’ll have a story to tell in the old folks’ home when they see this tattoo on my eighty year old ankle,” I said.
“You’re right, Joanie, and our kids are going to have a field day about this since we’ve given them so much grief about getting tattoos. Let’s just hope and pray we make it to eighty and can still remember why the thing is there,” Sylvia said.
We found a note on our kitchen table from McGhee and Ida saying they’d keep Max until later today. Since we hadn’t returned from Key West by 10:00 p.m. the night before, and they were ready to go to bed, they were more than happy to fix a spot for Max to sleep. The four of us were moving very slowly, but knew we had to keep pushing forward because Sylvia and Judy both had flights out of Key West around 2:00 p.m. Every time I looked down at my ankle, I had to smile. Maybe SpongeBob SquarePants wasn’t such a bad idea after all. In some strange way, it made perfect sense.
Roz was researching the care of a fresh tattoo. We were too out of it to get instructions the night before. In fact, I was questioning the professionalism of the tattoo artist for going along with our desire for tattoos. Obviously, we weren’t in our right minds. I was almost positive Sylvia had convinced the artist we were positively sure we knew what we were doing. What a story he had to tell in the parlor today.
Before Sylvia and Judy departed, we had sworn to one another we would get together next April for two weeks and talk about booking a cruise. Roz and I hated to see the girls leave, but they both had responsibilities back home.
Chapter 33
I’m Getting Married
Around 2:00 p.m., Roz and I returned from the airport and had stopped by McGhee and Ida’s to pick up Max. He had settled into a nice routine with them. In fact, they were seriously considering getting a pup of their own for security reasons as well as good companionship. We had heard no news about the attempted burglary at Lois’s, which was disconcerting.
Palm Sunday was upon us, with Easter Sunday the following week. Between Rainbow activities and some volunteering by Roz and me at the church, we had almost forgotten about the community Easter Parade. Roz and I had stopped by the Country Store one day, and Herb reminded us the parade would be that Saturday afternoon. We had work to do on our golf cart. He also expressed some concerns because of a conversation he’d overheard at the store earlier in the week. A group of six residents had stopped in to buy beer and sodas. They were being totally obnoxious when he heard one of the women say she couldn’t wait to be in the Easter Parade since their little group had come up with something new to spice it up. This particular group were good customers of Virgil’s, and rumor had it they were doing a lot of partying, to the point neighbors had called Herb asking him to talk to them because of the noise.
Herb asked, “Have your friends gone now?”
“Yes, they left Saturday, but now two of our grandkids are due to arrive in a couple of weeks for a little visit,” Roz said.
“Oh, which ones?”
“My granddaughter, Kendall, and Joanie’s grandson, Kody. Kody hasn’t been down by himself before, but Joanie’s son Kent thinks he’s old enough to fly.”
“He’ll be fine. Children fly alone all the time,” Herb said.
“By the way, do you have an extra bicycle I could borrow for Kody while he’s visiting?” I asked.
“Sure, he can use my two wheeler. I’ve gotten so used to riding my three wheel bike I rarely get on the other one.”
“Thanks. That will give Kody something to do when he gets bored.”
“We’re going to take the kids to swim with the dolphins one day, and we’re planning a picnic lunch at the nature preserve near Marathon Key. I’m hopeful Burton will be able to use Kendall in some way to help with the talent show. She has a beautiful voice. I want Burton to hear her sing while she’s here,” Roz said.
“Why don’t you make reservations for a schooner sail out of Key West one day?” Herb suggested.
“Perfect! I’ll look into that today,” Roz said.
We left Herb busily stocking shelves and went by the pool for a quick dip. We hadn’t gotten to aqua aerobics as many times as we’d hoped while the girls were visiting. We wanted to get to class more often in the coming weeks. Morty was there lounging by the pool with none other than Lois. We stopped by to say hello and pulled up a couple of loungers to join them.
“Is it OK if we put our things next to you two while we get in the pool?” Roz asked.
“That’s fine. I’m leaving, but Lois wants to do laps in a few minutes,” Morty said as he gathered his things and went into the shower area.
“Lois, it looks like you and Morty are getting along just fine since the cat episode,” I said.
“Morty is an OK guy. I have to tell you two girls, I’ve made a decision. Since that hoodlum tried to break into my house, I’ve decided to get married,” Lois said with a curt nod to her head.
“Oh, wow! Who are you marrying? Is Morty a possibility?” Roz asked.
“Yes, indeed, he sure is. I think he’s ready to settle down now. He’s been sowing a lot of wild oats since he came to Rainbow, and I think he’s decided it’s time to nip that in the bud. Kind of hard for me to believe he’d give up his wandering eye, but we’ve been talking about tying the knot, and he’s all for it.”
“What about your cats? He’s so allergic to them,” I asked.
“I guess I’ll have to find good homes for all of them. Morty is more than welcome to move in with me, if we decide to get married. I have a lot of friends at my church who would like to have the cats. That won’t be a problem.”
“What will Morty do with his place?” Roz asked.
“He’ll rent it out. It’ll be a little extra income for us.”
“It sounds like you and Morty have this whole thing figured out,” I said.
“I think so. Now that I’ve talked to you two, I feel more sure about it than ever.”
Lois got up from her lounger and lowered herself into the pool to swim. Roz and I just looked at each other. What was there to say? It looked like we’d be attending a wedding for the first time in Pelican Key.
Chapter 34
All But Naked Rabbits
Roz and I went home to start working on decorations to put on our golf cart for Saturday’s parade. Roz was so good with this type of thing, I usually just sat back and watched her create, but when she pulled rabbit ears out of her tote, I was a little taken aback.
“Come on, Joanie. You’re going to look great in these bunny ears. Besides, we need to be a part of the theme of the decorations I have planned,” Roz said.
“And what decorations would that be?”
“I’m going to make our golf cart look like a giant rabbit!”
“I have to admit, that is clever, Roz.”
“I knew you’d like it,” Roz said with a big smile.
In no time, Roz had made so
me giant rabbit ears out of clothes hangers she had covered with the lining of an old raincoat she had found in the back of her closet. She made a big round cottontail by wrapping an old white, fuzzy bathroom rug around a small soccer ball she’d bought at Target. She attached the ears to the canvas top of the golf cart, and the tail between the brake lights on the rear. To top the whole effect off, she made two huge buck teeth, a black nose, and eyes out of paper plates she had colored in with markers, and attached them to the front. We attached our bunny ears to the outside of our hats. We were going to win a prize for sure.
The temperature was in the mid-80’s all week, and the Saturday before Easter promised to be just as hot. Roz and I dressed in our lightweight crop pants and sleeveless shells for the Rainbow’s End Annual Easter Parade. We were to meet at the end of Palm Street at 2:00 p.m. where the parade was to begin. Along the way, we picked up Lois to ride along with us in our cart. Roz had made her a pair of bunny ears, and Lois put them on without the slightest hesitation, like she wore them every day. Lois was a good egg, always willing to go along and join in the fun. We stopped by McGhee and Ida’s and found that Bea and Alberta were already there. They were going to ride along in their golf cart. Ida had told us she was going to pull out all the stops for her decorations since this was the first parade they got to drive in.
As we pulled up alongside the four ladies in Ida’s cart, it was hard to take it all in. Ida had clipped bright green indoor-outdoor carpet to the canvas top, hood and seats of the golf cart. Sitting on the top of the cart was a huge basket filled with plastic Easter eggs. All of the ladies had on gorgeous Easter hats. Where they had gotten them, I could only guess. Roz, Lois, and I couldn’t resist clapping and cheering as we pulled up next to them.
We only had to wait about ten minutes before Herb came into view with his boombox blaring “The Easter Parade.” He was wearing a top hat with his shorts, t-shirt, and flip-flops. Our two carts pulled in behind him, and we were off. As we passed street after street, more residents fell in behind us. Some were on foot waving flags, some on bicycles or in golf carts. Bonnie Bennett had announced at last week’s bingo that she would have a picnic set out at the Recreation Center after the parade, and for those who wanted to bring dishes to share, to please do so. I had made deviled eggs, which Roz and I thought very apropos for the holiday. After completing about half of the circuit around Rainbow, we came up to Burton’s street. To our surprise, he didn’t join the parade. This was a first. Last year he had dressed in a Playboy Bunny outfit and handed out Easter candy to everyone. Roz and I made a note to check on him later that day. Off to the side, we saw some commotion. To our amazement, the group that had been in the Country Store bragging about a surprise for the parade came out of one of the houses on Burton’s street, and they were marching in our direction. To our shock, they were all wearing bunny ears and little else. The three men in the group had on what looked like a jockstrap with a pom-pom attached to the back waist band. That and their bunny ears completed the ensemble. The three lady bunnies wore bunny ears, a thong with a cottontail at the back, and what I would call stripper pasties. Herb put on the brakes of his three-wheel so quickly he almost went over the handlebars. Roz was driving our cart, and to my amazement, she steered directly toward the group. Ida was in hot pursuit behind us, with Herb passing us all.
“Whoa, there now! Where do you think you’re going dressed like that?” Herb screamed.
The man at the front of the marching line looked Herb in the face, as best he could, and said, “Why, we’re going to the Easter parade. Could you point us in the right direction?” We could see this group had been partying for a while. I wasn’t sure what Herb could do about this, and I don’t think he knew, either. They weren’t completely naked, but close.
“Whew, it’s hot out here!” the man behind the leader slurred. “Can I get in beside you, young lady?” He slid in beside Lois.
Lois didn’t bat an eye. She turned to look at the man sitting beside her, grabbed his face with her hands, looked him square in the eyes, and said, “OK, honey, let’s get you home so you can find the rest of your Easter outfit. Roz, do you know where this fella lives?”
“I know where this fella lives,” the man said as he laid his head on Lois’s shoulder.
“And where would that be, Peter Cottontail?” Lois asked.
“212 Gulf Breeze.”
Roz took off in that direction with Ida and her passengers following behind. By now, Herb had corralled a couple of the revelers into a nearby carport, and was trying to call his security guard. The rest of the group had gone back into the house from which they’d come. I guess the parade was over. Some of the parade participants had stayed back away from the wayward group and just watched to see what would happen next. By the time we got Peter Cottontail back to his house and came back to find Herb, everyone had gone their separate ways.
“Let’s go to the Recreation Center. I bet that’s where everyone has gone,” Ida said.
“You girls go on. We’ve got to get the deviled eggs, and then we’ll be right behind you,” Roz said.
“While we’re this close to Burton’s, swing by and let’s see if he’s OK,” I said.
When we pulled onto Burton’s cement pad, I got out of the cart and knocked on his door. Everything seemed very quiet inside the RV. I knocked again, and this time, the door opened. Burton stood there looking at me as if to say, “what are you doing here, what time is it, where am I?”
“Burton, are you OK? You missed the parade and we know how much you love them,” I said.
“What parade?”
“The Rainbow Easter Parade.”
“Is today Saturday?”
“Yes. Are you OK?”
“I guess I slept in this morning. That’s so strange for me these days. Usually I can’t sleep any more than three or four hours a night. I feel positively drugged! Thanks for waking me. I have to get to the Center to work on some songs with a couple of people. I’ll see you ladies later.”
Burton closed the door and I went back to the golf cart. The ladies had heard the whole conversation and looked as perplexed as I did.
“Something bad is going to come from all of this. Our bodies weren’t made to be on roller coaster rides like Burton is experiencing these days,” Roz said.
Chapter 35
Serious as a Heart Attack!
The picnic was sparsely attended and didn’t last long, which was a disappointment. Before leaving the Center, we talked to McGhee, Ida, Bea, Alberta, and Lois and decided today was perfect for a light dinner down by the water. After making our food plans, we all went our separate ways and agreed to meet down by the Gulf around 5:00 p.m. On our way out of the Center, we saw Joe and invited him to join us. He said he would be there. There was a strong breeze but it hadn’t cooled down the air at all. Living in Florida meant you went from air conditioner to air conditioner or you suffered terribly. Even though Roz and I enjoyed the warmer weather in Florida, the humidity was killer at times.
Roz and I put together some sandwiches and a plastic bowl of fruit salad to contribute. We got down to the loungers first because we wanted to be sure there would be enough seating for everyone. In fact, we had brought our two portable folding chairs and asked the other ladies to do the same. Thankfully, the breeze was wonderful off the water and it felt ten degrees cooler under the umbrellas. Joe showed up just after we had set out our food and chairs. Inside a duffel bag, he pulled out a six pack of wine coolers and some potato chips.
“Joe, have you been able to find out anything about the Hammonds?” I asked.
“My buddy is doing some checking on their license plate number. He was supposed to have called me back a couple of days ago, but I haven’t heard from him. I figure he’s with family for Easter. I’ll call him Monday, and I haven’t gotten a report back about the elixir sample I sent in, either.”
“So, we’re no
further along finding out anything than we were before.”
“I wouldn’t say that. Just the fact that we’re curious and starting to dig for information is a good start. I feel like there’s something going on here that needs to be checked out. There is something I do want to share with you ladies. I followed Virgil one day last week. I was at the post office and he came in to mail three or four big boxes. I hung around in my car and waited for him to come out; then I followed him. He went into Key West, parked his car, and walked over to the docks where the cruise ships were coming in. As passengers filed off the ship, I could tell he was watching for somebody. Sure enough, a young guy came over to Virgil and they walked over to a little bar near the docks. They got a table in the back and ordered something. This kid had a backpack with him that he sat on the chair by Virgil. I decided to get a drink myself and sat back out of the way so Virgil couldn’t see me. They couldn’t have been there any more than ten minutes before the kid got up from his chair and walked out of the bar, leaving his backpack on the floor. Virgil acted like he was trying to get his attention about the forgotten backpack, but failed to get the kid to turn around. So, Virgil picked up the pack and walked out of the bar. I followed him and saw him get into his car and drive away, backpack and all. That rendezvous alone has alarm bells going off in my head you wouldn’t believe!” Joe exclaimed.
