Paul Clifford

by Edward Bulwer-Lytton

  ‘I must stay for this ball, Lucy,’ said Brandon, who, after spending the day with Lord Mauleverer, returned home in a mood more than usually cheerful. ‘I must stay for this one ball, Lucy, and witness your complete triumph, even though it will be necessary to leave you the very next morning.’

  ‘So soon!’ cried Lucy.

  ‘So soon!’ echoed the uncle with a smile. ‘How good you are to speak thus to an old valetudinarian, whose company must have fatigued you to death! Nay, no pretty denials! But the great object of my visit to this place is accomplished: I have seen you, I have witnessed your début in the great world, with, I may say, more than a father’s exultation, and I go back to my dry pursuits with the satisfaction of thinking our old and withered genealogical tree has put forth one blossom worthy of its freshest day.’

  ‘Uncle!’ said Lucy, reprovingly, and holding up her taper finger with an arch smile, mingling with a blush, in which the woman’s vanity spoke, unknown to herself.

  ‘And why that look, Lucy?’ said Brandon.

  ‘Because – because – well, no matter! You have been bred to that trade in which, as you say yourself, men tell untruths for others, till they lose all truth for themselves. But, let us talk of you, not me; are you really well enough to leave us?’

  Simple and even cool as the words of Lucy’s question, when written, appear; in her mouth they took so tender, so anxious a tone, that Brandon, who had no friend, nor wife, nor child, nor anyone in his household, in whom interest in his health or welfare was a thing of course, and who was consequently wholly unaccustomed to the accent of kindness, felt himself of a sudden touched and stricken.

  ‘Why, indeed, Lucy,’ said he, in a less artificial voice than that in which he usually spoke, ‘I should like still to profit by your cares, and forget my infirmities and pains in your society; but I cannot: the tide of events, like that of nature, waits not our pleasure!’

  ‘But we may take our own time for setting sail!’ said Lucy.

  ‘Ay, this comes of talking in metaphor,’ rejoined Brandon, smiling; ‘they who begin it, always get the worst of it. In plain words, dear Lucy, I can give no more time to my own ailments. A lawyer cannot play truant in term time without –’

  ‘Losing a few guineas!’ said Lucy, interrupting him.

  ‘Worse than that – his practice and his name!’

  ‘Better those than health and peace of mind.’

  ‘Out on you – no!’ said Brandon, quickly, and almost fiercely. ‘We waste all the greenness and pith of our life in striving to gain a distinguished slavery; and when it is gained, we must not think that an humble independence would have been better! If we ever admit that thought, what fools – what lavish fools we have been! – No!’ continued Brandon, after a momentary pause, and in a tone milder and gayer, though not less characteristic of the man’s stubbornness of will – ‘after losing all youth’s enjoyments and manhood’s leisure, in order that in age, the mind, the all-conquering mind, should break its way at last into the applauding opinions of men, I should be an effeminate idler indeed, did I suffer, – so long as its jarring parts hold together, or so long as I have the power to command its members, – this weak body to frustrate the labour of its better and nobler portion, and command that which it is ordained to serve.’

  Lucy knew not while she listened, half in fear, half in admiration, to her singular relation, that at the very moment he thus spoke, his disease was preying upon him in one of its most relentless moods, without the power of wringing from him a single outward token of his torture. But she wanted nothing to increase her pity and affection for a man who, in consequence, perhaps, of his ordinary surface of worldly and cold properties of temperament, never failed to leave an indelible impression on all who had ever seen that temperament broken through by deeper, though often by more evil feelings.

  ‘Shall you go to Lady —’s rout?’ asked Brandon, easily sliding back into common topics. ‘Lord Mauleverer requested me to ask you.’

  ‘That depends on you and my father!’

  ‘If on me, I answer yes!’ said Brandon. ‘I like hearing Mauleverer, especially among persons who do not understand him: there is a refined and subtle sarcasm running through the commonplaces of his conversation, which cuts the good fools, like the invisible sword in the fable, that lopped off heads, without occasioning the owners any other sensation than a pleasing and self-complacent titillation. How immeasurably superior he is in manner and address to all we meet here; does it not strike you?’

  ‘Yes – no – I can’t say that it does exactly,’ rejoined Lucy.

  ‘Is that confusion tender?’ thought Brandon.

  ‘In a word,’ continued Lucy, ‘Lord Mauleverer is one whom I think pleasing, without fascination; and amusing, without brilliancy. He is evidently accomplished in mind, and graceful in manner; and withal, the most uninteresting person I ever met.’

  ‘Women have not often thought so!’ said Brandon.

  ‘I cannot believe that they can think otherwise.’

  A certain expression, partaking of scorn, played over Brandon’s hard features. It was a noticeable trait in him, that while he was most anxious to impress Lucy with a favourable opinion of Lord Mauleverer, he was never quite able to mask a certain satisfaction at any jest at the earl’s expense, or any opinion derogatory to his general character for pleasing the opposite sex; and this satisfaction was no sooner conceived, than it was immediately combated by the vexation he felt, that Lucy did not seem to share his own desire that she should become the wife of the courtier. There appeared as if, in that respect, there was a contest in his mind between interest on one hand, and private dislike, or contempt, on the other.

  ‘You judge women wrongly!’ said Brandon. ‘Ladies never know each other; of all persons, Mauleverer is best calculated to win them, and experience has proved my assertion. The proudest lot I know of for a woman would be the thorough conquest of Lord Mauleverer; but it is impossible. He may be gallant, but he will never be subdued. He defies the whole female world, and with justice and impunity. Enough of him. Sing to me, dear Lucy.’

  The time for the ball approached, and Lucy, who was a charming girl, and had nothing of the angel about her, was sufficiently fond of gaiety, dancing, music, and admiration, to feel her heart beat high at the expectation of the event.

  At last, the day itself came. Brandon dined alone with Mauleverer, having made the arrangement that he, with the earl, was to join his brother and niece at the ball. Mauleverer, who hated state, except on great occasions, when no man displayed it with a better grace, never suffered his servants to wait at dinner when he was alone, or with one of his peculiar friends. The attendants remained without, and were summoned at will by a bell laid beside the host.

  The conversation was unrestrained.

  ‘I am perfectly certain, Brandon,’ said Mauleverer, ‘that if you were to live tolerably well, you would soon get the better of your nervous complaints. It is all poverty of blood, believe me. – Some more of the fins, eh? – No! – Oh, hang your abstemiousness, it is d—d unfriendly to eat so little! Talking of fins and friends – heaven defend me from ever again forming an intimacy with a pedantic epicure, especially if he puns!’

  ‘Why – what has a pedant to do with fins?’

  ‘I will tell you – (Ah, this Madeira!) – I suggested to Lord Dareville, who affects the gourmand, what a capital thing a dish all fins – turbot’s fins – might be made. “Capital!” said he, in a rapture, “dine on it with me tomorrow.” “Volontiers!” said I. The next day, after indulging in a pleasing reverie all the morning as to the manner in which Dareville’s cook, who is not without genius, would accomplish the grand idea, I betook myself punctually to my engagement. Would you believe it? When the cover was removed, the sacrilegious dog of an Amphitryon had put into the dish Cicero’s De Finibus. “There is a work all fins!” said he.’

  ‘Atrocious jest!’ exclaimed Brandon, solemnly.

  ‘Was it not? Whenever th
e gastronomists set up a religious inquisition, I trust they will roast every impious rascal who treats the divine mystery with levity. Pun upon cooking, indeed! À propos of Dareville, he is to come into the administration.’

  ‘You astonish me!’ said Brandon. ‘I never heard that; I don’t know him. He has very little power; has he any talent?’

  ‘Yes, a very great one, – acquired though!’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘A pretty wife!’

  ‘My lord!’ exclaimed Brandon, abruptly, and half rising from his seat.

  Mauleverer looked up hastily, and, on seeing the expression of his companion’s face, coloured deeply; there was a silence for some moments.

  ‘Tell me,’ said Brandon, indifferently, helping himself to vegetables, for he seldom touched meat; and a more amusing contrast can scarcely be conceived, than that between the earnest epicurism of Mauleverer, and the careless contempt of the sublime art manifested by his guest; – ‘tell me, you who necessarily know everything, whether the government really is settled, – whether you are to have the garter, and I – mark the difference! – the judgeship.’

  ‘Why so, I imagine, it will be arranged; viz. if you will consent to hang up the rogues, instead of living by the fools!’

  ‘One may unite both!’ returned Brandon. ‘But I believe, in general, it is vice versa, for we live by the rogues, and it is only the fools we are able to hang up. You ask me if I will take the judgeship. I would not – no, I would rather cut my hand off,’ – and the lawyer spoke with great bitterness – ‘forsake my present career, despite all the obstacles that now encumber it, did I think that this miserable body would suffer me for two years longer to pursue it.’

  ‘You shock me!’ said Mauleverer, a little affected, but nevertheless applying the cayenne to his cucumber with his unusual unerring nicety of tact; ‘you shock me, but you are considerably better than you were.’

  ‘It is not,’ continued Brandon, who was rather speaking to himself than to his friend – ‘it is not that I am unable to conquer the pain, and to master the recreant nerves; but I feel myself growing weaker and weaker beneath the continual exertion of my remaining powers, and I shall die before I have gained half my objects, if I do not leave the labours which are literally tearing me to pieces.’

  ‘But,’ said Lord Mauleverer, who was the idlest of men, ‘the judgeship is not an easy sinecure.’

  ‘No! But there is less demand on the mind in that station, than in my present one;’ and Brandon paused before he continued. ‘Candidly, Mauleverer, you do not think they will deceive me? You do not think they mean to leave me to this political death without writing Resurgam over the hatchment?’

  ‘They dare not!’ said Mauleverer, quaffing his fourth glass of Madeira.

  ‘Well! I have decided on my change of life,’ said the lawyer, with a slight sigh.

  ‘So have I on my change of opinion,’ chimed in the earl. ‘I will tell you what opinions seem to me like.’

  ‘What?’ said Brandon, abstractedly.

  ‘Trees!’ answered Mauleverer, quaintly. ‘If they can be made serviceable by standing, don’t part with a stick; but when they are of that growth that sells well, or whenever they shut out a fine prospect, cut them down, and pack them off by all manner of means! – And now for the second course.’

  ‘I wonder,’ said the earl, when our political worthies were again alone, ‘whether there ever existed a minister who cared three straws for the people – many care for their party, but as for the country –’

  ‘It is all fiddlestick!’ added the lawyer, with more significance than grace.

  ‘Right; it is all fiddlestick, as you tersely express it. King, Constitution, and Church, for ever! Which, being interpreted, means – first, King, or Crown influence, judgeships, and garters; – secondly, Constitution, or fees to the lawyer, places to the statesman, laws for the rich, and Game Laws for the poor; – thirdly, Church, or livings for our younger sons, and starvings for their curates!’

  ‘Ha, ha!’ said Brandon, laughing sardonically. ‘We know human nature!’

  ‘And how it may be gulled!’ quoth the courtier. ‘Here’s a health to your niece! And may it not be long before you hail her as your friend’s bride!’

  ‘Bride, et cetera,’ said Brandon, with a sneer, meant only for his own satisfaction. ‘But, mark me, my dear lord, do not be too sure of her – she is a singular girl, and of more independence than the generality of women. She will not think of your rank and station in estimating you; she will think only of their owner; and pardon me if I suggest to you, who know the sex so well, one plan that it may not be unadvisable for you to pursue. Don’t let her fancy you entirely hers; rouse her jealousy, pique her pride – let her think you unconquerable, and, unless she is unlike all women, she will want to conquer you.’

  The earl smiled. ‘I must take my chance!’ said he, with a confident tone.

  ‘The hoary coxcomb!’ muttered Brandon between his teeth. ‘Now will his folly spoil all.’

  ‘And that reminds me,’ continued Mauleverer, ‘that time wanes, and dinner is not over; let us not hurry, but let us be silent, to enjoy the more. These truffles in champagne – do taste them, they would raise the dead.’

  The lawyer smiled, and accepted the kindness, though he left the delicacy untouched; and Mauleverer, whose soul was in his plate, saw not the heartless rejection.

  Meanwhile, the youthful beauty had already entered the theatre of pleasure, and was now seated with the squire, at the upper end of the half-filled ball room.

  A gay lady of the fashion at that time, and of that half and half rank to which belonged the aristocracy of Bath, – one of those curious persons we meet with in the admirable novels of Miss Burney, as appertaining to the order of fine ladies, – made the trio with our heiress and her father, and pointed out to them by name the various characters that entered the apartments. She was still in the full tide of scandal, when an unusual sensation was visible in the environs of the door; three strangers of marked mien, gay dress, and an air which, though differing in each, was in all alike remarkable for a sort of ‘dashing’ assurance, made their entrée. One was of uncommon height, and possessed of an exceedingly fine head of hair; another was of a more quiet and unpretending aspect, but, nevertheless, he wore upon his face a supercilious, yet not ill-humoured expression; the third was many years younger than his companions, strikingly handsome in face and figure, altogether of a better taste in dress, and possessing a manner that, though it had equal ease, was not equally noticeable for impudence and swagger.

  ‘Who can those be?’ said Lucy’s female friend in a wondering tone. ‘I never saw them before – they must be great people – they have all the airs of persons of quality!– Dear, how odd that I should not know them!’

  While the good lady, who, like all good ladies of that stamp, thought people of quality had airs, was thus lamenting her ignorance of the new comers, a general whisper of a similar import was already circulating round the room; – ‘Who are they?’ and the universal answer was, ‘Can’t tell – never saw them before!’

  Our strangers seemed by no means displeased with the evident and immediate impression they had made. They stood in the most conspicuous part of the room, enjoying, among themselves, a low conversation, frequently broken by fits of laughter; tokens, we need not add, of their super-eminently good breeding. The handsome figure of the youngest stranger, and the simple and seemingly unconscious grace of his attitudes, were not, however, unworthy of the admiration he excited; and even his laughter, rude as it really was, displayed so dazzling a set of teeth, and was accompanied by such brilliant eyes, that before he had been ten minutes in the room, there was scarcely a young lady under thirty-nine not disposed to fall in love with him.

  Apparently heedless of the various remarks which reached their ears, our strangers, after they had from their station sufficiently surveyed the beauties of the ball, strolled arm-in-arm through the rooms. Having sauntered
through the ball and card-rooms, they passed the door that led to the entrance passage, and gazed, with other loiterers, upon the new comers ascending the stairs. Here the two younger strangers renewed their whispered conversation, while the eldest, who was also the tallest one, carelessly leaning against the wall, employed himself for a few moments in thrusting his fingers through his hair. In finishing this occupation, the peculiar state of his ruffles forced itself upon the observation of our gentleman, who, after gazing for some moments on an envious rent in the right ruffle, muttered some indistinct words, like, ‘the cock of that confounded pistol,’ and then tucked up the mutilated ornament with a peculiarly nimble motion of the fingers of his left hand: the next moment, diverted by a new care, the stranger applied his digital members to the arranging and caressing of a remarkably splendid brooch, set in the bosom of a shirt, the rude texture of which formed a singular contrast with the magnificence of the embellishment, and the fineness of the one ruffle suffered by our modern Hyperion to make its appearance beneath his cinnamon-coloured coat-sleeve. These little personal arrangements completed, and a dazzling snuff-box released from the confinement of a side-pocket, tapped thrice, and lightened of two pinches of its titillating luxury, the stranger now, with the guardian eye of friendship, directed a searching glance to the dress of his friends. There, all appeared meet for his strictest scrutiny, save, indeed, that the supercilious-looking stranger having just drawn forth his gloves, the lining of his coat-pocket – which was rather soiled into the bargain – had not returned to its internal station; the tall stranger, seeing this little inelegance, kindly thrust three fingers with a sudden and light dive into his friend’s pocket, and effectually repulsed the forwardness of the intrusive lining. The supercilious stranger no sooner felt the touch, than he started back, and whispered to his officious companion, –

  ‘What! Among friends, Ned! Fie now; curb the nature of thee for one night, at least.’