by Adele Abbott
“He didn’t go into detail, but he did say that he needed your help.”
“Hmm? I wouldn’t trust that pair as far as I could throw them.”
“I’m not a fan either, but he did sound pretty desperate.”
“Okay. I guess it can’t do any harm to hear him out. Did he give you his phone number?”
I gave Miles a call, and he did indeed sound in a bad way. He said he couldn’t go into detail over the phone, and asked if I’d pay him a visit at Best Cakes.
“Is the shop open again now?”
“No. You’ll need to go around to the back door.”
“Okay. I’ll pop over later.”
***
Mrs V was by herself.
“Morning, Mrs V.”
She was so engrossed in her knitting project that she barely managed a grunt.
“The sky is very green today.”
Another grunt.
“I thought I might do a little brain surgery on the cat this morning.”
And that made a hat-trick of grunts.
As soon as I walked through the door to my office, Winky moved his paws behind his back, as though he was trying to hide something.
“What’s that?”
“What’s what?”
“Whatever it is you have behind your back.”
“There’s nothing behind my back.” He showed me one paw, and then the other.
“It’s still behind your back. You just moved it between your paws. Do you think I’m stupid?”
“Do you want the truth, or would you prefer me to be polite?”
“Neither, and you know what? I don’t care what’s behind your back. You can keep your little secret.”
I was onto his game; he was trying to draw me in.
I’d been at my desk for about fifteen minutes when Mrs V came through.
“Client?” I said more out of hope than expectation.
“No, dear. I wanted to show you my competition entry. It’s coming along nicely.”
“Right.” The excitement never ended.
“It’s a tea cosy.” She held it up.
“A what?”
“A tea cosy. Surely you’ve heard of a tea cosy?”
“It looks like a hat.”
“No it doesn’t!” She passed it to me. “See that hole? That’s where the spout comes out.”
“What spout?”
“You, young people. I suppose you’ve only ever made a cup of tea by putting a tea bag into a cup?”
“Is there another way?”
“There’s the correct way, which is to brew the tea in a teapot. A tea cosy goes over the teapot to keep it—”
“Cosy?”
“Warm.”
“I see. Will anyone else know what it is? Won’t everyone just think it’s a hat?”
“Thankfully, the judges are all intelligent people.”
Burn!
“It’s very colourful.”
“I have the Chameleon Wool to thank for that. Now that it’s working properly, it does make life so much easier.” She took the tea cosy back from me. “What’s the verdict? Do you think I’m in with a chance?”
“Without a doubt. It’s bound to be the best tea cosy there.”
Chapter 4
Best Cakes was still closed, and as far as I could tell, there was nothing to indicate when it was going to reopen.
I’d first encountered Miles Best at the twins’ school reunion. They’d had a crush on him back in their schooldays, and had both been excited to meet him again. That hadn’t worked out as they’d hoped because the years had not been kind to him. And, being the superficial pair they were, the twins had no interest in Miles mark two.
Ever since then, Miles and his partner, Mindy, had waged some kind of vendetta, not only against the twins, but also against me. They’d even tried to get one over on Grandma, but that had proven to be a big mistake. Given our history, I was rather surprised that he would want my help.
I would have to be on my guard.
“Jill, come on in.” Miles greeted me at the rear door to the shop. “Thanks for agreeing to see us.”
He and Mindy lived in a small apartment over the shop. Miles led the way upstairs and into the lounge, where Mindy was already seated on the sofa.
“Hi, Jill.” She smiled.
“Hi.”
“Would you like a drink?”
“No, thanks. I’d rather get straight down to business.”
“You’re probably wondering why the shop is closed?” Miles said.
“Yeah. I noticed it was shut when I was in Cuppy C, yesterday.”
“The authorities closed us down because a number of pins have been found in some of our cakes.”
“Goodness. Was anyone hurt?”
“Fortunately, no, but I dread to think what might have happened if someone had actually swallowed one.”
“Do you have any idea how the pins got into the cakes?”
“No. That’s what we’re hoping you’ll find out.”
“I have to say, Miles, I’m surprised you would ask me to investigate. Given our history, that is.”
“I know, and I realise that most of that has been on our side.”
“Most?” If he thought I was about to let him off the hook, he was mistaken.
“You’re right. We’ve done some unforgivable things for which I’m truly sorry, but we really do need your help now. The authorities are going to allow us to re-open tomorrow, but they’ve made it clear that if there’s any repetition, we’ll be closed down permanently.”
“I’m surprised they’ve given you another chance.”
“They’re only doing it because I managed to convince them that we’d traced the problem to one batch from a single supplier.”
“And did you have it out with that supplier?”
“No, because that was a lie. We’re absolutely certain that the problem isn’t with our suppliers. The pins were put into the cakes after they arrived at the shop.”
“It’s those two girls!” Mindy spat the words. “Flora and Laura.”
“We don’t know that,” Miles snapped. “We have three other part-time staff. It could be any one of them. Or even an outside party.”
“It’s those girls.” Mindy turned to face me. “You know what they’re like, Jill. You saw them in action at Cuppy C.”
It was true. The two ice maidens had done their best to sabotage the twins’ business, but what Mindy had failed to mention was that they had done so at the bidding of Miles. Being the diplomat that I am, I decided not to mention that.
“What exactly do you want me to do? I can hardly work undercover in the shop because Flora and Laura both know me.”
“You’re the best P.I. in Washbridge. Everyone knows that,” Miles said. “Plus, you’re the most powerful witch in Candlefield. If anyone can get to the bottom of this, you can.”
“How do I know I can trust you, Miles? It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve tried to get one over on me.”
“We’re desperate, Jill. If we lose Best Cakes, we’ll lose everything. We’ll pay you twice your normal fee.”
“If I agree to do this—and that’s a very big ‘if’—I won’t want any payment.”
The two of them exchanged a puzzled look.
“What I do want is your solemn promise that you’ll never do anything else to hurt me, my family or our businesses.”
“Agreed.” Miles didn’t hesitate. “You have our word, doesn’t she, Mindy?”
“Yes, of course.” Mindy nodded.
“I have one other condition.”
“Name it.”
“I must insist on being able to conduct this investigation in my own way. And that means I will tell no one, including either of you, how or when I’ll do it.”
“Agreed,” Miles said. “But you need to catch whoever it is quickly—before they get us closed down for good.”
“Okay. I’ll take the case, but you’ll need to warn Flora and Laura tha
t I may pay a visit, and that I should be allowed to go anywhere in the shop.”
“What shall I tell them you’re doing?”
“You’ll have to lie—you’re good at that. Why not tell them that you’re pretending to call a truce with me, so that you can get a look at Cuppy C in return? That sounds evil enough to be plausible.”
***
It was possible that I’d just made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I would definitely have to be on my guard; at the first sign of any skulduggery I would make Miles and Mindy wish they’d never been born.
I was just about to magic myself back to the office when I noticed that Cuppy C was incredibly busy. Alan and William had agreed to run the shop for three days. How would they cope with so many customers? I thought I’d better check in on them. If they were really struggling, I could always volunteer my services for an hour.
What do you mean that would do more harm than good? Cheek! When I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it.
As it turned out, I needn’t have worried. The shop was indeed much busier than usual, but the two guys seemed to be coping admirably. It was obvious that both of them were every bit as confident on the coffee machine as the twins. They made me look like a rank amateur. As I waited in-line to be served, it occurred to me that there was an unusually high number of young females in the shop. Normally, the customers were a mix of ages, and as many couples as singles. Not today. A quick scan of the shop revealed that at least seventy-five per cent of the customers were young females under thirty-five.
A pretty young witch joined the queue behind me.
“Are you here for the eye-candy, too?” She gestured towards Alan and William. “I don’t usually come in here because those two ditsy girls get on my nerves, but then I found out that these two hunks were working here.”
“How did you hear?”
“I got a text from my friend, Polly. She was in here yesterday.”
That explained the sudden popularity of the tea room, and the marked change in the demographic of the customers. They were all here to see Alan and William. Oh dear. That wouldn’t go down well with Amber and Pearl.
Snigger.
***
Why, oh why, had I let myself be talked into going to the funfair?
“Auntie Jill!” Lizzie came charging over, and threw herself at me.
“Hi, Lizzie. Are you looking forward to the funfair?”
“Yeah. I’m going to have candy floss.”
“Toffee apples are better.” Mikey arrived, hot on the heels of his sister.
“I’m sure they’ll have both.” Kathy caught up with the kids.
“Which do you like best, Auntie Jill?” Mikey asked.
“I like them both.” I was no fool. I wasn’t going to pick a side, and risk upsetting one of them.
“I wasn’t sure you’d show,” Kathy said as we walked towards Washbridge Green.
“I said I would, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but I half expected you to call and cancel because of some last-minute, urgent business.”
“O ye of little faith.”
“Do you blame me? It wouldn’t be the first time you’d done it.”
“Just don’t expect me to go on any of the rides.”
“Of course not. I know you’re allergic to having fun.”
“There’s nothing fun about those rides. They’re downright dangerous.”
“Can I go on the waltzer, Mummy?” Lizzie yelled.
“Me too!” Mikey shouted.
“Okay, kids,” Kathy said. “I’ll come on with you.”
“Are you coming too, Auntie Jill?” Lizzie grabbed my hand.
“Auntie Jill is too scared,” Kathy said.
“You’re not scared, are you, Auntie Jill?” Lizzie tugged at my hand.
“Of course not. There’s nothing to be scared of.”
“Come and join us, then.” Kathy beckoned to me.
“Yeah!” Lizzie yelled. “Please.”
“Come on, Auntie Jill!” Mikey grabbed my other hand.
Oh bum!
***
“Why are you walking funny, Auntie Jill?” Lizzie looked concerned.
“I’m not.” Why wouldn’t everything stop spinning?
“You are. Isn’t she, Mummy?”
“Hold on to me, Auntie Jill.” Kathy took my hand. “I’ll help you.”
“I’m okay. I’m just a bit dizzy, that’s all.”
“Did you enjoy the waltzer?”
“Those stupid rides shouldn’t be allowed. I feel like I’ve just been put through the spin cycle in my washing machine.”
“You do look a little green. What you need is some candy floss.”
The thought of eating candy floss, or anything else for that matter, turned my stomach.
“Would you like some, Auntie Jill?” Lizzie’s mouth was already covered in the pink, gooey fluff.
“No thanks. I’m not hungry.”
“Can I have a go on hook-a-duck, Mum?” Mikey said, through a mouthful of toffee apple.
“I want a go, too!” Lizzie said.
Kathy and I followed them to the hook-a-duck stall.
“Will you hold my toffee apple, Mum?” Mikey thrust the stick into Kathy’s hand.
“Can you hold my candy floss, please, Auntie Jill?” Lizzie passed it to me.
Just the smell of it made my stomach churn even more. I didn’t even want to look at it, so I moved my hand behind my back.
“Hey! Be careful!”
I turned around to find a bald-headed man standing behind me. His black beard was covered in pink and white candy floss.
“Sorry. I didn’t see you there.”
“You might have done if you’d actually looked behind you before you pushed your candy floss in my face.”
He was picking the fluffy, pink and white sticky stuff out of his beard. It was going to be a long job.
I apologised again, and then shuffled over to Kathy, who was in hysterics.
“It could only happen to you, Jill.”
“Isn’t it time to go home, yet?”
It wasn’t. I had another hour to suffer before Kathy finally called it a day.
“Okay, kids. It’s time to go.”
“Aww, Mummy.” Lizzie pouted. “Can we stay another ten minutes?”
“I want to go on the ghost train, Mum!” Mikey tried to pull Kathy towards it.
“Okay, but after that it will be time to go home. Do you want to go on, too, Lizzie?”
“I suppose so.” Lizzie didn’t sound overly enthusiastic, and I wondered if that was because she was used to seeing ghosts every day.
“What about you, Jill?”
“No, thanks. I’ll give this one a miss.”
“Oh, yeah. I’d almost forgotten.” Kathy laughed. “You’re scared of ghost trains, aren’t you?”
“Of course I’m not.”
“You would never go on them when we were kids.”
“Rubbish. There’s something wrong with your memory. I just feel a little dizzy from the waltzer.”
“Come on, kids. We’ll leave scaredy cat, Auntie Jill, here.”
She was right. I was terrified of ghost trains—I always had been. That may sound ridiculous coming from someone who routinely spends time with ‘real’ ghosts, but it was true. What really got to me was the way stuff jumped out at you. My nerves couldn’t stand that kind of thing.
While I was waiting for Kathy and the kids to have their final ride of the day, the bearded man walked past me, on his way to the exit. He gave me a withering look, and I could hardly blame him because he still had traces of candy floss in his beard.
“That was fantastic!” Mikey came rushing over to me. “Mum was scared, but I wasn’t.”
Kathy did look a little pale.
“You weren’t scared, were you, Kathy?” I grinned.
“That was really horrible. Those ghosts were terrifying.”
“That’s because they were real ghosts, Mummy,”
Lizzie said, almost matter-of-factly.
Chapter 5
The next morning, over breakfast, Jack was once again engrossed in something on his phone.
“Hello? Remember me?” I waved to him across the breakfast bar.
“I’ve found a fancy dress shop in Washbridge. It looks like we’ll get something suitable there.”
“I don’t need anything.”
“You said you’d go to the Con.”
“I didn’t say I’d get dressed up in some stupid costume.”
“You have to. Everyone there will be in costume. You’ll stand out like a sore thumb, if you don’t.”
“Fine. Do they have any ‘apathetic bystander’ costumes?”
“I think we should go as Vamp and Champ.”
“As who?”
“It’s a popular TV program, apparently.”
“I’ve never heard of it. I assume Vamp is a vampire, but what is Champ?”
“He’s a vampire too. That’s just his nickname. Look, this shop has vampire costumes, so we should be able to find something suitable.”
“I’m not putting false fangs in my mouth.”
“You have to. Vampires always have fangs.”
“Since when did you become the world’s leading authority on vampires?”
“It’s common knowledge.”
“Is it really? Did you know about the patches, too?”
“What patches?”
“Vampires use them to stave off their craving for human blood.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Where did you read that nonsense? It’s a good thing one of us knows what they’re talking about. If I can get away at lunch time, will you meet me at this shop?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Not really.”
“Can’t I just go as a witch?”
“I’ve already told you that you’d make a terrible witch.”
I hadn’t seen Jack so excited about anything since the last time he’d bought himself a new bowling shirt. That probably didn’t say much for my sex appeal.
I knew which fancy dress shop he was talking about. It was the one where Dolly’s daughter, Dorothy, had worked when she first moved to Candlefield. I was fairly sure it was still managed by a wizard. I was quite looking forward to seeing his expression when Jack told him that he didn’t think I’d make a very good witch.
