He lost himself to the sensation and freedom of kissing her. There were no games or hidden agendas—just pure mutual desire and respect, and he revelled in it.
The sound of someone clearing their throat in the doorway had them crashing back to earth.
He dragged his lips from Eliza’s, stared into her stunned eyes, before glancing around to find Katie grinning at him from the doorway. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.’
‘You’re not interrupting!’
But Eliza’s voice came out on a squeak. She tried to scramble off his lap, but he held her fast, refusing to relinquish her. ‘I’m just trying to convince Eliza here that she should date me.’
Katie laughed. ‘From where I’m standing, she’s looking pretty convinced.’
‘Oh, the two of you!’ Eliza stopped struggling, and wrestled to hide a smile instead. ‘I was taken off guard. You can both just stop it.’
That only made Katie laugh again. The sound gladdened his heart. He had a sister, and a niece...and very soon he meant to have Eliza.
‘I just popped my head in to say goodnight.’
‘Goodnight, Katie.’
‘Sleep well,’ Eliza called after her.
She turned her gaze back to Seb. He wanted to kiss her again, but he didn’t trust that he’d be able to stop. He reached up to wind a lock of her hair about his finger. ‘I do want to date you, Eliza. I hope you’ll agree.’
She swallowed.
‘We’ll take it slowly.’ He wanted to get it right this time.
She folded her arms and lifted her chin. ‘Whenever a man says he wants to take it slowly that just means he wants to take the emotional commitment slowly. He still usually wants to jump into bed as soon as possible.’
He stared at her, fighting a scowl. What on earth...?
She sent him a smile that held a world of hurt...and he hated that he might have somehow put it there. ‘Guilty as charged, huh?’
He thrust out his jaw. ‘I want you physically. I have no desire to deny it. As for the rest...’ He lifted a shoulder and let it fall. ‘It’s too soon to know.’
She nodded, but whether in agreement or not he couldn’t be sure. Why did women always want assurances and promises? He could give her neither.
This time when she scrambled off his lap, he didn’t try to stop her.
Soon, he told himself. Soon.
* * *
With a growl of frustration, Liv threw her phone to her bed. Why did Liz have her phone turned off still?
Seizing her laptop, she checked her emails. There was nothing from Liz. Pulling in a deep breath, she started typing.
Dear Liz,
I’ve fallen in love with your boss.
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.
I need to tell him the truth.
Please get in touch with me asap.
She signed off and waited.
And waited.
She didn’t fall asleep until the wee small hours.
She woke in the morning to her ringing phone. She glanced at the screen—Liz! She pressed it to her ear. ‘Where have you been? I’ve been trying to contact you for days! I—’
‘Oh, Livvy, I’m so sorry! Have you seen today’s newspapers?’
‘No, why...? I’ve only just woken up. Hold on...’ She grabbed her laptop, turned it on and then scanned the newspaper headlines, her heart dropping like a stone to her stomach. ‘Oh, God.’
Had Seb seen these yet?
She shook herself. ‘Is it true?’
‘Um...yes.’
‘You’re engaged?’
‘Look, it’s complicated. I’ll explain later, but first you need to get to Sebastian and tell him the truth before he sees these headlines.’
Dear God, Liz was right!
‘Good luck, Livvy.’
She had a feeling she was going to need it. ‘I’ll ring you later.’
CHAPTER TEN
LIV THREW ON the nearest clothes to hand. She tried Seb’s room first, but received no answer to her knock. The room was empty. She started for the kitchen but redirected to the drawing room first.
He glanced up the moment she entered. She saw the newspaper open in front of him—with the news of Liz’s engagement to King Tariq splashed all across it.
She covered her face. Why hadn’t she followed her instincts and told him the truth last night?
She pulled her hands away. ‘I was hoping I’d get a chance to explain before you saw that.’
‘You can explain this?’
The coldness in his voice made her recoil. ‘Yes,’ she replied, but her voice barely emerged above a whisper.
‘If this—’ he lifted an edge of the newspaper ‘—is Eliza Anne Gilmour, former office manager of the esteemed Tyrell Foundation,’ he quoted, ‘then who are you?’
She wanted to go and sit beside him, but his coldness forbade it. She twisted her hands together. ‘I’m Olivia Grace Gilmour, born twenty-two minutes after Eliza Anne. Liz is my sister...my twin sister.’
He stared at the paper rather than at her—as if the sight of her disgusted him.
She swallowed. It wasn’t disgust. It’d be too easy for her to hide behind that, to get all uppity and defensive and use it as an excuse to fight against his reaction. It wasn’t disgust that he was experiencing, but betrayal and pain. This lie had hurt him. As she’d known it would.
Oh, she hadn’t known that at the beginning, of course. But she had known it since they’d had such fun together at their private party...since that kiss.
And yet you still didn’t tell him the truth.
Which made her a fool!
He still refused to look at her and panic clawed at her belly. She pressed her hands to her stomach and tried to keep it at bay. With him refusing to look at her, she wasn’t sure what to say next...or what to do.
‘I’m sorry.’ She couldn’t keep the emotion from her voice. She didn’t even try to.
She hesitated and then perched on the sofa opposite, her knees shaking. She gestured at the newspaper. ‘Eliza—Liz—met King Tariq on her holiday to Greece. She didn’t know who he was—he was travelling incognito—but they had a holiday romance. It wasn’t until Liz was back home in London that she found she was pregnant.’
His head lifted, but not an ounce of warmth filtered across his face. ‘That’s why she asked for more leave—to find him and tell him that they were expecting a child?’
‘Yes.’
His hands clenched and his eyes blazed in his face. ‘Why didn’t she tell me the truth?’
She tried not to flinch at the accusation ripping through his words. ‘Because the two of you are as reticent as each other.’
He shot to his feet. ‘So this is my fault?’
‘Of course not!’ She shot upright too. ‘But, just for a moment, look at it from her point of view. She was scared witless at finding herself unexpectedly pregnant. And she was frightened of losing her job.’
‘I would never—’
‘And she wasn’t thinking as clearly and logically as she’d have normally done.’
He gave a harsh laugh. ‘So she called on you for help.’
She couldn’t stand it any longer. She raced around the coffee table to stand in front of him, so close waves of heat beat at her. She ached to touch him, but she didn’t dare. ‘The switch wasn’t even supposed to have an impact on you.’
His jaw dropped. ‘Not have an impact...?’ And then he ground his teeth together so hard she winced.
‘You were overseas...and Liz was only supposed to be away for a few days. My role was to simply keep the office running smoothly until she came back—something I am actually qualified to do, by the way. We had no intention of defrauding you. And Liz had every intention of being back before you returned.’
She swung away, strode to the window. ‘There was nothing nasty about it. We weren’t trying to steal from you or rob you. Your office was being taken care of...and you were never supposed to know—what you don’t know isn’t supposed to hurt you, right?’ Wrong. ‘It wasn’t supposed to hurt anyone!’
She turned back. How naïve that all seemed now. ‘But Tariq’s being a king complicated everything. Then there were plane strikes...and an anonymous baby was left on your desk.’
He strode across to her, his eyes flashing silver fire. ‘The scheme turned nasty the moment I kissed you and you still didn’t tell me the truth.’
She swallowed and nodded. ‘Yes.’ She hated being so far in the wrong, but she hated the fact that she’d hurt him more. ‘It was wrong of me...really wrong.’
‘I understand your wanting to help your sister. I can even understand your agreeing to stand in for her at the office, but the rest of it...’ He shook his head.
He stared at her as if he didn’t know her, and that stung. ‘The only thing I lied about was my name,’ she whispered. ‘Everything else was the truth.’
He gave a laugh so devoid of mirth that nausea burned the back of her throat. ‘You expect me to believe that?’ And then his eyes went horrifyingly blank. ‘You’re just as bad as my parents. You’re just as bad as Rhoda.’
‘That is not true!’ Fear and anger swirled through her, making the edges of her vision darken.
‘I want you to pack your bags and go back to London. I never want to see you or your sister again.’
No! She pulled in a breath. ‘I know you feel betrayed and hurt, Seb, and I don’t blame you. I know you’re angry at the moment, and rightly so. I know what I did was wrong—big-time wrong. But are you really going to throw away what we could have because you refuse to give me another chance? I swear I’ll make this up to you. I swear I’ll never let you down like this again.’
She held her breath. He’d made her no promises last night. That had been painfully clear. But he had at least been willing to explore the potential for something more.
‘What we could have?’ He raised a mocking eyebrow. ‘My dear Ms Gilmour, a few pleasant kisses does not a relationship make.’
The words were designed to draw blood...and they did. But she lifted her chin. ‘It was more than that and you know it.’ Her hands clenched. ‘If all we’d shared was nothing more than a few pleasant kisses, you wouldn’t be feeling this cut up now.’
His nostrils flared. ‘I do not envisage a future with a woman who has lied to me about her very identity.’
Which is why he was trying to cast her in the same mould as Rhoda and his parents. Well, she wouldn’t let him! She reached out and placed her hand over his heart. He stiffened, but he didn’t move away. ‘I know you in here, Sebastian Tyrell. I know the real you.’ He paled at her words. ‘And you know me in exactly the same way, regardless of whether you call me Eliza or Olivia.’
His eyes, dark and hard, bored into hers. ‘It’s not what it feels like. It feels like I don’t know you at all. It feels like I never did.’
The words emerged from white lips and she reefed her hand back, her heart pounding, hope lying in tatters at her feet. ‘I love you.’ She hadn’t meant to say the words out loud, but now that she had she didn’t try to retract them.
‘I’m sorry, but I’m going to go with my gut instinct on this one.’
Her words hadn’t penetrated even a millimetre beneath the armour he’d wrapped securely about him.
‘I’m afraid my idea of love is different from yours. As soon as you have your bags packed George will take you to the station.’
She swung away to stare blindly out of the window. She’d wrecked everything.
She listened to him walk away, but he paused in the doorway. ‘How could you be persuaded to do something so deceitful?’
She swung around, her fists clenching. ‘You were too!’ If he wanted to see the world in such black and white terms she’d give him a dose of his own medicine. ‘You kept Jemima’s plight from the authorities.’
‘That’s nowhere near as bad as you lying about your identity!’
‘You can only say that because you weren’t caught!’
They met in the middle of the room like combatants, both of them throwing any veneer of civility out of the window.
She thrust her chin out. ‘Why is what I did worse than what you did?’
‘Because I had Jemima’s best interests at heart,’ he bellowed. ‘You didn’t have my best interests at heart.’
‘Oh, and what do you think a judge would make of that defence—I had the baby’s best interests at heart, Your Honour—if Katie had panicked and reported that you’d kidnapped her baby...or if she’d never been found and the authorities discovered you were harbouring an unknown child? Huh? Huh?’
She stood on tiptoe as she huh-ed him, straining to meet him eye to eye. No doubt later she’d die a thousand deaths at her childishness, but for the moment she’d lost all semblance of control.
He opened his mouth, but it took several moments before words emerged. ‘That didn’t happen! You’re creating hypothetical scenarios based solely on their dramatic impact—’
‘The police, a judge, all of those people wouldn’t consider it any defence at all. As for hypothetical situations, well here’s another one for you. What if I’d told you the truth last night?’ As she’d been so tempted to do. ‘Would you be feeling like this now?’
His eyes narrowed. ‘But you didn’t tell me last night and—’
‘You got lucky! I didn’t!’
She shouted the words. She shouted them more loudly than she’d ever shouted anything.
They stared at each other, both breathing heavily.
‘You got lucky with Katie, but I didn’t get lucky with you.’
He didn’t say anything, not that she expected him to see their situations as in any way similar. The shouting felt good. Although she knew it was only a temporary panacea. Still, it was better than dissolving in a flood of tears at his feet.
‘And I’ll tell you something else—’ she jutted her chin aggressively again and hoped it hid the way her bottom lip wobbled ‘—I’ve helped you a whole lot more than I’ve harmed you.’
His face set in mutiny but she refused to give him a chance to speak. ‘Liz wouldn’t have been able to cope with an abandoned baby. You’re lucky you got me instead.’
‘What the hell—?’
‘Yes, lucky! Liz would’ve called the authorities like any sane person would’ve done...except I was persuaded to do otherwise.’
He blinked.
‘And I expect a defence of “I did it because my boss asked me to” wouldn’t hold much water with the authorities either. Were you thinking of my best interests in that situation?’
The tightening of his mouth told her that arrow had found its mark.
‘And I stopped you from making a hash of things with Katie and scaring her out of her wits, which now means you’re getting the chance to form a decent relationship with her.’
He stared at her, his eyes throbbing, but he remained tight-lipped and all the fight left her. Still, she refused to let her chin drop. ‘I was trying to help my sister—a sister I love. Why on earth do you think you deserve my loyalty over her? I’ve known her all my life and I’ve known you for all of five seconds.’ She folded her arms. ‘You can remain as cold and distant and unbending as you want, but I know the truth.’
‘And what truth is that?’
‘That I have helped you, Seb.’ She moistened her lips. ‘And that I am deserving of your forgiveness.’
He didn’t say a word and her last hope died. She’d been so sure that he’d liked her—that their souls had understood each other on a primal level—and that what they�
�d shared had been more than a physical attraction. But maybe that had been a chimera, wishful thinking on her part, because if he had truly liked her, then surely she should be able to reach him.
She pressed a hand to her brow. ‘Is there anything else you want to say, other than goodbye?’
His lips cracked open briefly. ‘No.’
The room blurred. ‘Right, I’ll go and pack my bags then.’
She turned and left. She pulled in a breath. She would not cry. She pulled in another breath. She would not cry. She pushed all the pain to the periphery of her being. She’d try and find a way to deal with it when she got home.
Her phone rang. On automatic pilot she pressed it against her ear. ‘Hello?’
‘Livvy, how are you? How did things go with Sebastian?’
Don’t laugh. She had a feeling that laughing would open floodgates she’d not be able to close again in a hurry. ‘Oh, about as well as either one of us expected. I’m sorry, Liz, but you’ve been fired. I can’t talk now. I’ll call you tonight.’
She rang off, found her suitcase and started throwing her things into it.
* * *
‘As soon as Ms Gilmour is ready I want you to drive her to the station.’
The four occupants of the kitchen—Brownie, George, Katie and Jemima—all snapped to attention at his sergeant-major tone. Newspapers littered the kitchen table and he wanted to collect each of them up and shove them into the wood-burning stove.
Except that’d reveal the extent of the storm raging through him, its ferocity.
He wanted to open his mouth as wide as he could and yell with all his might. But what good would that do? It’d only frighten everyone.
‘Very good, Master Sebastian.’
His back teeth ground together. For God’s sake, why couldn’t they just call him Seb the way Eliza did?
Her name isn’t Eliza!
The formality isn’t their fault.
Don’t take this out on them!
He shot one last blistering glare at the newspapers and then made for the door. ‘I’m going for a walk!’
He left before anyone could say anything. Questions would be asked and explanations would need to be given, but he didn’t have the heart for it at the moment. Maybe after lunch...or tomorrow...next week.
A Baby in His In-Tray Page 16
