by E. Ayers
Shawn scrunched up his face. “Do I have to put it back?”
“No, just don’t do it again.” Looking at the board, he had very few choices, and no matter which piece he moved, it gave Shawn another opportunity to jump. He shoved one forward.
Shawn jumped the checker and doubled his. “Now can I jump any which way?”
“Yes.” And watched as his son captured several more checkers. His cell phone rang, and he picked up the call. “Hello.” “Yes, it is." "The thirtieth and I’m to be there at seven o’clock. Thanks.”
“Is that about me?” Shawn asked.
Trent grabbed a pen and wrote on the wall calendar. “No. I go to the doctor’s office tomorrow for my shoulder, and my surgery is set for the thirtieth.”
“What are they going to do to it?”
Trent returned to his seat. “I don’t know. I think that’s why I have to see the doctor tomorrow.”
“My appointment is tomorrow.”
“I know. You may come with me and then I’ll take you to your appointment in the afternoon.”
“I’m scared.”
Trent looked at his son. “Of what?”
“Of having surgery.”
“You’ll be asleep. You won’t feel a thing." He pushed his checker forward. "Double my checker.”
Shawn stacked a checker on his father's. “Billy said I could die.”
“Billy’s a little kid. He’s not a doctor. Your doctor wouldn’t do this surgery if he didn’t think it was going to fix your heart.”
“I’m still scared.”
“Don’t be. Cas is going to be there while you have your surgery.”
“Really?” The little boy's eyes grew big.
“Yes, really. She loves you.”
Shawn got very serious. “I know. That’s why you have to marry her.”
A big grin tugged at Trent's cheeks. “You want her that much, huh?”
***
Cassie turned the lights out in her office. It had been a long, grueling day, and she was glad it was over. She punched Trent’s number on her cell phone and waited for him to pick up. “Hi. What are you doing?”
“Drinking coffee and losing a third game of checkers to my son. Want dinner? There’s plenty here.”
“You don’t have to ask me twice for that. Do I have time to change first?”
“Nope, come as you are.”
It didn't take her long to drive to the house and park her car. As she raised her hand to knock, the door opened and Shawn was beaming at her.
“Hi, sweetie.”
“Hi. Daddy’s in the kitchen. You look pretty.”
“Thank you.” She followed Shawn and when she reached the kitchen, she washed her hands. “I should have stopped by my place on the way here. I don’t want to bring any germs with me.”
Trent looked at her standing there in a pair of heels, dress pants, and a jacket. “Want to wear one of my tee shirts? And I think I’ve got a pair of shorts with a draw string.”
“I think the shirt will fall to my knees. That should be sufficient.”
“Shawn, show Cas where to find a tee shirt.”
She followed the child to Shawn’s room. The double bed took up most of the floor space and there was a chest of drawers, a small bureau, and a tiny nightstand crammed into the space. Everything was quite tidy, including the drawer that Shawn opened. She reached in and plucked the top shirt. It unfolded to reveal Joe’s Fish House screen-printed on the pocket and on the back was a larger image.
“That’s Daddy’s newest. Our neighbor gave it to him. She works there.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t wear it if he just got it. Can you find me another one while I fold this one back up?”
Shawn reached to the bottom of the drawer and handed her a colorful tie-dyed shirt. “Here. He never wears this one. He says it looks like a girl’s shirt.”
She put the first shirt back and took the tie-dye from Shawn. “I think this will be perfect for me.”
Shawn smiled brightly and left her alone in Trent’s room. She clicked the door closed and quickly changed. Just as she had predicted, the shirt fell almost to her knees. She tried to back up enough to see in the mirror over the bureau, but she tripped on the edge of the bed and caught her balance. Noticing the closet door slightly ajar, she snooped. The closet was almost empty compared to hers, but in the very back was his high school jacket. She pulled it out, looked at it, and returned it. On the shelf over the rod was the edge of a frame. She tipped it and then took a long gaze at the diploma. Trent graduated top in his class. He gave up everything for Colleen and the baby she was carrying.
She put it back and joined them in the kitchen.
“May I help with anything?” she asked.
“I’m ready to serve it.” Trent stood at the stove and ladled food onto Shawn’s plate first. “Want to fill your own?”
She watched Shawn waiting patiently, and when Trent sat, Shawn bowed his head and said, “Bless us O Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord. Amen.”
They all made the sign of the cross.
She reached over and ran her fingers through Shawn’s hair. “That was perfect, Shawn. I’ve very proud of you. Who taught you to say that?”
“Grandmom. We always say grace when we are home.”
“I think we’re supposed to say it even when we aren’t home.” She took a few bites. “This is so good. I can’t remember the last time I ate boiled ham and cabbage.”
“It’s leftovers. Want some bread?”
“I’m fine with this.”
“Tomorrow, it we’ll probably have split pea soup, with whatever was left on the bone. Nothing goes to waste.”
“It was that way in our house, but with my brothers, there was never much left over.”
Trent shook his head. “Seems my entire life we’ve eaten leftovers.”
She reached over and touched Trent’s arm. “Your mom is a good cook. You’ve been very lucky.”
“You’re not going to find too many steaks in this house.”
“Steak is good, but right now, this tastes better than any steak.”
“Glad you like it.”
There was an edge in Trent’s voice that she didn’t like. She watched him trying to decide if he hated what he was eating, or if he was feeling guilty about serving her such a simple fare.
~~16~~
When Shawn went to bed, Trent and Cassie sat on the tiny patio in the backyard.
“Am I keeping you from doing something?” she asked.
He shook his head.
“What's wrong tonight? You’ve been distant and reticent”
“I’ve got my problems, and you’ve got yours.”
She gazed over the yard and noticed all the roses that were blooming, or about to bloom. Not a blade of grass appeared to be out of place. “Do you feel as if my problems are affecting you?”
“No. I’ve got enough of my own.”
“Meaning?” She watched a small bird at a feeder.
“My surgery is scheduled for the thirtieth.”
“That’s next Tuesday. How’s the pain?”
“It hurts like hell.”
She shook her head. “Are you sleeping?”
He nodded. “I take the one pill before I go to bed.”
“I should go home.”
“Don’t leave yet.”
“But you’re in pain. If I go, you can--”
“No. We need to talk.”
“Okay.”
“Cas, you yank every emotional string inside of me, and right now, that’s a bad thing.”
Her heart seemed to instantly fall into her stomach. “Are you trying to tell me that you want me out of your life?”
“No. Everything is jumbled.”
“Like what?” She sucked in her lower lip and waited for his response.
“My feelings for you.”
“What are your feelings, and why is it bad?”
“Let’s lay a few things on the table.”
She sat quietly, trying to relax her clenched insides.
“I don’t want you in my life feeling sorry for me. I’ve been living with my problems for a long time. You’re Pollyanna attitude about Shawn’s surgery isn’t very realistic. You and your hotshot friends think this is going to be the great cure.”
Anger began to boil from where her heart had fallen. Taking a deep breath, she cut him off. “I’m certainly aware of the risks involved. And your attitude towards my friends is unfounded. But that’s your son asleep in the other room, and you need to stop thinking about losing him, and start looking at his future.”
“I can’t look past June first, and you need to understand that.”
“No. For Shawn’s sake, you’d better start looking beyond that date. You think he doesn’t pick up on your thoughts? You’re wrong. Haven’t you noticed that he doesn’t say anything about playing soccer or seeing his friends again? He thinks he’s going to die.”
“Maybe he is.”
“That’s in God’s hands, and he’s given you the best doctors and equipment. Give Shawn some hope, or he will die.”
“Don’t tell me what to do with my son.”
“Excuse me? I’m not telling you what to do. I’m pointing out that you are condemning him with your attitude. That child is so uptight about surgery, that he’s fearful of you having yours.”
Trent glanced at her for a split second. “That’s nuts!”
“Is not. Ask him tomorrow morning. Ask him if he thinks you will die having your surgery.”
He turned and glared at her.
“I watched the color drain from his face at dinner when you mentioned it.”
“I’ve never said a word to him about dying.”
“You don’t have to say it. You think he hasn’t overheard conversations? Kids have built in radar. They pick up on things.”
He propped his elbow on his knee, lowered his head into the palm of his hand, and sat in silence.
Her heart went out to him. “There is no magic wand, and we don’t have a crystal ball. Anything can happen.”
Trent didn’t move.
“Do you think Colleen would have allowed herself to get pregnant if she knew she were going to die?”
“I got her pregnant.”
“She allowed that to happen. What did she do, tell you that she was on the pill?”
“No.”
“Don’t tell me you weren’t using anything.”
“Condoms. Withdrawal.”
“And you thought that would work?”
“It did for over two years.”
“You started when you were fifteen?”
“Technically, she was still fourteen. The first time was the night before her fifteenth birthday.”
She rolled her eyes. “What were you thinking? Never mind - you weren’t.”
Trent narrowed his eyes. “You have no right to criticize.”
“A little late for that. You were babies.”
“I was not!”
“Okay, you were a couple of hormonal teenagers who should have never been indulging.”
“How old were you the first time?”
“Twenty-two. And I thought I was in love.”
“Was it with the guy you married?”
“No. It wasn’t even a committed relationship.”
“Before you start tossing knives at me, consider this, Colleen was the only woman in my life, until you came along. I’d like to know just how many partners you’ve had over the years.”
“Five, if I include the mutant from Death Star Three Sixteen. Even when I was with my husband, I’ve always been very careful.”
“Cas, you do something to me. I don’t want to burn in Hell because of it, and I don’t want God punishing me by taking my son away.”
“Do you believe God would do such a thing?”
“I don’t want to chance it.”
“That’s nonsense.” She stood and stretched, turned and gave him a wicked grin. “I’m going to do it. I’ll give you something that will keep you from touching me for a few weeks.”
He stared at her with a confused look on his face.
“Make love to me tonight because I’ll get that piercing tomorrow. That will keep us both in line for a while.”
She watched him swallow.
“My shoulder.”
She shrugged. You get comfortable and I’ll do the rest.”
He closed his eyes and whispered, “We really shouldn’t.”
She squatted down in front of where he was sitting. “Here or my place?”
“Your apartment. When my mother gets in, I’ll be a gentleman and follow you home. Wouldn’t want anything else to happen to you.”
She reached out and ran her fingers lightly down his arm. “Your surgery just might be a blessing in disguise. I’m willing to bet you won’t be allowed back to work for a few weeks, and even then, you will be confined to your computer. Do you have short term disability?”
He nodded.
“There you go. Income for you while you’re with your son.”
He closed his eyes. “I don’t know how we can do anything tonight. I’m in too much pain.”
***
As soon as Cassie dropped the lock on her apartment door, Trent pulled her to him. Her arms encircled his waist as she smiled at him.
“I don’t think you understand. I’m in too much pain to do anything.”
“You won’t have to do a thing.”
She led him back to her bedroom where she gently undressed him. She helped him lie on her bed and tucked a pillow under his elbow to support his arm. Acutely aware that he was still flaccid, she knew that intercourse was the furthest thing from his mind.
Slowly she undressed, evoking only a smile from him. She sat on her knees next to him and began to gently kiss him. Each little kiss sent a warm pulse through her, but when she reached his lower tummy, she realized that she was having little effect on him. She ran her cheek over the silky soft skin of his semi-erect shaft before leaning up and smiling at him. “I really don’t mind, as long as I know you’re not rejecting me.”
“Not at all. You feel wonderful.”
“Then relax and allow me to continue.”
She ran her fingertips over his muscular legs. She massaged his feet before slowly making her way back up to the prize that she craved. Its response was minimal.
She positioned her body between his legs. Having only been with a man when he was hard, she found it strangely erotic. She sat up and admired his masculine essence, all creamy-white and pink. A blue vein visible under pale skin ran from his golden curls to the rim. Never before had she touched a man and had it remain in its natural state.
His hand cupped her cheek and she turned into it, planting a kiss on his calloused palm. A sense of peace shrouded her in a comfortable blanket. She leaned over him and tucked her body next to his, as his hand slid down her back. Her head rested in the soft spot between his uninjured shoulder and his chest. He held her close.
“I love you,” she whispered. “You have the most beautiful body, so strong.”
A little grunt escaped from his throat. “Yeah, wounded and in pain.”
She pushed up and gazed into his eyes. “Go home, take your pill, and get some sleep.”
“I’m not ready to leave you.”
“There’s no point in you staying, when you hurt.”
“If I didn’t live with my mother, I’d make you come with me. I want to spend every night with you.”
“And I with you. I do love you, Trent Callahan.”
“Our relationship won’t work. You deserve someone better than me.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Why? Why should I want anyone else?”
“You deserve someone who will take you to the opera, or some far away country, where you can visit ancient ruins.”
“You wouldn’t go with me if we could afford it?”
His lips curved
into a tiny smile. “I always looked at the pictures of Greece and wished that one day I could see the Parthenon in person. I’ll never have that money.”
She grinned. “Pompeii?”
“Oh, yeah. And Rome and the pyramids.”
“The Great Wall of China and Machu Picchu.”
“All of it.” He smiled.
“Then we’d better start saving. Maybe we’ll take a whole year and travel. I’ll get schoolbooks for Shawn and teach him. What a fabulous educational opportunity for him.”
“Do you have any idea what that would cost?”
“No, but we’ll figure it out. I could take a year sabbatical. If we combined incomes, it might be amazing what we could do.”
“You’re nuts.”
She grinned. “No. I’m in love with a man who will someday be an architect.”
“You’re dreaming.”
“Goals are dreams with a deadline. While you are sitting around healing, you need to apply to Riverside.”
“I don’t have time to go to school.”
“You will. You’ll make the time.”
“It costs money.”
“Student loans. And if you’re married to me you’ll get a discount.”
“How?”
“I’m still teaching. If it weren’t for that extra money, I’d be in the hole. The museum pay is terrible, and it will stay that way until I can prove that the museum is making money.”
His hand cupped her breast and he toyed with her nipple. “You have no idea what you do to me.”
“Absolutely nothing, according to your reaction.”
“What you did surpasses sex. I’ve never been so relaxed by a woman’s touch. It was incredibly wonderful.”
“You need to go home.”
“I don’t want to leave, but Mom will have a fit.”
“Tell her I’m staying with you after you’ve had your surgery. You’re not going to spend that night alone.”
“She’ll--”
Cassie placed her fingers over his mouth. “Understand. She’s a woman.”
***
Trent stepped quietly into his house. He turned on the kitchen faucet, washed his hands, and grabbed a glass from the cabinet.
