by Jena Leigh
Alex gasped, unable to hold her breath any longer, choking on the briny water that rushed to fill her empty lungs.
Her head ached. Her body spasmed.
Only this time, as her panicked mind turned toward the resignation that came with the acceptance of coming death, there was no brush of another body there with her beneath the water. No reassuring arm being wrapped around her waist.
This time no one was diving into a stormy ocean to save her. This time Alex was going to drown alone.
Then, in the exact moment the waters stilled and she surrendered herself to the will of the tides, Alex realized that she wasn’t the only one drifting in the emptiness of the dream.
Tousled blonde hair. Black shirt. Jeans. Faded, gray military jacket.
Standing before her, bright as day in the enveloping darkness, stood Declan.
Alex awoke within the dream.
“Hey, Lex.” Declan’s voice held a strange echo.
“You’re here,” she said.
“I’m here,” he said. “Promised I’d always come for you, didn’t I?”
The ocean faded into nothingness and she found herself standing once more on solid ground.
As she stepped forward into Declan’s open arms, Alex forced herself to breathe. The rush of relief she felt at seeing him—at finally being released from her nightmares—was nearly as disorienting as the torments themselves.
Declan gripped her tightly against his chest, his breath tickling her hair as he added, “Couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”
Alex’s laugh was very nearly a sob.
A long while later and still entirely too soon, he released her and took a short step back.
Declan closed his eyes.
High above, a blanket of stars emerged, sparkling beautifully against the night sky as the moon, an ivory crescent larger and more luminous than she ever thought possible, blinked into existence.
Alex glanced down just as a carpet of grass formed beneath her bare feet and the stems of blooming buttercups sprang from the earth, a few pressing lightly against the ankles of her jeans. Rolling green hills now spread out around them in all directions. A handful of ancient trees speckled the landscape and a low rock wall cut across the freshly drawn valley.
She smiled. “Kilkenny?”
Declan looked around. “A dream version of it, I guess. I couldn’t get the details quite right. In my defense, I’ve never really done this before.”
“It’s heaven,” she said, sinking down into the grass.
He sat down next to her. “For a little while, anyway.”
She frowned. “This can’t last, can it?”
At that, Declan was silent.
Alex scanned their surroundings, taking a deep breath as she tried to memorize every aspect of the dream. Turning to look at Declan, she realized that he was currently examining her in much the same way.
“How long have I been asleep?” she asked.
“A while,” he said. “Twelve or thirteen hours, I think. Oz wants to keep you under until you regain your strength. You’ve been in a dream state for most of it.”
She’d once read somewhere that the sleeping mind could cause a person’s sense of time to dilate, to slow. Ten minutes between the chimes of an alarm clock could feel like an hour… more, when the person was in a deeper state of dreaming.
It explained a lot.
It explained why she felt like she’d been sleeping for an eternity. It explained why her nightmares hadn’t settled on just holding her captive in limbo. Why they kept alternating between so many horrific scenes, so many painful memories.
So far she’d relived the stormy night of her parents’ deaths, watched on in horror as Vee Hudgens was burned alive right before her eyes, and fallen screaming to her knees when the security guard’s gun went off and ended Aaron Gale’s life with a deafening crack—all more times than she could count.
She’d run through the flaming aisles of Ballard’s Rare Books. Had the horrifying image of Nate, strung up and bloodied, projected into her mind, absolutely certain in that moment that he could never have survived the torture he’d endured. Stood helplessly by as Declan was injected with the corrupted version of the VX-2. Been beaten to within an inch of her life by an ogre of a man while two of his friends held her ruthlessly in place.
She’d seen untamable storms illuminating the night with lightning red as blood and surrendered to the unnavigable depths of an icy and unforgiving ocean.
And then… Then she’d seen Declan and retreated to this beautiful rendering of the place that had become their refuge.
“I’d ask you how you got here,” she said, her smile falling, “but I think I might already know.”
He seemed thrown by her words. “Kenzie told you about dream-walking?”
“It has a name?” Alex asked, turning her attention back to the dazzling sky. “I didn’t realize. Suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.”
“If no one told you, then how—”
“You’re not the first person to wander into my dreams, Decks,” she said slowly. “Although as far as unexpected guests go, you’re a much more welcome face than the last one.”
Declan tensed beside her, taking her implication and running with it. “Masterson?”
She nodded.
“When?” he asked. “And why didn’t you ever tell me? How often has he been—”
“Only once, ages ago,” she said, cutting him off before he could jump to any more conclusions. “Honestly, I’d almost forgotten about it until just now.” She shook her head and smiled without humor, a sound like a scoff escaping her throat. “Oddly enough, he showed up to save me from my nightmares, too. Though he did it in pretty much the most awful way possible.”
“What did he do, Lex?”
Alex swallowed hard as she flashed back to the scene from her nightmares months earlier. The warm, brightly lit kitchen. The smell of pumpkin pound cake and the sound of her mother’s voice, calling her toward the closed door of her father’s study.
Every night she turned that knob she was greeted with a fresh horror. A new, hypothetical vision of her parents’ demise. Every night she was forced to watch them die in increasingly terrible ways, helpless to do anything as she lost them all over again.
And then came the night that Masterson walked into her dreams and showed her exactly how her parents had died, no detail of the moment spared from her sight.
“He answered a question I had about my parents,” she said, not wanting to worry Declan with the more sordid aspects of the dream. “To be fair, though, I never had the nightmare again after that. At least, not until tonight. I just hope the methods you plan to use are a little less… traumatic.”
When Declan didn’t reply, she turned to look at him. He was staring into the distance, seemingly aggravated.
“You are planning on helping me stop the nightmares, right?” Alex asked, eyebrow raised. “I mean, that’s why you came in here to find me, isn’t it? You’re here to help?”
Slowly, Declan shook his head.
“I can’t be the one to drag you to shore, Lex,” he said. “I’m only here for moral support. You’ll have to do the hard work on your own. Hate to say it, but you’ll have to save yourself this time, princess.”
She arched a tired brow. “It wouldn’t be the first time, Charming.”
“Exactly,” he said. “You’ve saved yourself and the rest of us at least a dozen times over. By now, you should practically be able to do it in your sleep.”
In spite of herself, Alex managed a smile at the lousy pun. “And Cassie says my jokes are terrible.”
His smile slowly shifted into a more serious expression. “Just think of me as moral support. A reminder that, even when you think you’re all alone in your nightmares, you won’t be. I’ll be there to watch your back, Lex. Always.”
She stared up at Declan’s artistic rendering of the night sky. Even with him by her side, she got the distinct impression that she’d have t
o be the one to catch herself when she inevitably began to fall.
But maybe that was the point.
Up until now, she’d been repeatedly surrendering to her nightmares. Giving in and giving up and admitting defeat, over and over and over again.
Forever a prisoner of limbo, forever drowning in the frigid waters of the Bering Sea.
Alex was trapped in the moments that very nearly ended her life… and in the moments that had ended the lives of many of the people she’d cared about.
Until she learned to escape the hold those memories still had on her, she’d never truly be free.
Even if she could go back in time—again—she knew that nothing that she’d experienced could ever be changed. Certain memories could only ever be accepted. Not altered.
But limbo, on the other hand…
Alex sighed.
“How is it, Decks, that you’ve never been afraid of limbo, while just using the word makes my chest seize up?” she asked.
Declan smiled. “Because, Lex… For me? It ended. Eventually, I came out on the other side.”
And there it was. The truth that she hadn’t wanted to face.
Alex had yet to come out the other side. A part of her was still lost in the memory of those horrific moments. Lost in the fear that she might one day return again.
Perhaps it was time she taught herself to fight back against that fear.
Leaning forward, Alex pressed her lips softly against Declan’s, then pulled away before the kiss could deepen.
This wasn’t goodbye, she reminded herself. She’d be seeing him again soon. Once she returned to the nightmares, however, she would likely forget that fact.
Drawing a slow, steadying breath, Alex got to her feet.
“Thanks for coming to find me, Decks,” she said. “I think you’re right. It’s time I stopped running.”
He stood, pulled her toward him for one last, warm embrace, then released her.
“You can do this, Alex,” he said. “I know you can.”
She smiled. “I’ll see you on the other side, Decks.”
With that, Declan, the familiar fields, and the comforting sky all faded to black.
Within moments, Alex had returned to limbo.
Only this time, she had no plans to surrender.
* * *
Kenzie O’Connell sat with her back against the wall, cross-legged atop the bed next to her older brother, eyes closed as she desperately tried to maintain the psychic tether that bound them together.
The link was meant to serve as a lifeline for Declan while he wandered around inside Alex’s head. It was a half-assed safety measure at best, but the only one she’d been able to come up with before he started the walk.
At least this way if something went wrong she’d know immediately. Although whether or not she’d actually be able to do anything about it, well… that remained to be seen.
She could both feel and hear someone pacing anxiously in front of her. Cassie’s cot had been folded up and placed in a corner earlier in the day to make room for Alex’s IV stand and monitoring equipment, opening up the small space between the beds.
After roughly the hundredth pivot and reversal, Kenzie muttered, “That is so not helping me concentrate right now.”
The pacing came to an abrupt halt.
“Sorry,” said Cassie. “It’s just…. Should it be taking this long? It’s been hours.”
“It takes as long as it takes,” Kenzie mumbled, refusing to open her eyes and risk accidentally severing the link through her distraction. “Patience. Gotta have patience.”
Now that they’d actually been stupid enough to start this suicidal undertaking, Kenzie was bound and determined to cling to a hopeful outlook. She was also determined to stay bound to Declan’s consciousness for the duration of the process.
Which meant concentration.
A whole. Lot. Of concentration.
Her head was beginning to ache from the effort.
The door opened and closed, and Kenzie caught a whiff of something magnificent. She nearly opened her eyes in surprise, but was able to stop herself just short of blinking. Instead, she held out her free hand and wiggled her fingers while her other hand remained resting on Declan’s shoulder.
“Gimme,” she said.
A warm mug was placed gently into her waiting hand and Nate’s voice added, “Careful, it’s…”
She was already blindly chugging the contents of the coffee cup.
“…hot,” Nate finished.
“I will never understand how you can do that,” said Cassie. “Do you even have taste buds anymore?”
“Did I miss anything?” Nate asked.
“Nope,” said Aiden. “And I don’t know about the rest of you, but all this watching and waiting is about to drive me off the deep end. This room is way too small for the six of us to all be crammed in here for hours on end.”
Someone raised the window behind Kenzie with a jarring creeeaaak and her brow furrowed at the noise. A cool breeze drifted through the opening and she heard Aiden exhale in relief.
Regaining her focus during the silence that followed, Kenzie asked, “Any sign of Ozzie yet?”
She’d grown increasingly paranoid over the course of the last hour, worried that he might wander in to check Alex’s vitals one final time before calling it a night.
“Last I checked, he was asleep in his workshop,” said Nate. “Seems he was up all night doing a job for Grayson, then awake all day treating Alex. I don’t think he’ll be moving around again any time soon unless someone goes in there and intentionally wakes him up.”
“Good,” she said, relaxing slightly. “No one around this compound has such an obvious death wish—my idiot brother not withstanding—so we should be okay on that end. What about Grayson and Miss Cross?”
“Still strategizing in his office,” said Nate. “I could hear them talking inside when I was coming and going from the kitchen, getting your coffee. Figured I’d knock and give them a quick update on Alex. Told them she was sleeping soundly and that we’d be staying in here with her for a while. I don’t think Alex’s aunt will stop in again until they’re finished for the night, and that looked like it might be a while.”
Kenzie took another sip of the scalding liquid. The caffeine was already starting to work its magic, tightening her focus while easing the pain in her temples. Another mug or two would have been perfection, but bathroom breaks were definitely not on the agenda. She wouldn’t be able to move from her current spot again until one or both of her charges woke up.
“Any idea what they were talking about in there?” Aiden asked.
Nate shrugged. “Nothing good, whatever it was. I can’t remember the last time the boss’s face looked that grim.”
“Grim is that man’s default setting,” said Cassie. “How were you even able to tell a difference?”
“Trust me,” said Nate. “Whatever it was those two were talking about…. It wasn’t anything good. Even Alex’s aunt looked furious.”
“Aunt Cil?” Cassie asked. “Furious? I’m not sure I’ve ever even seen her make that face before. Disappointed, yes. Concerned? Frequently. Annoyed? More often than I care to remember. But actually properly angry about something? That’s new.”
Kenzie could hear her cousin shifting uneasily in his chair.
“Stick around here long enough, Cass,” said Aiden, “and you could be seeing new sides to most of us—and to yourself, too. This place and the uprising seem to have that effect on a person.”
Cassie hummed. “Like my girl over there, you mean.”
Her eyes still closed, Kenzie could only assume Cassie was referring to Alex.
“I’ve never seen her like this before,” she added. “I mean, I understand what caused it, now that you filled in all the blanks about what she’s experienced over the last few months, but… I don’t know. Lexie had already been through so much. I’d started to believe that she was unbreakable. Guess I was wrong.”
Kenzie sipped what remained of her coffee. “We all have our tipping points,” she said. “Alex finally found hers.”
Hey, Red, Declan projected. How’s it going out there?
Aiden snorted. “Honestly, I’m surprised it took this—”
“Shhhh!!!” Kenzie hissed, waving her mug around in a frenzied attempt to quiet everyone. A few droplets of coffee landed on her leg and soaked through the fabric of her jeans.
Quiet on our end, she replied. She’s not moving around as much as she was before. Does that mean things are looking okay in there?
There was a long pause, and then, I don’t know if I’d ever use the word ‘okay’ to describe these nightmares, Red… But she seems to be working her way through them pretty quickly now that she’s decided to face it all head-on.
Hold up, she projected. Nightmares? As in… plural? I thought it was just the one?
Another pause. I think I’ll let Alex decide whether or not she wants to share the details with you later, but… yeah. Nightmares. Plural. She’s been struggling with a lot more than we thought, Kenzie. If I hadn’t decided to try this dream-walking approach… this whole situation could have had a very different ending.
Kenzie frowned. Plan on hopping out of her brain any time soon?
Yeah, that’s why I reached out to you, he replied. The visions she’s having are getting a little calmer. Less like nightmares, more like dreams. I need to pull the ripcord and get out of here before she wakes up and I, uh… you know…
Cease to exist? Kenzie shot back. Yeah, bro. I know. And I’m ready when you are.
“What’s happening?” Cassie whispered.
Another violent shake of the mug and silence fell once more.
Yeah, about that, said Declan. There might be a small problem with our exit strategy.
Kenzie’s heart rate hit triple digits and continued to climb. What’s wrong?
I can’t seem to find an exit, Red. Her brother’s projection came through laced with fear. Far as I can tell, there isn’t one. I can’t sense the outside world anymore. If it wasn’t for that link you put in place before this started, I probably wouldn’t be able to reach you either.
Panicked now, Kenzie began speaking aloud and projecting her words simultaneously. “But you can sense me, right?”
