“I felt much the same way when I saw you.”
They exchanged reluctantly amused glances.
“You’re pretty good at this stuff,” she said. “But I’m still going to beat you.”
“Love your confidence, woman.”
“It’s well founded,” she assured him. “I hope you have a plan for what you’ll do if you don’t get this job.”
“Losing isn’t an option as far as I’m concerned. Maybe you should come up with a good alternative.”
She shook her head.
“You could go back to the police department,” Jay suggested.
“If you’d read my letter of resignation, you wouldn’t say that.”
Jay grinned. “Burned a few bridges, did you?”
“I couldn’t help myself. It was an emotional time and I felt like everyone in the precinct knew about Conner’s affair except me.”
“Ugly gossip travels fast,” he agreed. “But just because no one said anything to you, you shouldn’t assume they weren’t on your side. Sometimes people are afraid to interfere.”
“Maybe so. But even if Conner hadn’t been such a cheating skunk, I was still ready for a change. I learned a lot working for the NYPD, but I’m not prepared to make the sacrifices that are necessary for a long-term career.”
“Not conducive to a good family life, huh?”
“Especially if you’re a single parent.”
He tilted his head to one side. “You’re still considering going that route?”
She nodded.
“So why weren’t you more encouraging when Travis Johnson hit on you today?”
“He hit on me?”
“Right. I’m not buying that innocent act. You know very well he was interested. And you didn’t give him the least amount of encouragement. But maybe you’re still hung up on your ex-fiancé….”
“Absolutely not.”
“Then why not give Travis a chance? I’m just a guy, what do I know, but he seemed decently attractive. And he’s healthy and athletic. As a teacher and coach he’d be bound to make a great father.”
All points that she’d noticed on her own. Yet, it hadn’t mattered. “Maybe he’s not my type.”
“And you can know that after a fifteen-minute conversation?”
It wasn’t logical, she knew, but the answer was yes. She had known. Just as she’d known when she’d met Jay, that if circumstances were different…
She swallowed. “Maybe I should call him. Suggest going out for a drink. Is that what you want?”
Jay’s expression darkened. “Hell, no. When he was hitting on you, I wanted to throttle the guy.”
Jay had no reason to feel territorial about her, and yet she felt a crazy thrill that he did. “You seemed amused.”
“Look behind the smile next time. I was clenching my teeth so hard, I’m surprised they didn’t crack.”
She went to the credenza. Her movements felt stiff and self-conscious as she poured herself a glass of water. Behind her, she heard his chair squeak as he stood up. When he spoke again, he was right behind her.
“I can’t explain why I felt that way. I know I have no right.”
She sipped the cool water. He was standing at least two feet away, but she felt the warmth from his body all around her.
“We hardly know each other.” She licked her lips nervously. “But yesterday I was thinking that might be a good thing.”
“Oh? This sounds fascinating. Please explain.”
She turned to face him. “Neither one of us is interested in a relationship right now. But—we still have needs.”
Jay’s eyes narrowed. She swallowed, experiencing his gaze as intensely as if it were his hand, touching her face, her neck, glossing over her hair.
“Kate. What are you saying?”
“I’m—being pretty obvious, aren’t I?”
“I’m not what you want,” he said, his voice thick.
“You could be.”
He took a step closer and his nostrils flared, as if he was relishing the scent of her skin, her hair, her body. She found herself leaning in to him, the general warmth she’d felt earlier building into a specific, aching heat.
When he touched her hair, a charged sensation traveled from her scalp through all her nerve endings. “This doesn’t make sense. We’re adversaries. Yet around you I get this crazy impulse—”
“I feel it, too.” She lifted her head, studying the depth of his blue eyes.
His hand moved from her hair to the small of her back. And then they were kissing. Lips on lips, tender and sweet.
Then he pulled back to look into her eyes.
Whatever he saw, he decided to take as encouragement, because a moment later his lips were on hers again, this time opening to her until she gasped for breath as her desire was stoked.
The second time they separated, she dropped her forehead to his chest. “Tell me this isn’t crazy. Do we really want this?”
His laugh was quiet, frustrated, tense. “I can’t speak for you, but it’s pretty obvious from my standpoint.”
She wanted to lift her head and look at him. But if she did that, she knew she would kiss him again. And maybe this time she wouldn’t be able to stop at that.
“You know what I want from this?” she asked him.
His arms tightened around her back. “You want me to try and give you a baby.”
She nodded, the depth of her longing so deep she could hardly breathe.
“You’ll be a wonderful mother. Any child would be lucky to have you.”
Was he seriously considering this? She had to risk a look at his eyes now, and they were even darker than before, like storm clouds at night.
“You should take some time to think before you make an offer like that.”
“Maybe we both should.”
She shook her head. All her instincts were telling her that Jay was the one. His body connected with hers in some primal, inexplicable way. He would help her make a wonderful baby. And he was at the core an honest man, one who could be trusted not to make waves, or fight her for custody afterward.
Jay touched the top button on her sweater. Gently he pulled it free. She felt the heat of his fingers on her skin, and desire flared again. Raw, aching, desperate desire, that had nothing to do with babies, and everything to do with women and men.
She lifted her face to him, and they were kissing again. No caution this time, just hungry, openmouthed kissing. His thigh pressed between her legs and she ground into him, building the ache at her core into a frantic need.
His hands slid over her hips, grabbing her derriere, pulling her closer.
You are in the office, one part of her brain reminded her.
But the office is closed. We’re all alone.
She didn’t want what was happening to stop. Every touch from Jay left her craving more. He kissed her like he would possess her, then he kissed her someplace new, and the fire inside only grew hotter.
Her inner voice tried once more to protest.
Not here. Not like this.
Yet why not grasp the moment? She’d never felt so connected and attracted to a man before.
Maybe Jay wasn’t husband material, but right now he seemed like the perfect man to father her child. And besides, it had to be crazy to deny this hot, delicious pleasure when they were both free and available, with no claims on their bodies or hearts.
Her sweater dropped to the floor. She’d hardly noticed him undoing the rest of the buttons. Then her bra fell and Jay was kissing her breasts. She leaned back onto the table, letting her hair fall back, opening herself to him.
He made a delicious game of removing her boots, one at a time, and then her tights, his hands running sensuously over the entire length of her legs from thighs to the tips of her toes.
And then his jeans were unzipped and she saw him swollen and fully aroused. He nudged himself up to her.
“Don’t worry, Kate. Thorough medicals come with the job when you’re a pilot
. I’m clean.”
“Me, too. And…I’m not on birth control.” Her brain felt numb, but she knew she had to say that much, at least. Make sure he fully comprehended what they were doing here. It was more than just passion. At least, she hoped it would be.
He dipped his mouth to her neck, kissing her there as he slowly eased inside. Her body vibrated with pleasure and she wrapped her legs around him as she entered a zone where thoughts no longer existed.
Much later, as the blood slowly returned to her brain, she realized she was lying on the boardroom table, half-supported by Jay. She had no idea how long they had been making love, only that it had been crazily wonderful.
He stroked her hair. “You okay?”
She clung to him a moment, but the table was suddenly unbearably hard beneath her. “I’m cold.”
She pulled away from him and asked for some tissues. And her sweater. Slowly they each dressed, an awkward silence between them.
“I hope—” Jay started, then stopped. “Hang on a minute.”
When he returned, she was reapplying her makeup. She saw that he had cleaning supplies and without another word he washed down the table, then carefully replaced all the chairs in their proper position.
“Does that look okay?”
She nodded.
“I’m never going to feel the same way about this room again,” he said. “I’ve even grown kind of fond of those paper clips.”
She smiled as he put the supplies away, and by the time he’d returned to the conference room she was sitting in a chair, zipping up her boots.
“Kate? You’re not sorry?”
“Definitely not.” She met his gaze for a moment, then focused back on her boot. She wasn’t sure what the rules for this situation were. They had both agreed they weren’t headed for a relationship, but what she’d just shared with him felt more intimate than anything she’d ever experienced with another man.
She wondered what he was thinking right now. Probably stressing out about the repercussions of what they’d done. “Don’t worry. If—if I do get pregnant, I won’t ever ask anything of you. Not your money, not your time, nothing.”
He flinched, as if her words hurt him. “I’d like to ask you out for dinner, but I can’t. Eric will be home from basketball soon and I need to be there.”
“I’m okay with that.”
His smile was a little regretful. “Yeah. I see that you are. Look, Kate. I hope this…worked out. That you get what you want.”
Kate stood up. She’d pulled herself together again, except for her bra, which she’d shoved into her leather bag, and she could tell Jay noticed the omission. His jaw tightened, yet he couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away.
“So.” He swallowed. “This it?”
“I don’t know, Jay. This situation is as strange for me as I’m sure it is for you.”
“We’ll figure it out as we go,” he said.
She nodded. There really wasn’t any alternative.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
JAY TOSSED IN HIS BED all night. He couldn’t quite wrap his mind around what he’d done, which seemed crazier and crazier with each passing hour.
The trouble had started at the high school, he thought. He couldn’t remember ever feeling such an overpowering jealousy before. He’d really wanted to wrap his hands around Coach Johnson’s neck when the man had been flirting with Kate. He had no idea where the impulse had come from.
Then later, in the boardroom, when he and Kate were alone, she’d told him that she had zero interest in Travis Johnson. But she was interested in him. And that had made him feel like a million bucks.
As a teenager, he could remember times when he’d wanted sex so badly he’d have made a bargain with the devil, but as an adult—never. This was the first time in his life he’d made love without a condom. He couldn’t blame Kate. She’d given him several opportunities to reconsider his decision. In the end, if he’d reached for the condom he always kept in his wallet, she would have understood.
But he hadn’t. He’d made love to her with absolutely no barrier between them, and it had been unbelievably good.
And unbelievably stupid.
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Kate. He knew she had no intention of involving him if she happened to get pregnant. But in his life, things had a way of going sideways, even when he thought he had all the angles covered.
He found himself imagining her pregnant.
She’d be the kind of woman who bloomed and glowed when she was expecting. And she wouldn’t complain, no matter how uncomfortable or sick she felt.
Her first child would be a boy, he felt sure. But if it was a girl, wow, she’d be a cutie. Hopefully she’d have her mother’s red hair and those mysterious green eyes. And freckles. Tons and tons of freckles….
But what if the girl took after his side of the family? What if she turned out just like his mother, and his sister, with a proclivity to addiction and a total lack of judgment where men were concerned.
He had no doubt Kate would do her best. But one day when she was halfway crazy with worry and fright, she would phone him and put the blame right where it belonged.
“You helped create this girl. Now what am I supposed to do with her?”
Jay’s alarm went off suddenly, an angry buzzing sound, and he realized he’d been dreaming that Kate was yelling at him. He slammed the button to the off position, then sat up in his bed.
He took a deep breath. He had to calm down about this.
They’d only had sex one time. She probably wouldn’t get pregnant. And if she did, Kate would make a terrific mother. Look how great she was with Eric. Even if she did have troubles with the kid, he would be the last person she would call for parenting help.
Jay took a shower, dressed, then knocked on Eric’s door to make sure he was awake. In the kitchen he toasted waffles and poured two glasses of orange juice. As he was returning the carton to the fridge, he noticed Eric’s basketball schedule.
At eight-thirty Eric finally appeared with his jacket on and backpack slung over one shoulder. He downed one of the waffles in two bites, then picked up the glass of juice.
“I see you have your first game tonight,” Jay said. “I was thinking of leaving work early so I could be there.”
The juice went down in one long swallow. Eric set the empty glass on the table. “Don’t bother.”
The rejection hit Jay in the pit of the stomach. He wasn’t sure how to react. Should he be angry? Should he let Eric know that his comment had hurt?
But before he managed to get a word out, his nephew was on the move, down the hall, then out the door.
“THERE YOU ARE!” Nadine said as soon as Jay entered the main door of the agency.
“I’m not late, am I?” According to his watch, he was right on time.
“No, but everyone’s already in the conference room. Hannah and her husband, Jeremy, arrived ten minutes early.”
Nadine handed him a cup of coffee to take in to the meeting, and he mentally prepared himself to return to the scene of the crime, as it were, and to see Kate again. He wondered if she’d had a more restful night than he had, and kind of doubted it.
She looked great, though. She was wearing a dark green sweater and she’d left her hair curly the way he liked it best, because it made her seem softer and more approachable.
Her expression was all business when she glanced at him. She was sitting at the table, right at the spot where—
“Jay, come and meet Hannah’s husband, Jeremy.” Nathan placed a hand on Jay’s back as he made the introductions.
Jay shook hands with a slight, blond man with young-looking blue eyes. His demeanor was much more mature than his appearance, though, and his voice was deep as he said hello.
Then Jay took the only remaining chair, across from Kate.
She kept her gaze fixed on her notebook.
“Okay. Now that we’re all present, we’d better get started so Jeremy and Hannah can get back to work.” Li
ndsay, sitting at the head of the table, appeared to be chairing the meeting.
She gave him a short smile, then shot a concerned look at Kate. He wondered if Kate had talked to her about what had happened between them.
Lindsay placed her hands flat on the table and leaned slightly forward. “Kate, Jay—which of you wants to take the floor first?”
Jay hadn’t made notes for the meeting, but he could see that Kate had. Almost before Lindsay stopped talking, she was speaking. Jay was partly amused, partly impressed and partly annoyed at himself for not being better prepared.
“As you know, Rebecca presented us with three possible biological fathers,” Kate said in a crisp voice. “After determining that we had gathered all possible information about these men, Jay and I set out to find them. Jay, do you mind filling in Hannah and Jeremy with what we found about James Morgan?”
“Sure.” He’d make this short and sweet. “James—or Jimmy as he prefers to be called—owns and manages a resort on Liberty Lake in Upper New York State. He was happy to provide a DNA sample and we just received the results of the test yesterday. They were negative.”
“So he isn’t my father?” Hannah looked dejected.
“No,” Kate confirmed. “Which leaves us with two other possibilities.
“The first is Gary Gifford. He graduated from New England College with a degree in physical education. We were able to track him to his last place of employment, Brooklyn Heights High School. He took early retirement two years ago and we haven’t been able to pick up his trail since then.”
Hannah looked crushed, but Jeremy asked, “Why did he retire so early? Maybe he got cancer or something?”
“It’s possible he became ill. On the plus side,” Kate added, “he isn’t listed on the Death Master File, so I believe he’s still alive. As of today, I’ve got a few more leads to follow before I give up on him.”
Jay wondered what those leads were. Possibly she was bluffing…but, no. That wasn’t Kate’s style.
“I’ve also located the last man on your mother’s list.” Kate’s gaze landed briefly on Jay, and he saw a flicker of apology in her eyes. She hadn’t mentioned anything about this to him, but then why should she?
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