“But Jay found out about the Huntington’s. In a way, that was even more important than identifying the man. He deserves the job.”
“That’s not right,” he said. “You earned the job, Kate. Not me.”
“The money is excellent at the Ashenhurst Agency and so is the benefit package,” she told him. “Besides, I’ve already accepted the new position. It’s a done deal.”
Jay just stood there, shaking his head. She could see how conflicted he felt, but she knew she was doing the right thing.
Even more important, she finally understood why.
Why she’d wanted to have a baby with this man.
Why she didn’t have the heart to take this position, even though it was her dream job.
The answer was simple. She was in love with Jay.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
IF IT HADN’T BEEN FOR ERIC, there was no way Jay would have let Kate walk out of the Fox & Fisher offices. As it was, Nathan had to talk him into staying. Even Lindsay, who he’d thought didn’t even like him, told him he’d be a fool to walk away.
“When Kate makes up her mind, she never changes it.”
Jay recognized this truth about Kate, and reluctantly he let Nadine walk him through the stacks of paperwork that were necessary to get him on the company payroll.
He had to admit that it was a big relief to have a regular paycheck again. And the flexible hours at Fox & Fisher meshed nicely with Eric’s timetable.
Still, the job was not as much fun without Kate.
Even Eric noticed her absence from their lives.
“What happened to that redheaded cop?” he asked one night over spaghetti and meatballs. “Are you still working together?”
“Not anymore.”
“But you’re friends, right? Maybe she could come over some time.”
“I don’t think so. Her new job is keeping her pretty busy.” No ties, she promised him, after they’d had sex. But he hadn’t counted on wanting ties.
It seemed the sex hadn’t worked. At least he’d heard nothing from Lindsay or Nadine about Kate being pregnant. That was the sort of news he figured would get around.
So she wasn’t pregnant. And he was relieved. But not as relieved as he’d expected to be.
TWO WEEKS INTO her new job, Kate was beginning to think the Twentieth Precinct hadn’t been so bad after all. The last thing she’d expected when she’d switched to private practice was to be bored out of her skull.
She should have looked over the case files before she’d accepted this job. Ashenhurst Agency specialized in high-level corporate accounts, and while the jobs were lucrative, the work was largely done over the Internet and phone, from the comfort of the office, and they all involved massive quantities of reports and paperwork.
Kate missed being out in the field. She missed dealing with clients face-to-face and knowing that she was making a difference in someone’s life.
Even worse, the people she worked with were older and duller. They ate their lunches at their desks and disappeared out the door promptly at six. Maybe she wasn’t being fair to them, maybe she’d develop some friendships over time, but so far it wasn’t looking good.
The regular hours would be great if she had a life of her own, but she was still living alone and hating it. She really had to get serious about adopting a kitten.
Face it, she told herself. You miss Lindsay and Nathan and Nadine.
And then there was Jay.
He’d told her she deserved the whole package, something he couldn’t give her. She loved children and she still wanted to have children.
But she was beginning to think she wanted Jay more.
From the cubicle next to hers came the sound of a sandwich being unwrapped, then the unmistakable odor of tuna fish.
Lunchtime already. My, how time flies. Kate closed down her computer then got up from her chair. She didn’t feel like eating, but she did need a little fresh air and sunshine.
Outside, she found herself heading for a nearby drugstore. She went up and down the aisles, stocking up on a few of the essentials.
And then she came to the pregnancy tests.
She studied the rows of boxes. She was still certain that she wasn’t pregnant. But…she hadn’t had her period. True, she was only one day late. It would probably start tomorrow and this would be a total waste of money….
She bought a kit anyway.
She stuffed the box into her leather bag after she’d paid for it. Back at the office, she went to the washroom. Moving slowly, because she knew there was zero chance the result was going to be positive, she opened the cardboard box, removed the contents and read the directions.
Simple. All she needed to do was pee. So she did that. Then she sat and waited and waited.
Slowly a word appeared in the little window.
The word was pregnant.
She couldn’t breathe. She wanted to cry. She wanted to laugh.
It had happened. She was going to have a baby.
KATE CALLED LINDSAY and asked her to meet her at the Stool Pigeon after work.
“I have news. And it’s big,” she told her friend the second she saw her.
“Wait a minute. Don’t I at least get to order a drink first?” Lindsay settled onto the bench seat opposite Kate.
“No. I’m pregnant.”
“What?” Lindsay dropped the menu onto the floor. “You are kidding me.”
“I’m going to have a baby.”
“The generally accepted definition for pregnant. Yes, I get that part, but good Lord, how did it happen? You didn’t go to a sperm bank?” She searched Kate’s face for the answer and when she couldn’t see one, tried again. “Was it an immaculate conception? Or did you meet a new guy? Don’t tell me you got back together with Conner?”
“No, no, and no chance in hell.” Kate put her hands on either side of her face, not sure if she was going to actually tell Lindsay the truth. But she had to tell Lindsay. She would burst if she couldn’t tell somebody.
And then, out of the blue, Lindsay guessed. “It’s Jay, isn’t it? He’s the father.”
Kate nodded.
“I knew something was going on with the two of you. That day in the conference room when we had the first update with Hannah, you two looked guilty as sin.”
“What can I say? You have good instincts.” She wondered what Lindsay would say if she told her where it had happened. But that was private between her and Jay. Not everything had to be shared.
Lindsay grinned. “This is so exciting. I’m so happy for you guys. Where is Jay? I never would have guessed anything this good was happening based on the way he’s been acting in the office lately.”
“Why? How has he been acting?”
“Almost depressed, I’d say. But maybe he’s just overwhelmed about becoming a father.”
“But he isn’t. We had a deal. He did this for me. He doesn’t want children. Ever. He’s even considered having a vasectomy. He feels that strongly about it.”
“Hang on. I’m not sure I’m following. Are you and Jay a couple or not?”
“Not.”
“Oh.” Lindsay’s smile faded a little. “But this is still good news…right?”
“The best. It’s exactly what I wanted. I couldn’t be happier.”
“Well, then I’m happy for you, too.” Lindsay leaned forward. “Does Jay know yet?”
“I wasn’t going to tell him. That was the deal.”
“He isn’t getting involved with the child—that’s fine, I suppose, if it’s what you both want. But, Kate, you have to tell him.”
ON SATURDAY ERIC SAID he was going out with friends and would be back for dinner. Jay couldn’t think of any reason to say no. All week long Eric was busy with school, tutoring and basketball. He had to be allowed some free time.
Still, Jay wished he knew these friends of his.
“What are you planning to do?”
“I don’t know. Just hang out. Maybe shoot some baskets.” He pul
led his hat over his hair.
“Want to invite your buddies over for pizza tonight?”
“Not really.”
He could hear in Eric’s voice that he thought it was a lame idea. Well, maybe it was. Jay could remember being fourteen. That was part of the problem here. There was just too much trouble for a kid to get into. Especially a kid who’d had very little guidance in his life.
Short of locking Eric in his room for the rest of his school years, though, there wasn’t much he could do.
Once Eric had gone, the apartment felt eerily quiet. It was hard for Jay to remember that for years and years it had always been that way.
He straightened out a few things around the apartment, then picked up the phone. Nathan had suggested they might go to the gym this weekend. But before he could dial his number, the phone rang in his hand.
“Ready for a workout?” he asked.
“Pardon me?”
Hell, it was Kate. “Sorry. I thought you were Nathan.”
“Instead of a workout, would you be interested in a walk?”
With Kate? Definitely. “Same place as last time?”
“Sure. I’m leaving right now. I’ll meet you there.”
He pulled on running shoes, grabbed his keys and wallet, and was out the door sixty seconds later. Despite that, she arrived before he did. He caught up to her as she was ordering hot dogs from a street vendor.
“Ketchup or mustard?” she asked.
He’d never seen her with her hair in a ponytail before. She had cute ears. And freckles on the back of her neck. He hadn’t noticed those before.
“Ketchup or mustard?” she repeated.
“Both.”
Kate was wearing a powder-blue sweater that made her skin glow. He was glad that despite the sun, she wasn’t wearing sunglasses. He liked being able to see her eyes.
Once they had their hot dogs, they walked in silence for a while, enjoying the food and the sun on their backs.
When he’d swallowed the last bite, Jay sighed. The day hadn’t started out that well, but it had definitely taken a turn for the better. “The office isn’t the same without you. How are you liking the new job?”
“It’s fine.”
“Just fine?”
“The pay is excellent.”
“But do you like the work? Do you like the people?”
“Also, my new firm has excellent benefits.”
“Okay, but—”
“Including a very good health plan.”
He paused, realizing she was trying to tell him something. “A good health plan, huh?”
“Yes. It’ll come in handy in about, oh, eight months from now.”
“Kate?” He grabbed her shoulders and stared deeply into her eyes. “Are you serious?”
She nodded. “It happened, Jay. I’m going to have a baby.”
His gaze slid down to her belly, which was as flat as ever. Oh my God. Just the one time they’d been together, but that had been enough. He felt overwhelmed with emotions he couldn’t even name.
“Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not going back on our deal. I’m just telling you because I thought you had a right to know. Well, Lindsay thought you had a right to know. And after all we went through with Hannah, I had to agree with her.”
He was too overcome to speak.
“You’re not upset are, you? Maybe I shouldn’t have—”
“I’m glad you told me, Kate. I’m just—surprised. I assumed as the weeks went by that you didn’t get pregnant.”
“I assumed the same thing. I thought, what are the odds, right? And I didn’t feel any different. I kept hoping that I would, but I didn’t.”
“You look the same.”
“I know.” She smiled at him, her eyes shining with incredulous wonder. “This is such a major thing. You’d think there’d be something on the outside to match what’s happening on the inside.”
He squeezed her shoulders. “There is one thing. You’re glowing, Kate. Absolutely glowing.”
Her chin quivered and instinctively he wrapped his arms around her. The smell of her hair was deliciously familiar. It was a scent that could stop him cold if he happened to catch a hint of it among a crowd of strangers.
When he released her from the hug, she wiped a tear from her eye. “Thank you so much, Jay.”
“You’re sure you’re going to be okay? The crying…is it happy crying?” Maybe faced with the reality of pregnancy, she’d started to regret her decision to be a single parent. Some ideas were better in theory than they turned out to be in practice.
“Absolutely, Jay. Please don’t worry about a thing. I promise I’ll do well by our baby.”
Despite the fact that tears were still welling in her eyes, he believed her. He was glad she still thought they’d done the right thing. But his own emotions were a lot more complicated. He couldn’t come close to sorting them out.
For one thing, why did he wish that she wasn’t quite so self-sufficient about the whole thing?
TELLING JAY THAT SHE WAS expecting had been the right thing to do. The fact that she couldn’t make herself stop crying was just a sign that hormones were coursing through her body.
Perfectly natural.
Probably lots of women went through this.
Jay insisted on walking her home and when they reached her apartment, he asked if he could come in for a bit until he was certain she was all right.
In other words, until she had managed to calm down.
Jay made her tea, then sat beside her on the sofa. He was being so sweet. She thought this might be easier if he wasn’t.
She grabbed the last tissue from a box that Jay had placed beside her. She wiped the corners of her eyes, then blew her nose and tossed the used tissue into an overflowing waste can.
“This is just hormones,” she said for about the twentieth time.
“You were wanting some outward sign that you were different. Maybe this is it.” The shock that had glazed over Jay’s eyes when she’d told him the news was beginning to fade.
“Any idea when the baby is due?” he asked.
She nodded. “December fifteenth. I found this cool calculator online. All I had to do was type in the date of my last period.”
“December seems like a long way away.”
“I know.” She hugged one of the sofa cushions to her chest. “The program works the other way, too. You can type in your birthday and find out when you were conceived. It turns out I was conceived on December twenty-fifth.”
He grinned. “Under the Christmas tree, probably.”
“I wonder if my parents knew that’s when it happened. I doubt they would have appreciated the irony if they had.” She knew they hadn’t considered her arrival any sort of gift.
She put down the cushion, then had some more tea. “You know, I can’t stop thinking about Hannah and Jeremy.”
“Because you’re having a baby and that’s what they wanted?”
“Yes. It just seems so cruel that out of three potential fathers, the one who had turned out to be Hannah’s biological dad had to be the only one who wasn’t healthy.”
“I wish we’d been able to get a sample from Gifford,” Jay said. “Just to be one hundred percent sure we had the right guy.”
“But who else could it be? We checked with Rebecca. She only gave us the three men.” Kate’s face tingled as a wild idea occurred to her. “Do you remember Hannah’s birth date?”
“I’m sure it’s in the file, but I don’t recall offhand.”
Kate was suddenly too excited to sit still. “I just had an idea. It’s a long shot, but I’d like to check it out. Do you have time to run to the office right now?”
Jay checked his watch. “I’ve got a couple hours until Eric is supposed to be home. But why—” He stopped himself as he figured out what she was after. “You want to calculate the date that Hannah was conceived?”
“Yes.” Kate was already putting on a sweater and slipping into her shoes. “Do
you have the office keys on you?”
He patted the pocket of his jeans. “Yes.”
“JULY FIRST,” JAY SAID, reading from the file as Kate logged on to his computer. He hadn’t changed the password since she’d worked here, so she had no trouble getting in.
“Let me see if I can find that Web site.” Kate’s fingers flew over the keyboard as she tried various words in the search engine. “Good. Here it is.”
He went to stand behind her, watching as she filled out the birth date then clicked on the calculate button. The date that appeared on the screen, the date when Hannah was conceived, was October fifth.
“Good Lord,” he said, trying to process what this meant. “I can’t think of any university where frosh week lasts that long.”
Kate clasped her hands together and looked up at him. “This is so wonderful, Jay. You know what it means?”
“Gary Gifford can’t be her father.”
“Right. Rebecca’s husband, John, is her father. Let’s call the Trotters right now and see if he’ll provide a DNA sample. With any luck we’ll have good news for Hannah and her husband by Wednesday at the latest.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ON WEDNESDAY KATE TOLD Everett Ashenhurst that she needed to take a long lunch hour in order to clear up a case from her old job. She took a taxi to the Upper West Side and arrived at the offices at the same time as Hannah and Jeremy.
The young couple seemed apprehensive as they made their way up the stairs.
Kate felt nostalgic as she greeted Nadine, then followed the Youngs into the boardroom. Lindsay, Nathan and Jay were all waiting for them. Jay tried to catch her eye, but she just smiled vaguely and found herself a seat.
She was afraid she would give herself away by looking at Jay too often, smiling too openly. She needed to guard her emotions every second of this meeting, which wouldn’t be easy.
After pleasantries were exchanged, Lindsay asked Jay if he wanted to take charge of the meeting.
He looked at Kate. In truth, she knew he’d hardly stopped looking at her since she’d entered the room. “Kate figured this out. She should be the one to tell them.”
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