by Young, M. L.
Sure, he ditched me and I stupidly waited this long, but wouldn’t every girl if they had this kind of chance? I tried to rationalize it in my mind, and even when I’d put him down and think badly of him, something deep down within me would pick it right back up and make him into some kind of king. I wanted him, and in some strange way, I needed him.
•••
I was lucky enough to find somebody to take me to the front gate after waiting long enough, and a cab was called for me once I got there. The guard, who took my name and let me in, asked how my visit was. I told him it was great, as if to hide my own insecurities and not let him know I got stood up and sat in some hot and sweaty trailer for close to three hours. I ate the cost of the cab instead of taking the bus or calling for a ride, but luckily it wasn’t too horrible. The driver was a bit more understanding and saw my sorry demeanor as I sat there. I think he even shaved a little bit off my fare as a condolence. Maybe I should try that trick a little more often. Men do love a damsel in distress.
I walked in the front door to an empty apartment, tossed my keys and purse on the table, and plopped myself down on the couch. I turned on the TV, for it was too early to get on cam and skipping school, which I was now pissed that I broke my record for him, meant that I had no homework to do. I could finally catch up on a little TV and drain my mind away just like every other American youth.
I flipped through the channels, whizzing past the news, some auction show, and a nature documentary about the mating habits of elephant seals. The only show I recognized, a gossip show called CTZ, was on and new, so I switched to that, only to be enraged when I did.
“Yeah, I think anybody who loves action, adventure, a steamy romance will have to come and see this movie,” Kurt said in an interview.
“Steamy romance huh? Speaking of that, many women all over the country have been asking if you’re seeing anybody. Can you confirm for us here if you are?” the interviewer asked.
“I get that question a lot,” Kurt said with a chuckle. “No, I’m not seeing anybody and don’t have a girlfriend at the time. If any ladies are out there, though, I’m always open for a good time,” he said to the happiness of the male interviewer.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I said as my face and chest began to heat up with fury.
I knew we weren’t dating, and that I couldn’t get mad about that, but did he really just tell every woman in America that he was open for a good time? Was he really that much of a womanizer and user? Was I just some sex toy to him? I knew I shouldn’t have accepted a private webcam show, even if it was for a thousand coins. No amount of coins was worth getting used and possibly contracting some STD.
I pressed the power button and tossed the remote on the cushion beside me. As I heard the yells and laughter of students finishing with school and getting ready to party outside, I thought that maybe I need to suck it up and try and go with them. If Kurt wanted to be some playboy and sleep with whomever would grab his manhood, then I could play that game also and grind up on some cute frat guy and give him the same kind of servicing that Kurt experienced. I knew that any guy would be lucky to let me ride him. I was going to do whatever I needed to get over Kurt and show myself and the world that I wasn’t just some sweet and innocent little girl who couldn’t hold her own in anything.
I stood up, deleted the text conversation that Kurt and I had yesterday, and marched to my room to call Morgan to tell her we were going to break out of our shells and become the sexy goddess women that I knew we could be. I was a little nervous, to be honest, but it had to be done and if anything I’d get a little more experience.
I’ll show you Kurt, I’ll become the woman you always dreamt you could hold.
Chapter Five
I had called Morgan to tell her of something important that needed to happen. She said she was already on her way home, so I began getting ready and beautifying myself the best way I could. Short black skirt, tight white top, and a black bra that was painfully seeable through my top. I was going all out, and I wanted to unscrew the cork I’ve had plugged in for years and just let loose.
“What’s the big news? Something happen?” Morgan asked as she came in the front door and saw me doing my hair in the bathroom.
“Morgan, I had an epiphany today. For too long I’ve just been living safe and sound, and that needs to change. I need to get dangerous and try something new. Get yourself ready, because we’re going to a party.”
“You want to go to a party?” Morgan asked in astonishment.
“You’re damn right I want to go to a party. Get yourself ready so we can get there before all of the hot guys leave.”
“I don’t know what got into you, Chloe, but I like it. I’ll be ready in twenty!”
•••
Two hot bitches. That was what we were, at least in our own minds. We were demi-goddesses of seduction, and I was going to make out with some guy tonight if it was the last thing I did.
“So, what party are we going to?” Morgan asked as we walked out the front door and locked it behind us.
“Which one?” I asked in confusion, for I realized I had no damn clue where the parties were happening tonight.
“Yeah, didn’t you have a party in mind? Where’s it at?”
“Oh, well, I don’t exactly know. I just wanted to go party. I didn’t actually think of where it would be at.”
“Chloe, come on. Ask these people walking toward us. They look like they’re going somewhere.”
“I don’t want to, they’ll think we’re freaks.”
“You got us into this mess, so now get us out of it,” Morgan said sternly.
“Fine,” I mumbled under my breath as I began to walk toward the group of people.
There were three girls and two guys, all looking like they were getting ready to go to a nightclub. Since there weren’t any nearby, I knew it meant one thing: frat party.
“Hey, do you guys know of any parties going on tonight?” I asked nervously.
“Yeah, we’re going to one that’s supposed to be banging. It’s at the Kappa house on the corner of Franklin and Stevenson,” the guy, with a red plastic cup in hand, said.
“Okay, thank you,” I said with a smile as they went back to their happy conversation and kept walking.
“So?” Morgan asked as I approached her.
“I know where one is happening.” I smiled.
“You’re lucky,” she said.
“You know I had it all along,” I said with a smile as we began walking down the sidewalk behind the group of people who were now far in front of us.
•••
It wasn’t hard to know when we were getting close to the frat house. Students congregated on the front lawn, loud house music thumped out of the walls, and yells and screams from inside, likely from people being egged on to do keg stands. The house was large, with gigantic white pillars in the front, and the scattering of red and blue plastic cups all over the front porch and lawn. Was this what happened at frat parties? I had never been to one before, but I was beginning to get excited to experience it for myself.
Morgan and I walked inside and the party was more than bumping. Guys and girls were pressed against the walls making out, and I was positive I saw a girl giving a guy a hand job as she shoved her hands down his waistband. This was college, and this was the experience I saw in all of the movies before I actually moved here. The crazy youth experience where booze, drugs, and STDs run rampant from house to house. It was scary, but also invigorating once you experienced it.
I held onto the back of Morgan’s shirt as we pushed our way through the narrow hallways and crowds of people. The place was packed, but I saw what appeared to be a kitchen at the back. A kitchen meant one thing: beer. I have never been a huge fan of beer, for I felt it tasted like piss, but I knew they wouldn’t have anything else. College kids were poor, everybody knew that, and they couldn’t afford wine or specialty drinks. Your choices were beer, beer, or beer, and that wa
s the way they liked it.
We walked into the kitchen and found a little opening near a sliding glass door where we could stand next to each other.
“This is crazy!” I yelled to her.
“I know, isn’t it? I had no idea the parties were this intense. I just thought it was a little calmer. Should we get something to drink? Why don’t you stay here and I’ll go get us something,” she said.
“Okay, I’ll be waiting here.” I put my hand on her shoulder and leaned in close so she could hear what I was saying.
She nodded and faded into the sea of people. Morgan wasn’t all that tall, and her five foot one frame was easily lost as the drunk and sweaty bodies formed around her like feathers to honey. I stood there, nodding my head to the music, not because I liked this electronic garbage, but because I didn’t want to look stupid. It was bad enough that I was standing there alone, as a couple girls gave me weird looks for being alone, and I didn’t want to look like a total robot. Morgan should be back anytime now with our drinks, and I could finally look normal again.
•••
I stood there for ten minutes before Morgan finally came back with my drink, as well as something else that was unplanned—Tom. Morgan actually knew Tom, barely, and she definitely knew I thought he was pretty hot. After all, he is an all-American boy and the one that any parent would be thrilled to have their daughter bring home. He was handsome, tall, athletic, smart, and totally lovable.
“Hey, you know Tom, don’t you?” Morgan asked with a smile as she handed me my drink before turning around.
“Yeah, hey, Tom. How are you?” I asked, as I felt my cheeks began to heat up.
“I’m good, how about yourself? I didn’t see you in class today, is everything okay?” he asked.
He noticed I wasn’t in class? We had a huge class together, and I didn’t think my professor even noticed I was missing, let alone him. I was sure he was just being nice and friendly, though.
“Oh, yeah, I had a dentist appointment and couldn’t make it back in time. Did I miss anything?” I asked.
Stupid, so stupid. Did I really just ask what happened in class today? We’re at a party, a frat party nonetheless. Was I such a nerd that I would want to talk about school and class instead of flirting with this guy or dancing with him. I just hoped he didn’t think I was a total dork.
“No, not really,” Tom said with a chuckle. “I think you could never attend that class and not miss anything.”
“Then maybe I’ll take you up on that and never go again,” I said with a laugh.
“Well that’s no good, ‘cause then I’d never get to see that face.” He countered with a smile, his white teeth pierced through and lit up my heart.
I put my head down in embarrassment and bit my lower lip as I saw Morgan out of the corner of my eye smiling from ear to ear. I put my head back up and looked him square in the eyes.
“Well then I think I’ll have to stay.” I flirted back.
“Good,” he replied.
“We should go dance or something. It’s no fun just standing around and talking,” Morgan suggested.
“That sounds like a good idea. Chloe, would you like to dance with me?” Tom asked.
“Always.” I grabbed the hand that he had extended.
Tom led the way through the house, and I felt Morgan’s hands patting me on the back from behind. I swore I could hear her giggling with excitement, but it might’ve been somebody else. If anything, I should be the one giggling with excitement, for not only was I going to dance with Tom, but I was actually holding his hand, even if it was just to be guided through the house. I’d still like to think that we were just being cute and holding hands out of infatuation.
We walked into a large room, likely their living room, although no furniture was anywhere in sight. There were large speakers and subwoofers, and the music was pulsating through the crowd and rumbling my eardrums as I swore I felt my brain move inside my head. Tom turned around and looked at me as his body began swaying back and forth in a goofy way. I could tell he was being silly, trying to make me laugh, and it was working, for I couldn’t stop smiling and letting out small giggles, which thankfully weren’t met with my trademark snort.
“You two have fun. I’m going to find myself a man,” Morgan said as she left us and went up to some skinny and lanky guy in the corner by himself.
“So do you two live together?” Tom asked as we began to pick up the pace and dance with the crowd.
“Yeah, we met in the dorms freshman year and moved in together sophomore year. It’s been a great friendship ever since. She’s a really nice girl.”
“Yeah, she really is. I just hope that poor guy over there with her is okay,” Tom said as he looked over at Morgan trying to box in the man and grind up on him.
“Yeah, I don’t think he’ll be sleeping well for a week, with the nightmares and all,” I said with a chuckle.
Tom laughed, a beautiful smile gracing his face, and he grabbed my hands to get me to move more. It felt nice—being treated well by a man. All Kurt did was use and abuse me, and while I couldn’t say I didn’t enjoy our little night together, it was nothing compared to being with a guy who actually wanted to make you smile and happy. I wasn’t sure that Tom was the one, or that anything would come from tonight, but I knew at this point in time he was a safe choice, and I live my life by taking the safe bets.
•••
After about twenty minutes, Tom said he was starting to get a little hot. I agreed, for I could feel the sweat forming all over my body, and we left the hot room and walked outside on the porch, where it wasn’t cool outside, but the temperature was easily ten to fifteen degrees cooler. I felt like I was walking into a freezer, and I loved feeling that kind of refreshment.
“I’m really glad you came tonight,” Tom said.
“Me, too. I’m really not one for parties, but I decided to just go for it,” I replied.
“Yeah, I go to some, but I’ve never been to one this crazy and out of control. I don’t live that far away from here, so getting to parties is never that hard. To be honest, I’ve always secretly wished you’d show up to one.”
“You did?” I asked in shock.
“Yeah, I’ve always thought you were cute, but I was too scared to say anything in class or something. Besides, I have beer here, and can at least get myself a little buzzed so my nerves don’t take over too much if you say no,” he said with a laugh.
“You’ve never struck me as much of the nervous type,” I said.
“Just around pretty girls,” he said with a smile.
“Woo yeah, let’s party!” a frat guy in a stained-plaid shirt screamed as he and two of his friends ran outside and jumped into the street where they began to dance.
“Wow,” I said.
“Yeah, this is a little much. Do you want to get out of here? Maybe we could go to a diner or something. There’s one only a few blocks away from here that’s pretty decent, if you like stale, cold coffee,” Tom suggested.
“That sounds wonderful. I’m going to tell Morgan that I’m leaving and then I’ll be back out and ready to go,” I said with an energetic and happy smile.
I jumped off the ledge we had sat on, waded through the crowd, and found Morgan talking to the guy she had cornered before. Luckily he seemed happy to be talking to her, and he didn’t end up having to call the cops about a crazed woman humping him in public. Morgan took the news happily, and said it was about time I went out with somebody. She said she’d get a ride home, unless things went well with Charlie—the guy she was seducing—which made him smile and wink at me, hinting that he wanted to get it in, even if it was with Morgan. I laughed it off and walked outside to Tom, who was smiling and waiting for me eagerly.
“Okay, it looks like we’re good to go,” I said as I hopped down the steps.
The diner was about ten minutes away, just on the outskirts of the area, and there were a few older and beat-up cars outside, belonging to a couple student
s and a few older gentlemen who were chatting and drinking coffee. I was surprised they were out so late, considering every elderly person I knew went to bed at seven.
A waitress sat us down, and we both ordered coffee, which I only got because I wanted to look mature in front of Tom. I didn’t much care for coffee, for I thought it tasted like dirt, but I wasn’t about to drink a soda while he maturely sipped on some coffee. I wanted to exude myself as a mature and sexy woman, not a little girl who needed a curly straw with her drink.
Our coffee was quickly brought to us, and I dumped in some cream and sugar, thinking I could at least mask the dirt taste with filler items. I took a sip and realized that wasn’t the case, but stomached it anyway and smiled happily as I cringed heavily on the inside.
“So, where are you from? Have you always lived in Los Angeles?” Tom asked as he fiddled with a sugar packet.
“No, I’m from San Diego, but I just couldn’t stand it down there any longer. I know Los Angeles isn’t that much of a difference, but it’s better than being stuck down there where it’s even hotter.”
“Yeah, I’m from San Francisco, but moved down here to get into the warmth. That and I really didn’t want to be around home anymore. I miss it, but I’m glad I decided to move away and have to rely on myself instead of my parents. My brother is so dependent on them that it makes me glad I was able to get out and become my own person.
“Do you have a large family?” I asked.
“No, just my brother and me. I have a couple cousins, although they live in Minnesota, so I never really get to see them except for their pictures online.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” I said as I neatly folded a straw wrapper that was left on the table from the previous patrons.
The noise went silent, with each second passing by resonating in my head as I tried to think of something, anything, to say to him to keep the conversation going. It was so easy at the party, and now it felt as though I was scrambling to say anything to him. I saw him look out the window, a few cars whizzing by, and I almost felt the same awkwardness that reflected off his face. Both of us were at a loss for words, and that felt like a dangerous thing to have happen on our first time out together.
