by Alyson Noel
“I think it’s safe to assume that clockwise means yes.” I glance at Paloma who nods in agreement.
“The pendulum should slow on its own, and once it does, you may bring it to a complete stop before venturing a question that you know will result in a no response.”
I focus on the pendulum. So caught up in the excitement of training with Paloma again—of accessing the magick that lies at my fingertips—I decide to ask it a question that will not only result in a resounding no but that already has me laughing when I say, “Pendulum, tell me—am I in love with Cade Richter?”
I press my lips together, trying to keep from grinning, but it’s no use. It’s too ridiculous to contemplate. Besides, Paloma told me to ask a question that will result in an unequivocal no, and the question of me loving Cade definitely fits.
I stare at the pendulum, my mirth quickly turning to confusion when it starts to swing clockwise again. First looping slowly, then swiftly picking up the pace, until that amethyst stone is whirling at a dizzying speed.
Desperate to stop it, I grasp it hard in my palm. Squeezing so hard, its sharp, pointy tip slices the pad of my finger, eliciting a thin stream of blood. “Clearly it’s not working,” I say, my voice lacking the confidence of my words. “Either that, or it has no sense of humor and it’s out to teach me a lesson—”
My rant interrupted by Paloma saying, “The pendulum has only one purpose—to reveal the truth that lives inside you. That is all, nieta.”
I frown, not one bit amused.
“You must never forget that Dace and Cade are a split soul, which makes them two halves of a whole.” Her voice is as gentle as the hand she’s placed on my knee.
“Yeah, two very different halves,” I snap, the words as sharp and bitter as I currently feel. “Dace is good—Cade is evil. Dace I…” I pause, not quite ready to admit to the L word just yet, even though Paloma’s the one who told me we were destined for each other. Starting again when I say, “Dace I care deeply about—Cade I hate.”
I drop the pendulum onto the blanket, and wipe my finger down the leg of my jeans, leaving a light trail of red. Then I reach for the row of feathers, choosing the eagle, the one for sending prayers, eager to move on with the lesson.
“So, how does this work?” I wave it before me. Wanting to move past the pendulum debacle and staring in dismay when Paloma takes it from me and forces the pendulum back in my hand.
“You must try again, nieta. Ask another question this time—one that will definitely result in a no.
“I already did! What’s the point?” I cry, instantly regretting the harsh tone—but, seriously, what is she getting at? “Trust me when I say that me loving Cade is about as ridiculous as it gets. It’s revolting. Grotesque. Completely unfathomable. It’s what nightmares are made of. It’s my own personal version of hell. It’s the definition of no!”
I shake my head and scowl. Muttering a stream of angry words under my breath as Paloma sits patiently beside me, waiting for me to get back to the task. But there’s no way. I’m too tightly wound. Too inflamed by her reaction—choosing to believe some stupid pendulum over what I know to be true.
We sit like that for a while—Paloma in silence, me an angry, fuming wreck. And then it hits me—she’s holding something back.
“What are you not telling me?” I eye her with suspicion. “What’s going on here—what’s this really about?”
I rise to my feet, knees shaking so badly I fight to regain my balance. “Tell me!” I insist, the words hissed between clenched teeth. “Just say it, whatever it is. Because I promise you, whatever I’m thinking is way worse than the truth could ever reveal itself to be.”
She reaches for my hand, grasping it tightly in hers and pulling me back down beside her. “No, nieta,” she says, her voice so troubled it only makes me feel worse. “If I’ve learned nothing else, it’s that here in Enchantment, the truth is often far worse than anything the mind is able to conjure.”
four
I try it again.
And again.
And even a few more times after that—and the result never differs.
Every time I ask the pendulum a question that should result in an undeniable no, it responds as it should by spinning in a counterclockwise direction. And yet every time I repeat the one about me loving Cade, it spins the opposite way.
The ritual leaving me so red-faced and frustrated, I can’t help but blurt, “Paloma—what the heck?” I scowl, having no idea what this could possibly mean, why the pendulum insists on torturing me.
And then I remember something the Bone Keeper said.
Something about Dace being the Echo.
Which mirrored Cade’s taunt the last time I saw him:
You’ve been working for me since the day you started having those dreams about my brother … you know, the Echo?
An echo is a repetition.
A reflection.
A figure from Greek mythology who pined for Narcissus until all that was left was her voice.
How could that possibly relate to Dace?
I search Paloma’s face, in need of some answers.
“They are connected, nieta. It is all that I know. As for how deep that connection goes is for you to discover. But clearly it is deep enough for the pendulum to confuse the two.”
“It’s not possible!” I say. “They’re nothing alike!”
But Paloma just nods and places her hand over mine. “My client will be here soon,” she says. “Let’s move on to the feathers while there’s still time.”
* * *
When Paloma’s client arrives, I start to head out. But when I pass a window on my way and get a glimpse of a dark and ominous sky, I make a quick U-turn and head for my room where I stand before my closet, weighing my options.
As much as I love the old army jacket I always wear—given to me by the wardrobe stylist on a hit movie Jennika worked on a few years ago—it’s no match for a New Mexico winter. I need something heavier, thicker, something that might actually defend against the harsh wintry chill.
I stare at my meager belongings, consisting of jeans, tank tops, slouchy boots, and not much else. The warmest thing I own being the black V-neck sweater I picked up in a duty-free store in the Charles de Gaulle Airport on my way to Morocco, so I’d have something cozy to wear on the plane.
If nothing else, living life out of a suitcase has taught me to keep my belongings pared to a minimum. Books, clothes, shoes, jewelry—anything that no longer serves me is either given away or left behind. And since my last stop was LA, I’m a little deficient when it comes to winter wear.
I drum my fingers against my hip, screw my mouth to the side, and stare as though I’m expecting something new to appear. Wondering if I could maybe borrow something from Paloma until I can get to a decent clothing store, though doubting she has anything that would work. No matter how low the temperature dips, I’ve yet to see her wear anything heavier than a cotton housedress and cardigan.
I shift my gaze higher and scrutinize the still unexplored brown cardboard box on the closet’s top shelf. While I’ve lived in this room for the past several months, I still have a hard time thinking of it as mine. I guess I’m not used to claiming a space, any space.
Ever since I was a kid, all of my homes have been temporary at best. And despite Paloma giving me free rein to do whatever it takes to make it my own, the only signs of my existence are the few items of clothing occupying the closet, the small stash of socks and underwear in the tall chest of drawers, and the laptop I’ve set up on the old wooden desk—all of which can easily fit into a duffle bag when it’s time to move on.
This room is still very much Django’s, and that’s how I like it. Makes me feel close to my father in a way I’ve never experienced until now.
There’s a picture of him in a pretty silver frame that sits on the dresser—taken when he was sixteen, same age as me. And his initials are carved into the desk in the space next to my computer—the jagged D
.S. half the size of my hand. Even the dream catcher that hangs above the windowsill belongs to him, so I guess I always assumed the contents in the box on the top shelf belonged to him too. And up until now, I didn’t feel I had the right to go snooping.
Although my five-foot-six-inch frame isn’t exactly what I’d call short, the shelf is still just a little too high for me to grab hold of the box without risking it crashing onto my head. I consider dragging the elaborately painted trunk that holds my Seeker tools over to the closet so I can climb on top and retrieve the box, but then I think better.
Deciding to use some of the magick I’ve been practicing, the telekinesis I’ve been working to hone, I focus hard on the box. Employing Paloma’s advice to think from the end, claiming it’s magick’s second most important ingredient, coming just after intent.
“The universe will work out the details,” she’d said. “The most important thing you can do is to state your intention, then envision the result as though it’s already done.”
So instead of imaging the box lifting from the shelf and drifting lightly to the floor as I used to, I imagine it already secured at my feet. Only to watch as it launches itself from the shelf and crashes hard to the ground. Guess I still have a few telekinetic kinks to work out.
I glance toward the door, hoping Paloma didn’t hear the commotion and won’t choose to investigate. Then I drop beside the old box and open the flaps. Instantly overcome by a whiff of dust, must, and a deeper earthier aroma of spice, mesquite, and a few other unnamed scents I’ve come to associate with this place.
I riffle through the contents. Skimming past an old hand-knit sweater I reject at first sight, an old flannel shirt worn nearly to death, a pile of yellowing T-shirts that used to be white … until I come across a black down jacket that might be a bit on the big side but will definitely serve the purpose I need.
About to close the box back up and return it to its place, I notice a pile of papers lining the bottom and decide to go through those too. Finding an old report card of Django’s, with A’s in Spanish and PE, a B+ in English, and C’s in both history and science, I rock back on my heels and smooth my fingers across the crinkled page. Shuttering my eyes as I try to picture how he was back then—a good-looking guy with a nose like mine—an average student headed for a-not-so average destiny he just couldn’t face.
I set the report card aside and dig a little deeper. Feeling oddly guilty for prying but equally eager for anything I can get, I read everything. More report cards, class schedules, a folded-up note from a girl named Maria, who was obviously into him if the string of small hearts lining the edges are anything to go by. Eventually coming to the note he left for Paloma the day he ran away, having no idea his journey would be both tragic and short. That not long after arriving in California, he’d fall hard for my mom and impregnate her, only to end up decapitated on a busy LA freeway well before she could break the news.
I take a deep breath, unable to keep my hands from shaking when I read:
Mama,
By the time you read this, I will be well on my way, and though you’ll be tempted to come after me, I’m begging you to please let me be.
I’m sorry for any disappointment and pain that I’ve caused. It was never my intention to hurt you. I am lucky to have such a kind, loving, and supportive mother, and I hope you’ll understand that my leaving has nothing to do with you as a person.
This place is closing in on me. I can’t take it anymore. I need to get far away—go to a place where nobody knows me.
Where the visions can’t find me.
You speak of destiny and fate—but I believe in free will. The destiny I choose is one that happens in a place far from here.
I’ll be in touch when I settle.
Love,
Your Django
I read the note again.
And then again.
And after reading it so many times I’ve lost count, I fold it up neatly, slip it back toward the bottom, and return the box to its place.
Then I drag on my dad’s old down jacket and explore all the pockets. Inching to the edge of each seam, stopping when I discover something small and smooth, with a surprising amount of heft to it.
I uncurl my fingers, revealing a small stone replica of a bear that’s etched in the same style as the raven I wear in my pouch. The one that was mystically carved following my very first visit to the Lowerworld, when I traveled on a soul journey aided by Paloma’s tea. And I can’t help but wonder if this is how Bear came to him too.
I always assumed that Django, haunted by the horrific visions that mark the start of every Seeker’s calling, left long before Paloma could share the ritual with him—but now I’m no longer sure.
Still, I’m happy to have a token from my dad, no matter how small. So I add it to my collection of talismans, remembering what Paloma said just after the pendulum confirmed that I should continue wearing the pouch: You shouldn’t abandon the spirit animals when it wasn’t their choice to abandon you.
I make my way to the yard, forging a path past the various gardens. One for the herbs Paloma uses in her work as a healer, one for the organic fruits and vegetables she uses to prepare all our meals. Pausing to survey the plot of land reserved for her hybrid experiments—where strange, misshapen plants sprout from the earth, perpetually in bloom no matter the season—before continuing past the fountain and the small stone bench, ultimately stopping at Kachina’s stall.
When I spot my adopted cat napping in the corner, I take great care to quiet my approach. Still, the second he senses my presence, his head pops up, his ears perk high, he springs to his feet, and he’s off like a shot—hopping the nearby fence and disappearing into the neighbor’s yard.
“Looks like Cat still hates me.” I nuzzle Kachina’s whiskers, running my palm over her perfectly striped brown and white mane as she nickers softly in greeting. “Think you could put in a good word for me? Remind him that I’m the one who feeds him—I’m the one who rescued him?”
Kachina nudges her nose against my side, prodding me toward the door of the stall—a sure sign she wants me to bust her loose so we can go for a ride. And while I like the idea as much as she does, I can’t help but think about all the other things I should be doing instead.
Like heading back to school so my tardy doesn’t turn into a truancy.
Or, more important—heading back to the Lowerworld so I can get an early start on Richter hunting.
Before I can decide either way, my phone vibrates with a text from Dace that reads:
Missed you at break—you okay?
I hesitate. Torn between an overwhelming need to see him, and knowing that if I even so much as hint that I’m thinking of going hunting, he’ll not just skip school but probably work too, in order to help, and I can’t let him do that. If he has any hope of going to college, he needs to maintain his GPA just as much as he needs to boost his paycheck.
So I type the reply:
No worries. All is well. I’m with Paloma. Drop by tonight after work?
I chew my bottom lip as I wait for his reply. Feeling guilty about the lie—a white lie but still a lie—while assuring myself it had to be done.
As soon as he answers, agreeing to meet up with me later, I toss a bridle onto Kachina, hop onto her back, and nudge her out of the stall. Leading her onto the rutted dirt road, with one destination in mind.
five
Paloma once told me that Enchantment is a place of many vortexes. She said it contains a number of portals that allow access to the Otherworlds and that someday soon I’d learn to distinguish them all.
But despite her claims, so far I’ve only found three. One in the cave where I endured my vision quest, one on the reservation where Dace was raised, and one inside the lowest level of the Rabbit Hole.
With the Rabbit Hole vortex not only on enemy territory, but also well guarded by demons, and the cave many miles away, I steer Kachina toward the reservation instead. It’s not often I get a fr
ee pass to skip school, so I may as well make the most of it and choose the closer portal.
We make our way along a series of dirt roads, Kachina keeping to a pace that’s slow and steady until we reach an open meadow. I lean into her neck and give her free rein. Enjoying the feel of her racing beneath me, the wind lashing hard at my cheeks, wishing I could always feel as light, and free, and unburdened as this.
When we reach native land, Kachina slackens her gait. Picking her way toward the grove of twisted juniper trees—their branches grossly distorted from the constant whirl of energy that marks the entrance to invisible worlds—as I scan the area for signs of the elders, Leftfoot or Chay—both of whom I wouldn’t mind seeing—and Chepi—whom I hope to avoid. But the reservation is quiet today, so I slide off her back, run a hand over her forelock, and say, “Don’t bother waiting, I’ll either call if I need you or find my way back.” She snorts, nostrils flaring as she shoots me a dubious look. Prompting me to give her a light pat on the rump and repeat my instructions. “Trust me,” I tell her. “You do not want to follow. The journey’s unpleasant. Now go!”
She whinnies in reply and swiftly trots away, as I take a good look around to ensure no one’s watching, step between the trees, and slip deep into the earth.
* * *
I speed through the dirt. Traveling through the earth’s core with my palms pressed hard to my face in an effort to guard against the snarl of tree roots, worms, and all the other slick and slimy things that thrive in the dark. Unlike my first few journeys to the Lowerworld, I no longer fight it. Having finally learned that the less I resist, the quicker I’ll be delivered to wherever I’m destined to be.
Once I’m free of the tunnel, I skid to a stop. My heels wedged into the ground as I slowly lower my hands and adjust to the light. Not the least bit surprised to find I’ve landed on a vast white-sand beach (it’s quickly becoming one of my more consistent deposit spots) and that Raven is not here to meet me. Apparently, Paloma was right when she said he’s no longer working for me. But the question remains: Is he working against me?
