“Ugh, fine. You suck, but I’ll think about it. But if it’s a boy then his trauma for being named Marnie will be on you!” I shake my head and we all order food.
“I’m sure things will be fine hun, don’t worry it’s just dinner. What’s the worst that can happen? You get a free meal out of it and possibly a good evening, a new boyfriend and maybe a good fucking.” Martha grins innocently.
“So not going there Martha! You pervert!” I smile, but inside I know what could happen. It’s always in the back of my mind. My palms are starting to get clammy. I try to breathe slowly and calm myself down without them noticing, I don’t need them to notice I’m freaking out.
We fall into our usual banter and chat through lunch - which is delicious as usual - then pay and head back to work. I step into the elevator and hear someone yell for me to hold the elevator, when I look up I see it’s Michael. I smile softly, holding the elevator for him.
“Thanks Sweets.” He smiles. “Ready for the new job?” He says, looking a bit smug.
“Nervous but yes, as ready as I’ll ever be.” I smile softly, taking a deep breath.
“You’re going to do amazing, don’t worry about it. Your presentation was amazing so you shouldn’t be nervous.” He says genuinely. Well, what I assume is genuinely.
“Uh, yeah, I guess so. Not sure if I should thank you or smack you for giving the file to Mr. Copeland though.” I grin innocently.
“Aw come on I was just trying to help you out. You should totally thank me.” He gives me puppy dog eyes and I can’t help but smile.
“Alright, alright. Thank you. I appreciate it.”
“You’re more than welcome.” He lets me walk past him when we reach our floor. “Now this might be a bit inappropriate, but would you like to go out with me for dinner, to celebrate your promotion.”
“I… uh…” I try to come up with an excuse, but can’t find one on the spot. I mean the guy got me a promotion, besides being a bit weird and insistent from time to time he’s sweet, almost safe. I know nothing will happen again with Anthony, yet I can’t move on. Maybe seeing someone else will be a good thing. The conversation from lunch keeps replaying in my head and I feel like I owe him. This is why I hate owing people. I can’t come up with a legitimate excuse to get out of this. “Uh sure why not.” I say reluctantly.
“Really?” He’s surprised—I’m not blaming him for being surprised either. I’ve been turning him down for six months now.
“Sure, it will be nice to celebrate.” I offer him a half a smile and want to kick Marnie’s ass as she walks behind us and gives me two thumbs up.
“Great, can I come pick you up at seven tonight?” He asks hopeful.
“Yes tonight sounds great.” I’m not convinced at all that it sounds great. I just want to run away and hide forever.
“Awesome, I’ll see you tonight at seven then.” He starts to walk away.
“Uh don’t you need my address?” He turns around and looks a bit paler.
“Oh yes. Stupid me.” He chuckles nervously and hands me his phone, I put my address in and hand it back to him. “Thanks Sweets. I’ll see you tonight.” He winks at me and heads to his office, leaving me to my thoughts and to start my new job.
The afternoon goes by rather quickly, too quickly. My new coworkers and I introduce ourselves before sharing which project they are working on. I like how they bounce ideas off of each other to make sure everything works for the ad. There are six of us in the M&A department, two men and four women. It’s a nice change—usually this field of work is filled with men. I think I’ll like working with them. They are all nice and friendly and we already plan a dinner all together to get to know each other outside of work. Not sure how that will go but I have to try to start living my life.
******
It’s almost seven and I’m a nervous wreck. The only dates I’ve ever been on were with Anthony. I have no experience in dating. I’m not looking to date or to find a boyfriend. Why did I accept to go out tonight? I’d rather order some take-out for dinner and watch a movie, but I can’t back out of it now. I sigh to myself and put the last touches on my make-up, making it a bit darker and change into a navy blue knee length dress and some flats. There’s no way I’m spending the evening in heels after wearing them all day at work.
I jump slightly when I hear the doorbell ring. I take a last look at myself in the mirror and go open the door.
“Good evening Ayden.” He greets me with a simple but nice bouquet of lilies.
“Good evening Michael. Thank you.” I smile taking the bouquet and inviting him in. “I’m going to put these in some water, feel free to sit down.” I smile softly and go to the kitchen, filling a vase and placing the flowers in it. They do look beautiful and it’s kind of sweet of him. When I join him back in the living room he’s looking at the couple of pictures I have around the house. I clear my throat and he jumps slightly, turning around.
“You startled me.” He chuckles nervously.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” I shrug softly smiling.
“No worries. Are you ready to go?” He grins offering me his arm. I put on my jacket and take his arm. I’m nervous and this doesn’t feel right, but I’m trying to force myself to enjoy this.
The biggest part of the evening is spent talking about his past—I’m pretty evasive on mine. I don’t like talking about myself and I don’t want to share too much. People can be very judgmental when they learn your father is in a MC and currently in prison because a fucker was out to get him. So I keep it to the basics and leave it at that. I’m still not comfortable or ready to open up.
He’s quite sweet, maybe too sweet. I’m not fond of compliments, I’m always embarrassed when someone compliments me and he keeps doing it over and over again. It’s sweet, but embarrassing and annoying after a couple of times.
I’m not sure how I feel about this date to be honest. I’m having an okay time. It’s not the best but I’m not helping either, I’m not able to open up and start a conversation. He’s funny when he’s not trying to impress me or sound interesting. He actually seems a bit nervous too.
Overall the evening wasn’t too bad, not what I expected. I thought I would be bored and not enjoy myself, but it’s been great. I’m not saying I’d go as far as say that I want to date him, but he seems to be a good friend. Only time will tell.
He’s been nothing but a gentleman tonight as he drives me back to my place and walks me to the door.
“Did you have a good time?” He smiles rubbing my arm. I tense a bit, trying not to let it show.
“Yes it was great. Thank you. It was nice to celebrate my promotion.” It might be a bit harsh but I can’t lead him on and have him think this was a real date. He seems a bit hurt but I try not to let it bother me.
“I had a great time too. Thank you for finally agreeing to go out with me. I know I’ve been a bit annoying asking you every other week.” He shrugs. “I like you. You’re a sweet, smart, and beautiful woman. I had to give it a shot and I’m glad you finally said yes.”
“Uh, yeah…” I take a deep breath. “I should go, I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow at work.” I smile softly. He looks disappointed. There’s no way I’ll invite him in again.
“Alright, I’ll let you get some rest.” He takes a step closer and I take a step back, cornering me against the door. He leans down and brushes his lips over mine. “Goodnight Ayden.” He grins and walks back to his car.
“Night.” I hurry up inside and lock the door behind me.
I did not expect him to kiss me. I was too freaked out when he cornered me against the door. I try to calm myself down but I just can’t. It was too awkward and just not pleasant. I can’t wrap my mind around it.
The kiss was the last thing I needed. I was not ready for it. I know it’s usually appropriate to end the night with a kiss but fuck, he should have asked!
The events of the night keep replaying in my head as I head upstairs to get ready for bed.
I’m lying in bed for hours before sleep finally claims me, for a restless night of sleep. I toss and turn all night, having a nightmare about what happened six years ago… like most nights.
Chapter 7
Anthony
I’m happy with how it went with Ayden last night. Not that she’s giving us another chance, yet, but I got through to her and I know we’ll talk very soon. I’m not letting her go without a fight. I did that years ago and I’ve regretted it ever since. I’m not going to make the same mistake twice.
On the way back to the compound I take the long way home and I drive by her place. I gave in and asked her mom for her address. It’s been tempting to just show up and talk to her but I don’t want to scare her away.
As I drive by her place, I spot a guy getting out of a Mercedes then ringing her doorbell. It doesn’t look like he’s selling something. She’s going on a fucking date with that douchebag! I’m seething. She acted like she wanted nothing to do with me last night and then she goes on a date with another man the next day? Fuck this shit!
I drive around the block and wait for them to leave so I can follow his car. I’m not stalking, just making sure she doesn’t get herself into any problems. That guy screams trouble from miles away. If I knew she wasn’t going to run away from me I’d put a stop to her date and kiss her right there, claiming her as mine, but that’s just going to push her away. That’s the last thing I want so I have no other choice but to sit back and watch her go on a date with that asshole.
I follow them at a distance, making sure she doesn’t see me. She’ll be pissed if she knows I’m following them. They park at a fancy restaurant. She’s not into that kind of food. She’s more of a pizza and beer kind of woman. My woman. I sigh to myself and feel pathetic.
She’s my one weakness. I’d do anything for her. I watch them from across the street for a good thirty minutes. She’s nervous, but she seems to be having fun. She’s smiling, even though the smile never reaches her eyes. It hurts to see her that way. She’s not happy, not anymore. The Ayden I knew was always smiling and laughing, you could tell she was happy. Now her eyes are dead. Something happened to her and I’m going to find out what.
In the mean time I have to leave or I’ll do something I regret. I drive back to the compound, determined to drink myself into oblivion.
I park my bike in front of the compound and walk in. My brother's great me while the club whores try to get my attention. Unwanted attention. I haven’t fucked any of them in a long time.
It was fun in the beginning—fuck whenever you want, and whoever you want without having to worry about them wanting more. Well most of them, some of them want to be old ladies, but it won’t happen, not for them. Most of them are just happy to hang out with us and it works for us. They cook for us and give us drinks and are there if we want to fuck. If not they are still happy.
I walk behind the bar and get a bottle of whiskey, not bothering with a glass. I’m not planning on going slow tonight. I need to forget what I just saw and how much it hurts.
I walk to one of the big couches and lounge on one, drinking steadily from the bottle. Angel walks over, putting extra, and unnecessary sway in her hips making her even sluttier if that was possible, before she sits next to me.
“Hey you. You look sad. Need someone to cheer you up big man?” She licks her lips, sensually? I’m not sure, but it does fuck all to me.
“Do. Not. Call. Me. That!” I nearly growl, drinking more of the amber liquid.
“Call you what big man?” She giggles.
“That! Do not call me that.” I glare at her hoping she will get the message.
“Alright jeez.” She flicks her hair and pushes her boobs in my face. “So want to have some fun? You look like you could use some.” She goes straight for the kill and grabs my cock. I push her hand away.
“No. Not now, not ever.” I groan and walk back to the bar, getting a beer.
“Oh come on, you used to be more fun. We fucked a couple of months ago. It was amazing and you liked what I did.” Her fake giggle and annoying voice follow me.
“What part of ‘I do not want to fuck you again’ do you not fucking get? Once was enough! I…”
“Stop it Ant.” Gabe walks over cutting me off. I wasn’t done with her. He glares at me and I shut up. “And you move it.” He points at Angel. “He tells you he doesn’t want to fuck you, don’t fucking harass him about it for fuck’s sake.” He shakes his head and gets himself a beer. “Fucking slut.”
“Ugh fine! You sucked anyway!” Angel stomps away and goes onto the next guy.
“She’s a piece of work.” Gabe chuckles and takes a long pull of his beer.
“Tell me about it!” I sigh and down the rest of the beer.
“What’s wrong? Haven’t seen you drink this much and this fast in ages.”
“Ayd’s on a date with some stuck up guy in a suit.” I don’t bother bullshitting him, he knows me. He knows the only thing that can get me in such a state is Ayden.
“I see. Big Ant is jealous of a stuck up guy because he got your woman out and she’s ignoring you.” He chuckles but stops when I glare at him. “Took her long enough to go on a date though. There must be more to this than what it seems brother. She hasn’t dated since she came back and now she went on a date with a guy wearing a fucking suit? Not our Ayden… your Ayden.” He corrects himself when I glare at him. “You are such a selfish dick when it comes to Ayd.” He chuckles.
“Yeah and don’t you forget about it.”
“How could I when you kept talking about her as if she were your woman when she left.” Seriously he’s out to piss me off even more. “I’m sure there’s a good explanation why she’s going out with that guy. Man we are turning into girls here.” I can’t help but laugh. I really am pathetic.
“Yes we are,” I sigh, “I honestly just want to talk to her. I want to know why she changed her mind after a couple of weeks. I don’t know if I did something wrong or not. She won’t talk to me and it’s driving me crazy. I want to take back what’s mine and have her be mine again, but if I do it the way I want to, she’ll push me away or run again and I can’t have that. I have to wait but she’s so goddamn stubborn!”
“Well she’s not the only stubborn one.” He chuckles. “She will come back to you, just be patient and don’t scare her away. I want my friend back too.” I sigh and nod. We all miss her.
“I don’t know what to do to win her back.”
“Be yourself. She was madly in love with you, everybody could see that. She probably still is, something scared her away and she left, but she’s back now. If she didn’t care about you, you wouldn’t affect her so much. Just give her time.” I nod thinking about what he just said.
We were madly in love and then she disappeared for a week. When she came back she was different. She was cold and distant. She left without a word or a note. I asked her parents more than once but they didn’t know what happened either. It’s driving everyone crazy. We all want to find out. She was out with a guy tonight, but she seemed guarded. Maybe I still have a chance.
I drink a few more beers until my thoughts die down. I head to my room since I’m in no shape to ride home. I stumble along the way. Hearing Gabe yell at Angel that it’s pointless for her to try and follow me. For good measure, I lock the door behind me. I don’t want her skanky ass to get me into any more trouble with Ayden. I collapse on my bed, falling asleep almost instantly. Dreaming about the time I told her how I felt for her and how she felt the same for me.
The best memory I have. I just wish we’d had longer together and things happened differently. I need her in my life…
Chapter 8
Ayden
November 10, 2014
Work is dragging today. I pitched my first campaign three weeks ago and the CEO of the company loved it! I’m so happy things are looking up and working well.
The team I’m on is really nice and we get along well. We’ve been out for lunch a
nd dinner a couple of times. I always have a great time on those outings despite being nervous, but I’m getting better around them. It’s still not perfect but I’m slowly getting there. I think the fact that there are more women than men is helping a lot.
I don’t have much work to do today, well it’s not really work, I have to look through two modeling agency’s catalogues of male models to find the perfect one. I can’t really call that working and as nice as it is to look at those toned bodies, it’s not the most entertaining because the company wants a specific type of model and the two who would be perfect are already booked when they want to shoot the ad. So I’m kind of screwed.
Since our first dinner together, Michael and I have been on a couple of dates. I wouldn’t say we are dating, but if you ask him, we are. I’m trying to get over Ant, but I just can’t. Michael is getting more and more insistent on spending more time together and do couple things. I’m not into that at all. It doesn’t feel natural or right. I don’t know how to get myself out of this situation. Seriously it sucks. I feel like I’m stuck in an unwanted non relationship.
I know my friends are going to grill me about all things Michael during lunch, it’s been the main subject of conversation on all of our lunch dates since we started going out and it’s starting to get on my nerves. I love my friends but having to talk about Michael all the time is driving me nuts.
Martha is hard-core crushing on a guy named Dean but she’s too shy to confess her feelings and I think he’s in a relationship, which is a total bummer for her. So she’s trying to live vicariously through me which is not going as well as she’d like. Charline just got out of a bad relationship and she’s not ready to date again. Marnie is married and has a four year old son named Robbie, a total cutie but things aren’t as exciting at home with a kid, or so she says so they are all trying to live an exciting love life through mine and Michael’s non relationship and it’s falling short as I don’t have much to say. Seriously they keep asking when we are going to fuck.
Saving Ayden Page 6
