“And this doesn’t have anything to do with Dan Foyerre?” Ace eyed his brothers.
“Who?” Matt asked, even though Ace knew that Dan had been an old Carson-family friend for years.
He couldn’t help chuckling. “Never mind me,” he said. “I’m just a hardheaded…Carson.”
“Lot of those around,” Fiona said.
His brothers and sisters gathered around. Ace did his best not to sell them anything, but they were having none of it. Before they had left, every single one of them had bought a car.
“Omar will love this,” Cara said, patting Ace on the cheek. “Come on, Fiona, Crystal.”
“Wait,” Ace said, and every Carson in the place stared at him. “Thank you,” he said. “I know I’ve been a jerk.”
“Oh,” Fiona said, lifting a shoulder, “any Carson would have been just as much of a jerk. We’re all a bit hardheaded and stubborn at times.”
That drew a laugh from the few other customers in the dealership.
Ace smiled at his little sister. “You won’t mind waiting for Crystal a few minutes, will you?” he asked. “She and I need to talk. Just for a minute.”
Cara and Fiona looked mutinous.
“I wouldn’t be angry at her just because she told my secrets and brought you here,” he said, furrowing his brow. “You should know that.”
They looked suitably subdued. They waved and called goodbye, following Matt and Flynt out the door and leaving Crystal behind.
Ace reached for her hand. Gently he drew her into the office at the back of the dealership. Another salesman was already there.
Ace frowned. “I need a bit of privacy, Bob,” he said. The man looked at Crystal. Ace could see that he was trying not to smile.
“Sure thing,” Bob said, making a quick exit.
The door had barely shut behind the man when Ace took Crystal in his arms. His lips came down on hers in a hard kiss.
“You’ve got to stop,” he said softly, his lips still resting against hers.
She kissed him back. “Kissing you?” she whispered, and then kissed him again. “I wasn’t the one who started it.”
He smiled against her skin. “You’ve got to stop trying to protect me from the Carsons. And stop trying to get all of us together.”
She pulled back from him then and gazed up into his eyes, that deeply troubled look cutting off his breath. “They’re nice people,” she said gently. “They want to know you, want to claim you.”
He traced his fingers down her cheek, tucked his thumb beneath her chin. “They’re nice people,” he agreed, “but there are holes in our history and parts of our past that I don’t want to open up. Ever. My brothers and sisters and I can talk on a surface level, we can smile, we can do business and even joke, but there are parts of our life—important parts—that can’t intersect. It’s best not to even start. I can’t stay here, Crystal. I’m going, and when I go, I don’t want to leave ties or unfinished business. I don’t want to…hurt anyone.”
She reached up then and framed his face with her hands.
“I know that,” she said solemnly. “And I want you to know I’m doing my best not to get hurt.”
“Good.” He drew her close again and kissed her deeply.
When he let her go this time, he couldn’t quite manage to keep the regret from his eyes.
“Don’t look like that,” she said. “We both knew this was short-term. I don’t want to get deeply involved. I’m not looking for marriage or forever. I just…it was just a shame for you and your siblings to be so at odds.”
She kissed him lightly then on the lips, and he felt as if his soul followed her when she drew away.
“You’re a very special woman, Crystal. I see now what all those people were saying when they said that you could talk anyone into giving anything. I can’t believe you got a whole group of Carsons to come to Mission Creek Motors to buy cars.”
She looked vaguely uncomfortable, a sweet blush coloring her cheeks. “It’s usually pretty easy to get Carsons fired up about things. They all have a strong sense of justice. They’re good people.”
He knew she wasn’t just talking about his brothers and sisters. She was talking about him.
“Really?” he asked. “And how about Bennetts? What gets them fired up about things? What gets you fired up?” He grinned down at her, then leaned in close and traced his lips along her jaw, dipping down to the pulse at the base of her throat.
She sighed against him. For a moment she melted for him, but then she lifted her head. She firmed her lips.
“It would be best if I got back to work,” she finally said. “I guess the clock gets me fired up. And my son. Anything to do with my son. And anything that threatens to hurt him I can’t allow in my life. Even if I want that something real bad.”
Without another word, she moved to the door.
Before she could open it, he said. “I wouldn’t hurt him. Not if I could help it.”
“I know that,” she gazed at him with suspiciously shiny eyes. “But sometimes we just can’t help hurting a child. And that means we can’t always have all the things we want.”
“We give up those things,” he agreed, nodding. “All right, I’ll see you in a few hours, and I’ll pack my things.”
But first, he thought as she left him standing there, he would make some arrangements.
Hours later, he stood beside Matt and Flynt out at Carson Ranch.
“I want her safe,” he said. “I wouldn’t ask this otherwise.”
Flynt dared to lay a hand on his half brother’s shoulder. “You didn’t need to ask, but we’re glad you did. Don’t worry. We’ll watch over her when you’ve gone.”
That was good, then, Ace thought, climbing back in his car. Everything was in place. The only thing left to do was cut the ties.
Crystal stood in her office with the door closed, her hands pressed over her mouth to keep the moan from escaping.
Somehow she had managed to smile and joke with Fiona and Cara on her way back to work. Somehow she had managed to avoid thinking about how things had gotten away from her.
But here in the privacy of her office, in the accusing silence, she couldn’t deny what had happened.
She had fallen in love with Ace Carson. Even while she was telling him that they had to end it here and now, a part of her was screaming in protest. Her heart was being ripped into little pieces.
All that talk about protecting Timmy…well, she wasn’t sure if it wasn’t too late for that, too. Last night when she’d tucked Timmy in, he had included Ace in his nightly prayers. He had told her that he thought he would like Ace to read him a bedtime story the next evening. His favorite bedtime story that ordinarily only she was allowed to read.
Oh yes, little by little, Ace had crept into her life and her heart and now her child’s heart, too. How could she forgive herself for that? She, who had been so careful for the past three years, had tossed caution aside, telling herself that she had good reason for letting Ace close.
“And now look what you’ve done,” she whispered. She’d done the unthinkable. Plus, she knew that getting over Ace wouldn’t be like getting over John. For John hadn’t cared, he hadn’t protected her, he hadn’t brought joy to her life and her body and her heart. He hadn’t made her child’s world glow.
Ace had done all those things. But he had to go. She had known that all along.
He would be devastated if he thought that she was crying over him. He would think he was repeating Ford’s mistake.
“So he won’t know. I won’t tell him, I won’t let on. I’ll pretend I don’t care.”
The first step in showing him just how much she didn’t care was to send him away.
“But not to the Overton Apartments. Not there,” she whispered.
There were a lot of nice places to stay in Mission Creek, and she was very good at getting people to do things on a moment’s notice. She would find a nice apartment that would take Ace in for tonight or for this
week if he liked.
Then things would start to get better. Surely they would. Once he was out of her home and out of her bed and out of her heart, she and Timmy would be fine. They’d be safe again.
“Probably shouldn’t be here. Might get caught and taken in.” Branson Hines mumbled to himself as he stared up at the clean lines of the hospital. She was in there somewhere. He wished he knew just where.
But the hospital security was difficult to breach. Even more difficult to get past than that watchdog that had taken to guarding Crystal.
He snorted. He wanted Crystal Bennett’s world to collapse the way his Deena’s had. No one had paid attention to Deena when she’d lost her baby, but they sure as shootin’ would pay attention to Crystal when he destroyed her.
Then they’d see that they couldn’t destroy Branson Hines.
The hospital security or the dark-haired watchdog? He smiled to himself, running his tongue over his teeth. It wasn’t even a choice, really.
Even watchdogs had to close their eyes now and then.
Thirteen
When Ace stepped through the doorway into Crystal’s house that night, he knew that something was different. The pale blue-and-cream decor, the golden gleam of the wood floor still warmed him. The flowers in their vases, the candles in their stands still felt like Crystal. He realized he’d begun to think of this place not just as hers, but as a home, a home he’d been sharing. None of the objects in the room had changed, but something was different.
He didn’t have to ask what it was, either, not with Crystal standing there in the dining-room doorway looking pale and lost and sad. This was really it, then. Goodbye.
He felt the cold swirl through him. Not just through his skin but also his soul.
“Is Timmy here?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I didn’t want to scare him.”
So there was to be no goodbye there. He nodded, even though he thought she was making a mistake. Not that it mattered. She was Timmy’s mother. She got to choose. He didn’t want to think about how it made him feel, not being able to say goodbye.
But Crystal bit her lip. She knew some of it. “He’ll see you around town until you’re ready to go. I thought it would be best if we made your goodbye to him more…gradual.”
“How gradual?” This wasn’t what he had planned. He meant to go. A clean-cut quick escape. The thought of seeing her from a distance, going back to being less than a lover, was agonizing, even though he knew she believed she was doing what was best.
But when she looked at him, he could see that she wasn’t any surer than he was. “I don’t know. I—I looked in the newspaper today. I found apartments, nice ones. I don’t want you to have to go back to the Overton Apartments.”
He managed to find something that resembled a smile. “You know that I didn’t stay there because I had to, but because I chose to.”
She took a deep breath. “I know that, and I know why. I suppose if you choose to do it again, I can’t stop you.”
But it would be different now. He would be choosing to move from Crystal and Timmy’s hospitality back to a building that was little better than a brothel. Everyone would know that.
“It would be an insult to you and Timmy,” he said slowly.
She shook her head. “Timmy and I have faced worse insults. That’s not it. I just…I know Nola Warburn. I liked her when we were younger. I don’t now. The sheets aren’t clean, the rooms aren’t clean. It’s not a healthy place for a person to live. There’s no warmth.”
“You think I need warmth?” He couldn’t help smiling at her consternation.
“Yes,” she said on a whisper. “Yes, I do. I chose the best places I could find. I circled them,” she said, and her voice sounded thick. She was looking down, handing him the piece of newspaper.
He reached out and took it, trying to ignore the fact that she was visibly shaken by this moment.
But how could he ignore it? He might as well ignore his own need for air.
Ace stepped forward into her space. He slid his hands into her hair. He kissed her. Softly. Slowly. Achingly.
“You want me to go,” he reminded her.
“Yes.” She nodded hard, though he could hear the tears in her voice, see the tears in her eyes.
“I could stay awhile longer.”
“No.” She shook her head just as hard. “No. Go. Just…just go somewhere where you can be happy and safe and comfortable.”
He sipped at the tears that fled the corners of her lovely eyes. “That’s important to you?”
She looked directly into his eyes. “You’ve been so good to us.”
It was the worst thing she could have said. Gratitude. That was what this was about.
“All right, then.” He took the page from the newspaper with the addresses circled. “I’ll come get my things when I find something.”
But as he moved outside and got into his car, Ace couldn’t help swearing beneath his breath. He hadn’t meant to stay even this long. He certainly hadn’t meant to leave Crystal’s house and go searching for an apartment.
He wanted to be gone.
No, what he wanted was to march right back inside and make love to Crystal all night long. He wanted to turn those tears into soft cries of desire. He wanted to change who he was, who he’d been all his life, and be the kind of man who could change every bad thing that had happened in her life.
Most of all, he wanted to be a different kind of man. The very thought almost made him laugh. He’d spent his life running from being a wanna-be, but now here he was, still wanting the unattainable. If he stayed here, everyone would think that he wanted his share of the Carson pie. If he could, he would like to be able to give Crystal the kinds of things the Carson wives had. But no matter how you looked at it, he was always going to be the outsider Carson, even if it was only in his own mind. Crystal deserved to have a better life than that and a better man than he was.
She’d had enough hurt in her life. And being who and what he was, he couldn’t promise not to hurt her again. Most likely he would hurt her again, even if it was unintentional.
Damn, but he wanted to leave right now. This long-term slow leaving was going to kill him. Knowing she was right across town was going to make him crazy.
He looked down at the newspaper.
She wanted him to live in one of these places. He put the car in gear and began to drive.
Hours later he was still driving. Then he was walking. It was getting dark now. People were already starting to turn in, and he hadn’t looked at a single apartment.
“No point,” he whispered.
He wanted to give her the gradual goodbye that she wanted. But he didn’t trust himself to let go gradually and not hurt her or Timmy. So he had to make it fast, final, so the healing could begin. And he wanted their last memories to be good ones.
Turning on his heel, he strode to his car, climbed in and made his way back to Crystal’s.
She opened the door to him.
He scowled. “You didn’t even look to see who I was.”
“I knew it was you,” she said, her voice a hushed whisper.
“How did you know?”
“I just did.” Crystal stared up at him. How could she tell him that his presence was like a living thing that called to her? She always knew when he was in a room. There’d been no question who was at the door.
“Did you…did you find a place to stay?”
He shook his head. “It won’t be necessary.”
Her brow furrowed. “I don’t understand.”
“I know. I wish I could explain better, but… You want me to slip out slowly, to fade away like a shadow until you forget I’m here. I’m afraid I can’t do that. When I go, I want to be gone. For good. Forever. It’s for the best. For everyone. I’m not doing Timmy any favor by lingering and it’s just not my way. So when we end it, we end it here. Now. We make it final.”
Crystal wasn’t sure how she managed to conceal the lump of p
ain that rose in her throat. She’d known it had to end. She’d even told him she wanted it to. But knowing the best thing to do didn’t necessarily make it the easiest.
Somehow she managed to continue to stare into those fierce blue eyes. Somehow she managed to find her voice.
“Tonight?” she asked.
“Yes.” His voice was harsh.
“Timmy’s here. He’s sleeping.” She motioned to his room at the end of the house.
“That’s all right. I’ll say goodbye to him in the morning.”
She knew what he was suggesting. Even as pain lanced through her, desire was building. If he was to go, she wanted to touch him again, she wanted to take him inside her again.
“The last time,” he said, as if reading her thoughts. “We’ll say our farewells tonight.”
“Do you think… Is that a good idea?” Much as she wanted him, she didn’t want him berating himself in the morning for taking her to bed and then walking away. She didn’t want to be the one regretting anything, either, especially not when she’d promised herself she’d never go down this road again. Making love with a man one night, watching him leave forever the next day.
“It’s a hell of a bad idea,” he said. Then he stepped inside, closed the door behind him, snaked his hand around her waist and drew her to him. “And I don’t give a damn. If you do, you tell me no now. While I can still stop.”
His flesh was warm against her own, his scent swirled around her. She opened her mouth.
He waited.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, one last time. One time to put an end to things.”
But it wouldn’t really put an end to things. She knew that. She loved him. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t be here, doing this. And because she loved him so, she was going to regret every minute of this night come morning, and come mornings many months from now.
But not tonight. Not yet. For tonight she would not regret a thing. She would brand herself upon him if she could, so that maybe someday he’d remember her, remember this moment. And feel a sense of home, a moment when he belonged to a woman who loved him.
Crystal rose on her toes. She slid her hands up Ace’s chest, looped her arms around his neck. “Kiss me,” she whispered against his lips. “Kiss me and make love with me one last time.”
Her Sweet Talkin' Man Page 16
