Jesus Christ.
“Christ, Alexa. Angel, that was beautiful. You have no idea what you do to me.” My hands still stroked her hair and I eased my hold, raising her from her knees to meet me, gently kissing her swollen pink lips that tasted like me.
“Do you want me inside you now, Alexa?”
Her nipples tightened into hard points, her swollen lips nervously rubbing together yet again. “Yes,” she whimpered.
“Get on the bed.” I released her hand and she walked to the bed, easing up against the headboard. Hovered over her, I took her hands and held them above her head.
“Keep your hands right where they are. No moving and no touching. And keep your eyes on me.”
I prompted her thighs open, engulfing her wet opening with my lips, covering her clit and teasing her with soft nips of my tooth. She squirmed and tugged at the quilt with both of her tiny hands. Even though I’d told her not to move, I allowed it.
“That’s it, baby. Ask me for it. Tell me what you want.”
Her words were soft and timid as she stared at me while I ran my tongue across her hard nub. “Please. I want you, Tyler. All I want is you.”
“Your pussy belongs to me, Alexa. Tell me.”
“Yes. Only you.”
“Relax angel. Lay back and enjoy what you’re feeling. Let me take control of your body.”
I tightened my grip, sucking violently, air charging from her lungs.
“I’ll always be your protector, angel. I’ll never break your trust again.”
I didn’t ease up. The pressure I had on her tiny nub was strong and she was writhing underneath me. I tightened the suction more and delved two fingers inside her, keeping her between my lips. I fucked her hard with my fingers as I growled against her clit, her eyes fighting to stay open. Lapping at her sweet sex, I lowered my lips, nipping at the inside of her thigh.
“Tyler!” she gasped. Her body arched off the bed, her cheeks flushing as her eyes began glazing over.
“That’s it. Let go, baby.” I took her clit between my lips again, sucking, my fingers still pounding inside her.
It was happening. I wasn’t even inside her yet, but her eyes began closing. Sinking upward. She was heading into subspace.
“That’s it, baby. I have you. Do what your body tells you. Let go, sweetheart.”
* * * *
Alex
I didn’t understand. What I was feeling wasn’t normal. This wasn’t the first time Tyler had licked me into an intense orgasm. His lips were still suctioned over me. His grip was tight as I rocked against the ferocious plunges of his fingers. Brutal, almost to the point of painful, I thrashed, arching, biting back screaming out loud. I was lightheaded and the look in his eyes was one of savage hunger. And ultimate power. Why did I feel so tired?
Oh, Jesus. I was coming on his mouth. It wasn’t the first time I had done that either, but something about this time was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I had no sense of direction over my body. The same body he once told me he planned on teaching me how to control. I hoisted myself up further and pushed my hips even harder against him, erupting into a long deliriously fierce orgasm, shattering me into boundless tiny pieces as I whimpered his name. There was nothing left to fight. I could barely move.
“Umm…” I whimpered, heavy with exhaustion as my glare stayed latched onto his. I plummeted against him, weightless and drained. I felt faint as my strength faded. My body went limp, my eyes blurring as everything went dark…
When I finally pried open my heavy eyes, they felt like they weighed a million pounds. I’d just experienced the orgasm of my life with Tyler, and he wasn’t even inside me.
His long fingertips rested on top of my stomach, his thumb rubbing gently around my sweat-laced skin.
“Hey, baby.” He smiled, gently brushing my hair behind my ear. “How do you feel?”
“Okay. I think. What happened? Did I fall asleep?” I did feel tremendously tired and that thought embarrassed me, but Tyler smiled, pressing his lips against the tip of my nose, before lowering them to my mouth and kissing me slowly and passionately, easing any leftover anxiousness the minute he looked in my eyes. He slowly rolled over on top of my spent body.
“What happened baby, was submission. That was submission.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Alex
Thoughts of a hot bath nudged at my thoughts as I finished up the last Godiva dark chocolate in the sixteen-piece box, barely moving a muscle as I reclined on my couch. I pulled the red throw blanket that my mother gave me years ago up to just underneath my chin. It was funny how something as simple as a blanket made me feel secure and loved on a day I was feeling strangely out of sorts.
Rain was pelting from the blackened skies in long, horizontal sheets, the eerie, blasting clap of thunder suddenly lifting me straight up and off the couch, sounding more like a small explosion. I sipped on orange pekoe hot tea, watching the storm through the mini-blinds, the cascades of rain and gusts of wind blowing branches and leaves all over the neighborhood yards and pavement.
Submission. Subspace. Hot, amazing sex was submission? Tyler had the ability to cause me to literally black out? How was that possible? Was it even healthy? The last thing I remembered after everything became a blur, was waking up to Tyler telling me I’d entered subspace.
And then … running.
After he explained subspace and more about the concept of submission, I’d run like a scared child. It scared me like hell. I’d never been a passive or dutiful kind of person. I was strong. And independent. Yet, I got up and ran out of my own house. Tyler didn’t try stopping me, only watching through the blinds as I got in my car and drove off. And so far, I hadn’t heard from him. Now, it was eating at my insides.
****
Straight up 6 PM, the storm had blown over and I was sitting in the parking garage beside Tyler’s car. My chest fluttered with nervousness, hoping I’d made the right decision in coming to his office without any notice. My hands shaking, I stared at the text I’d just sent.
I’m in the parking garage. Can we talk?
Surprisingly, his response was quick. And short.
I’m in my office.
The high-rise building was eerily empty and quiet as I stepped into the elevator and headed up. With only a small lamp lighting up the reception area, I headed to Tyler’s office in hopes he’d give me a chance to explain.
“Come in, Alexa.” He lowered his glasses and shut his laptop. Jeez, he looked hot in those. Dressed in black jeans and a t-shirt, I wondered when he had changed from his scrubs. And why.
“How are you, Alexa?” His mood distant and nonchalant, his monotone voice still made me writhe with need, as it always had.
“I’m sorry, Tyler. Sorry for leaving. I… I panicked.” My face tingled with modesty as he glared at me, disappointment prominent in his gaze. He took a deep drink from a bottle of water.
“Sorry for leaving, Alexa? Wasn’t it more like hauling ass? In my eyes, it seemed like you had just seen a fucking alien. You couldn’t get away from me quickly enough.”
The small slit between his eyes narrowed as his face covered in a frown. I guess it probably had seemed pretty asinine for an adult woman to leave her own home.
“I said I was sorry, Tyler. Can’t you please just explain it all to me a little more? Make me understand, because really—I don’t. Would you expect me to wear a collar? Would you want to whip me every time I say something you don’t like? Would you leave the first time I make a mistake?”
I choked on that last question, and he didn’t respond. His eyes were hard and still, as my gaze deflected toward a small photo in a corner of a large bookshelf. Tyler and Mason were standing on a sandy beach, both young and smiling. Tyler’s arm was thrown over his younger brother’s shoulder.
“I love that picture.”
Tyler remained still and quiet, his gaze like ice. Other than the tapping of his thumb against his desk, there was nothing but hard si
lence. His eyes cut straight through me. Was he going to say anything at all? Or just keep looking at me with his despondent eyes while giving me the silent treatment?
I hated that things were weird between us, but I had to know exactly where we stood. As much as I loved the spanking and controlling behavior … subspace, and everything from that evening, there was no way I was going to give in to being whipped with thick leather straps and chained with painful torture devices, and the thought of being collared … well, it just wasn’t even a remote possibility. That wasn’t for me.
“Alexa, my eyes. Look at me,” he snapped. Quickly, I did as he said, turning back to face him. There almost appeared to be a small smile breaking across his lips, although once our eyes reconnected, it disappeared. We sat for what seemed like minutes, or hours, staring at each other before he spoke again.
“As for your questions, Alexa. If I didn’t find you incredibly cute, I’d tell you this conversation so far was ludicrous. Are these assumptions you’ve dreamed up due to more googling on your part?” The perfectly still set of lips seemed to be holding back a small smile, but of course I could have been imagining that. Tyler’s mannerism and facial characteristics were hard to read at times, which I knew was exactly the way he liked it. I had googled it! So what? It wasn’t like I had someone to call up and run these kinds of questions by. Although Justin had crossed my mind.
I shrugged off his question, staring down at my chipped nails that desperately needed manicuring.
“Angel, listen to me.” I reluctantly raised my head to meet his eyes. “This is who I am.” I turned from him again, feeling a small sense of dread at where this conversation may or may not be headed.
“Alexa, do you not agree that last night was amazing? You certainly seemed to enjoy it at the time. Was I wrong in that assumption?”
“Yeah, it was amazing. But submission, Tyler? BDSM? I need to understand more about your needs. I’ve only been sexually active with one other person. Other than fooling around some in high school and college, Ryan was my first and only. I’m just not familiar with anything other than…” My head dropped into my chest, shyness keeping me from finishing my sentence.
“Alexa.” My eyes darted back to his at the sound of his gruff voice.
“I am a Dominant, which means I enjoy the obligation of getting my submissive to that one place to acquire the thrill they desire. Getting them to that point is total gratification for a man like me.” His gaze swept over my face.
“You need more than missionary sex, Alexa. You’re not vanilla. It’s obvious in every move you make, angel. That doesn’t make you a bad person. You’re just out of sync with the needs of your body.”
“Out of sync,” I repeated.
“Your past nitwit of a lover didn’t give you what you wanted or needed. That’s a fucking shame… for him.”
I sighed. “Maybe.” In all truth, I knew I needed more. I craved that gratification. Tyler was right. Ryan hadn’t given me what I needed. Our bedroom action didn’t even merit vanilla. It was more like bland and altogether flavorless.
“I just don’t want to be collared and led around like a helpless, weak female—or tortured. Who would do those things?”
“Tortured? Really?” His voice was gruff, but not disrespectful. “More completely inaccurate internet information, Alexa. Please. Don’t insult my intelligence.”
I didn’t respond. He rose from his chair and walked toward the front of his desk, sitting down on the edge in front of me.
“Angel, first off, the internet is full of ridiculously false misleading bullshit. Surely you know that. The misconception that people who indulge in the lifestyle are all damaged or mentally fucked up is an asinine falsification. Lovers of BDSM can be your neighbors, your child’s math teacher, or the lady next to you in the checkout line of the grocery store. It’s simply a facet of a person’s sexual desires. And secondly, submission doesn’t always mean collaring and torture devices. I have no enthusiasm whatsoever in torturing you or collaring you, even though the thought of a neckband around your beautiful throat sounds quite interesting.” His lip raised into a sexy smile.
“I’m what is called a sensual Dominant. I enjoy using toys and playing, but for the most part, I’m not into inflicting pain other than an occasional spanking, which I think you rather enjoyed. I have no intentions on punishing you, belittling you, or treating you like some kind of trained pet.” I felt myself blush as he stood and paced the floor, finally returning to edge of the desk.
“For me, dominance is about control and discipline. It’s learning to be yourself. Having an open mind to people’s preferences is key, and I only involve pain if it’s something you want. If it’s something to get you to that one point of complete satisfaction. I want to care for you. Protect and cherish you. I want your complete trust.” His gaze was intense on my face.
“Everything between a Dom and his submissive is always negotiated ahead of time, Alexa. Limits are discussed when a new relationship is building. That’s something that is crucial for that deep connection. A submissive doesn’t simply walk into a scene without being fully aware, unless she’s very experienced and knows what her Dom expects. Does this make things more clear?”
“Yes,” I answered in little more than a whisper.
“So, tell me. What exactly do you want? Lay out your needs, Alexa.”
My needs… What exactly were they? I hadn’t ever really considered them.
“But Becca. She had marks on her when she was found. You put those there.”
His face eased into an unexpressive veil. “Yes. I did restrain Becca. You already know this, but I’m not some goddamn sadist, Alexa. Your cousin wanted that. She requested the binding. She enjoyed the pain. She was very captivated by submissive behavior. But what works for one couple doesn’t necessarily make it a binding factor. People are different. Relationships vary. They aren’t all textbook. As I’ve already explained, I don’t get off on inflicting pain. And you aren’t your cousin. Not that there’s anything wrong in any of that if it’s something two people enjoy, but it’s not my personal preference. It’s all about the power for me. Influence. And control. It’s learning the ins and outs of a person so deeply that the things you do together become a matter of respect.”
A small sense of optimism filled my chest at his sensual words, my body becoming ridiculously moist.
“And lastly Alexa … I’m not going anywhere.”
“So maybe we could come up with a happy medium?” I smiled as he rose from the edge of the desk, taking my hand and helping me up. He leaned his forehead over mine, kissing the tip of my nose.
“If that’s what you’re searching for, I think we can work with that. Precisely what is your happy medium, angel? Be open with me and think of your past, and all it lacked. I believe you want someone taking the upper hand. Taking care of you. Cherishing you. I can give you all those things.”
My heart suddenly pounded in my chest. Already, I knew the answer to his question. I wanted to learn my needs and wants—from Tyler.
“I just want someone who wants me back. Unconditionally. A strong man who will take me and love me and show my body things even I didn’t know it wanted. Someone strong who wants to love me gently, yet love me hard and rough at the same time. I want … everything. I want to submit, Tyler.”
I said it. Holy hell!
His mouth landed on mine as he steadied his arms around me, lowering them around my butt, his hard erection straining against my belly. His tongue was forceful, tangling it around mine as he kissed me over and over, feeding on my mouth. He simply … fed.
“Come home with me, Alexa. Let me give you your happy medium. If you want to learn, I want to be the man to teach you.”
I took his hands, squeezing, not sure what to expect. All I knew for certain was that I wanted more of what he just did to my mouth.
“Okay. Show me.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Tyler
Alexa a pyr
amid of nerves, I wanted her confidant that everything was going to be okay. I silently vowed to visit the Arlington PD first thing tomorrow and end this fiasco regarding Becca.
“Angel,” I whispered into her vanilla-scented hair. “It’s all going to be wonderful. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise you. Trust me.” The rapid beating of her pulse raced violently underneath her thin shirt as she moved against me tightly, the look on her face pleading for reassuring promises.
I bowed over her, placing small kisses on top of her head and rubbing her back, because, motherfucking hell, I couldn’t help myself. All the fucking I’d shared with women over the years, Alexa was the first whose feelings I regarded on such an intense level. Finally, she backed up, and for a long tense moment, she stared up at me with her moist blue eyes inundated with questions.
“What do I do now?” she asked, nervously pushing at her hair. “Are you going to tie me up? Spank me again?” Oh, sweetheart, you know you loved the feel of my hand smacking your ass.
Blocking the gap between us, the small stab of something deep running through my chest, I gave her a small hint of a grin. While I was enjoying her shy side and inquisitiveness, she licked her lip again like she always did, and I returned my most serious face, all of a sudden curious where we’d be as a couple in the next two hours.
“No, Alexa. That seems so trite. I was thinking something more along the lines of digging out a choke collar and using a leather strap on your ass instead of just my hand.” I smiled at her again, letting her know I was only teasing, trying to lighten the terror behind her eyes. She reddened before returning my smile. God, I loved it when she did that.
In the bedroom doorway, we were both still wearing way too many clothes, when in past times I would have insisted a woman strip. But I wanted Alexa secure for now, so I’d take things slow. There needed to be that small slight edge, but she also needed to feel confident that everything we did was for both our benefit, not just for my own needs and pleasure.
Pink Lilies (Beautiful People Book 1) Page 16
