As I walked the snow began to cover my bestial footprints. It drove into my face as if it was trying to drive the evil in me from the world, and the wind was strong, trying to force me back. I pushed on, ever aware of the dead weight in my arms. The night was bitterly cold but my fur kept me warm, though I would have rather suffered the cold in human form if I had the choice than spend the night as the monster I was.
Finally I came to the same field where Fiona had died, thinking that if they ever found her they’d assume ‘the rogue wolf’ had killed her, and that it had taken up residence in the woods. The Slayers wouldn’t believe that, and the fact she had been sleeping at our house could not be overlooked, by either Slayers or the police. Unless they found the body and pronounced it the work of an animal, there was nothing I could do to completely avoid police suspicion. I just had to hide the evidence as best I could. But I feared that the Slayers would also not overlook the fact that it had been a full moon when she went missing. If they discovered what I was my family and I were doomed.
The soil was hard in the field, frozen over, and a layer of snow covered it. I had the strength to dig into the soil but long I had to labour to dig down deep enough, and precious time was lost. I was hoping her body would never be discovered, knowing it would inevitably lead the Slayers to me. So I dug deeper than most humans could reach without aid of machinery, and then ripped off the blood soaked towels and carefully lowered her into the hole and laid her to rest. At that point I felt a great hunger that I had not noticed while my mind was bent on hiding the corpse. I looked on her small form and saw her as prey as the wolf had done, not as appetising now that her flesh was frozen over, but satisfactory. This sickened me and then I began to really feel the horror of what I had done. She had been so young with so much to live for, her whole life ahead of her. And because of me she was no more. Roaring with rage at myself, I carefully laid the towels over her small form so that they covered her from head to foot, and began to fill in the hole. Filling it in was easier and soon the snow began to cover it over again, so that only someone looking for it who knew it was there could possibly have found it.
I stood watch over the grave for most of the night, mourning for all those who had died at the jaws of the wolf, including myself. Fiona’s body might have been moved, but she had died there. It wasn’t hard for my guilty imagination to hear their voices screaming in the howling wind. I can still hear them to this day, screaming in pain, screaming in terror, screaming for the help that never came. Screaming for all eternity as if their very souls were trapped in my head, the terrible sound reverberating endlessly round my skull. I crouched down and covered my ears, whimpering.
“Leave me alone!”
It would have been a scream if I was human, but the sound came out bestial, more like a roar.
“I never wanted this! I never meant to hurt anyone, please leave me alone. I didn’t want this, not this.”
But I had wanted it. Hadn’t I spent most of my childhood wishing I was a werewolf? As a young boy I used to stand by my window, staring longingly at the moon. In all our childhood games I’d been the monster, slashing my friends with imaginary claws, and now it had become reality and I hated it.
“I never wanted to be a killer,” I whispered. There was no reply. The wind ravaged me with renewed strength, and I closed my eyes against the force of it. I couldn’t stay there any longer. I couldn’t bear to listen to those imaginary voices of the dead, and the cold was piercing me to the bone now, despite my thick pelt, driving out the warmth until I might as well have been another corpse lying there.
There was roughly only an hour left till daybreak. I couldn’t stay there but I wasn’t ready to go home yet either. It would be some time yet before Amy discovered her friend missing. She usually slept in till lunchtime given the chance, and her friends were the same.
I walked off aimlessly, feeling lost with nowhere to go, and alone. Before long I found myself in the park, where there was a horse racing course. There was also a playground, a tennis court, lots of space for walking dogs or playing football, and a lake, large enough and deep enough for peddle and rowing boats, with a small island in the middle for the ducks to nest in. It was by the lake I found myself. I came to a stop at the water’s edge, aware that my mouth was still wet with her blood. The lake had frozen over, so I punched a hole through it and gratefully lapped at the pure liquid until the salty, coppery taste went away.
The snow was still falling but a thin layer had formed in the cloud cover. Moonlight shone through the veil, though still weak, as if it was determined to make one last stand before it sunk beneath the horizon and the sun rose to take its place. I saw my reflection in the circle of water I had created in the ice, and looked upon the monster I had become for the first time.
My face held no hint of the boy I had been, all human features gone. The first thing I noticed, as I mentioned before, was my pelt was not one solid colour like the werewolves of films, but a mixture of greys, browns, blacks and whites like a true timber wolf, with the same markings they had. The fur was mostly dark grey on the top half of my face and my head. It lightened to brown on top of my snout, with a dark greyish brown streak running through the middle, down to my black nose, and a light greyish brown around my pale amber eyes. The bottom half was a lighter, dirty white, like the snow I ran upon after humans had trudged through it in the day. It was the same colour on the inside of my ears.
Around my neck it was the same dark grey as my head, with a lighter patch of the same dirty white colour on my throat, ending in a v shape at my collarbone. The dark grey covered my shoulders, the top of my chest, my back and sides, the tops of my thighs and my tail. The rest of my body was a kind of a creamy white. The monster looked at me with sad, empty eyes, lost in despair. But as I looked a change came over those eyes, so quick it was no more than a flicker of emotion, when they hardened, grew colder and full of hunger, and a flash of teeth revealed the other half of my personality. The moonlight had grown stronger again for a second and now that I had hidden the wolf’s kill it wanted to find someone else and feed before the night was over. It angered me, and with a roar I swiped at the water, spraying it out across the ice. The reflection was driven away and I turned my back before it reappeared, wishing I could do the same to the wolf.
The moon was breaking free of the clouds and its light was growing stronger again. I wrestled with the wolf’s consciousness, but it was no use. Coupled with the smell of blood, it grew too strong for me and I gave up, knowing someone else would die.
I was too hungry to bother completing the transformation. The scent of blood was blowing to me on the wind, calling me to hunt. I obeyed and followed the trail at a run, without thinking.
Drops of blood on the snow, next to a bloody piece of glass from a broken beer bottle, and paw prints. The scent was that of a young bitch, a mongrel, who had evidently cut herself on the glass. From the size of the paw prints she was big enough to be a meal rather than a snack. However, she was not a stray, as another set of prints ran beside hers: her human master. I drooled at the scent of the blood and quickened my pace.
And suddenly they were there just ahead of me, and I was bounding across the snow on all fours, focused on the dog, which was limping, her blood strong in my nostrils, spurring me onwards. The bitch must have sensed me coming, for she was suddenly uneasy and turned her head this way and that searching for a scent, then turned around and saw me. She yelped and strained against her master's chain. He would not release his grip on the lead and by the time he turned around it was too late, I was leaping through the air onto his pet. I landed on her but the man aimed a kick at me and I overbalanced, rolling off. I rose, snarling, and pushed him aside, at which point the dog attacked me and bit deep into my arm. I threw her off and she landed awkwardly on the ground, whining in terror. The man had fallen, but was picking himself up again, and it seemed he would fight to save his pet rather than run. But what happened next was too quick for him, for I was on
the dog and had ripped her throat out, and now crouched over her, greedily devouring her flesh.
Within a few minutes I had stripped her to the bone, and then turned to snarl a warning at the man lest he try anything else. He simply stood holding his dog's lead, which I had bitten through, staring at it. I took my leave as the sun was coming up and stood in an alleyway as I was forced to become human again, but the sun was casting a shadow on the snow before the man, and he watched with horror as the shadow changed from something half wolf, half man to the shadow of a teenage boy. And then I realised my error as the human regained control...
Chapter Thirteen
Guilty
I shivered in the cold, panting, aware of fresh blood in my mouth. And my hunger pangs had lessened. I’d killed again as I knew I would.
This information hit me when I suddenly became aware of a voice nearby. I was in a narrow alley with a wall at one end: trapped if I’d been mortal. A man stood near the entrance to the alley. The voice belonged to him, and he was either on the phone or talking to himself. I caught him peering into the shadows and shrank back against the wall, hoping he hadn’t seen my face. I heard him ask for the police and give them a description of the monster I had been, claiming that I had attacked his dog. And then nothing – silence save for his rapid heartbeat and his wheezing.
I looked back at the wall and knew I would have to climb it if I was going to escape, but only after I’d satisfied my curiosity. I wondered what the police would do when they heard the man’s description of me; whether one of the Slayers within the police force might come out, give me a valuable insight into how they worked, anything to help me survive, and through me my family. I wished they’d hurry up, my feet were going numb.
Soon after the man had made the call the police came to the scene to investigate.
"So tell us again what happened sir," said a policewoman.
"I was out walking me dog and we were just going down this street when she started acting pretty strange. She was, I dunno, uneasy, afraid of something. And then she turned to look at something and yelped. She was panicking, it was a struggle to keep hold of the lead, the pissin’ thing was slipping through my fingers. I couldn’t understand what had spooked her so damn much so I turned round too and this great big bloody wolf was coming towards us. At least, I thought it was a wolf. The damned thing pounced and pinned her to the ground. That’s when I decided it was the beast that’s been attacking the town, killing all them people.
“Well I wasn’t just gonna stand there and let it eat me dog so I went to kick it. And then I realised it wasn’t a wolf. I didn’t know what the hell it was at that point. I mean, it was wolfish, but everything was happening too fast for me to get a close enough look. The thing overbalanced and rolled off. It was pissed off then. I thought it was gonna attack me but it just pushed me outta the way and I fell over. Me dog got over the panic when she realised I could be in danger and she bit the thing in the arm. It threw her off and she landed awkwardly on the ground. I stood up again to help her out, like she helped me you know? But it had ripped her throat out before I could react and then before I knew it the damn thing was eating her!
“Well it stripped her to the bone and then turned to me. I stood holding her lead like a fucking idiot, too shocked by what had happened to do anything. Then the sun came up and it walked off into that alley,” he said, pointing. “And here’s where it gets weird. ’Cause I got a clear view of it see. And I swear to God this is true. It was half man, half wolf! It had a wolf's head and its body was all covered in fur, but the body was a man’s, except for the wolf's tail. And the hands and feet were more like an animal, with claws and everythin’. It walked weird too, like it was halfway between walking on all fours and walking erect on two, stooped over like a hunchback with its knees bent. But it had run on all fours when it first attacked. And it gets weirder. I couldn’t see it after it went in there, but the sun cast a shadow on the snow at the mouth of the alley. I watched that shadow change shape, and this wasn’t no trick of the light. It went from being the shadow of that thing to the shadow of some regular guy! Maybe even a kid ’cause the shadow was pretty small for an adult, but it could just have been the way the sun was shining. Anyway, the alley is a dead end and I ain’t seen it come out.”
"You were attacked by a werewolf?” she asked him in disbelief. “What kind of sick joke is this? You told us you’d found the man-eater. Now if you’re done wasting police time, we could be out searching for the real killer.”
"The bastard son of a bitch killed my dog! Look, the remains are over there! Isn’t that enough evidence for you? And look at the footprints in the snow!"
"Clearly something attacked your dog but I refuse to believe it was a werewolf, not even if you had some real proof. And the prints are already filling in with snow, it’s impossible to tell now what they came from. They look like regular animal prints to me, could be from a large dog. The loss of your pet is regrettable but I assure you we are doing everything we can to track down the animal, whatever it may turn out to be,” she told him, her voice holding no hint of emotion, least of all sympathy for the dog.
“You could at least check the alley,” the guy said stubbornly.
With a sigh, she came into the shadows. I’d already climbed over the wall, and I stood on the other side, listening.
“There’s nothing here,” she called out. The guy swore under his breath.
The police left after that, but I heard a man approach the dog owner. I hadn’t been the only one listening in on their conversation.
“Hey mate, they may not have believed you, but I do. I’ve seen these things and what they can do. If you say it was a werewolf, I believe you. I’ve seen them take lives before too. You wouldn’t believe how many they can kill in a single night. But they’re not invincible; I’ve killed a few of these things myself. There aren’t many left now. In fact, I don’t know about any others except for this one – it might even be the last. So now you know the truth, do you want to help me hunt it down and kill it? I’m part of a group dedicated to destroying these evil creatures. I can offer you a place in our group if you’re interested. I can teach you more about these things. It’s safer than being on your own. Werewolves aren’t dumb beasts like in some of the movies out there; the best of them can keep their human intelligence even under the full moon, and the wolf in them itself is clever enough. You’ve seen it and it’ll probably come for you next time to protect itself. It knows we’re hunting it see. Will you come with me?"
I had the impression the dog owner had been gaping at the stranger, and after a pause, clearly still shocked by all he had seen and just learnt I heard him say simply “Okay.”
Back in my room, I looked down at my blood stained body. I’d been lucky it was a Sunday morning and there’d been no one else about to see me naked and wreathed in death. I wanted to shower, even though I knew it wouldn’t make me feel any cleaner, but first I had to take care of the blood that had splattered after I’d moved the corpse. I’d left it congealing on the walls and the floor and by then it was dry and harder to shift. There were a few stains on the wall that refused to budge. I moved a poster to cover it before the police came, planning to get some paint to hide it later. Fortunately they were only specks, and the walls were dark blue meaning they didn’t really show up unless you knew they were there. That done, I crept into the bathroom. Once again I was grateful of the warm water running over my body, washing away the crimson stains. The last I would ever physically see of Melissa White and the dog drained away down the plughole. I wished the horrific images that kept playing behind my eyes would wash away with it, but it was never going to be that easy.
No sooner had I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off, the towel wrapped around my waist, than Mum burst through the door, her face panic stricken.
"Mel’s missing!" she told me.
Inwardly I cursed. They had to find out sometime, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be for a few more hours
yet, to give me chance to deal with the horror before I had to face my family, and most of all Amy who would be most upset over her friend’s disappearance. Not that it really made any difference in the end. It was going to take a lot longer than a few hours to come to terms with what I had done and to learn to live with it. If I could live with it.
Mum was shocked and full of guilt. After all, Melissa had been her charge that night. How could she face Mel’s parents after what had happened? Amy was in tears, already fearing the worst. Dad seemed unaffected though surely the bastard felt something too.
"We've called the police already," he told me. “They'll be coming in forty eight hours to investigate.”
Nodding, I sat with them and fought the growing sense of guilt that threatened to rule me, because I had brought this upon them. I didn’t want to think about having to face Mel’s parents. Our grief would be as nothing compared to theirs. And I didn’t want to think about facing the police either. I didn’t know if I could keep it together long enough to give them a convincing alibi, yet I had to for my family’s sake. They were suffering enough through all this, without having to deal with the knowledge of what I had done. It would probably finish them. Could I hide the guilt long enough to convince the police of my innocence? I doubted it. My days were numbered as a free man. But what did I have to fear from the law? I doubted they had a prison cell that could hold me. I wished they could have locked me up and kept me from killing again, but of course if the police did take me in that would leave me at the Slayer’s mercy. I put an arm around Amy’s shaking shoulders, her protective big brother, feeling sick with myself.
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