The next time I opened my eyes it was to find Aughtie watching me on the other side of the cage. I felt like a zoo animal. Actually that wasn’t a bad analogy. Things were getting worse, now there wasn’t only the hunger to greet me when I awoke. I needed to pee. And there was nowhere to go, save a small drain in one corner of the cage, and no privacy. If I didn’t come up with an escape plan soon, I was starting to think that maybe I should just kill myself and save the Slayers the trouble. It’d be less painful and it’d take care of a few problems.
I stood up, stiff from sleeping on the hard floor, and tried not to show any of my discomfort.
Aughtie watched me with those cold eyes and finally she spoke. "You must be hungry. Tell me where your allies are and I'll give you fresh meat. You can choose anyone within the compound, and once you have eaten your fill I'll set you free.”
"Yeah right, like you would sacrifice one of your people and then just let me walk out of here. I’m not that stupid.”
“My people are nothing to me, just pawns to serve my greater purpose.”
“Okay, so maybe you would feed me. But I know I’m not getting out of here alive,” I said.
"Perhaps not," she agreed. "But I could make you more comfortable before the end."
I snorted disbelievingly. “Next you’ll be trying to tell me you’ve found a cure again.”
"Do you know what happens to a werewolf when they’re deprived of food? Have you ever wondered why you are always hungry after a transformation, or why you kill so many in one night to fill the wolf’s almost insatiable hunger, or how you can eat so much? Or why you are left so weak if you do not feed, having become a wolf and changed back to human again, and vice versa?"
I frowned. It seemed she knew the answers to the questions, and I had to admit I was curious, but then, she always had that air to her that she knew everything. Haughty Aughtie my Mum called her, and it was true. She treated everyone as an underling. She always made you feel like she knew some great universal secret, and that made her somehow better than you.
“I still don’t know everything about the curse,” I said carefully, not wanting to reveal how little I knew. For all I knew, my ignorance could give her some sort of advantage.
"As technology evolved, so did we. Our methods have changed. Scientists are constantly searching for answers, and we are no different. It has proven useful to learn about undead biology. Before we drove werewolves to the brink of extinction, we learnt what we could from them. Now we know that to become a werewolf you must already have wolf blood running through your veins, though you cannot transform until you have been bitten by another werewolf. The transformation relies on DNA. Direct descendants of wolves can revert to the form of their ancestors as they have already got a small percentage of wolf DNA, whereas direct descendants of apes cannot, because they were not wolves to begin with.
“When a wolf descendant is bitten, more wolf DNA is somehow passed on, thus heightening the percentage of wolf DNA within the victim. We still do not know exactly how this works. We do know that the bite kills the victim, as with vampires, and the wolf DNA reanimates the body, but we're still not sure after that. One theory is that every cell in the body mutates and the DNA within the nucleus changes, causing the victim's genetic makeup to change until it becomes closer to that of a true wolf. Whatever may happen, the victim then has a higher percentage of wolf DNA which allows them to change form. We're not sure why it happens involuntarily during the full moon, but we think this time in the lunar cycle has some significance to the lupine part of the brain, making the percentage of wolf DNA stronger, so that it asserts itself over the human DNA and causes the victim to change form. It also awakens the lupine instincts trapped within the victim's subconscious, thus causing them to lose control and become wolves both mentally and physically.
“After a werewolf has changed, it must feed. The change itself requires energy, more than the body can cope with, and the werewolf has to eat much more than a mortal wolf could stomach to support the change back to human, and still they will be hungrier than usual through the day. If the werewolf fails to feed, the transformation back to human leaves it weak, most of its energy gone. You should have been too weak to stand when you regained consciousness, if it hadn’t been for us. I had you hooked up to a drip so I could draw out your suffering until the end. How long can you survive without food? Months? Years? At least I can offer you a quick death if you tell me what I need to know.”
Amongst all the science there were some good explanations for what was happening to me. And believe me, that’s the simplified version. It explained a lot, and from what I understood, it was easy to see why there was no cure, for how do you possibly reverse a mutation like that?
“I’ll be just as dead, no matter what I tell you. What’s a bit of suffering before the end? A bit of pain then an eternity free of it. Sounds good to me.”
“Fine, have it your way,” she said. Her voice was calm, but I could see a muscle twitching round her eyes. I’d pissed her off again and if I wasn’t more careful, I was sure I’d be dead by the end of the week.
I was left alone once more, except for the guards, with nothing to do. I slumped against the wall and tried to ignore my full bladder and empty stomach. Eventually I fell asleep again.
Time passed. Every time I awoke the hunger seemed to increase, while I grew steadily weaker. And every time Aughtie was there waiting for me, growing a little more impatient, offering me food and freedom. I couldn’t be bothered talking to her anymore. I think my silence only angered her further.
Water was pushed through the bars from time to time. It was in a plastic bowl to get past the electric bars. But it was meat I really wanted.
It got to the point where the hunger was taking over everything, sapping my strength. The same hunger that had almost driven me to dig up the graves after the first time I’d changed was taking control again, and this time the only meat available was my own. I think it would have driven me to eat the flesh off my own limbs if I didn’t have the strength to fight it. I might have done, if it wasn’t for the knowledge that it would take more energy to heal the wounds than I would take in from my limbs. It was getting to the point where I would eat anything though.
The hunger was quickly becoming all consuming, as if it now defined me and I would be nothing without it. I could feel my sanity slipping away again. It was like when I’d gone through the mating season; instincts ravaged my brain until there was nothing left, except for a beast more primitive than even the rage driven monster. God only knew what I was becoming. It wasn’t wolf and it wasn’t human, that much I knew.
More time passed. I was losing my humanity more and more by the day. I couldn’t even keep hold of my human form anymore. I felt things transforming, slowly because there wasn’t enough energy for it to happen and I was still trying to fight it, but it was happening all the same. Eventually I’d reach wolf form, and I didn’t think I had the energy or the sanity to change back. I’d spend the rest of eternity as an animal, or even worse as a monster, depending on how much of my brain survived. If I didn’t die first.
One of my eyes was the first thing to go, the left one. It turned amber and there was nothing I could do about it. Then my right ear became pointed and furred and travelled up to the top of my head, and my teeth were starting to grow longer and more pointed. My face became a mess, becoming more bestial, like a gargoyle. If it hadn’t been for the ear or the eye there would be nothing in my facial features to define what I was becoming, but anyone looking at me would know it wasn’t human.
I was growing hairier and I had a tail. My nails were more like claws. I needed help and fast, because I knew, if I completely lost my sanity, I’d lose any hope of escape.
I awoke to find I wasn’t alone in the cell. I blinked in confusion, and reached out a hairy hand to the girl stood beside me, to see if she was real. It was Grace.
Thinking had become difficult. There was no need for it anymore. The hunger truly
was everything and instinct had almost completely taken over. But somewhere in the chaotic mess better known as my brain there was confusion, because the human left in me knew she shouldn’t be there. She couldn’t be there. Was I losing my sanity quicker than I thought?
I opened my mouth to speak, frowned, trying to find the words, and finally managed her name. “Grace?”
She nodded.
I tried again. With effort, I could reach beneath the instincts, and find the thoughts and knowledge that made up my humanity. Once I’d accessed that part of my brain talking grew a little easier, though my speech was slurred slightly, as if I’d been drinking. I felt drunk. Everything was confused. I couldn’t even remember what I was supposed to be, human or wolf or something else.
“What you doing here?” I asked.
“I came to keep you company, take your mind off the hunger.”
“Help me,” I pleaded. “Need get out. Need food.”
She shook her head. “I can’t help you. You have to do it yourself.”
“Then kill me.”
“You want to die here? Alone?” she said, shocked.
I laughed madly, fighting off the drunken feeling for the time being, my speech becoming better. I was able to form proper sentences again. “Alone, surrounded by people, what does it matter? We’re all alone in the end. It only takes seconds and then you pass away and there’s no one there for you. And anything’s better than this. Look at me. I’m a mess.”
“You can’t lose hope. And when you die, you won’t be alone. God will be waiting,” she said with feeling.
“No He won’t. God doesn’t give a damn about us,” I spat.
“You’re wrong. He waits for all of us on the other side, so that we may never be alone again,” she said, her conviction immune to my pessimism.
“Oh yeah, like He’s here for us in life when we need Him most? Like He’s here for me now?” I sneered. She’d touched a nerve and my instinct was to lash out in retaliation, fighting pain with pain. A year ago I would have kept my silence, regardless of my thoughts and feelings, but a year ago I wasn’t half wolf. “You can pray all you want in that empty building but He ain’t listening.”
She turned away, tears in her eyes, refusing to believe me.
“Why are you really here Grace? I don’t want to listen to your religious crap.”
“It is all I have to offer,” she replied.
I frowned again, and struggled to think. Understanding dawned. “I get it, you’re a hallucination. You’re me keeping me company. But why you? Why didn’t I hallucinate Mum or Amy, or a closer friend? Sure, we talked in school but I barely know you.”
“Your brain picked me for a reason, think on that. Perhaps you have more faith than you think,” she answered.
“Well thanks brain but I don’t need an imaginary friend,” I said and closed my eyes. Maybe this was my brain’s way of trying to keep me sane, a way to cling to my humanity, but I really didn’t want to discuss religion with Grace, real or imaginary. When I opened them she’d gone. I smiled and lay staring at the metal ceiling, ignoring the guards laughing at me. If I got out of there they wouldn’t be laughing for long.
Aughtie visited me a few more times. She seemed to find everything fascinating: the transformations, both mental and physical, my way of dealing with it, my stubbornness, refusing to talk when there was a chance that would save me.
I watched her hungrily, and as my mind became more primitive I even tried to lunge at her through the bars. Electricity travelled through my body and I fell back with a yelp, the smell of burning flesh and hair filling the room again. Aughtie just laughed. I licked the wounds but couldn’t transform to heal them that time. I was growing weak, and if I didn’t get out soon I’d be in the same state as that winter morning after the full moon. If it went that far I would be beyond escape.
Eventually the transformation reached the same halfway point I’d been stuck in the night I’d killed Melissa White. It was roughly the same half man, half wolf form as before, though my hands were still basically hands, just furred and clawed. They definitely weren’t closer to being paws like they’d been before; I’d retained my opposable thumbs. One eye was still human while the other was lupine, but the rest of my head had become a wolf’s.
The primitive brain didn’t have much use for eyesight. It smelled the guards, heard their breathing, the beating of their hearts, different men to those who had been there last time I lay down to sleep. My mouth watered and I dreamed of ripping apart their soft flesh, the taste of blood and raw meat, the smell of it. A growl escaped my throat. The guards raised their guns in alarm, the noise breaking the silence, the only sound I’d made in what must have been days. They relaxed when they saw I was still sat hunched over, ape-like, in a corner of the stinking cell. The beast didn’t care about relieving itself in privacy.
The room wasn’t as sound proof as I’d first thought. I cocked an ear at the sound of someone walking down the corridor. More prey. The beast knew better than to lunge at the bars this time. It had learnt touching the bars meant pain, though I’d been wounded a few more times before the lesson stuck. Burns covered my arms and chest where I’d thrown myself against the cage door. I listened to the prey until the walls muffled the sound, and then licked my wounds. They were healing faster than if I’d been mortal, but the transformation hadn’t been quick enough or complete enough to completely heal them over. There was nothing left of the human. All I had was the hunger and the pain. The beast had learnt to accept it. So I sat there, no thoughts running through my head except for instinct and a few vague images of blood and flesh.
The lights overhead flickered and died, plunging us into darkness. I cocked my ears and scented the air but there was nothing to hear or smell, though somehow I sensed something was different. Something had changed.
One of the guards said something and I smelt his fear. Panic spread to the others like wildfire, and then they all fell silent, breathing hard, hearts pounding when they heard my low growl.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Escape
I threw myself at the bars and they bent with the force, but nothing else happened. I hit the cold metal again and there was no pain, no crackle of electricity. In my weakened state it took two more attempts before the bars broke from the force and I was free. I burst forth from my prison to the sound of gunfire. The guards were blind in the darkness but they’d all heard the bars rattling. They weren’t taking any chances.
I was hit in the arm and anger flared up inside. I barely noticed the pain in the face of the hunger, and now rage was building. Soon I’d be beyond pain and nothing was going to stop me, except for a lucky shot through the heart or the brain.
The guards might have been blind but I had no trouble locating them in the darkness. I didn’t need sight. Scent and sound led me to them and I fell upon the nearest one. More gunfire punctuated the sounds of his screams. I dragged him off towards the torture table, making it harder for the others to hit me, devouring him in minutes. I ate two more and the hunger was beginning to die down, while my strength was returning. The remaining two men were still firing into the darkness at things they couldn’t see, until their guns clicked empty. I heard a scream of frustration and someone banging on the door, trying to get out. One of them started to cry.
I went for the man by the door first since he was nearest. He felt my breath on his neck as I closed in and drew a knife. He plunged it blindly into the dark just as my clawed hands grasped him and I fell back with a yelp, the blade deep in my shoulder. I crashed down onto the crying man. He screamed and I turned on him, ripping him apart.
Seconds later I felt a second blade pierce my back, just beneath the ribcage. Another lucky strike, but the man’s luck was running out. I grabbed hold of him again, one hand around his throat, one around a leg, and twisted. There was a sharp crack, barely audible against the man’s screams and I dropped him bodily onto the floor, where he lay still, spine broken. Unable to escape, co
mpletely paralysed from the waist down, he lay helpless while I ate him alive. He was still dying when the lights came back on, revealing scenes of gore and horror.
Most of the corpse’s faces were frozen in silent screams, though one had been literally smashed in, the bone exploding inwards, shards of his own skull sticking in his brain the thing that killed him. I’d been too greedy to completely strip them to the bone. Organs lay strewn across the floor, most bitten through, some half eaten. Blood pooled on the floor, and pieces of flesh lay scattered around like gruesome jigsaw pieces. A couple of limbs lay a few metres away from their owners. I picked up a leg and gnawed on it like a dog with a bone. Then the hunger was gone and the beast grew docile. And somewhere, deep down in my brain where I had been more than instincts before the hunger took over, I knew I had to escape and I was dimly aware of what to do.
I crawled over to one of the men and ripped a hand clean off the arm without any effort. With the power back on, I was able to use it to open the door. The hand left a bloody imprint on the panel Aughtie had used before, but the door opened and I was on my way to freedom.
The corridor outside was deserted. I scented the still air and smelt more prey to the left. There were no clues as to the way out so I ran towards the humans. The hunger was satisfied for the moment, but the primitive brain liked blood and violence. That belonged to the human alone, and somewhere deep within the wolf growled in disgust.
The metal floor turned to a blur beneath my feet. I was spurred on to greater speeds by the smell of blood up ahead, and then there was the sound of more gunfire and I raced towards it. The two humans, a man and a woman this time, had heard me coming, but they hadn’t had time to aim before I was upon them. They shot at me in desperation, but luck was on my side now and I avoided being hit. I took both down at once and crushed the man’s neck before he even had time to scream. The woman I ripped apart like the guards outside my own cell. The latest victims had been guarding a door, and beyond it lay the smell of blood. I went through and was met by yet more gunfire. They’d all heard the woman screaming before she’d died of her wounds, and they were all afraid, I could smell it. They were too scared to aim properly and most were just shooting wildly and backing away from the door. Behind them humans in white coats cowered behind their equipment with no way of defending themselves and no escape, waiting for death.
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