by J. S. Cooper
“Do you have a boyfriend, Janie?” I wasn’t sure why I was asking her, but I was curious.
“No.” She smiled up at me. “Do you have a girlfriend?”
“No.” I laughed. “I’m not interested in dating right now.”
“Oh, okay.” I could tell she wanted to say more. Most probably find out why I didn’t want to date, but she wasn’t asking.
“I’m applying to grad schools next year. Most probably out of state. No point trying to have a long-distance relationship at that point, you know?”
“Sure.” She nodded. “So you just sleep around and have fun?”
“Would you judge me if I said yes?” I winked at her and laughed as she shook her head, her eyes showing her disapproval. She was definitely an old-fashioned type of girl.
“No, I don’t judge. I just don’t believe in sleeping around.”
“So, you’re the sort of girl that wants a commitment before you get down and dirty?” I whispered against her lips so that I was almost kissing her.
“What are you doing?” Her face reddened and I pulled back slightly.
“Sorry, was just trying to figure out if you wanted a kiss.”
“I don’t understand you,” she said suddenly. “Are you playing games with me?”
“Games?” I blinked at her, surprised at her words. “What do you mean?”
“You try to kiss me, but you keep asking about Anabel? What’s up with that?”
“Uhm, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I dropped my hands from around her waist and took a step back. “I’ve just been friendly to both of you. That’s it.”
“Well, you’re confusing me.” She sighed. “I can’t read you.”
“There’s nothing to read.” I ran my hands through my hair. “Look, sorry. It’s been a long week. I’ve got to get out of here.”
“Uhm, okay.” Janie stood there staring at me like I was some sort of alien. I knew that I was being weird. I knew that she most probably didn’t understand where I was coming from or why I was acting the way that I was. I knew she didn’t understand because I didn’t really understand myself.
“You can come if you want.” I wasn’t sure why I said the words. I knew it wasn’t a good idea, but I couldn’t help myself.
“Come where?” she asked me and I started laughing. This girl really didn’t have a clue, did she?
“Nowhere.” I shook my head at her. “You’re an odd duck, aren’t you, Janie?”
“No.” She made a face. “But you may very well be.”
“I most probably am. Yes, yes, I most probably am.” I gave her a big smile and then threw my hands up in the air. “Well, that’s it for me tonight. Have a great night. Tell Anabel I said bye.”
And with that I headed to the front door and left. I walked to my car and sat there for a few seconds thinking. Part of me wanted to go back to the party. Wanted to continue dancing with Janie. Maybe even kiss her. Maybe even go home with her. She was cute, but a gut instinct in me told me she wasn’t the sort of girl to have a one-night stand with. She wasn’t the sort of girl who seemed like she would know what the deal was. I drove away from the party feeling strangely lonely and sad. I was going to have to stop hanging out with all those frat guys. I wasn’t sure why, but I no longer enjoyed their parties as I used to before.
Chapter Four
Nate
“Hey Janie, Janie, wait up!” I ran toward the exit of the Humanities building as I saw Janie leaving. “Wait!” I tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention as she continued walking. She stopped abruptly, emitting a slight sound and then turned around and gave me a weak smile, her face slightly frazzled as she looked at me.
“Hey,” she said simply.
“Nate,” I said in case she’d forgotten. It made me feel slightly angry that she could have forgotten me already.
“I know who you are.” She laughed, her face lighting up momentarily and I grinned at her, happy to see that she was in a good mood to see me.
“I was calling for you to wait. Did you not hear me?”
“Oh, sorry.” She shook her head and looked away slightly. “I must not have heard you.” I paused for a second, knowing instinctively that she was lying. I wasn’t sure if I should call her out on it or not. Why was she lying? Maybe she was upset about the party?
“Did you and Anabel get home okay the other night?” I asked, hoping nothing bad had happened. “I wanted to call and check, but I realized I didn’t have your number.”
“Yeah, we got home fine. Thanks.” She looked at me again, her brown eyes gazing into mine as if they were searching for answers to some unasked questions. “Do you want my number then?” she asked hesitantly. “I mean if you want to text or whatever.”
“Sure.” I shrugged and grabbed my phone. “That would be cool. What’s your number? I’ll send you a quick text now so you have my number.”
“Awesome. 510-555-9832,” she said, and I sent her over a quick text.
“So, what are you up to now?” I asked her as my stomach grumbled. “I’m about to head out to grab a slice of pizza at the Pizza Shack. Wanna join?”
“Oh, now?” Her eyes lit up and I could see her thinking.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “They have two-dollar pizza slices today. I’ll even treat you.”
“You don’t have to do that.” She shook her head, but she was smiling widely. “But yeah, I’d love to come.”
“Excellent,” I said with a smile. “That’s truly excellent.” I watched as she played with her hair slightly and adjusted her gray sweater and pulled it down to cover her ass. Her very pert and perfectly shaped ass. I couldn’t stop staring at it, but I managed to move my eyes forward after about thirty seconds. I didn’t want to be a complete creep.
“So, what have you been up to? Play any chess recently?” Janie asked me and I had to forcefully stop myself from asking her if she really played chess or not. I was pretty sure the answer was not, but I didn’t want to embarrass her.
“Actually, I’ve been practicing a lot online. There’s a chess tournament coming up in two weeks that I’m headed to, so I want to make sure I’m ready.”
“Wow, a tournament? National?” She looked impressed.
“Yeah. Maybe you can try out and join,” I suggested, holding back a grin. “I know we have a spot left. Maybe you or Anabel could join.”
“Oh, wow, yeah,” she said, her face turning red. “Let me ask Anabel, she’s better than me and would likely want the spot. Though that might be the weekend that we have planned for our yoga retreat.” Her voice drifted off.
“Ooh, you’re into yoga?”
“Kinda,” she said timidly. “Uhm, but anyways, tell me more about what you did after the party. Anything fun?”
“Went home and to bed.” I smiled at her. “What about you?”
“Oh, Anabel and I ended up dancing for a bit and then we went on to an after-party.”
“Oh?” I frowned. “Who with?”
“Just some guys we met.” She shrugged. “It was fun.”
“That doesn’t sound smart. Had you just met the guys?”
“Yeah, but I mean, it wasn’t just us there.”
“You shouldn’t go to random after-parties with guys you don’t know. That’s not really safe.” I could hear my voice rising. Was she stupid? Had she not heeded my warning about the frat guys at the party?
“It was fine.” She sighed. “Nothing happened.”
“Hmmm.” I looked away from her. I wasn’t sure why I was feeling so agitated about what she’d done, but I was really annoyed. Did she not know how dangerous that situation could have been?
I watched as Janie ate her slice of pizza eagerly, the cheese dripping from her mouth as she laughed at my joke. Her brown eyes shone happily into mine, and I felt an inexplicable pleasure at the way that she laughed at my jokes.
“I guess they call you the pizza monster, huh?” I teased her as she took another big bite of pizza and grabbed some of
my fries.
“How did you know?” She laughed as she took a sip of Coke. “I suppose you’re used to girls that only eat salads and stuff?” She raised an eyebrow at me and then wiggled them before she started giggling.
“You’re silly,” I said with a smile. “And yes, I know a lot of girls who seem to love salads.” I shrugged. “I like veggies as well.”
“You mean you like skinny girls?” She leaned forward and gave me a wry smile.
“I like all girls.” I bit down on my lower lip and winked at her. “I don’t discriminate.”
“Uh huh.” She sat back and sipped some more of her Coke. She had a thoughtful look on her face and I wanted to ask her what she was thinking. “So ...” she said and her voice drifted off.
“So ...?” I asked her after a few seconds of silence. “Were you going to say something?”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “So, I was wondering ...”
“What were you wondering? Unfortunately, I’m not Sherlock Holmes, and I can’t read minds yet.”
“Sherlock Holmes can’t read minds—” she began and I cut her off with a laugh.
“Don’t change the subject.” I pointed at her. “What were you going to say?”
“I was going to ask you if ...” She paused again. “Actually, not if. I was going to ask you why you were acting so funny at the party last week.” She blushed and looked away.
“Oh,” I said, surprised. Most girls didn’t ask those sorts of questions that quickly. I wasn’t sure she’d even been aware that I’d been a bit put out.
“You don’t have to answer,” she said with an awkward smile. “I know that might seem a bit forward.”
“Uhm, not forward at all,” I said, but I didn’t really know what to say. I barely knew this girl and I didn’t know what I wanted from her. Sure, she was hot, and I’d love to hook up with her, but I wasn’t looking for a relationship, and I wasn’t sure if she was either. Well, that was a bit of a lie. I was pretty sure that she wasn’t looking for a hookup. She seemed like she was the sort of girl who needed to have a boyfriend before she had sex. And I wasn’t that guy. I didn’t want a girlfriend. I didn’t need the pressure or the stress. And frankly, I just wanted to have some fun, get laid, and not have any strings attached. “I didn’t think I was acting funny at the party?”
“Maybe not funny, but weird,” she said lightly. “Kinda hot and cold.” Her face brightened as she nibbled on her lower lip.
“Oh? I didn’t realize,” I said, even though that was a lie. How did I tell her that she confused me? That I thought she was too intense. That I liked her but I was scared she’d be a clinger. I knew I couldn’t tell her that. I liked her. I wanted to be friends with her, maybe flirt a bit, but I didn’t want any drama. And she seemed the sort who could be drama.
“Yeah, I didn’t know if you were trying to avoid me or something.” She looked nervous and I wanted to sigh. This was the exact reason why I didn’t want to get involved with her. If she was acting like this after one small peck, imagine how she’d be acting if we did anything else.
“Why would I be trying to avoid you?” I continued the conversation even though I knew I shouldn’t.
“I don’t know. Why do guys act weird?” She looked at me and shrugged. “If I knew the answer to that question, I’d be a millionaire.”
“You’re a funny one, aren’t you, Janie?”
“Uhm, is that a question or are you just making a statement?” She laughed and then continued. “But yeah, I guess I am unique. That’s what Anabel tells me, anyway.”
“You and Anabel have been best friends for a long time, huh?”
“Yes.” She sighed and the tone in her voice changed.
“Do you have a problem with me asking you questions about Anabel?” I asked her finally. I had noticed at the party that she seemed to get more tense when I brought up Anabel and I wasn’t sure why.
“No, why would I? Do you like her or something?”
“Huh?” I frowned at her, confused by her question. “What do you mean?”
“You’re always asking questions about her.”
“She has a boyfriend,” I said, realizing that this chick was as crazy as I thought. She was jealous!
“So you don’t like her?” she prodded.
“She’s cute, yes, I noticed that.” I shrugged. “I don’t know her well enough to like her, so no, I don’t like her.”
“Would you date her if she didn’t have a boyfriend?”
“If you’re asking if I would ask her out and try to get to know her, then yes. She’s hot. She seems nice ...” My voice trailed off as Janie’s face grew red and she started blinking rapidly.
“So now she’s hot?”
“Sorry, what?”
“Just now you called her cute and now you’re calling her hot!” Janie’s voice was rising. “I see.”
“Sorry, what do you see?” My mind was boggling at the conversation. Why was she so upset? “Is it wrong for me to think your best friend is attractive?”
“No, no, of course not. Why would it be wrong?” She gave me a big smile. “Good to know. So, do you have any cute single friends?”
“Uhm, I guess.” I paused and stared at her for a few seconds. This conversation had been a mistake. A big, big mistake. I didn’t even know what to say next. I realized now that I shouldn’t have invited her for a slice of pizza. I should have let her just keep walking. She was definitely drama with a capital D. Something I didn’t need. I’d dated a girl in high school who was drama, and it had all been way too much for me.
“So, doing anything fun this weekend?” I tried to change the subject. Maybe she and Anabel had a weird history I didn’t know about.
“Not really.” She looked at me nervously. “Hey, I want to apologize if I sounded like a complete psycho just now.” She made a face and scrunched up her nose. “I’m really not a psycho. I was just a little confused and I had verbal diarrhea.”
“Okay.” I laughed, willing to forgive her and ignore the warning signs in my stomach. She had such a cute face. “No worries.”
“What are you doing this weekend?”
“Going to a mini chess tournament.” I nearly started laughing as her body froze. “Interested in coming?”
“Oh?” she answered hesitantly.
“To watch me play.” I let her out of her misery quickly.
“Oh, really?” She grinned at me widely. “I’d love that.”
“Really? Awesome.” I grinned back at her. “It might not be the most fun you’ve ever had.”
“I’m sure it will be great. Thanks for the invitation.” She played with her hair for a few seconds and then I saw her look at her watch and make a face. “Oh my, I have a class in ten minutes,” she said. “I should go.”
“Can’t you skip?” I asked her, not because I wanted to encourage her to miss classes, but because I wanted to spend more time with her. I wanted to get to know this strange, curious, beautiful girl who said whatever was on her mind without thought to how it might sound.
“I guess.” She looked at me questioningly. “Did you want me to?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I do. Skip and let’s go do something fun.”
“What’ll we do?” she asked excitedly, and I paused for a few seconds while I tried to think of something exciting to do.
“We could go down by the lake,” I said, thinking that sounded fun. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket, and I pulled it out to see who had messaged me.
Hey, Nate, still wanna hang out today? It was Talissa, the hot blonde I’d met at a lit quiz a couple of weeks earlier. I’d been trying to get her to go out with me for the last two weeks and she always had an excuse as to why she couldn’t make it. And that was the times she responded to me. There were many times that she just never answered my message. I stared at Janie across the table and held in a sigh. Why couldn’t Talissa have texted me five minutes before I’d asked Janie to hang out?
“Something wrong?”
Janie asked, concern in her voice as she leaned forward and looked down at my phone screen.
“Yeah, no, I mean everything is fine.” I really wanted to see Talissa, but I didn’t want to be a jerk to Janie. She didn’t deserve that. “I just remembered I have something to do around six, but we can hang out until then, yeah?”
“Oh, sure.” She nodded, a smile on her face. “That’s good with me.”
“Okay, awesome.” I grinned at her, happy that it was all working out. “Give me a second and then we can head out.” I quickly responded to Talissa’s text. I’ll pick you up for dinner around 7. I hit send and then put my phone back in my pocket before Janie could see what I was typing. I felt slightly guilty for scheduling a date tonight while I was hanging out with her. But it wasn’t as if Janie and I were dating or boyfriend and girlfriend. She had no reason to expect that I wouldn’t be going on dates with other girls. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Yet for some reason I couldn’t shake the anxiety from my stomach.
“SHALL WE GO FOR A SWIM?” Janie’s eyes glittered as she stared at the water. “It looks so calm in the water. I bet it would feel amazing in this heat.”
“You wanna go in?” I asked in surprise. “Do you have a bathing suit?”
“No.” She laughed.
“You want to go skinny dipping?” My jaw dropped as I looked at her. Maybe I’d read her completely wrong.
“No.” She laughed even harder. “I could go in with my underwear on.”
“Oh, okay.” I laughed and tried not to picture her in just her bra and panties. “Sure, if you want to.”
“Are you going to come in as well?”
“Yeah, of course,” I said and before she could even say another word, I started pulling my shirt off and then my pants. I stood there in my boxer shorts and threw my hands up in the air. “It’s your turn now. Take it all off.”
“Haha.” She shook her finger at me. “If I didn’t know you better, I’d think you were telling me to strip naked.”
“I wouldn’t say no if you did.” I winked at her, and she blushed. I felt a warm stirring in me as she pulled her jeans down and stood there in her hot pink panties. She blushed again as she pulled her top off and I could feel myself hardening as I gazed at her ample breasts, barely squeezed into her bra. She looked over at me in a shy way and in that moment all feelings of friendship were gone. I wanted her badly. I wanted to have her naked. Here on the grass. I wanted to take her. She was sexy. Sexier than she knew. And that was what made her even more adorable. That was what made me both want to fuck her hard and protect her against the world. It was a weird amalgamation of feelings that I’d never felt at the same time before. Sure, I’d wanted other women before. Shit, I wanted Talissa just as badly. But I didn’t feel the warm, caring feelings for Talissa. She didn’t evoke in me a need to want to hold her close and kiss her head. Not like Janie. Janie affected me in more than a base way. It was a weird feeling, and I didn’t like it. I liked to compartmentalize my feelings. Women were for sex or friendships. Not both. And rarely friendships. I hadn’t grown up with sisters and I didn’t really know how to be soft and sweet, and that’s what women needed. Especially women like Janie. It was weird that I already knew that about her. It was also weird that I felt that bond toward her already. Kinda fucked-up really. To want to protect her as my sister, but also want to fuck the living daylights out of her like some whore. Not that I thought she was a whore, but shit, the things I could do to her. I stiffened my back as I realized my mind was wandering to bad places. I could see her nipples through her bra and I wanted to reach over and gently pull her right breast out of its cup and take her nipple in my mouth. What would she say if I did that? Would she tell me to stop? Would she ask me to suck harder? Pull her left breast out?
