She sobbed dejectedly until her stomach lurched. She tried to calm herself in an attempt to stem the nausea but it was too late. She rushed to the bathroom where she lost her evening meal. Afterwards she sat on the carpeted floor and convulsed into sobs. It took a long while before she could haul herself back to bed and even then she did not sleep.
She had come to believe these past days that they were growing closer. How could she have been so wrong? Hot tears seeped into her pillows. Would she continue to pay for the rest of her life for that one silly mistake she had made in a moment of weakness? How could she make him understand that she was sorry, that she did not mean to hurt him; that she would do anything to erase the hurt she had caused him?
She could do nothing she told herself. She could not change the past and she had no way of affecting the future. She had been too late the moment she had walked out of this very house and out of his life a few months ago.
It seemed too late would always be her cry, she thought as sleep claimed her.
CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
LAUREN HAD NOT SEEN JORDAN in three day; she did not know whether to be worried or upset that he did not even have the decency to call so she would know that he was alright. In the end she chose the latter. Although she did not know why she even bothered as he had made it clear during their last meeting exactly three days ago that he wanted nothing to do with her outside of their children.
Even now as she recalled his cruel words, it tore at her heart. She was glad, in a small way, that he had kept his distance she told herself because she was not certain she could cope with him being so near and yet so far away. Yet she missed him terribly. She had barely slept these past nights, fatigue and heartbreak keeping her awake until the wee hours of the morning when exhaustion would claim her.
Presently she was roaming the corridors of the estate with no particular destination in mind, just for lack of something better to do. She smiled sadly as she remembered these same halls filled with hers and Jordan’s laughter. She closed her eyes, reliving the memory as if it was just yesterday. They had been so in love back then, a tear leaked below her tightly closed lids at the thought. She could not understand or even begin to accept, as Jordan wanted her to, that something so profound could wither and die so completely and so soon but she must she told herself.
She dashed the tears from her cheeks and walked on just as aimlessly as before until she found herself at Jordan’s bedroom door. She started to move away but for some reason she inched closer. This section of the house had been off limits to her ever since she had returned and she deliberated on whether to let it remain that way. Perhaps she could take a little peek, she thought. Jordan was not home and was not likely to find out that she had trespassed into his private space, thus she saw no harm in what she was about to do.
She gripped the doorknob in her palm, her heart hammering in her chest. She pushed the door open and stepped into the room; a plethora of memories bombarding her thoughts. They had shared this very room just a few months ago. She stroked her stomach fondly; even her babies were conceived here.
She almost jumped out of her skin as a distinctive groan came from the bed. Her eyes flew to the bed where she saw Jordan lying motionless on his back. Her first instinct was to quit the room as quickly as she could before a thought occurred to her. What was Jordan doing home in bed in the middle of the day? Did he have a woman in here with him? No he would not dare she told herself as she glanced around the room to make sure.
Something was terribly odd about this situation. Why had he not gotten up and thrown her out already? She knew he was a light sleeper.
“Jordan”, she called tiptoeing towards the bed but his only response was a guttural moan. She drew to a halt a few inches from the bed, her heart sinking to her toes. His face was ashen, his lips were dry and cracked and she could feel heat emanating from him from where she stood.
“Jordan”, she called again, her voice urgent as she placed her hand to his forehead, he was burning up.
This time she gripped him on either side of his shoulders and shook him. “Jordan, wake up”, she beseeched her voice edging on hysteria.
His eyes fluttered open and stared unseeingly at her; their depths glazed, from the fever she supposed, before they drifted closed. She grabbed the phone from his night table, panic building in the pit of her stomach and called an ambulance and then Doctor Hedley who encouraged her to remain calm and he would be waiting for her in the emergency room.
Jordan was stirring when she hung up the phone and she rushed to his side.
“Jordan…can you hear me”, he moaned in response, “open your eyes…please”, she begged tears blurring her vision as she gripped his scorching right hand in her cool palms.
What could possibly be wrong with him? How long had he been like this? Her brain clamored with unanswered question. It seemed as if she had been sitting there holding his hand for ages before she heard the ambulance and seconds later footsteps running up the stairs before Ms. Clarke along with two uniformed men burst into the room.
Ms. Clarke pried her from Jordan’s side so that the men could lift him unto the stretcher. The sight of her husband who had been robust up to three days ago when she had last seen him having to be carried bodily was almost too much for her to endure and she leaned heavily into Ms. Clarke for fear that he legs would fail her, as she followed the men down to the ambulance.
All the while Ms. Clarke babbled on about telling Jordan to go and see a doctor but he would not listen. According to her he had come home night before last saying he had a headache and he had not left since. She would have liked to tell Lauren but Jordan said not to worry her. The knowledge was like a slap to the face. This was an utter disgrace. How could one live like this? Her husband was ill and if she had not stumbled upon him she would not have known. She sighed heavily. She would not even consider what might have happened if she had not found him.
She wanted to ask if he would be okay or what was wrong with him but she knew that time was of the essence and Jordan’s life was at stake. She shook aside her quaking emotions as they hoisted Jordan into the rear of the ambulance; she needed to be strong for him she told herself and stiffened her spine.
Both men threw curious stares her way as she requested their help to get into the vehicle but she was too busy attending to Jordan to care. She could not help the sobs that tore from her throat as the ambulance team placed an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth and inserted and IV fluid into his left arm. She held his right hand all the way to the hospital, brushing her lips over his knuckles and praying that he would be okay.
Doctor Hedley was waiting when they got to the emergency room. He immediately whisked Jordan away, a grim expression staining his features but not before issuing a stern warning for her to stay calm for the babies’ sake, if nothing else.
How could she remain calm she thought miserably when the man she loved was fighting for his life. What if he did not make it? No, she told herself resolutely, he had to survive for their babies’ sake and for hers as well. She needed him and he had too much to live for to die now. Surely he would not die when she had never told him she was sorry for hurting him or that she loved him with every fiber of her being. Always has and forever would.
She should have phoned his parents, she thought absently in an attempt to distract her from the present situation. She had been so preoccupied with getting Jordan to the hospital that she had not even stopped to collect her purse. She needed to contact Ms. Clarke so she could instruct her to pack an overnight bag for Jordan and herself as she had no intention of leaving unless it was with Jordan by her side.
She was about to go in search of a phone call when she saw Daniel hustling towards her, his face somber.
“How is he”, he asked as soon as he got to where she sat.
“I don’t know”, she replied tearfully, “they took him…” she was so overcome with emotion that she could not finish her statement.
Daniel patted he
r shoulder awkwardly as if he was not accustomed to offering comfort. She forcefully pulled herself together and phoned Ms. Clarke and then Jordan’s parents. They were beside themselves with grief, vowing to take the next flight out to be with their only child and begging her to keep them updated of any changes or information she received.
She tried to get some information from members of staff she saw coming from the direction they had taken Jordan but no one seemed to know anything. She sat, she paced, and she fretted until finally she saw Doctor Headley striding towards her.
She rushed to meet him. “Is he alright”, she asked anxiously.
“Yes, he’ll be fine”, he said and Lauren sighed in relief, “eventually”, he added.
She frowned, ‘”what do you mean?” her heart raced in her chest.
“It appears Jordan caught a terrible virus”, Doctor Hedley said emphatically, “and based on his condition he has had it between two to three days”.
She hung her head in shame. What sort of wife did not know when her husband was sick? What must Doctor Hedley think of her for allowing the situation to get so out of hand?
“Not to worry though”, he continued optimistically, “we have managed to stabilize his temperature and he is resting at the moment”.
“Oh thank God and thank you”, she threw her arms around Doctor Hedley in heartfelt appreciation, the embrace made uncomfortable by her ballooning stomach, “can I see him?”
“Sure, follow me”, he instructed and she did just that.
She would have preferred him being awake so she could talk to him to ensure that he was alright but she had to be content with Doctor Hedley’s assurances. She kissed his forehead and stroked his face lovingly which was thankfully cool to the touch.
“I’ll have an extra bed moved in here”, Doctor Hedley said as she flopped into a chair beside Jordan’s bed, “that is assuming you’re spending the night”.
She nodded her eyes still on Jordan’s face as she twined her fingers through his.
“You are not alone”, she whispered to the sleeping figure on the bed, “I am here and I’ll always be for as long as you need me”, she vowed remaining in the chair long after the bed was brought in.
CHAPTER THIRTY
LAUREN WAS STARTLED AWAKE by a rustling sound from somewhere in the room. She opened her eyes to see Jordan stirring. The last thing she remembered was Daniel delivering the items she had requested and leaving. She was sore from sitting in the chair all night and she ached all over but she decided her discomfort was inconsequential as long as Jordan was alright.
Beautiful, feverless hazel eyes focused on her, “Lauren…”he said weakly as if he was surprised to see her.
“Oh my God …Jordan you’re awake”, tears filled her eyes and spilled over as joy so overwhelming filled her heart; he was awake.
Jordan frowned, puzzled at her reaction. Perhaps she had been worried about what would become of her if he had died, he told himself.
She rose stiffly from her chair, “are you alright? Do you need anything?” she pressed.
“Water”, he croaked.
She pressed the buzzer for the nurse who came almost instantly and checked his vitals before she left and returned with a tray containing a sizeable bottle of water, a glass and a bowl of chicken broth. Lauren took the tray from her and placed it on the table near to his bed. She poured a glass of water and placed it to his lips. He drank greedily until the glass was empty and she poured him another.
He fell back against the pillows as if the effort it had taken to drink the water had sapped his energy completely. He grumbled as she fed him the broth but it was obvious that he had neither the strength to argue nor the wherewithal to do it himself.
The nurse returned a short while later. “I’ll help Mr. Myles with his bath now, if you don’t mind”, she said.
“I’m not an invalid”, what was intended as a bark came out as a feeble protest, “I can bathe my own damned self”, he added.
“I’ll take care of it Nurse”, Lauren interceded with an apologetic smile.
“Are you sure”, the nurse asked glancing at Lauren’s enlarged stomach quizzically.
“Yes, I’ll be fine. Thank you’, Lauren said walking the woman to the door before returning to Jordan’s bedside.
“What are you doing here?” he asked coldly, “shouldn’t you be home resting and where the hell is Doc, I need to get out of here. I have business to attend to”.
Lauren released a heavy breath. Perhaps if she had not come so close to losing him she would have been daunted by his demeanor but after yesterday’s ordeal she had changed somewhat.
She took his right hand in hers which, thank God, he did not shrug aside. “Jordan you were very ill yesterday when I found you”, she began gently and he seemed taken aback by the information but he said nothing, “and you’ll need a few days to get well”.
“Like hell I will”, he threw aside the bedcover and sat up.
“Jordan, please” she begged, gripping his hand tighter, “you have to get well for the babies’ sake. You were right I can’t do it by myself. I need you”, she said beseechingly, using the only ammunition she knew would work at the moment.
She wanted to tell him that she needed him for her and not just their babies along with everything else that she had buried inside her heart but she decided that now was not the best time. He needed to get well first and then she would tell him. He relaxed beneath her hold and she released a long breath.
She took the opportunity to retrieve a wheelchair that was in the corner of the room so that she could take him to the bathroom but he merely scoffed at her and walked to the bathroom himself, however slowly. Abandoning the chair she followed suit. His gusto vanished a few seconds later as he sank heavily to the edge of the tub, breathing harshly as perspiration beaded on his brow.
She was certain to make no mention of his weakness as she removed the hospital gown and he lowered himself into the bath. Red faced, she washed him gently and thoroughly as he had done for her so many times, brushed his teeth and towel dried him. She thought she saw a hint of amusement in his eyes but she could not be sure as she endeavored to look everywhere apart from his face except when it was extremely necessary.
She was about to don him in a fresh hospital gown when he stanchly refused, hence she had no choice but to let him choose a linen shorts and t-shirt from what Ms. Clarke had packed. No sooner had Jordan returned to bed before Doctor Hedley arrived. Jordan wasted no time in outlining that he needed to leave as soon as possible but Doctor Hedley patiently explained that there were a few technicalities to his condition including the fact that he had taken so long to get medical attention. Thus he would have to stay at least another three to five days just for observation he assured as Jordan was recuperating well.
Jordan was livid but Doctor Hedley paid no attention to his tantrums. He merely administered Jordan's medication, warned Lauren not to overexert herself and quietly left the room. The morning’s activities seemed to leave Jordan worn and soon after Doctor Hedley’s departure he fell asleep.
Hurriedly, she showered, dressed and went in search of breakfast, not wanting Jordan to awake and she was not there. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that he was still asleep when she returned after her meal. She knew it was hard for him to be incapacitated in this manner as he was a man accustomed to going about his tasks unimpeded so she had to be there to offer encouragement, if nothing else. Perhaps now that he slept she could take a nap herself. She adjusted the coverlet around him and clambered to the extra bed that Doctor Hedley had ordered brought in the night before. She had scarcely placed her head on the pillow before she was sound asleep.
A buzz of activity in the room jolted Lauren awake some time later to see Jordan’s parents standing on the other side of his bed.
“I’m sorry, my dear, we didn’t mean to wake you”, Donna Myles said as Lauren rose from the bed; “you must be tired after yesterday’s ordeal”.
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sp; “I’m fine”, Lauren assured them, standing as she realized that night had fallen.
“Oh my God…!” Donna exclaimed enthusiastically, rushing over to Lauren and eyeing her stomach, “may I?” she asked.
Lauren nodded and Donna touched her abdomen lightly fairly bursting with excitement as Jordan and his father looked on; both smiling.
“Oh…” Donna laughed gaily as the babies began to move, “they are quite active”.
“Quite”, Jordan agreed from where he was propped up on a few pillows, sparing a warm smile for Lauren. She smiled back, her heart melting.
Eventually Donna released her and returned to Jordan’s side. They spoke for a while longer; inquiring of Jordan’s condition and expressed their gratitude to Lauren for possibly saving their son’s life. She had felt a bit guilty considering that she could have prevented the situation getting as bad as it had if she had found him earlier than she had. They left with instructions to summon them if there were any changes in Jordan’s condition and they would return in the morning.
The next few days went by in much the same way as the first except that Jordan had a few visitors including Anna who expressed her sorrow at what had happened and offered her support to Lauren by calling every day. Jordan slept through most of the following day and although he grumbled about feeling useless as she bathed him, against her protestations of course, she sensed that deep down he was enjoying being pampered. By the third day however he grew restless and demanded his cell phone and laptop and worked most of the day and late into the night.
She had argued with him about this but he had offhandedly told her that her nagging was more likely to make him ill than sitting in bed and making a few phone calls and using a computer. She had been so upset that she was about to storm out when he called her back and apologized stating that it was all he could do to prevent himself from going crazy. His face had taken on such an earnest expression that her anger had slipped instantly away.
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