by Lori Wilde
Oreos. Double-stuffed. Kept in the refrigerator.
Cold Oreos were not enough to base a relationship on.
As if he was even considering a relationship with you. Stop hoping. There’s no hope. Snuff it out. You can’t dare let him know that you’re hoping for something he can’t deliver. It will just make both of you feel bad.
Besides, she’d violated her own code of ethics, making love to a man whose heart belonged to another woman. She deserved this. She’d known better and she’d allowed it to happen anyway.
Misery ate at her.
There was no other way to handle this than to pretend last night had meant absolutely nothing more than scratching an itch. He would be relieved that she had no expectations from him. When they made land in Florida, he’d go to Jackie, she’d return home to St. Michael’s.
It was the only way to deal with the situation—deny her feelings. What were feelings anyway but fleeting emotions subject to change? It was the sensible solution and it would protect her from a mountain of hurt.
Her mind made up about the strategy to take, she turned over on her stomach and stuffed the corner of the pillow into her mouth so Jeb could not hear her sobs.
*
THE WIND WAS LIGHT and from the south, making crossing the Gulf Stream into Key West easier than usual. With this early start and the calm after the storm, they could just sail right in. He had an open channel straight to Jackie.
Fate had spoken. Even with going through customs and taking Haley to the airport to catch a charter plane back to St. Michael’s, he would have plenty of time to stop Jackie’s wedding.
Except, now he did not know if he wanted to do that.
Jackie seemed so far away, part of another life.
What was real, what was genuine, was the woman standing on the bridge beside him.
Haley.
He cut his eyes over at her.
She seemed so peaceful. A week ago if someone had told him she’d be on his boat and that they would make love and she’d seem so calm about it afterward, he would have laughed. It was an image he couldn’t have dreamed of.
This morning, she’d gotten up and made breakfast and greeted him with a cheery smile when he’d stumbled from the cabin, but when he’d tried to catch her around the waist and give her a kiss, she’d slipped away from him. Her shoulders stiffened and her smile faltered.
Uh-oh. She was giving him the morning-after brush-off. He knew because he’d used it on women, and he knew with absolutely certainty that if they’d been on dry land, she would have taken off in the middle of the night.
The woman had turned the tables on him, giving him a dose of his own roguish behavior.
Except he’d been trying so hard to change. Wanted desperately to redeem himself.
Maybe Haley was the instrument of his final redemption. Even though he’d given in to last night’s wild temptation, he was feeling firsthand what it was like to be used for sex.
The old Jeb would have lapped it up, but this new Jeb was ashamed to think he’d ever made others feel the way he was feeling now.
Taken advantage of.
“Last night—”
“Is over,” Haley said brightly and shoved a cup of coffee into his hand. “I had fun, but there’s no need to dissect it. Things got out of hand and we crossed a line, but there’s no need to feel guilty or ashamed. I release you from any sense of obligation you might be feeling toward me.”
“I…I…” He was speechless.
“We should get going,” she said, “if you intend on breaking up a wedding.”
She’d walked away, gone topside, leaving him with nothing to do but scoot after her.
Jeb didn’t erect the sails, but instead powered up the engines for the ride into Key West.
Haley moved port side, sat down, looked out to sea, her honey-colored hair glistening in the dawn. She looked completely unaffected by what they’d shared last night and her cavalier attitude was a punch in the gut.
She doesn’t care. You should be happy about that. You have a goal, a plan, and Haley isn’t part of it.
Jackie. That was where his future lay.
Why, then, did his chest tighten and a sick feeling rise in his throat?
Why? He’d let Jackie down, he’d let Haley down, but most of all he’d let himself down.
That was the core of it. He’d wanted to prove to Haley that he was an honorable, ethical man. Her high standards had made him want to raise his expectations of himself, but he’d failed. Big-time.
He navigated the boat, but his mind wasn’t on sailing; it was tangled up around Haley, as tight as fishing line. She must have sensed he was staring at her because she swiveled purposely and met his gaze, gave him a brief smile.
His heart capsized.
He had a hundred things he wanted to say to her, but didn’t know how to start. Thank you for the gift of last night. I’m sorry if I’ve caused you pain in any way. I’ll miss you.
She glanced away.
What was she thinking? He couldn’t get a read on her. Which was odd. Normally, with Haley you knew exactly where you stood.
He opened his mouth; shut it. He donned his sunglasses.
She reached into the storage compartment where he kept supplies, took out a bottle of sunblock and squeezed some into her palm.
Not gonna watch her. Not gonna do it.
Jeb tilted his head, slid her a sideways glance.
Haley slathered the lotion over her tanned arms.
Moisture filled his mouth. He licked his lips. Swallowed hard.
Her long fingers massaged the lotion into her skin in slow, rhythmic circles.
He hardened instantly. This was bad.
Haley stretched out one long, shapely leg, rubbed it with a fresh squirt of lotion.
Sweat popped out on Jeb’s brow. He blew out his breath and yanked his gaze away. Drive the damn boat. He clenched his jaw, did his best to think of Jackie and steered the Second Chance toward Key West.
*
HALEY SMILED AND SMILED and smiled, but it was all an act.
Inside, her heart was aching and nausea settled low in her stomach. Last night, she’d thrown caution to the wind and allowed her body to dictate her behavior. Mistake. Huge mistake. And why was she shocked?
She’d asked for this, but she hadn’t expected just how much it would hurt to walk away.
The wind whipped her hair against her face and she kept her eyes glued toward the sea. She would be okay. She would survive this. She was tough.
A tear slid down her cheek. Quickly, she scrubbed it away. None of that nonsense. She’d cried all she was going to cry over him.
She drew her knees to her chest, smelled Jeb’s scent on the T-shirt she wore thrown over the pink bikini. There was no escaping him. Not while she was on this boat.
Land lay ahead. Soon, her adventure would be over.
Jeb navigated the Gulf Stream like a hot knife slicing through cold butter. Haley couldn’t help sneaking surreptitious glances at him. The wind blew his hair back off his handsome face, and his sturdy fingers gripped the wheel. Fingers that just a few short hours ago had been igniting her body in a hundred different ways.
He caught her eye and she quickly glanced away, feigned nonchalance, dipped her shoulder down and stroked the polished wood with her big toe. She missed the sails, how they would billow out wide in the breeze. Missed the sound of the rigging banging against the mast. Motoring into port instead of gracefully sailing in on the wind felt like defeat.
She was going to be okay. It was not the end of the world. Never mind that she was a wrung-out dishrag and her bones were made of rubber. She’d put one foot in front of the other, move through this, past this.
Key. Jeb had given her the key to a new way of being. She could relax and let go. She didn’t always have to be in control, and that was a good thing. She was grateful for the gift he’d given her and she would treasure it forever, even if a hole gaped in the middle of her heart.
>
13
Death roll—A capsize to windward; generally occurs while sailing downwind
THREE HOURS LATER, they made it through customs in Key West. Jeb rented a white convertible and drove her to the airport, where he chartered a plane for her.
“Well,” he said, as they stood in the reception area of Island Conch Charters, other passengers going to and fro, “I guess this is goodbye.”
“It’s been an experience I’ll never forget.”
Their gazes met. The tender look in his eyes held her and a bittersweet smile played at the corners of his mouth.
Outside the window, lightning flashed so close it sizzled brilliantly bright across the sky, immediately followed by a loud clash of thunder. Unnerved, Haley jumped. The ramp crew came running into the building, signaled to the receptionist, who got on the PA address system and announced that the ramp would be closed until the lightning passed.
“Looks like I’ve got a wait,” she said, smoothing wrinkles from the skirt of the little blue flowered dress she’d worn on board Jeb’s ship six days ago. She’d changed so much in such a short amount of time.
Jeb guided her toward a leather couch in the lobby, sat down with her. She wished he’d just leave.
“I want to thank you, Haley,” he murmured.
“For what?”
“Making my life richer.”
If she’d made his life so rich, why was he running off after another woman? “You’re the one who’s enriched my life.”
He reached out to take her hand.
She wanted to resist, pull back. She should have, but instead, she sank against him.
“I’m going to miss you.”
“Ditto.” She could barely push the word past her constricted throat.
“I want to write to you—”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Just as friends.”
“No.” She stepped away from him.
He jammed his hands in his pockets, rounded his shoulders. “I know.”
If only they could be friends! But he’d given his heart to another woman, and Haley was not going to come between them. She’d already crossed a line that she should not have crossed. She refused to compound an error in judgment by encouraging him.
“You should go,” she said coolly.
“Haley—”
“I mean it. Just go.” She jerked her head away, blinking rapidly to banish the tears collecting behind her eyelids.
“You’re very special to me,” he said. “I’d rather cut off my arm than hurt you. I never intended for any of this to happen. You’ve got to believe me.”
Here was the issue. She did believe him, but it didn’t change a darn thing.
He reached for her again.
This time, she was strong enough to ward him off. She held up her palm. Stop sign. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me.”
“But I did,” he whispered.
She wasn’t about to give him that kind of power over her feelings. “I’m fine, Jeb. You didn’t hurt me. Not in the least.”
He looked hurt, then relieved and then suspicious. “You’re just saying that to spare me.”
“Honestly,” she lied through her teeth, “I’m not shattered.”
A sheepish expression crossed his face. “I like you, Haley. I like you a great deal.”
“I like you, too, but that doesn’t matter, does it?”
“What do you mean?”
“C’mon, even if you weren’t on the way to stop your ex-girlfriend from marrying someone else, you and me…” She toggled a finger between them, shook her head. “We don’t belong together, but you and Jackie Birchard? Now, that’s a match made in high-society heaven. You’re both rich, accustomed to fame and move in the same circles. You’re both seafaring folks. You speak the same language. You and me? We’re like hot dogs and caviar.”
“Hey, you took to the sea like an otter.”
Haley traced his face with her gaze. He was the epitome of a wealthy yachtsman and she carried bedpans for a living. No matter how she might try to convince herself otherwise, she would not fit into his world. “It was fun for a while, but you can’t raise kids on the sea, and that’s what I want one day—a husband, kids, an ordinary life. Let’s face it. You’re too extraordinary for me, Jeb Whitcomb.”
“You’re the extraordinary one, Haley French, and I’m the one who’s not good enough for you.”
“While we had a good time in bed, there’s a big difference between heating up the sheets and being good together as a couple.”
He sucked in his breath through clenched teeth and his color paled beneath his tan. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “You’re probably right.”
“I am right.”
“I wish—”
“No sense wishing things to be different. They are what they are.” She forced a smile.
“Haley, I—”
Broken, she swallowed hard. “You better go or you’ll be too late to stop the wedding.”
“What if I were?” he said softly.
She pretended she hadn’t heard him, stood up, turned away, because if she didn’t, she was terrified that she would get down on her knees and plead with him to stay.
*
IT WAS 3:45 P.M.
With fifteen minutes to spare, Jeb drove into the Wharf 16 parking lot where Jackie’s wedding was being held aboard the Sea Anemone, his mind glazed with sweet thoughts of Haley.
He sat in the rental car, picked up his cell to dial her number. Put it down. Picked it up again and then realized he didn’t even know her cell-phone number. How could he be crazy for a woman when he didn’t even know her cell-phone number?
Um, how can you be crazy for her when you’re here to tell Jackie that you love her?
That was just the thing, wasn’t it?
He switched off the phone, watched the digital clock flip to 3:47. Wedding guests walked passed him on their way to the Sea Anemone. Wedding music swelled in the air—the Carpenters, of all things. That sounded too romantic and cheesy for Jackie.
Why wasn’t he jumping out of the car, running up the gangplank, demanding that they stop the wedding? Protesting that he was speaking now instead of forever holding his peace?
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, felt his throat tighten. Haley had said that a seafaring lifestyle wasn’t for her, but he’d seen the way she’d looked when she’d spied those dolphins—free, alive, happy. She said she wanted to get married and have kids some day, and for the first time in his life, Jeb realized he wanted that, too.
A car with a U-Haul trailer towed behind it pulled into the parking lot behind Jeb. A tall man in his early thirties wearing a leg brace got out of the passenger seat and hobbled toward the ship. Jeb recognized the man as Jackie’s older half brother, Boone, but he didn’t call out to the former Iraq war vet. Boone looked to be a man on a mission, his face set into a dark frown.
Jeb knew that he and Jackie had a lot in common—divorced parents, half siblings, money, their love of the sea. They would be perfect together.
Except whenever Jeb closed his eyes, Jackie was not the blonde he saw. Rather it was Haley’s honey-colored hair that clouded his vision, Haley who made his blood pound.
Boone talked to an usher at the gangplank, went over to a building on the pier. It was now 3:50 and still, Jeb sat there.
Jackie and Boone came out of the building together. They were having a serious discussion. Jackie wore an elegant white dress and looked drop-dead gorgeous.
Jeb felt…well, hell, he felt nothing except happiness for her.
No desire. No sexual attraction. No burning need. No desperation.
Instead, he thought of Haley.
He could not say why he was so drawn to her. Sure, she was pretty, but he’d been with more beautiful women—Jackie was a case in point. Maybe it was because Haley had disliked him and he couldn’t stand for people not to like him. In the beginning, he’d done everything he could to impress her, and the
harder he’d tried, the less impressed she’d been. It had only been when he’d stopped trying so hard that he’d begun to win her over.
He thought of the fun they’d had—sailing, spotting dolphins, playing drinking games, saving a manatee, exploring a lighthouse.
Making love.
A rap sounded against the window and Jeb startled.
There was Jackie with the biggest grin on her face. She wrenched open the door. “Jeb!”
He got out and she folded him in an enthusiastic hug.
“I’m so happy you made it. You’re here and Boone showed up with his girl. My two favorite men in the whole world—besides Scotty, of course.” Jackie blushed prettily.
Never, in all the years that he’d known her, had Jeb ever seen Jackie blush.
“We’re holding up the wedding a few minutes so Boone and his girl can join us.” Jackie held out her arms as if she wanted to embrace the whole world. “And now that you’re here, too, my wedding day is complete.”
“Jackie, I…” This is it. The part where you tell her that you love her and that you don’t want her to marry this Scott character.
“Yes?” Her smile was as bright as the sun.
Jeb swallowed, a little stunned. “I’m happy for you.”
It was true. He was happy for her.
Jackie linked her arm through his and tugged him toward the Sea Anemone. Dazed, he simply let her. He wasn’t in love with Jackie. He never had been. Not in a romantic sense. He’d admired and respected her and they were friends, but he’d never felt for Jackie what he felt for Haley.
“What is it?” Jackie asked. “What’s wrong?”
He told her everything.
“You came here to bust up my wedding?”
“Yes, but I no longer want to do that. I can tell from your face that you’re madly in love with Scott.”
“I am,” she said with such conviction it bowled him over. “Now, tell me about Haley.”
He smiled big. “She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever known.”
“You’re in love with her.”
“Yeah,” he admitted.
“So what’s the problem?”
