At the beach cottage, she unlocked the door. He followed her inside, waited while she gracefully slid her shawl from her shoulders and draped it over a hook on the hall-stand.
She turned to face him then stepped close, her hands reaching for his tie.
He laid his hands over hers, stilling the fingers loosening the knot.
‘Are you sure?’ His voice was husky. How strange, he’d been so worried she’d change her mind but now it was him giving her the opportunity to reconsider.
She sighed, her hands flattening on his ribs. ‘Yes. And no.’
‘No?’ He made an effort to disguise the need that was thick in his voice. Was it possible to die of self-control? ‘I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to, darling.’
‘I want to make love with you, Luke, but I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you. I couldn’t bear it.’
‘You won’t. You couldn’t.’ He gathered her into his arms, feeling his own nerves subside as he searched for the words to reassure her. ‘This is us, Terri. Not a competition, not a race. We’ll take it slow, we might have some hiccups, but it doesn’t matter. We’ll get there in the end, darling. Together.’
‘Together. I—I’d like that.’ Her lips pressed softly to his jaw, sending a thrill dancing through his body. ‘Thank you.’
He turned his head, captured her mouth, felt the last tiny moment of hesitation evaporate as her lips opened for him and she kissed him back. She reached up to wind her arms around his neck, her body pressed to his, her breasts flattened on his chest, her belly aligned with his. They stood hip to hip and his heart nearly burst with huge, solid beats.
She pulled away and reached for his hand. ‘Come with me.’
He followed willingly and found himself standing in her bedroom. Moonlight shone through net curtains, spilling across the double bed.
‘I heard it’s your birthday.’
‘Yes,’ he murmured.
‘I—I wondered if you like the wrapping on your present.’ She took his hand and laid it on the line of toggles along her collarbone.
‘I love it.’ He swallowed. ‘Am I allowed to unwrap it now?’
‘Yes, please.’
His eyes on hers, he released the first fastener. Moved to the second.
Terri ran her hands up the smooth thin fabric of his shirt, feeling the heat of his body on her palms. She released the buttons, impatient now to feel his skin on hers.
This man made her feel so special, so cherished. At this moment she wanted him more than she’d have ever believed possible. She wanted it all. Something to remember, something to hold dear in the future. He treated her with such care and affection that she wanted to weep.
They seemed to fit as though made for each other. No fumbling, no clumsiness. She revelled in his touch, her skin coming alive beneath his clever hands. It was special, satisfying, overwhelming. Enriching. She felt exotic and wicked and daring and courageous. He gave her all of that and more.
Much later, Luke propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her.
‘My head’s spinning,’ he said, as he leaned forward to kiss her lips.
She looped her arms around his back and smiled, not caring if her heart was in her eyes. ‘Mine, too.’
He spread her hair over the pillow, slowly, as though he was enjoying running his fingers through the strands. ‘I’ve been having fantasies about doing this.’
‘Really?’
‘Oh, yeah.’ He smiled broadly. ‘Remember that day at the nursery? Allie had to yell to get my attention.’
She laughed softly. ‘She did have to call you a couple of times. You looked so guilty when you finally answered.’
His smile slowly faded. ‘You know it’s too soon for me to spend all night here with you.’
‘I know.’
‘I’d like to.’
‘You’ve got a daughter who needs to be your first priority and that’s the way it should be.’
‘As long as you know I want to stay. Maybe, soon—’
‘Hush, let’s not try to make any time lines, Luke.’ She put her fingers to his lips to stop the words. It was too soon and she wanted to revel in this moment. Bask in what they’d created here, together in the cocoon of her room, her bed. She didn’t want to think about the outside world, the things she still needed to tell him. ‘Let’s enjoy what we have. Right now.’
He growled deep in his throat and gathered her close. ‘I don’t have to leave quite yet.’
‘Mmm. Good.’ She ran her hands up his back, loving the feel of his hard muscles tensing as he moved over her.
Later, she rolled on her side as he slipped out of bed. With her hand splayed over the sheet still warm from his body, she watched him dress.
‘I’m not going because I want to,’ he repeated as he shrugged into his shirt. ‘Promise me you’re not going to read anything into me leaving you like this, darling.’
‘I promise,’ she said obediently.
He fastened his trousers. ‘Why do I get the feeling you’re just saying that?’
She laughed at him. ‘Now who’s reading too much into things?’
‘As long as I’m the only one,’ he said with a sigh. ‘I’ll give you a ring tomorrow. We’ll do something, a barbecue.’
‘Okay.’
‘Okay.’ He stood juggling his keys in one hand, obviously still reluctant to go. ‘Well…goodnight.’
‘Goodnight, Luke.’
At the door, he turned. ‘Promise me—’
‘I do. Now, go home, darling.’ She laughed.
‘You called me darling.’ He came back to the bed and leaned over to press another lingering kiss to her mouth. ‘God, I wish I didn’t have to go.’
‘But you do. Now shoo.’
He sighed. ‘Okay. I’ll lock the door after me.’
After he’d gone, she flopped back on the pillow and stretched luxuriously. Luke was amazing, he made her feel like the most beautiful woman alive.
She laughed out loud at the happiness that fizzed along her veins.
Love. She was in love. How could she not love the man who made her feel so whole and normal?
A tiny doubt tried to creep in but she refused to let it, refused to listen to the malevolent voice that wanted to remind her about the things she hadn’t told him about herself.
She’d faced so much in the last few years…surely she wasn’t so bad for wanting to clasp this moment for herself, to hold tight to the present, not worry about the past and the future. Just for now.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
‘NO REST for the wicked, you two.’
Terri looked around to see Dianne grinning at them from the doorway of the staff lounge.
‘What’s up?’ Luke said.
‘Three victims of a minor MVA on the way in. Details are sketchy but nothing serious by the sound of it. They’ve been scooped up by a Good Samaritan. ETA about five minutes.’
‘Thanks, Dianne.’ Luke picked up his mug and took a quick swallow as he rose to his feet. ‘I’m on my way.’
‘No worries.’ The nurse gave them a quick indulgent smile and disappeared.
Terri’s heart squeezed as Luke winked at her. He leaned down, his breath whispering over her ear as he murmured, ‘I wonder how she knows we’ve been wicked, darling.’
She inhaled sharply then sputtered when her mouthful of coffee went down the wrong way. As she coughed, Luke helpfully patted her a couple of times between the shoulder blades.
‘It might have something to do with being seen all over Port Cavill for the last two weeks holding hands,’ she gasped between small coughs.
‘Good point. Still, nice to have something true circulating on a hospital grapevine for a change.’
He looked so pleased with himself that she couldn’t help laughing. Her own insouciance surprised her. The magic of her relationship with Luke had infected her with a carefree spirit that she hadn’t felt for years.
Her gaze followed him to the sink, enjoying a
quick feast on the lean length of him. She loved the way he moved, confident and full of masculine grace.
He turned, catching her eye, and his smile filled with mischievous intimacy. ‘Relax and finish your coffee.’
‘Thanks.’ Her cheeks flooded with warmth as she grinned. ‘I won’t be long.’
A tiny shadow marred her happiness as she watched him leave the room. She still hadn’t told him everything. Surely it wasn’t so bad if she left it a little longer. Everyday was bringing her a greater sense of belonging, an easiness which meant the words, the courage would come soon.
She sighed as she got up and crossed to the sink. The little pact she was making with herself had disaster written all over it. This weekend. She would talk to Luke this weekend. That gave her just over three days to find the right way to broach the subject.
As she walked down the corridor, she saw Luke and Dianne heading towards the front door. The MVA victims must have arrived. She picked up her pace.
She turned into the main emergency foyer and the scene in front of her exploded into her senses.
A woman. Pregnant. Her groin and legs covered in red. Screams tore at Terri’s ears.
‘My baby. I don’t want to lose my baby. Please, help me. I’ve hurt my baby.’
The air around Terri’s legs turned to heavy syrup, dragging at her steps until she stopped. She felt disembodied. Time jerked past frame by frame.
‘Pete! Where’s Pete?’ the woman sobbed. ‘Our baby…’
Images flashed onto Terri’s retinas, blotting out the scene before her.
Baby in peril.
Mother injured.
Blood everywhere.
Nausea swept up from her toes. She couldn’t do this. Not again. She couldn’t help them. She couldn’t move.
Each pore on her skin iced over. She was failing.
Again.
Failing.
Luke flicked a glance at Terri.
Something was terribly, terribly wrong. She was rigid, face as white as a sheet, eyes fixed on the screaming woman.
‘Terri!’
Oh, God. His voice wasn’t reaching her.
He wanted to go to her, hold her, shield her from whatever nightmare was holding her in its thrall. He sensed Terri’s crisis was the bigger emergency, but the patient in front of him was rapidly descending into hysteria.
‘I’ve hurt my baby. Please, save my baby.’ The woman clutched at his arm, dragging his attention back to her.
‘We’ve got you now,’ he said calmly. ‘What’s your name?’
‘N-Nadia.’
‘Nadia, we’re looking after you and your baby. Are you in any pain?’
‘N-no.’ She hiccuped and looked at him in surprise. ‘Not now.’
As he and Dianne settled Nadia on a gurney, Luke glanced across the foyer. Terri was gone.
It was paint, for God’s sake. Nadia and her husband, Pete, had been travelling with an open can of paint—the pregnant woman had been holding it between her knees so she could stir it.
A contraction had caught them by surprise and Peter had driven into their front fence. With the impact, red paint had gone everywhere. A neighbour had piled the hapless pair into his car and brought them into hospital.
The contractions hadn’t continued so no pattern has been established. Luke suspected it had been a set of Braxton-Hicks’ contractions perhaps exacerbated by Nadia’s fear. They’d keep her in hospital for a few hours and monitor her to make sure everything was as it should be. The baby’s heartbeat was strong and regular.
He’d packed Nadia and her husband off to the showers to wash away the last of the paint and now he had to attend to the real emergency.
Terri.
‘Anyone seen Terri?’
‘I haven’t seen her since…the call about Nadia and Pete,’ Dianne answered, and the others looked around blankly.
‘If you do, page me, stat. Please.’ He ground his teeth. ‘Same goes for any emergencies. I’m going to find her.’
Aware of the circle of concerned faces, he walked out of the department, leaving no words to soothe their fears. He had none.
Urgency drove his steps. He had to find Terri. She’d been shattered. Something about that case had pushed her into some private hell. He’d seen a glimpse of her terror before she’d disappeared. More than terror, she’d looked in danger of disintegrating.
He worked methodically, checking every room. Would she have gone all the way home? For some reason he didn’t think she’d have been able to get that far.
She’d been like a wounded animal, looking for somewhere to tend her injuries, a private place.
He finally found her outside, behind the new gazebo. She was on her knees with her arms wrapped around her body. He could see her knuckles were white as though by gripping tightly she might hold herself together. But even that self-hug wasn’t enough comfort for her. She rocked in a small rhythmic movement that broke his heart.
Weak sun shone on the chocolate of her hair, picking out bright threads of red and chestnut in the thick mane.
He crouched beside her, touched her lightly on the shoulder.
She jerked, her reflex beyond a normal fright response. He could feel the fine tremors that raced through her chilled flesh.
‘Terri.’
The rocking started again.
‘Talk to me, darling. Please.’
‘No p-point. There’s no point. It won’t help. You can’t help me. No-one can. G-go away. Please. Just…go away.’
He sat on the ground beside her, not caring about grass stains, and gathered her rigid body close.
‘Tell me anyway,’ he said as he rubbed her back.
For the longest silence, he just held her, rocked with her. Hoped that his body heat would help to thaw her.
‘S-so much blood.’
‘It was red paint.’ But she didn’t hear him.
‘So much blood,’ she whispered. ‘She killed her husband, sh-she killed her baby.’
‘No! No she didn’t. Terri, listen to me. Her husband is fine. She’s fine. She mightn’t even be in labour.’
‘But the blood…’ She shuddered
He took her face between his hands.
‘Terri. Look at me.’ Her eyes slowly focussed on him. ‘It wasn’t blood.’
‘N-not blood?’ She sounded confused, as though he was speaking a foreign language.
‘Paint. It was paint.’
‘P-paint?’ She tested the word as though trying to divine its meaning.
‘Red paint. Nadia was in the car with an open can of red paint between her knees. She was stirring it.’
‘I s-saw all the r-red.’
‘I know, darling. I want you to come back now.’
‘I c-can’t. I mustn’t. The b-baby…sh-she’ll lose the b-baby. You can’t trust m-me.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘B-bad things happen. I killed my husband. I killed Peter.’
‘The terrorists killed Peter.’
‘And my b-baby. I killed my baby.’
‘You lost your baby in the explosion?’ Oh, God. How had she coped with that, alone, having just lost a husband as well? His heart ached for her. No wonder she was struggling.
‘Yes. My fault. It was all my fault.’
‘Why?’ He needed to hear it all as much as she needed to tell him.
‘I stayed too long. I stayed too long. I should have left as soon as I found out. But I didn’t. I killed my baby.’
‘Oh, darling, no. No, you didn’t,’ he said gently. ‘You’re a wonderful, brave woman who’s carried a terrible burden all by herself.’
‘My baby. My poor baby.’ She made a strangled sound deep in her chest and then the tears started in huge shuddering sobs. His heart broke for her. Just listening to her story was painful beyond belief. He felt powerless in the face of her grief.
Her arms clung to him, desperation in their strength. All he could do was hold her, be her rock. He was going to stand by he
r, to help her heal. Hold her when she needed to cry, encourage her when she was moving forward.
He would love her and protect her and support her until she was better.
And then, by God, she was going to marry him so he could love and cherish her as she deserved for the rest of her life.
Her sobs gradually quieted until the only sound was the distant shushing of the waves.
Reluctantly, he broke the moment. ‘Do you trust me, Terri?’
‘Yes.’ Her voice sounded raw from the weeping, still full of tears ready to be shed.
He was going to ask her to do more, to be braver. To do something that he sensed she needed to do. A first minute step on the journey back to normality.
‘I want you to come with me now. Come and see the young couple who came in earlier. Nadia and Pete.’
‘Nadia and P-Pete?’
‘Yes.’
‘I can’t,’ she said. With the storm of weeping over she’d moved into a passive acceptance of hopelessness. ‘There’s no point. It’s over.’
‘You can.’ He felt like such a bastard asking anything of her when she was so raw and vulnerable. Setting his jaw, he continued, ‘Nothing is over. There’s every point to coming back.’
It was important not to let her withdraw. He was afraid for her, afraid for himself that he would lose her, if he let her retreat now.
‘Come on. Wash your face, powder your nose, whatever it is that you need to do to face the world again today. Just for a few minutes.’
‘I can’t d-do anything for them. I ran away.’ She looked at him through a welling veil of tears. ‘I f-failed.’
He steeled himself against weakening. ‘You ran away because you’re traumatised. You haven’t failed. I don’t want you to do anything for them, I just want you to come and meet them. Not for long, just to see that they are okay. Come on, Terri. You can do it.’
She looked at him and then finally, she took a deep breath and said, ‘I’ll try.’
The bravery in those tiny, barely audible words brought a painful lump to his throat. ‘That’s all I’m asking, darling.’
Anxiety pinched at him as he helped her to her feet. She felt so shaky and frail. The last of her strength and vitality had leached away with her tears, leaving this frighteningly fragile husk.
City Surgeon, Small Town Miracle / Bachelor Dad, Girl Next Door Page 31
