Meeks was sitting at his desk in the library working on a drawing when James and Garnett came in late on the fourth night. James opened the humidor, took out a cigar and sat down on the edge of the couch to talk to him. Garnett brought in a bottle of whisky and poured a shot leaving the bottle on the desk. He walked around the couch when he realized she was sleeping and just barely covered in a blanket. Garnett reached over and pulled up the blanket so it was over her and James looked back to see what he was doing.
“She is the most beautiful creature when she’s sleeping.” James picked up the bottle and took a shot. Mirisa rolled over when she heard James’ voice. “Mirisa, you know the library has a specific purpose other than for your elicit pleasure.”
“James, you make it sound like I am always having sex in the library.”
“Well, it is your favorite place more so than at the card table and I really miss you at the card table.”
“That’s because you were the only one who got to play at the card table. The rest of them were only allowed to watch.”
Garnett smiled. “You really are an extremely naïve little girl.”
“Not really. I have learned what all of you like. Some of it is strange.” Mirisa sat up holding the blanket under her arms while she got up on her knees and put her arm around Garnett’s neck kissing his cheek. James shook his head because she was wearing only her chemise and lace panties that made her pretty much exposed. He reached over and ran his hand around her ass. Mirisa looked back at James and he met her eyes. Meeks lit a cigar and poured a shot.
“Did you wear any clothes when you came down to the library?”
“They’re behind the big chair.”
Meeks smiled. “Appropriate place.”
James walked over and picked them up, handing them to her. Mirisa put on the blouse then turned over on her stomach.
Garnett handed her the bottle. “You really should not drink whisky.” She rolled back over on her back and looked at him upside down. He started to say something and realized that she was in the mood to torture his soul.
“Garnett.”
“Yes Mirisa.”
“Thank you for making me smile in the dark.”
“You’re welcome.”
“And thank you for four wonderful days of privacy.”
They all laughed. “Mirisa being in a house with five children does not fall under the definition of ‘privacy’.”
“It does… because when you put them to bed they don’t suddenly appear at the end of the couch.”
“Touché.”
She finished dressing then checked on the children before closing the bedroom door and lighting the candles along the mantle. She took a long bath and slipped into a black satin nightgown. Mirisa knew Meeks would make her wait until he discovered that she had moved the chocolate. He found her asleep across the bed with the bowl of chocolate on the bed stand. Meeks made sure the fire was banked for the night then went in and shaved. He stripped down and crawling up on the bed next to her running his hand slowly along her jaw as her eyes fluttered before they opened.
“I was waiting for you.”
“I can see that.” He leaned over slowly kissing her. “You are more beautiful today than you were that first time I saw you sitting alone in the water after you had been shot. Your hair was tangled and matted on the side, your eyes were black and blue and you kept trying to touch your arm but it was obvious that it hurt as you scrunched up your adorable little nose. The most beautiful part was the way your cotton camisole was molded to every inch of your body from the water.” Meeks ran his hand across her breasts. “You looked like a lost child who would sit in the water forever or until someone came to rescue you. So very young, so very trusting and so absolutely beautiful. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to just touch you. How many times I had to walk away because the desire kept getting stronger and stronger.”
“I never knew.”
“That was the beautiful part of watching you.”
“Alexander….” Her fingers ran around his waist as he brought his lips back down to hers.
1874
“In January 1874, the outlaws were suspected of holding up a stagecoach in Bienville Parish, Louisiana, and later another between Malvern and Hot Springs, Arkansas. On January 31, 1874, the James gang robbed a southbound train on the Iron Mountain Railway at Gads Hill, Missouri. The war continued to spin off resentment and hate.”
Mirisa looked up as her husband came through the door. Both girls jumped up and into his arms as he bent down. Meeks kissed them and asked what they had been up to all day. Maggie and Sara sat on the end of the couch as they talked over each other as he listened. Meeks told Maggie to take Sara to the nursery to get ready for dinner. They kissed their mother as the boys came through the front door.
James watched them and thought it was amazing at how close and protective they were of each other. When he didn’t find anything on the stove, James took off his gun and looked for Mirisa.
“Did you plan anything for dinner?” He had a tone of impatience.
“I made fresh tortillas which are drying outside and there are roasted chickens and peppers in the outside oven slow cooking.”
“Alright. I’ll finish it.” James turned and left the room. Meeks looked from James to Mirisa.
Garnett and Dominic came in shaking the dirt off at the door. Garnett picked up Elizabeth cradling her in his arms as he talked to Dominic. Mirisa never interfered with any of them bonding with the children when they were babies even if they were dirty. She walked into the kitchen and took down the dishes to set the table.
James came back inside with the plate of tortillas and put them on the counter. He took out the large knife and started cutting up the tomatoes and onions. She watched him for a moment before she decided to set the table. “James.”
“Yes.” He scraped the diced onions into a bowl reaching into the basket for the jalapeno peppers and started chopping.
“Is something wrong?”
James kept chopping and was trying hard to not respond to her. He finally turned around and looked at her. Mirisa didn’t make another move and waited. “Can you check the chickens for me?” James went back to chopping the peppers. She walked outside leaving him at the counter. Mirisa came back in and picked up the large platter and took it outside.
The chickens had started to brown and fall off the bones as she slid them off of the spit onto the platter. Mirisa was struggling with the highest spit when James took it out of her hands and removed the chickens. Mirisa met James eyes and he could tell she had been crying. James put the spit back up and started to pick up the platter. He put it down and gently pulled her into his arms. Mirisa haunted his dreams, she interfered with his card nights and she did it without trying.
“You haven’t been this angry with me in a long time.”
“I’m not angry with you. I’m just having trouble being around you.”
“Why? What did I do?”
“I can’t explain it.” Mirisa put her face against his chest and James kissed the top of her head.
“I’m sorry because I miss you.”
James closed his eyes and held her tighter. Mirisa made it almost impossible for him and James knew if Mirisa ever pushed it he would forget caution completely. James told her he had to take the chicken in and he let go of her.
Mirisa went upstairs to change clothes. James watched her climb the stairs. Meeks watched James watch Mirisa before he turned back to the conversation with Dominic about how well Jonathan was riding.
Mirisa came downstairs dressed in a soft blue cotton dress with her hair pulled back. Dominic thought she looked sixteen years old again. She helped Sara and Maggie up to the table as the boys sat down. James and Meeks put the food on the table and Dominic watched Mirisa as she fixed plates for both girls. She asked Jonathan if he needed help when Matthew told her that he would help Jonathan. Mirisa nodded and smashed her squash for Elizabeth.
They all k
new Mirisa was unusually quiet and if they had the guts to place a bet they would all put money on the fact that she was on the verge of crying. She was concentrating too much on the girls and not making eye contact with anyone. Mirisa finally stood up with Elizabeth and helped Sara down from the table. She took them both to the nursery as Maggie got down and followed them.
Garnett helped James clear the table. “You’ve been awfully quiet. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” James handed Garnett another dish to dry.
“James, I’ve known you a long time, I know your habits, I know what makes you tick and what you enjoy doing when that door closes. You have been avoiding other women on and off for a while but you have been totally disconnected in the last few months.” He put down the towel and lit a cigar putting it in James mouth lighting one for himself.
“I think I need to kill someone.”
“Well, I understand that completely.” Garnett blew smoke rings. “Have you told her how you feel or are you just going to keep avoiding her?”
“No. The issues are with me not Mirisa. I don’t need someone sympathetic and I don’t need to discuss the problems but I am drained from cheap women in dirty rooms.”
“James, if you are not looking for a common woman and you don’t want the cheap ones why haven’t you taken up Catherine’s desire to get married. I mean she’s about a bad as a good girl can get.”
“I know and despite the continuous unfavorable reports I just can’t stay away from her when I’m in New York. She has a hardness that is just on the edge of her sweet smile that just takes you to another dimension.”
“What’s the problem? The fact that all the men around her end up six feet under?”
“I actually find that a challenge and that is probably as sick as it sounds. I really don’t like a timid lifestyle.”
Garnett picked up a couple of shot glasses then sat down in the chair next to the fireplace. Dominic was setting up the chest board with Meeks. “James how long are you going to avoid her and make everyone around you miserable? If the problem is that Mirisa hasn’t made you a father, then be patient."
“You know Dominic, if I want your opinion on anything I will ask for it and I don’t think I have done that yet.”
“Funny because I don’t think I ever asked anyone’s opinion when I was married to Mirisa and yet all three of you were quite willing to give it to me at the drop of a hat.”
“You’re right. I think I liked it better when she was married to you.”
“That’s because she turned to you whenever I treated her badly or ignored her. Tell me, if your feelings for her are so strong why didn’t you ever ask her to marry you?”
“I agree with the first part but I don’t think I would have offered her anything different than what she had with you.”
“I don’t think any of us are particularly alike. We just all enjoy the same after dark activities while avoiding responsibility. You fool yourself if you think you aren’t looking for stability and a family. At least Meeks took the gamble.”
“I don’t think I am looking for either.”
Dominic sat back and studied him. “Then you are lying to yourself because what you have always sought is someone to make your life whole again. The difference between us is that I never knew what a woman brought into a home and you knew then lost it. The reason you have an obsession with talking to women is because you have been searching for something to make your life whole. Like Meeks you want to have a normal life.” He made a move on the chessboard. “I tried to tell you not to ever cross that line but you just wouldn’t listen.”
James shook his head. “I think I need to go for a hard ride in the wilderness which apparently is starting to shrink and I think I need to give up women.”
“Are you talking about Catherine now?”
“Yeah. I just can’t break the tie and yet something is keeping me from committing.”
Dominic looked at him. “Look if you are miserable then take the leap and pray like hell that Catherine’s not successful in killing you. It’s always better to climb in bed with the devil you know.”
Garnett got up and said he was going to play the piano for a while or at least until they decided they wanted to play cards instead of chess. James picked up the bottle and went up to the music room with Garnett. James laid down on the couch placing his arm over his eyes as he listened to the music.
Mirisa took the cigar out of his hand and put it in his shot glass. James took his arm down and looked at her because he hadn’t heard her come into the room. James started to say something and Mirisa put her finger on his lips. James didn’t know when Garnett had stopped playing but the room was completely quiet.
James put his hands on her wrists to stop her. Mirisa stood without a word slipped her dress over her head before straddling him. He moved his hands softly over her hips as his desire continued to climb. Mirisa was softer than James remembered and he missed touching a woman who loved to savor the nuances of the art of seduction. James fingers gently explored the way her body was sculpted. When James looked up and met Mirisa’s eyes, she put her hands over his and she brought her lips slowly down to his. “Mirisa, I can’t be responsible for you getting pregnant.”
“I’ll make sure you don’t if that’s your only fear.” Mirisa kissed James and moved her hands down his stomach. He pulled her hands back up and started to say something. “James, I don’t want to be pregnant so you can quit worrying about it.” Mirisa took in her breath as James’ hands moved lightly.
James lost himself in her and didn’t know if he’d ever find his way back out. He didn’t want to love anyone, he didn’t want to feel anything except the pleasure of holding a woman, any woman, whenever he wanted to as often as he wanted to and he wanted to put Mirisa back in a box. Mirisa could make him abandon all sensibilities just by looking at him and her touch took away any control he ever thought he had. She crept into his nights, her face always appeared when he touched another woman and her kisses were so sweet that James constantly wanted to touch her lips to his. James didn’t understand how Mirisa could have done this or how he could make it stop.
Mirisa put a blanket over him after he fell asleep. Meeks leaned over and kissed her cheek when she curled up next to him. “Did you put him to sleep again?”
“Yes, I think I mentally wear him out.”
“Probably. He’s not used to loving the beautiful naked woman in his bed.”
“I guess I never thought of my attachment as a burden on the four of you but I guess it is.”
Garnett poured another shot. “I brought you my fourth book, The Lonely Juror.”
“We just finished the third one which was so scary and you just changed the subject.”
“That’s because sometimes your little fingers crawl too far into a man. Where there were once boundaries, you actually now spend time setting the damn things on fire.”
Mirisa put her head on her husband’s shoulder. “I think men are wonderful creatures.”
Mirisa sat on the porch reading Garnett’s book as she watched a group of riders off in the distance. More and more people were either passing through Denver or settling into the flatlands around the lodge. The Indian raids were still an issue so the men rarely allowed her or the children to ride south and the issue of Statehood was a frequent topic. She closed her eyes.
“It’s been an awfully long time since you have thought about me. I was beginning to think you had forgotten.”
Mirisa smiled because out of all the men in her life Conrad probably had the best sense of humor though she didn’t always appreciate it. “It has been a long time but I have been very good lately.”
“Mirisa, do you realize what path you have taken?”
“Yes.” She sipped her tea and put the cup down. “I think sometimes what you leave behind is as important as the life you live. They have pulled out so many emotions from me. They have coerced me and teased me, they have put me in danger and saved me but
mostly they hold me when I am sad. They have always held me."
“Then you believe you owe them?”
“I owe them everything and they have asked for nothing in return.”
“They have asked for a lot in return you just don’t recognize it.”
“If I haven’t recognized it, does it exist?”
“You realize that Dominic will soon ask for the boys to raise and when he does Jasmine will go with him?”
“I know. I want to stop it and I can but the fact that you are talking to me means that it is what is supposed to happen. I think they all knew when he divorced me that slowly my sons would move from my arms to his. I guess it’s only right that he raise them and I have no doubt that he will teach them well. He is a good father.” She sighed. “I just don’t know if I can let them go. I just don’t know if I can.”
“It’s hard to let one’s child go especially at a young age.” He lit a cigar and crossed his legs at the ankles as he leaned back against the post of the porch. Mirisa thought about the first time she saw Conrad in the woods. He smiled because she always forgot that he could hear everything she thought. “I thought you were so naive but brave.”
“When?”
“The day by the bridge.” Mirisa smiled and stood up. Conrad took her in his arms. “It’s a very unusual path you have chosen but you continuously prove that even though you can see the paths clearly that you choose to create your own where none exists.” He ran his hand down her cheek to her chin. “I’m here whenever you need me.”
“It was never intended for me to stay with Dominic was it? It was never intended that my sons would stay with me?” Mirisa bit her lip trying so hard to stop the tears.
“No.”
Mirisa put her palm on Conrad’s heart and laid her head on it. Conrad could feel the heat of her breath and it reminded him of his wife on the day they left their first son with Jake and Sara as they made the difficult journey west.
The Visitor Page 3
