by Paula Roe
Finn held her face steady between his hands and took her mouth as if she was his own private banquet. He feasted upon her, tongues tangling, lips crushing, until they were both breathless. He seized everything she offered, not caring that his blood was pounding through his veins so quick and hard that his whole body vibrated with the force of his desire. Not caring that he was here for one purpose only and that didn’t include seducing his wife.
Not caring that his knee was wedged between her legs, shoving apart the robe so he could now feel her damp heat of arousal on his thigh.
All it did was serve as fuel to a naked flame, licking him from head to feet. Her towel fell to the floor. He grabbed her nape and with it, handfuls of silky damp hair. Angling her mouth across his and deepening the kiss, he heard her muffled groan of pleasure.
Every nerve exploded, sending shards of pleasure throbbing through his body. His groin pulsed and suddenly he wanted to throw her down onto the floor and bare her body to his gaze. To lick and nibble and taste. To take her every which way he possibly could—from the back, the side, bent over the desk—
The ferocity of his thoughts pulled him up short, dragged his mouth from her swollen one with an oath. Stunned gray eyes stared back at him.
As quickly as Ally had been thrust into the past, reality came crashing back. They were in his hotel room. She was practically naked. His knee was intimately jammed between her legs.
And she was damp with wanting.
That’s the way it was, had always been, for her. As if she was a Christmas tree festooned with lights and with one flick of the switch, Finn could turn her on.
Her readiness for sex had become just one of their many intimate jokes.
His thigh tensed and moved, steely muscle rubbing damp wetness. With a small groan of dismay she pulled away, then winced as his hands remained entangled in her hair.
“You promised!” She jerked back, desperate to put some distance between her memories and the overwhelming reality of the here and now.
He finally released her, dragging his fingers through her hair slowly, almost longingly. As if he’d been wondering what she felt like and now couldn’t get enough of it.
His eyes were dark and filled with passion, his mouth grim. And he had touched things that hadn’t been touched in an eternity.
Ally let her arousal dissolve into anger as she took a step back. “Are you trying to seduce me?”
“Can’t you feel it?”
Stunned into silence, she shook her head to clear the fuzziness. “What?”
“My theory.”
“Your..?”
“Earlier today. After I touched you—”
She flushed. “Yes.”
“I was…thinking about your mouth.”
She blinked slowly.
Finn felt his throat become thick with the thought of recall, as though he’d swallowed a cup of rich chocolate and couldn’t quite clear his voice. With the devil on his shoulder he added with a tilt to his lips, “I was thinking about your lips. Tongue. How you’d smell, all warm and sweaty under me.”
She flushed bright red. “And your point is?”
“I remembered something. Which leads me to my theory.”
He waited for her to make the connection and when she did, it widened her eyes and sent a flush across her cheeks.
“You think,” she said hoarsely, “the key to recovering your memory is you and me…us…?”
“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting.”
The air was suddenly charged with heat as he watched her shove her hands in her hair, hot-pink nails diving into the tangled mass of damp sun-kissed chestnut. Even something as innocuous as her ears were perfectly shaped, he realized. Imagine taking that delicate lobe between your teeth and sucking, making her moan with pleasure….
He felt himself tighten. She was damn cute when she frowned, that little crease of concentration between her eyes so adorable he wanted to kiss it.
“Let me get this straight,” she said. “You think us getting physical may result in jogging your memory?”
“Ja.”
“How physical?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Is this your way of asking for sex?”
The outrage in her eyes belied her nervousness; she swallowed so hard he could see the muscles convulse in her throat. “Is that the real reason behind this outrageous suggestion? So you can have the convenience of—”
“No,” he cut her off firmly. “I don’t play games like that. All I know is that yesterday I got a flashback. That’s two if you count the time I found your letters in my basement. I think it’s somehow caused by intense emotion. Physical emotion. It’s a kind of trigger. It must be.” He wanted to believe that. Needed to believe that.
After seconds of silence, she shook her head.
“How convenient for you.” Her eyes blazed at him, sending a small ribbon of doubt through his mind. “No-strings-attached sex into the bargain. I’ll not satisfy an itch you have nor will I let you justify it by dressing it up as a fishing expedition. It’s absurd.”
“Is it? Are you saying this attraction we have is just a pretense? That I’m faking it? That you are?” His lip curled. “Give me a little credit, Ally. I’m not happy about it. But it doesn’t change the fact that it exists. And if we can use it, then all the better.”
Her mouth opened—to deny, he thought—but no sound came out. He must have struck a nerve because she snapped her mouth shut and crossed her arms. The light of battle in her eyes dimmed a little.
“No.”
“No, what? That you can’t feel the attraction?”
“No, I will not have sex with you.”
“Are you afraid?”
“Of you? No.”
He leaned forward, indulging his senses in the subtle fragrance of her washed hair and clean skin. His blood began to pound. Need clawed at him but he refused to acknowledge the underlying danger beneath it. He would have her, before he drove himself insane imagining what he could not remember. “So why wouldn’t it work? Nothing else has come close.”
“We’ve only been at this a day. Shouldn’t you give conventional methods a chance before we start jumping into bed?”
“Time is one thing we do not have. It could work.”
“And if it doesn’t, at least we’d have a good time trying? Don’t answer that,” she added as he opened his mouth.
He frowned. For a smart woman, she could be incredibly slow on the uptake. They both felt the attraction, the zing between them. They would be great together.
Her eyes squeezed shut as she reached up to shove her hair away again, muttering, “I don’t…”
Ally jumped as his hands imprisoned her arms above her head. His body blocked out the light from the small table lamp, cast his face in shadows. Still, she could feel the palpable emotions—irritation, reluctant control and white-hot desire—and she stilled, holding her breath. The way he made her feel so…tiny, so delicate, had once excited her. Now she was just plain aggravated. And hot, which she couldn’t blame on the weather. Rats.
He ran his gaze over every inch of her face, a silent quest that pulsed with energy. An unexpected image of him taking her here, now, with the elegant velvet-clad walls rubbing against her naked skin stuttered her breath.
She prayed he couldn’t sense that. He had always been able to tell when she was aroused; it was as if the man had a high-frequency radar tuned on to her or something.
“We’ve shared our bodies before,” he murmured. “I’ve touched you intimately. Yet when I get in your personal space or want to know something more than you’re prepared to give, you backpedal like a world champion.” His unrelenting scrutiny held the power to burn and she could feel her skin begin to sizzle. “What scares you more…bringing up the past? Or the fact that we can’t fight this?”
It was a fake kiss, one made just to prove a point. It was hot and powerful and full of pure brute force. His mouth ground down on hers
, taking, ravishing without a thought as to what she wanted.
Do something, Finn silently demanded, meeting her furious gaze with his determined one. Say something. Push me away, so I’ll know you don’t want this, that you’re not interested. Then I’ll back off. But despite the depth of his frustration fuelling the moment, she willingly opened up, wrapped her arms around his neck and sweetly invited his tongue in. It was as if by giving in to him, taking all he had to offer, she could make the moment hers.
The second he realized what she was doing—that she was actually welcoming him—he tore his mouth away with a muttered curse.
They stayed stock-still, their racing breaths muting the white noise of their heartbeats. Finn just stared at her, an indefinable expression in his eyes and the restraint of a thousand men holding him in check.
Their weighted silence broke when a car horn tooted below and someone yelled an obscenity.
With her skin tingling with awareness, Ally gently exhaled, gathering enough courage to ensure her voice never wavered.
“I’m not—” She coughed then to clear the passion-laden huskiness. “I’m not scared. You’ve just changed so much…You’re a different person.”
He stepped back, giving her a much-needed respite. “So you can’t predict how I’ll react.”
“Exactly.”
“I thought I was the one who liked predictability.”
“You’re twisting my words.”
“Am I?”
“Yes. I like my life free of conflict.”
His mouth quirked in sudden understanding. “You’re conflicted?”
“It’s you. You’re…you…throw me off balance.”
Her eyes widened as he leaned forward to brush away an errant curl from her cheek, gently tucking it behind her ear. Before she had a chance to throw up her shields, he brought his mouth to her ear.
“You’re dealing with this the wrong way, Ally. Stop fighting and it gets easier,” he whispered, sending teasing warmth skittering down her back. “And you promised to help me. I intend to see you honor that promise.”
Ally wanted to fight against this sexual pull, but ever since he’d turned up, she’d been swimming against the tide. He could be right. And even if he wasn’t, her hormonal body wanted this more than anything she’d ever wanted in her entire life. It was stupid to deny it when they were just so physically in tune. And here was the perfect excuse. She could take advantage of her needs with a clear conscience.
What if it works?
With a deep breath she gritted her teeth and shrugged off the delicious anticipation. “No. It’s dumb idea.” As his mouth quirked, she stammered, “Anyway…we haven’t exhausted all other angles yet. There’s a way to go yet.”
He tilted one eyebrow devilishly. “As you wish. But I don’t know why you’re fighting it, elskat. We have chemistry. Why are you denying the inevitable?”
Twelve
The next morning, as the sun began to rise, Finn gave up all pretense of sleeping and headed for a long, cold shower.
When he padded into the living area, Ally was seated in a corner of the two-seater, legs encased in a pair of cargo pants and curled beneath her, sipping a glass of orange juice.
She’d scraped her hair back into a messy ponytail and the tank strap under her white shirt was slipping off her shoulder. He resisted the sudden urge to straighten that strap, test the warm-looking skin beneath it.
“How did I get to the spare room?” she said, looking up.
“I carried you. You fell asleep on the couch at 1:00 a.m.” His smug glance said “I told you so” so clearly she wanted to throw a cushion at him but wisely refrained.
“So you slept well?” he queried. Still damp from the shower, he pulled a towel from his neck and began drying his hair, ignoring her widened eyes.
“Yes, thank you.” The small shadows under her eyes belied that, but Finn let it go. “I’ve been thinking about what you said about the Bliss Awards.”
“Which part?”
“About it being an important milestone in my career. If I don’t turn up it’s my loss. If I do, I’m still drawing attention to myself. Either way I lose.”
“You don’t like the attention?” he asked curiously.
“No. I’m a private person. But if I go, I can use it to my advantage.”
“So we’re going.”
“You don’t have to—”
He sighed. “We have no choice. Do you think Simon has kept his mouth shut about me?”
She looked pained. “Probably not. Do you still want to go?”
The inflected doubt in her voice sent a ribbon of protectiveness coursing through him. “I do.”
“So we need to get you something formal.”
His hands went to the towel to retie it and her eyes followed his movement.
He hid a smile as he ran a hand over rock-hard abs, flicking away the last drops of water. He watched her watch him, her gaze darting up to his. When he winked at her, she looked away, a flush staining her cheeks.
She stared at the mess on the coffee table. “How did you get on with those letters?”
“No improvement in the memory. Yet.”
“Oh.”
They both fell into significant silence.
“Look,” Finn began, his hands on his hips, hating what he was about to say after all that effort to convince them both last night. “If you want to reconsider what I said last night—”
“Do you?”
His blood began to throb again, much to his exasperation. “No.”
“Okay.” He heard her small intake of breath, as if she were drawing in courage. “So at least I know where you stand. Hopefully, this week might yield better results, especially with these awards. So…” She paused, looking at him expectantly. He just quirked up an eyebrow. Finally she said, exasperated, “go and put something on!”
He smiled again, enjoying her discomfort. “You have a problem with naked?”
“You’re not naked. Not completely.” She flushed and his grin turned wicked.
“You can always come and watch.”
Ally was on her feet quicker than a cat. “I need some air.”
Finn smothered a laugh as he went into the master bedroom. Deny it, lille skat, but you are interested.
He took that as a good sign.
“Are you okay?”
“Will you stop asking me that?” Ally said as they stepped out of another air-conditioned department store and into the afternoon heat of Pitt Street Mall. “I’m fine.”
“A woman who tries on a dozen dresses and still walks out empty-handed is not okay.”
“I’ve got a perfectly good outfit at home.”
“So you didn’t like that blue dress?”
She sighed, remembering the long, flattering empire lines, the satin-ribboned straps. The fashionable jagged hem overlaid with sheer organza that shimmered rainbow colors when she’d moved. “I loved the dress. But I don’t need it.”
“You still don’t look fine.”
“Gee, thanks. What are you doing?” She took a step back as he placed a hand on her forehead.
“You’re hot.”
“It’s a hot day.”
Ally jammed on her sunglasses as the mall’s lunchtime crowd ebbed and flowed around them. The street canopies gave some relief from the sun, but she still felt the trickle of sweat down her back. The warmth under her armpits and the heaviness in the pit of her stomach just made her feel icky—despite all the water she’d drunk and the decent breakfast she’d consumed.
“You look awful.” Finn studied her carefully.
“Ever the flatterer.” Yet she didn’t argue when Finn took her keys as they reached the car, instead gratefully settling in the passenger seat with a sigh.
She must have dozed off because the next thing she knew, Finn was unsnapping her seatbelt, then swinging her up into his arms.
She struggled but he tightened his grip. “Quit it, Ally. I don’t want to drop you.”<
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In a sleepy haze she let him carry her up the stairs, open her apartment door with absurd dexterity and finally walk into her bedroom.
But when he deposited her on the bed and began to undo her pants, she shoved him away. “I don’t need you to undress me.”
He stepped back, crossed his arms and watched her fiddle with the button fly for long agonizing seconds.
“Oh, for helve,” he muttered, then reached down and flicked open the buttons with ridiculous efficiency. Before she had another chance to protest, he yanked off her pants, pulled the sheet up and placed an impersonal kiss on her forehead.
“Pushy Dane,” she muttered, then turned over, shoved a pillow under her head and promptly fell asleep.
Two hours later Ally woke to the annoying jangle of the phone. She let the machine take it, eying the clock: 4:02 p.m.
“Ally? It’s Julia.”
With a groan, she rolled out of bed. She’d been avoiding her mother’s calls since she’d quit the magazine. Telling her would only lead to other things and she just wasn’t up to having that you’re-going-to-be-a-grandma conversation. Not now. Not yet. Julia’s reaction would be typically over the top: enthusiastic and smothering…everything she hated and refused to accept now she was an adult.
Ally snorted as she walked down the hall and into the living room. Grandma Lexie had been her real mother. She’d been there through chicken pox, training bras and first dates. Through career changes, rent increases, bad haircuts and that weird protein diet that had sent her metabolism haywire. And most of all, she’d been a grounded, sympathetic shoulder to cry on when Julia occasionally breezed in with gifts and promises of playing a more permanent role in her life, then inevitably walked right out again.
After she went into the living room and spotted Finn on the balcony, she pressed the playback button on her machine. The first message was from Tony, the following two were hang-ups. The next was her mother.
With an exasperated sigh, she shoved her hair off her forehead.
