Forgotten Marriage

by Paula Roe

  Finn blinked and paused, then drew in a ragged breath, once then twice. Then he continued.

  Forty-five percent of all Sørensen Silver’s shares are to go to you, with the remaining forty-five shared amongst the current board members, Louisa included. Ally will receive a ten percent share. You know that Louisa has been an integral part of the designing team for years, so that would hardly be a shock. But Ally?

  I liked her from the moment we met. I started to love her like a daughter. Thanks to her, I began to realize something. Family is more important than working fifteen-hour days. There’s no time like now to get to know my son, to live and experience life outside the boardroom. She was my wake-up call, if you like. She was good for you and you…well, you just couldn’t see that. Too stubborn, too focused on work.

  Sounds like someone we know, hmm?

  Okay, now I’m rambling and you know how I hate that. I contemplated a reconciliation demand but that would’ve tied the company up for years in court. The next best thing is this controlling share which will keep her in your life, force you to talk to her.

  Because I did so little of it, I strongly recommend communication. Work it out. In the end, I know you still love her and that’s all that matters.

  Your father,

  Nikolai Sørensen.

  Finn sat back on the chair and drew in a staggering breath, his brain overwhelmed with discovery.

  He’d thought he’d understood the kind of man his father was. Distant and driven. In control. Focused. He’d accepted that from an early age, had even come to admire the way Nikolai had operated in the business world. So he’d mirrored those traits and had quickly become known for his sharp decisions, his tireless pursuit of excellence.

  But now…

  The rug had been firmly pulled out from under his feet, leaving him confused and unsure.

  He strangled out a short laugh. It wasn’t exactly how his father had planned it, but thanks to the man’s actions, he’d still managed the correct end result.

  A key rattled in the lock and Ally stepped through the door. Her hair was ruffled into a seductive mess, her skin flushed. Finn took a moment to take his fill of her, the unbelievable sight of this amazing woman. His gaze dipped to the non-existent curve of her belly below her white T-shirt.

  The mother of his child. The one person who had literally changed his world.

  You can stop searching.

  His heart began to beat just that little bit faster.

  “Croissants were a ten-minute wait. I thought we could go to…” She paused at the look on his face, gently closed the door behind her. “What’s the matter?”

  He took a deep steadying breath, trying to center himself. “I know what happened.”

  He waited a heartbeat, then another. The quicksilver play of emotions flitted across her face, widening then narrowing her eyes with shock…elation….

  Pain.

  “Your memory’s back?” Her tiny breathy voice was part joy, part hurt as she carefully placed the keys on the hall stand.

  “No. Louisa called me. The codicil’s been found.”

  Panic surged through Ally’s body as her entire world tipped up and she fell off the edge.

  There is no happily ever after for you and Finn. Did you forget?

  “So. Okay. Good. You found the codicil.” She crossed her arms, trying to stop the trembling that had started in her legs and was now spreading quickly to her belly. “Where was it?”

  Looking weary and drained, he dragged a hand across his stubbled jaw. “Nikolai wrote it at the hospital and got a nurse to witness it. When he was in surgery, Marlene bribed the nurse to steal it. Apparently the woman thought she could make more as a criminal and tried to blackmail her.”

  “How did you find all this out?”

  He shook his head disbelievingly. “The thief’s husband came to us. He found the papers and contacted the company.” He hesitated for a second, then two, as if unsure how to proceed.

  “So. Okay.” Ally swallowed the pain welling up in her throat. Don’t you cry. Don’t you dare cry. “That means you’ll be going back home. Did you get the deed for this place drawn up? I’ll also need you to sign those divorce papers—”

  If she’d just slapped him across the face he couldn’t look more shocked. “Ally—”

  “Don’t make this harder than it has to be, Finn,” she said firmly, belying the devastation in her heart. “You need to go.” What about what I need? “And the company needs you. You are Sørensen Silver now.”

  “And so are you.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “My father gave you a ten-percent controlling share.”

  She took a step backward and bumped into the couch, eyes wide. “What?”

  “That’s what I was about to tell you before. I have forty-five percent, the rest of the board has the same. You got ten.”

  The tingle of panic shot through her veins. “Why would Nikolai do that?”

  “Because he loved you like a daughter.”

  Choking back sudden tears, she said in a small voice, “I don’t want it.”

  “You’ve got it.”

  “I don’t care. I’ll…” She groped, desperate for a solution. “I’ll sell it back to you.” She tunneled her hands into her hair, then stilled as a horrible thought suddenly occurred. “How long have you known?”

  His silence, the look in his eyes, said it all.

  She blinked incredulously. “You knew. All the time you knew!”

  “Ja.”

  The pain was like a physical wound, ripping her chest apart. “You promised me. No lies.” A new thought twisted inside, burning a hole in her gut. “Was this part of your plan? To keep me in the dark so I’d have no choice but to turn to you?”

  “No!” His furious denial shocked her so much she blinked. He went on more calmly, “I don’t want any more secrets between us. And even if we hadn’t found the codicil, I’m still going to look after you and the baby. I—”

  “I don’t need to be looked after.” I want you! Ally fought with the sob in her throat, choked down the tears. “Max offered me my old job back. I can support myself. And I don’t want a part of something that tore us apart. I never wanted it.”

  He gave her a look that said she was being unreasonable or hysterical or both. “Do you think I’d walk away and leave my wife and child to fend for themselves?”

  No! It was worse than she’d imagined. Instead of him leaving—one big rip of the Band-Aid—Finn was coming back to do this all over again. And after a while, a year, maybe two, he’d get the yearning for his homeland, become bored with not being on the company frontline and leave. Again. She’d be forced onto that damned roller-coaster ride, the highs of his return, the uncertainties of his extended absences. They would dredge up the same arguments and she would feel exactly the same, loving him so desperately she’d do anything to have him.

  Even entertaining the thought of staying married.

  She loved him desperately. So desperately she’d willingly renege on all those promises she’d made, all those vows not to have her heart broken again and never, ever to leave herself so vulnerable.

  Ally’s insides clenched. Hadn’t he taken enough? What more could she possibly give without losing her very sanity?

  “Do it for our child, Ally. Take my offer,” he said softly.

  She firmly swallowed the tears that threatened to spill over. It was an offer. Not a declaration of love, not a commitment. An offer. Just like another of his business deals.

  She shook her head miserably and turned away, unable to stand the perfect, painful sight of him any longer. “No.”

  She heard him sigh. “Ally.”

  “Please, just go, Finn. You found the codicil so there’s no reason for you to stay.”

  And because she couldn’t bear the pain anymore, she pushed past him, ran into the bedroom and locked the door.

  He pounded and yelled but, with a whimper, she curled up into a ball on the bed
and shoved her hands over her ears.

  The slam of the front door a few minutes later confirmed his departure. With a moan of despair, she began to sob.

  Ally watched a passing plane fly by the bedroom window and knew that it was finally over. Surprisingly, she didn’t cry again—not when she opened the door, not when she sat on the couch, staring at the carefully folded sheaf of papers on the coffee table, numb with shock.

  Maybe I’ve finally gone insane, she thought dispassionately.

  Why else would she let fear of the past still continue to keep a stranglehold on her actions?

  He wanted to meet his responsibilities and support the baby. That was a lot more than other men offered and she would be an idiot to pass up that chance.

  But the cold, hard truth was that Finn wasn’t in love with her. She shouldn’t have been surprised about his offer to support the baby: duty and honor always came first with him. But duty was not enough. She wanted more. And as much as she wanted him, it killed her to know he would never turn his back on everything just to be with her.

  Which meant she had no part in it.

  She scowled at the patio doors, at the now-annoying wind chime tinkling merrily in the breeze. Now that she owned a controlling share of Sørensen Silver, Finn was under no financial obligation to help her. She could live comfortably on the profits or sell her shares back to him. He could walk away without looking back.

  Which is exactly what he did.

  So now that she had what she wanted, why was she so damn miserable?

  The baby. Think of the baby.

  Yet all she could think of was the missed chances, all the hours they’d spent together when she’d thought of confessing her feelings, reasoning be damned.

  And now it was too late. She had the papers to prove it.

  She reached out for the bundle and wearily unfolded it. He’d left his end of the bargain and signed her—

  Frowning, she flicked through the pages, searching for the divorce decree and the ownership papers. Instead it was just a bunch of e-mails from that darn memory box.

  What on earth…?

  She slapped them down on the table and sprang to her feet. Finn had left and broken his promise. She had no home. They were still married. Her life was exactly back to where she’d been a month ago, except now she was haunted by the bittersweet memories of his passion and betrayal.

  The snick of a key in the lock made her glance up and suddenly he stood there framed in the door, looking like every dream she’d ever had, every desire unfulfilled.

  “Dammit, Finn, what the hell are you playing at?”

  Dreams didn’t scowl at her like that. Nor did they slam doors and glare right back.

  “You’ll have to be more specific.” He tossed a bakery bag on the table. The smell of warm flaky pastry floated into her nostrils, confusing her.

  “I thought you’d left!”

  “Why on earth would I do that?”

  “You found the codicil—”

  He took a deep breath then let it out in a groan of frustration. “Forget about the stupid codicil for one second! I’m in love with you! Why would I want to leave?”

  She blinked. “You what?”

  Then something strange happened. All that bluster drained from his face, leaving him looking suddenly vulnerable.

  “Why did you—?”

  “What made you—?”

  They both paused, until Finn closed the space between them and put a silencing finger on her lips. “Let me speak.”

  He rubbed his palm over his chin, taking a few seconds to gather his thoughts and looking so wonderfully touchable and yet so untouched that it made Ally want to weep.

  “I don’t want to leave,” he finally said. “Not again. I can’t do it. For helve, Ally…” He took a shuddering breath, the look in his eyes deadly serious, “Do you know you just scare the hell out of me?”

  Her lip started to tremble. “Why?”

  “Because I had you once but threw you away. And knowing that absolutely kills me. Because you know me inside out, as no one else does. You understand me. Because—” he hesitated, as if trying to steady the waver in his voice “—I look at you and my…my heart just stops. I want you. I love you.”

  Shock sent her back into the rigid coffee table as she shook her head in denial.

  “Believe me, elskat, I certainly didn’t count on it.”

  He looked so downright aggravated that she stuffed back the hysterical laugh welling up inside. But before she could say anything, he produced some papers from his back pocket. “I took so long because I went to sign these.”

  “The apartment?” She took the sheaf from him, unrolled it. Two shiny keys fell out.

  “No. A house. Up on Beach Road. Six bedrooms, ocean views, balcony, huge backyard.”

  “You can’t…”

  “I can. Paid cash. It’s ours.”

  She blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “What are we going to do with six bedrooms?”

  He grinned. “More kids?”

  She put out a trembling hand to cover her mouth. “I mean—” she swallowed “—you can’t do this again. What if you remember? What if everything we’ve shared these past weeks is too good to be true? I couldn’t stand it if you ended up hating me all over again.” She searched his face, begging him to understand.

  Finn saw the raw hurt, the panic shadowing her eyes and fell just that little more in love. He’d put her through so much pain, so much heartache. He’d made her doubt herself, doubt the sincerity of his actions.

  The loathing he felt for the man he’d once been engulfed him for agonizing heartbeats, until he knew what he had to do. He had to show her how much he loved her so she’d never doubt him again. Ever.

  “Ally, I wish I could tell you why I did all those things before, but I will never completely understand it,” he said softly, resting his hands on her shoulders and staring into her wide vulnerable eyes. “Yes they happened and I am sorry for that. Yes, I kept quiet about your share of the company because I wasn’t sure we would find the codicil. I couldn’t get your hopes up just to destroy them. You have to believe me.” He was surprised to hear his voice break, feel his hands shake.

  She said nothing, just dropped her chin and let the curtain of hair fall across her face. Gently, almost reverently, he tucked it back behind her ear.

  “The man you once knew is gone. And if you let me, I’ll spend the rest of our lives showing you. Ally, elskat, look at me.”

  She brought those eyes up to meet his, turbulent and threaded with worry. “I might never get all my memory back. But what I do know is enough. Your smile, the way your hair slides across your face. The way you smell. And the way I loved you. The way I love you now,” he amended, his throat thick with emotion. “A love of respect and honesty and hope. I’ve been given a second chance with you. To be a family. I want that so much,” he laid a hand over her belly, thinking of the life that grew within, of the second chance he’d been handed like a gift from heaven. “I want this baby and I want you. My wife.”

  The wife he’d never known. And for that he would be completely and utterly grateful. Out of tragedy came a blessing he would never cease to marvel at. It blew him away at the very thought.

  “I remember…” He took a shuddering breath under her unblinking gaze. “I remember it rained the day we met—your shirt was see-through and you were wearing a red bra. I remember our wedding day, the way you couldn’t stop giggling at the celebrant. And I remember feeling nothing but a deep, aching loss when you left me, as though someone had severed a part of my soul. But most of all—” he swept his eyes over her face, coming to rest on her trembling mouth “—I remember I loved you. I still do. Which is why I’m staying here. With you.”

  She shook her head disbelievingly. “What about the company? Your family? Friends?”

  “How can I explain?” His sigh shuddered through him as he grasped for the words. “That life was killing me. You could see it,
even tried to convince me. It’s taken the accident to show me what was really going on—how I need you. I don’t want to go back if it means losing you. The lawyers can sort out this codicil mess and the company…” He blew out a breath. “Nikolai had been negotiating an expansion into the Asia Pacific market. Sydney was his first choice and if you’re willing, I’m going to head the team.”

  “But—”

  “I know what you’re thinking.” He put his hands on her arms, stroked down the length. “But this time it will be different. Work won’t come between us again. I’ll hire extra people, whatever it takes. If I want to work, that is. Being full-time parents has a certain appeal.” He gave her an uncertain smile.

  “You not work? I must be delirious.”

  Tentative threads of hope began to weave around his heart, only faltering when she shook her head and said weakly, “You can’t give up everything for me…”

  “I wouldn’t. You, this baby, our future—that’s my everything. Before you I was just a bitter, selfish man.”

  “No. You were just driven. Focused. I admired that. I still do.”

  He shook his head. “Defending me again. I must have been a fool to let you go.”

  “At last, something we do agree on.”

  At that precise moment, when she smiled, nothing in his life compared to the relief flooding his heart. He pulled her into his arms and welcomed her warm heat like a man who’d been left in the cold for way too long. “We both made mistakes. And my biggest one—” he rested his forehead against hers, took a shuddering breath “—is that I let you go. I won’t let that happen again, elskede.”

  My love. Ally closed her eyes as tears began to well up.

  “For someone not prone to flowery speeches, that was a doozy.”

  She felt his smile stretch across her cheek and her heart swelled up, threatening to choke off her air. He was everything she was still so deathly scared of, yet everything she dared hope for.

  So she went with the only option her heart would allow—with one deep breath she leaped over the cliff edge.