by Ann, Bry
But looking at her, I wish it was different.
“I brought tea.”
Danny runs over and grabs the mugs. They are all plain white. I glance at Isla. She seems like someone who should have colorful, floral mugs. Why is all her stuff so plain?
“Isla, why is all your stuff white?” I ask as I thank Danny for the tea.
She brings her mug to her lips with a sigh and rolls her head to look at me.
“No time.” Her eyes flutter. “Never enough time for pretty things.”
That’s so… sad.
“You need to make time for that, hun.”
She doesn’t say anything. Simply rolls over and sets her mug down on the dresser. Her eyes go to Danny.
“Thanks for coming.”
She gives him a tired smile. He gets a fierce look on his face.
“Of course I came, bug!”
“I know you want to ask. I didn’t see your dad there, Danny. I think ice man,” she says through a yawn, “Slice, paid him.”
“Shocker,” Danny grumbles.
“I’m gonna get some rest. Go see Frank, okay?”
He looks unsure.
“I know you feel like you have to stay, but I’m okay. Shaken, but okay. Frank needs you and you need him. Go be with your one.”
“Love you, Isla.”
“Love you, too, Danny boy.”
He takes her hand and squeezes.
“Stay with her,” he whispers in my ear as he passes.
“What did you tell him?!” Isla calls out, a little panicked.
Danny grins over his shoulder and winks as he exits the room. Isla looks at me, wide eyed.
“Ignore whatever he said. He’s trouble.”
“Alright.”
She yawns again.
“Go to sleep, Isla. You’ve had a long week.”
I move to stand, but before I can get far, an arm wraps around my bicep in an almost crushing grip.
“Don’t go.”
I look at her. “Isla…”
“Please.”
“I don’t think please is gonna work this time, hun. I gotta go. For you.”
“Not for me! For you! ‘Cause you’re scared. You’re scared, Seven. You let me in and now you’re running like a coward!”
“I’m in the mafia, Isla!” I roar. God, I’m a piece of shit. She’s not even in her right mind. I force my voice to level out. “I’m in the mafia, Isla. Whatever connection we have… is false.”“Do you have lungs?”
I frown. “Of course.”
“A spleen?”
Odd organ to choose. “Yep. As far as I know.”
“A liver?”
“Yep.”
“Opposable thumbs?”
“What’s with these questions?”
“As far as I know, then, you’re human. Like me.”
“Isla!” I throw my head back. “Stop, please. You’re making this difficult.”
She huffs. “Good. You know what? Fine. Don’t stay. Go home. What do I care?”
“You care.”
She glowers but says nothing.
I sigh. Fuck. Shit!
“I have to get Nia,” I grumble under my breath.
She stays looking forward with her arms crossed, but a small smile starts to play on her lips.
“Then what?”
“I’ll come back.”
She turns and gives me the biggest smile in the world. I swear every demon in me coils, just seeing her smile like that.
“I’ll be back. You gonna be okay?”
She reaches under her mattress and lifts a can of pepper spray.
I chuckle. “You’re so Goddamn innocent, Isla.”
“You like it,” she beams.
Yes.
Too much.
Chapter Twenty-Three
She’s asleep.
All of that arguing and I’m staring at her curled-up form, breathing softly, with Nia’s hand in mine.
“She’s asleep,” I grumble. “Really?”
I look down at Nia. She’s smiling a little.
“Silly doctor,” I tease.
Nia giggles and points at Isla.
“Do not wake her up, Nia,” I demand. “She’s had a long day.”
Nia gives me a mischievous smile and wriggles her way out of my hand, tiptoeing toward Isla.
“Nia,” I warn in a stern voice I don’t really mean. She’s being too cute.
She giggles again and inches closer.
“Do not wake her, Nia.”
Nia shuffles right next to Isla’s bedside.
“Isla,” she croaks.
My heart swells. She’s waking her up with her voice. The amount of trust she’s placing in us right now is immeasurable. No man has been more honored.
Nia waits a few moments with a semi-pained expression before trying again.
“Isla.” Her voice is hoarse and scratchy still from lack of use.
“Hmm…” Isla sings.
Nia smiles and grins at me. She’s excited to see Isla’s reaction to her voice. And I don’t know Nia’s life story yet. I don’t know why she went mute. All I know is that her excitement is huge.
Seeing her like this, full of self-expression and finding her little voice in a big world, is the proudest I’ve been to be alive. I’ve always felt like a waste of space on this earth, but right now, for the first time, I’m so fucking glad I was born. For her. I’m grateful for every moment, both beautiful and tragic, that made me a man capable of relating to her.
“Isla…” Nia tries again. Her voice is fading out since it’s not used to this much use, but I know Nia won’t quit trying until Isla hears her.
“Isla!” I call to help Nia out.
Nia signs me a thank you.
“You’re welcome,” I whisper.
Isla lets out a high-pitched squeal and throws her arms out, immediately wincing and clutching her stomach with a silent scream. Nia jolts and looks at me, wide eyed.
“It’s okay,” I whisper. “She had a tummy injury before.”
Nia nods, a little wobbly. Her little hand reaches forward and moves Isla’s hair.
“Isla?” She sounds the strongest I’ve heard her yet.
Isla rolls over with a sigh and blinks slowly, wincing a little at the dim lighting.
“Nia? Is that you? Wait…” Her eyes pop open and she screams. “Nia!”
As quickly as she can without hurting herself, she sits up.
“Did you just…” Her eyes widen and tear up. “Did you… talk?”
“Yes,” Nia croaks with the biggest smile.
I have to turn to hide the water in my eyes. I haven’t cried since before the war camp. It’s overwhelming.
Isla screams. It’s shrill and girly, like something out of a rom-com.
“Jesus, Isla,” I mutter, throwing my hands over my ears. Not that she hears me. I turn just in time to see Isla scoop Nia up and pull her into her arms in a warm embrace.
“I’m so proud of you, princess! You’re incredible!”
Nia looks toward me from her place against Isla’s chest with tears in her eyes and latches her little arms onto Isla’s shoulders in a loving death grip.
Tears roll down my face, unashamed.
I’m screwed.
I’m so screwed.
A loving sweet doctor and a man like me can never work. Right?
* * *
Frances is grinning like an idiot, leaning against the wall leading to the cells downstairs.
“Is it sad I actually feel sorry for the fucker? I mean, what he did was fucked up, don’t get me wrong, but you’re crazy.”
I hate him. Have I mentioned he’s annoying?
I shove him aside with my shoulder and charge down the stairs, feeling my blood warm and tingle beneath my skin. In this moment, I feel every bit my size. I feel every bit as strong and lethal as I am.
After spending last night with Nia curled up in my lap in the chair beside Isla’s bed, you’d think the rage would
have died down a bit. She’s alive. Isla’s alive, Nia’s okay, no one was seriously injured.
But fucking Stephan.
He’s the nightmare that never ends.
Ice man. I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out sooner!
A growl builds in my chest as I enter his cell. Boss saved him for me. I owe him for that one.
Stephan’s limbs are tied down to a simple wooden chair resting in the middle of the room. His icy blue eyes assess me immediately as I enter the room, teeth gritted in pain from the superficial bullet wound Boss pinned him with to subdue him so I’d get Isla out.
“Ah, son, thought I should be expecting you. You always were protective of your pets.”
“Speak again,” I hiss with my sword pressed against his throat in a swift motion. I lean in two inches from his smug face. “I dare you.”
“A sword,” he says coolly, “I’m impressed.”
I press it into his neck, reveling in the red, hot liquid dripping down the middle of my sword.
“Are you, Stephan? Are you impressed?”
“I was impressed with your woman’s pussy, son. Beautiful woman— ARRRRRRR!” he roars as my dagger slams into his thigh with my sword still lined up against his carotid.
“Wanna spew more lies?” I roar as flashes of my past mix with my present.
“I want my mom,” Tommy cried as they held the back of his head in a death grip to plunge him once again into the icy water, “I want it to stop,” he sobbed.
“Let him go! Let him go, you sick sons of bitches!”
The man smirked darkly at me. “Sure.”
… and they killed him.
Three hours later. Slowly. Painfully.
I shake my head to rid myself of the memory I can’t erase.
“I should have killed you years ago.”
“You weren’t the killer you are now.”
“No! You made me this way,” I scream.
Then… calm. A woosh of it. My eyes became evil and dark.
“You’re gonna suffer in ways you can’t even imagine. Ways I only know because you let Delilah die and fucked me up.”
I pull the sword away, but leave him crying in pain as the dagger stays in his thigh.
“You’d better go to that safe place in your mind, fucker, ‘cause I’m just getting started.”
* * *
Frances takes in the mutilated body in front of him and starts laughing.
Laughing.
I’m silently horrified by what I see, by the monster in front of me, but Frances is literally insane, so he’s amused.
“I thought I was the sickest fuck here. You may have me beat.”
“Are you cleaning or am I?” I ask in a distinctly detached voice.
Frances freezes, suddenly becoming serious.
“Let one of the soldiers do it. You need a drink and a fuck. Call Isla.”
I growl at him and stare at what’s left of Stephan’s body.
“Isla is back to her life and I’m back to mine.”
I’m keeping her far away from my demons. That was the whole point of this.
“Oh boy,” Frances sighs, “you’re in for it, buddy. I think this is one of the first times I’ve felt sorry for a man.”
He smirks at me.
“I’ve seen you and Isla. You’re fated. Good luck avoiding that shit.”
With that ominous nugget, he walks out whistling.
I ignore him. I’m more than used to avoiding Frances fucking Capello.
Alone, I crouch down on the floor, in my stepfather’s blood, and let the little boy inside of me loose.
I don’t want to be this damaged, violent, or fucked up.
But I’m just too broken and the best part of me died in Istanbul with my brothers.
That’s why, “fated” or not, I will never lay eyes on the beautiful, hazel-eyed pediatrician again. She’s pure and I’m… this.
The monster who tore the skin from his stepfather's bones, piece by piece as he cried and begged me for a merciful death.
A death I never granted.
For Delilah.
For Isla.
But mostly because I couldn’t stop and the demons came to dance. I’m their puppet, after all.
* * *
Two Weeks Later
Isla
“Room five, Isla.”
“Got it.”
Danny slinks up by my side.
“I’m still pissed you’re here.”
I side-eye him. “Where else would I be?”
“Uh, at home. Resting. Medicating. Sleeping. Getting therapy.”
I snort. “No.”
“You’re throwing a temper tantrum.”
“No, I’m not. What could I possibly be pissy about?” I grumble as I collect my folders.
Danny smirks at me when I turn.
“The fact that your mafia lover hasn’t been to see you since you were cleared by their doctor.”
“Shut up, Danny. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I storm down the hall. Danny follows. I hear his footsteps pounding behind me.
“Go to him, Isla. Show up and demand he talk to you.”
My footsteps freeze in the hallway.
“I don’t want to force someone to like me, Danny,” I whisper.
“He likes you, bug,” he snorts. “He just knows he’s not good enough for you. That’s all.”
“How can you say that? He’s a great guy.”
“Maybe in his heart, but G, he’s in the mob, okay? You need to take off the rose-colored glasses. This isn’t one of your books. It’s real life. He’s a bad guy. Nice man, bad guy.”
I blink back tears. Why did I have to fall for him?
“I have a patient.”
I brush past Danny and go to patient number six today.
* * *
I throw the covers off of myself for the millionth time tonight and grab my Kindle. Who needs sleep? I don’t need sleep. Fuck sleep. Stupid, white, plain cotton covers. I’m getting a black down comforter tomorrow and painting my walls black. All black.
I pick up where I left off in this dark, sexual, non-mafia little ditty I’m reading.
Of course, the characters are fucking where I leave off. I’ve only been trying to deny the ache between my legs since Seven first held me, but hey, let’s read about characters passionately making love and a lucky little woman having orgasms ‘til it hurts.
I wanna have orgasms ‘til it hurts.
I wanna have an orgasm period.
Ugh.
I don’t wanna touch myself though. I’m too mad and it just reminds me of that shower. I shudder. That was the worst moment of my life. I know women have endured worse and I don’t want to be a baby, but…
A sob creeps up my throat.
I throw the Kindle in front of my face and read.
“Don’t stop. Shit, please don’t stop!”
My fingers slip through his hair and his lips press against my sex.
I squirm, trying to ignore the tingle between my legs like I always do.
The first dip of his tongue between my slick folds has me shooting off the bed.
“Cam!” I scream. “More. Please, more.”
My hand slides between my legs with tears in my eyes. I’ve never been a slave to my pleasure. Why can’t I stop it now when I don’t want it? Seven, that’s why. Ugh! Seven!
“You like that, baby?” he purrs.
“Yes! Yes!” I pant, breathing heavy.
“Do you want to come around my fingers or my cock?”
“Shit!” I scream out loud, letting my own fingers slip between my folds. “Damn it, Seven,” I breathe, working my fingers quickly around my clit.
It won’t work.
It never works. I suck at masturbating.
I grab my vibe from my nightstand and press it to my clit with a sigh of relief.
Yessssssss.
“Uh,” I whimper as my hips undulate against the vibrations. “Sev
en, please… more…”
My hips jerk off the mattress as pleasure starts to ripple through me.
“Oh my God, stop. Don’t.”
Something builds in my stomach that I’ve never felt before. Something that feels like it may hurt… or feel better than I know how to handle.
With a frustrated cry, I pull the vibrator from my sex and throw it to the side.
“Ahh!” I scream, throwing the pillow over my head. I can’t do this.
I jump from my bed and slip my cell phone in my hand, fueled by some sort of pissed off sense of need years in the making.
Oh, and it’s not Seven’s number I dial. Oh no.
That would be too… mature. I’m not being mature.
I’m pissed. And I’m hurt.
I dial his boss, since he programmed his number in my phone after they saved me.
“Isla, what’s wrong?” he answers immediately.
There’s a slight bit of sleep in his voice given the time, but a lot less than normal people would have. He’s alert and ready for anything.
“I’m safe,” I assure him quickly.
“Uhh, okay? How can I help you?”
“Your employee or whatever he is… is an asshole and an idiot.”
There’s a long pause. “Seven, I presume?”
“Yes!”
The boss sighs. “Let’s say that’s true. Why are you calling me about it?”
“I need your help with something.”
“Oh, how I don’t want to get involved in this.”
“But you will…?” I ask hopefully.
“Yeah,” he sighs. “I will.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Seven
“There are gonna be a few changes I want everyone to be aware of,” Boss’s voice booms over all his men. “First, he has already been informed, but Seven is going to be taking Enzio’s,” he growls that name, reminded of dark times, “place as Underboss. I expect you to treat him as such or face the consequences.”
