“Sorry, everyone, but I think it’s pretty well-known that I will dive for wine.”
The audience laughed again—all but Poppy, who stood with her arms crossed.
Chapter 10
I took a few questions and shared another glass of wine, then Poppy stepped up on stage to wrap up the event.
As I settled at a table to sign copies of my book, I looked over at Max and Michelle. Max’s cheeks were a little pink. I knew that look—one too many glasses of wine.
Michelle’s chair was very close to his. I couldn’t see it, but it was quite possible that under the table their knees touched.
Luckily Poppy walked up to distract me.
“I never expected that, Samantha, even after everything I learned about you during our visit in Amsterdam.”
I looked up at her. “What?”
“Stage diving?” She shook her head. “What if someone had gotten hurt? And look at your dress.”
“Poppy, it was an accident. My foot slipped.”
“Which never would have happened if you’d been standing near the podium like I’d instructed you.”
I signed a book for the last person in the line, then cleared my throat.
“Poppy, I like to be connected with my audience.”
“Oh? Well, you certainly were tonight, weren’t you?” She frowned.
I bit the tip of my tongue. I actually bit it. I didn’t want to let loose the words that were building in my mind.
Instead, I smiled.
“It was an accident, but I have to say that I was pretty impressed that my fans caught me. It was a really fun experience and one that never would have happened if I’d played it safe and stayed behind the podium.”
“Exactly my point.” She rolled her eyes. “There’s no need for antics like that.”
“Haven’t you ever made a mistake? Have you ever tripped or walked into something when you weren’t looking?”
“Not really. I’m always pretty cautious. I keep an eye on everything around me and plan for what might go wrong.”
“But you can’t plan for everything. Like, you had no idea the night would end in crowd surfing.”
“That’s for sure.” She sighed. “You prevent me from predicting what might go wrong.”
“I know that probably makes you a little uneasy—actually very uneasy, I’m guessing. I understand that feeling. I’m not here to make your life harder, Poppy.”
“You’re not?” She frowned. “Because my life feels harder right now.”
“Maybe what you’re feeling is a desire to have a little chaos in your life.”
“Why would I ever want chaos?”
“Because some of the most beautiful things are born out of an accident or a terrible situation. The unpredictable is often when miracles happen.”
“That’s a bit much, isn’t it?” She scrunched up her nose.
“I don’t think so.” I turned and looked over my shoulder at Max. “See that man over there?”
“Your husband, yes.” She smiled. “He seems like a nice guy.”
“He’s a very nice guy. And if I hadn’t shaken up my life a little, he would not be my husband. I took a chance—let a little chaos in—and as a result, I’m now married to the man of my dreams, a man I never even thought I had a chance with. Sometimes a mess is the perfect way to discover what you really want. And sometimes making a mistake is the only way we’ll end up on the path we’re really looking for.”
“I guess I’ve never thought of it that way. It just makes more sense to do what’s expected—to make the right choices—avoiding the probability of mistakes.”
“It does make sense, until you think about what you might be missing out on. So many people—including myself—just strive for perfection with a goal of being flawless. But, in my experience, it’s the flaws that create life. It’s the wrong turns and the embarrassing moments that teach us and help us grow into the people we really are.”
“But it’s so much simpler when things are all in the right order.”
“I hear you.” I picked up a glass of wine from the table and offered it to her. “But I have a feeling there’s a part of your life that you wish was a little messy.”
She took the glass and met my eyes. “Is it that obvious?”
“Only to me. Only because I’ve been there myself. There was a time when my world was as small as a laundromat and the customers in it. It felt safe that way. I was in control. But I took a step out of my comfort zone—several steps, in fact—and now look where I am.” I smiled. “Sure, you don’t have to go crowd surfing, but it might be time to admit that you’re looking for romance.”
“How did you know?” Her eyes widened.
“I see the way you look at Max.”
“Oh, please. Don’t think that I—”
“I don’t.” I picked up another glass of wine from the table. “I know it’s not him you’re longing for, it’s the relationship. I’ve felt that way too—for far too long—trust me. So I hope you don’t mind if I give you a little advice.”
“I’m listening.”
“The only way you’re going to find that love of a lifetime is if you open your heart and your mind.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.”
“If you let me, I can help.” I held her gaze. “If you give me just one day, I promise you, you’ll never be the same.”
Poppy glanced away from me and sighed. “I don’t doubt that. But what will I be like after?”
“I can’t tell you that. The question is, do you want to spend the next five years exactly the same way, or do you want to shake things up a bit and see what happens?”
I looked over at Max.
He raised his glass of wine to me. “Sammy, come meet Michelle.”
“I’ll be right there.” I smiled at him, then turned back to Poppy. “What do you say? Just one day. How much damage could I do?”
Poppy cringed. “I’d rather not think about it.”
“Just leave it in my hands. I promise you won’t regret it.”
She managed a smile and a slight nod.
Chapter 11
As Poppy walked away I wondered if she would follow through with the agreement. I hoped that she would.
“Sammy.” Max caught my hand with his and tugged me toward him. “This is Michelle. Michelle, meet Samantha.”
“Hi, Michelle.” I smiled at the woman before me. I tried not to notice how close she stood to Max. I didn’t want to think about what my hair smelled like or what my dress looked like from the wine spill. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
“You too, Samantha. I’ve heard so much about you. Max doesn’t ever stop talking about you.” She laughed.
I smiled again and pretended not to be surprised that Max had spoken that much to her about anything.
“He’s told me some things about you too. I hear you two had quite a summer together.”
“Oh, he told you about that?” She laughed. “We thought we were in love, didn’t we, Max?”
Max lowered his eyes as his cheeks flushed. “Just kids being kids.” He nodded.
“Well, I’d invite you for a drink, Samantha, but I think you’ve already had one.” Michelle laughed.
I liked her laugh. I wanted to like her. But there was something in the way she looked at Max that made me very uncomfortable.
“Maybe another night? When I haven’t already showered in wine.”
“Good idea. It’s late.” Max wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “I know Poppy planned a big day for us tomorrow.”
“Actually, I might want it to be just her and me, Max. Would you mind that?”
“Of course not. Whatever works for you.”
“Oh, well, if you’re not doing anything tomorrow, I could show you around the old neighborhood,” Michelle directed toward Max.
“I don’t know.” Max shook his head. “It might be a bit far.”
“You wouldn’t mind would you, Sammy?”
There it was. She called me Sammy. Only Max called me Sammy—and maybe a handful of very close friends—but mostly just Max. I took a deep breath and forced a smile to my lips.
“It’s fine with me. I’d rather Max have a fun day then be stuck at the Inn doing nothing. Just make sure you bring him back to me.”
“I can’t make any promises.” Michelle laughed again.
I didn’t like her laugh any more.
Max grinned. “Oh, wild horses couldn’t keep me away.” He kissed my cheek. “Mm, tasty.” He kissed my cheek again. “We should get some of that wine to take home.”
“Alright,” Michelle said, “I’ll leave you two to get some rest. Maximillion, I’ll pick you up in the morning.”
“Great.” He squeezed my shoulder and pulled me closer.
When Michelle walked away I took another deep breath. My main focus was just to keep control of my feelings. There were a whole lot of them brewing and tempting me to say the wrong thing. Maximillion? Michelle’s pet name for my husband?
“What a night, huh?” Max led me toward the door.
“It seems to me that I’ve had quite a bit of bad luck since arriving in London. I hope tomorrow will turn that around.”
“You have something up your sleeve, hm?”
“Don’t I always?” I grinned.
On the drive back to the Inn, Max looked over at me from the back seat of the car. “So what did you think of Michelle?”
I set my jaw and turned my attention to the window. I didn’t want to let those feelings begin to brew again.
“I think she’s beautiful and I think she seems to be very fond of you.”
“Oh? Who wouldn’t be?” Max elbowed me gently, grinning.
The car stopped in front of the Inn.
“Good point.” I smiled as we stepped out of the car.
He slid his hand into mine. “You know you’re the only one for me, right, Sammy?” He met my eyes.
I looked back into his. “Yes, I know.”
Early the next morning I awoke to pounding on our door. It woke me from a dream about bathing in wine. It was lovely and a little strange at the same time. Bleary-eyed, I patted Max on the back of the head.
“Max, someone’s at the door. Max.” I cleared my throat.
Max groaned into his pillow.
All of a sudden I wondered if I’d forgotten to set my alarm. Was it Poppy outside, already irritated at my tardiness? I bolted upright in bed and looked at the clock. It was barely seven in the morning. I wasn’t supposed to meet Poppy until eight-thirty. I still had fifteen minutes to sleep.
But the pounding continued on the door.
“Who could that be, Max?”
“Let me get it.” He sighed and rolled out of bed.
He pulled on a pair of pajama pants over his boxers along the way. When he reached the door he leaned his forehead against it.
“Who’s there?”
“It’s me, Michelle.”
I could hear her from where I lay still in bed.
“What?” I sat up in bed and yawned. “You guys are going out this early?”
“I didn’t realize.” Max frowned, then he called through the door. “Give me just a minute, Michelle.” He turned back to face me. “Are you okay with this, Sammy?”
“Max, she’s your friend.” I climbed out of bed and grabbed a robe. “Invite her in for some breakfast.”
“No, that’s alright. You should be able to get a little more rest. I’ll just meet her outside.”
I took a breath as I watched him rush to get dressed. I noticed that he took a few extra strokes with his comb through his hair. He stared in the mirror a little longer than I’d expect him to. Or was I just imagining it? Was I hypersensitive to his need to look good for Michelle?
“Hey.” I wrapped my arms around him from behind and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “You look as handsome as ever.”
“Thank you.” He tilted his head back to give me a quick kiss.
I ruffled my hand through his hair and pulled him close for a longer one.
When he pulled away he smiled, then he picked up his comb and fixed his hair.
I took a deep breath and willed myself not to think terrible things. Max had never given me a reason not to trust him. It wasn’t right for me to doubt him, I knew that. But watching that comb glide through his hair made me think that it was far too important to him to look his best for Michelle.
Chapter 12
I walked with Max to the door. When he opened it, I wished that I hadn’t. Michelle stood outside in the cutest outfit. Her hair tumbled across her face in a sexy way. I glanced over at Max.
“Sorry about the wait. I guess I’m not used to getting up with the cows any more.”
“I guess not.” She smiled. “I figured if we got an early start we’d have plenty of time for me to show you some of the things that have changed. I think you’ll be surprised. Of course, Samantha, if you get done early, you should join us.”
“No, that’s okay. You two have fun.” I swallowed hard and looked away. Did she notice? Did he?
Max offered me a quick peck on the cheek and then headed out with Michelle at his side.
I closed the door and tried not to collapse. There had been moments in the past—especially before we were together—that I’d been jealous of the women Max dated.
But this was different. My husband, Max, had just left with a gorgeous woman, who happened to be the first love of his life—and all I did was smile at them as they left.
Should I have put my foot down and stopped it from happening? Should Max have refused to be alone with her?
I sighed and closed my eyes. “I trust you, Max, I trust you, Max, I trust you, Max.”
My cell phone alarm began to ring. I rushed over to it and turned it off just in time to see a text come through from Poppy.
I’m ready when you are.
I smiled. That brightened my mood. I had wondered if she might try to get out of our bucket list. I sent her a text back to meet me at a coffee shop in thirty minutes.
After a quick shower I dressed and headed out the door. My main focus was to keep myself as busy as possible. The less time I had to think about Max and Michelle alone together, the better.
On my way to the coffee shop, I thought about all the times Max had proven his love for me. Yet what stuck in my thoughts was how dismissive he’d been about the love story behind the carving on the railing at the Inn. Would he feel that way if things had worked out with Michelle?
Maybe he was so cynical because he’d never felt that kind of passion and desperation again. Maybe he felt that way because he could easily move on with his life without me if he had to.
The thought made me feel sick to my stomach. I pushed it out of my mind as I opened the door to the coffee shop. It was easy to see that, although it was a bit late for breakfast, the place was popular. Many of the tables were occupied.
Poppy waved to me from one of the tables.
“Hi.” I smiled as I walked over to her. “Ready for our big adventure?”
“I said I’d give it a shot. I’m not promising more than that.”
“Let’s start it off right. I’ll be right back.”
I walked over to the coffee bar and ordered us two of the most expensive drinks topped with every sweet thing they had. When I carried the drinks back over to the table, Poppy looked up at me with a grim frown.
“I can’t drink that. It’s full of sugar.”
“It’s one morning, one treat.” I pushed the drink toward her. “If we’re going to start an adventure, it should always start off sweet.”
“If you say so.” Poppy sighed and took a sip of her coffee. “Mm. Okay, that is delicious.”
“See? It’s not just about the sugar. It’s about the flavor. It’s about the way it awakens all of your senses. Now you’re more open to the idea that it could be a good day, right?”
“Maybe a little.” She smiled.
“Great. Becaus
e it’s going to be an amazing day. I have it all planned out.”
“Interesting.” Poppy raised an eyebrow. “I thought the point of this was to be more spontaneous?”
“Spontaneity is fine when you have plenty of time, but we have a lot of ground to cover in a short time. So I’ve put together a bucket list of things for us to do today. But there’s one very important thing that’s missing.”
“What’s that?”
“Your big wish.”
“My big wish?” She laughed. “What is this, some kind of fairy tale?”
“It could be, if we do it right. But it’s important to have that one huge thing that you want deeply—but maybe don’t really believe will happen—in the front of your mind. You’ll be amazed at just how much closer you’ll get to it, just by staying focused on it.”
“I’m not sure that I have any big wishes, though. I mean, I pride myself on dreaming within my means. If it isn’t realistic, I don’t want it. Who wants to walk around with a longing for something that could never come true?”
“You think you have that kind of control over your desire, but if you’re honest with yourself, I bet there might be a few big wishes that you’ve been ignoring.”
“I pride myself on honesty too.”
“Okay, but it’s a lot easier to lie to yourself than it is to lie to anyone else. So let’s see if we can’t get to the bottom of this, hm?”
“How?”
“We can play a little game.”
“Okay.” She shrugged. “I’m already on a sugar high, why not play games too?”
I smiled. “It’s not as childish as you might think. Just close your eyes.”
“Here? In public? I’m not sure that I’m okay with that.”
“Just give it a shot. It’ll be better than you think.”
“Okay, I’ll try.” She closed her eyes.
Chapter 13
Once I saw Poppy’s face relax, I lowered my voice.
“Now just take a long slow breath. Not deep, not timed, just long and slow, as if you can taste the air that passes through your lungs.”
I watched as her chest began to rise, then lower. “And one more slow steady breath just like that. Feel it nourish your body.” After her next breath I lowered my voice even more. “Think of warmth—the kind that starts deep in your belly and connects to your heart. Think of how it swells up within you. It feels similar to being hugged, or finding a long-lost favorite item. Think of that warm feeling. Can you feel it?”
Sammy in England (Single Wide Female Travels #4) Page 4
