by J. L. Beck
“I will not let you treat me like this anymore. You will learn to have some respect. I’ve sacrificed so much to get us to this point… and you… you couldn’t care less.” Her mother raised her hand again, and I knew deep down in the pit of my stomach that I couldn’t allow her to lay another hand against my princess.
Noelle seemed to push back against the dresser trying to get away from her mother. Shrinking to make herself smaller and that didn’t sit well with me. My girl should never have to cower to anyone. Least of all her retched mother.
I chose then to make myself known. Clearing my throat, I pushed through the bedroom door, pretending as if I had no idea that Viviana was in here.
“Noelle, I was just wondering…” I pretended to be asking a question. Viviana turned around shooting daggers at me, a fire burning deep in her eyes. I smiled.
Score one for Royal. Zero for Viviana.
“Oh hey!” Noelle forced a fake smile. I took notice of the ugly red mark against her beautiful pale white cheek. Unshed tears were brimming in her eyes as she tried to blink them away.
“We’re done here for now. Remember what I said, young lady.” Viviana’s voice was dark as she said the words, turning away from Noelle and glaring at me at me once again. The woman had a hard on for hating me.
“Hi Viviana, how’s your day going?” I smirked at her, which only made the flames in her eyes flicker more.
“Oh shut up, Royal,” she spat at me. It was like I was blowing on the flames, taunting the fire, trying to see if I could get her to blow. I hoped she hated me, because I didn’t like her very much myself.
She walked out of Noelle’s room without another comment, or a glare at either of us. Shame formed on Noelle’s precious face, and I wanted to take that shame and crumble it up and throw it away because there was no reason she should feel ashamed for wanting to be a teenager. I couldn’t protect her from her mother’s slap, but I could hopefully help ease her pain.
“Don’t be ashamed.” I gulped down the anxiety that filled my belly. I wasn’t used to soothing people. I wasn’t usually the one reassuring or calming someone, as if one couldn’t see that from my already long track record. I was the one causing the pain, but this was Noelle. I would do anything and everything for her. All I ever wanted was for everything to be okay in her life.
“I….” She paused, a tear trailing down her cheek and right over that big red splotch her mother placed against her skin. I couldn’t stop myself as I walked across the room stopping directly in front of her.
I pulled her into my chest and wrapped my arms around her small frame. I rubbed my hand up and down the length of her back, making sure she knew I was here for her, and that I wasn’t going anywhere. I pulled away but only slightly so I could look into her sad yet beautiful eyes, then I gently leaned forward and kissed that one single tear away.
“Please don’t cry,” I pleaded with her, not knowing what else to do.
“I… I’m okay.” She tried to sound convincing, but the crack in her voice and the sadness in her eyes told me otherwise. This girl couldn’t lie to me, not when the truth was right there in front of me.
“You’re not okay, and guess what?” I cupped her cheek softly in my hand bringing her body closer into my chest. Her scent washed over me, and a small moan escaped my lips.
“What?” Her voice wobbled.
“It’s okay to not be okay. I would know, I’m the king of not being okay, remember? It’s fine to be hurt and unstable. Life is unstable; a never-ending revolving door that brings change to your life daily,” I explained, meaning every word that left my lips. Having her so close was giving me the strength to open up.
“If you’re not okay, that just means you’re doing something right. It means you’re alive. Don’t worry about your mom because in less than a year you will be out of this house, out from underneath her thumb, and you won’t have to put up with her shit anymore. None of it will matter.” What I said must have been working to calm her because her body slowly started to relax into mine.
I breathed her in and allowed her body to mend with mine. We were like two broken pieces of a puzzle, the perfect match to one another’s problems.
Although the problem with Noelle was she had the power to heal all the wrong in my life, and that scared me. It fucking terrified me. No one ever had that kind of power, simply because I never gave it to them, and because she did it made her more important than anyone else.
That power meant that she had the chance to destroy me, and everything in my life that ever mattered ended up destroying me.
I held her there in my arms for what felt like hours—an eternity even— nothing but our breaths and the sound of our heartbeats echoing in our ears. I just had to give myself that one small slice of peace— just for today, just for us. Something for us both to hold onto.
“I couldn’t let her hit you again,” I whispered into her ear as I softly glided my hand through her soft hair. “I couldn’t watch while she tore you down like that. You’re so much more than what she wants you to be. So much more than how she treats you or what anyone else wants.” I wasn’t one to give advice, but I had to tell her that. She had to know how special she was, how I saw her from the outside looking in.
She didn’t say anything in response, instead she burrowed herself deeper into my arms. It was like she was wanting to crawl inside of me and never be found. Not that I could really blame her for wanting to do it. I felt the same way most days.
We stayed like that for a long time, just standing there in each other’s embrace until my legs started to ache and my arms began to sag to my sides. I would have stayed like that all day and night if that’s what she needed.
Still something told me the feeling couldn’t last forever. That the peace we were both feeling at this point was just the calm before the storm.
Noelle was the first to pull away, and I felt it the instant she did. I watched from hooded eyes as she glanced up into my face, with a look that made me want to do more than just hold her against my chest. The silence between us was unsettling as she pulled completely away, the heat of her body against mine leaving me. It felt like an extension of who I was, was leaving, being ripped away.
All I could do was watch as Noelle walked away from me and out of her bedroom, leaving me standing there to drown in my own emotions.
The truth was, I just realized how much this girl meant to me, and just how much it was going to rip me to pieces when everything fell away and we were left standing on separate sides.
I wanted Noelle more than my next breath, and I had proven that yet again.
Chapter Fourteen
-Noelle
He saw my tears and the pain that my mother brought out in me, and instead of belittling me like I thought he would, he was compassionate to my emotions. I wanted nothing more than to stand in that room and let him hold me forever, because the power he had over my body was remarkable. With his touch alone I felt at home, as if he was the one thing I had been searching my whole life for. I never felt so secure when I was alone with someone, not like when I was with him. He scared me, but at the same time made feel so many different emotions. I wanted to understand him more, figure out what made him tick.
I had to stop myself. I couldn’t be falling for my stepbrother. It would never work out, and my mother would never allow it. It would send her to the hospital with a heart attack and as much as I kind of wanted that, I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of having something to bitch at me for the rest of life about.
Royal and I drove to school in complete silence the next day. The raindrops pelting against the car was the only sound that could be heard. I couldn’t stop myself from sneaking a glance at him out of the corner of my eye.
His taut muscles on display as he pushed up the long sleeves of his shirt revealing his bulging veins. Was it disgusting that I wanted to lean across the car and lick a trail over them?
My cheeks grew warm at the thought, and I was glad Royal
was more focused on his cell phone in his hands than on the dirty thoughts that were circulating throughout my mind.
“That bitch,” he muttered under his breath, gripping his phone so hard I was sure the iPhone screen was going to crack. I wanted to ask him what the problem was, but his anger seemed to mount as we pulled into the school parking lot.
“Is everything okay?” I finally got the nerve to ask just as I pulled into a parking spot. The tension between us was so thick that I was almost afraid to say anything. His pale blue eyes met mine, and I could feel the flutter of my heart in my chest.
Be still my beating heart.
His tongue darted out skimming over his bottom lip, which was still some-what busted open. With his index finger he grazed the cut against his lip, and it was almost erotic. The way he was looking at me, made it seem like he wanted to devour me, but I knew better than to give into that craving. To let him possess my body. I gripped the steering wheel hard, my knuckles turning white.
“It’s peachy, or at least it will be once I get done putting Sasha in her place.” I bit at my bottom lip in worry. What did she do now? Was it retaliation against Royal for fighting Dom like he did?
“Don’t give into her bullshit, Royal,” I spoke without thought. He raised an eyebrow up at me as he slipped his cell into the front pocket of his jeans.
“Sasha will never get to see the pieces of me that you do. She will never get the soft kisses, or the caress of the cheek; she isn’t you, and she never will be.” My throat went dry. He couldn’t truly mean any of those things. There was just no possible way.
“That’s not what I meant, Royal…” I tried to explain but Royal didn’t seem to care about anything else I had to say. He gripped the door handle firmly and opened it without warning as he allowed the rain to pelt against him.
“I know what you meant. I’m just telling you why she can’t get to me.” He smirked at me over his shoulder before getting completely out of the Jeep and slamming the car door. I was forced to sit there for a few minutes. Royal swept my feet right out from underneath me. Every time he spoke about us, I had to take a moment to regroup. It was impossibly hard for me to think any of this was okay.
I never expected him to become so attached to me, after all the hateful things we said to one another and the secrets we both seemed to be keeping. I didn’t think there was a chance for anything to grow between us.
Royal was so rough around the edges, like a discarded diamond under the surface of the earth. He was covered in rock and dirt, but underneath it all he was still a diamond, gleaming in the sunlight, even if he had edges that could cut you if you got too close.
It was all about whether or not he would. Sometimes you had to take a chance to be able to see the beauty of something. I watched him precariously until he entered the double door entrance of the school, making it impossible for me to see him any longer.
“Deep breathes, Noelle,” I mumbled to myself applying some lip gloss in my rearview mirror. I could see a small red mark where my mother’s palm landed against my cheek yesterday. Rage and anger mixed together like the perfect combination for an explosive bomb. I hated the way she was to me and that I had allowed it for so long. Taking yet another deep breath, I grabbed my belongings and headed into the school, large, cold, wet raindrops pelting me as I ran up to the entrance trying to miss all the puddles that started to form. The last thing I needed was soaking wet socks for a whole eight hours.
“You’re lucky, Sasha!” I had just walked in and up the stairs when I heard Royal’s deep, angry voice. It shattered the bubble I wrapped myself in. Don’t look, don’t watch, just keep walking. I repeated the mantra to myself as I turned down the east wing and headed straight toward my locker.
People looked at me with disgust and dirty smiles as I hustled down the hall. It felt like there was a huge joke being played on me, and I had no idea about it. I was less than five feet away from my locker when I saw the papers that were taped to it. In large red letters someone had wrote “whore” all over my locker, and a nice little note was attached to the words.
SKANK.
Stop fucking with what is mine, or else.
XOXO SASHA
I can’t exactly tell you what took over inside of me because I was one for violence, but I was ready to end this shit with Sasha. If she wanted Royal, she could have him. We could never work out, no matter how much we both wanted to. Sometimes things were too good to be true. I grabbed the note, crumpling the paper in my hands. I was going to make this bitch eat her own words.
I threw my backpack against the floor near my locker and stomped down the hall toward Royal and Sasha’s voice. As soon as our eyes met, I knew she knew. An evil smirk formed on her face.
“If you want him, he’s all fucking yours, bitch,” I growled at her, narrowing my eyes in a burning hot rage toward her. I couldn’t stand to live like this anymore. Wondering who was going to try and control me. Who was going to try and bring me down at every turn?
“Hmmmm…” She tilted her head at me and ran a hand across his chest. That should’ve been my hand, my nails raking against his skin. Royal stared at me as if he didn’t understand what was happening.
“Hmmmm? Guess what…bitch...” I took a step closer, and another until we were flush against one another. Royal didn’t speak, nor did he seem to be breathing. Everything seemed to slow down around me.
“Bitch? I’m the bitch…” Sasha laughed, her eyes shooting up to Royal as if he was going to support the bitch’s tirade. Concern was etched deeply into his features. I half expected him to push her away, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen.
“I’m not the one walking around stealing people’s boyfriends… Nor am I trying to sleep with my stepbrother.” I was angry far before she brought up the whole sleeping with Royal thing but now, now I was gone. I was like a volcano having not erupted in millions of years.
I reached out pulling her out of Royal’s protective arms and slammed her harshly against the brick wall behind her. An ear-piercing scream came from her mouth as she fought against my hold, her sharp nails sinking bitterly into my skin. I could feel the pricks of pain covering my arm and feel the blood bubbling to the surface as she dug in deeper, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t, not with the evil witch herself in front of me.
“Noelle.” Royal’s voice held a warning, and I knew he was ordering me to stop; I was sure of it. He knew I didn’t need this on my record any more than he did, but I was done with this cunt fucking with me. I was done with her making assumptions about me, and making my life a living hell because she wanted to be with Royal. Instead of listening to Royal, I did what I wanted to.
“Eat your own words, bitch!” My words were deafening as I brought one of my hands up where I was previously holding her against the wall, and brought it up to her throat instead. I slammed her against the brick wall trying to get her to stop moving. Her head bounced off the wall, and a slew of annoying words were falling from her awful lips. I was so over her— over her hurtful words— over her in general.
“Noelle!” Royal tried to grab me, but I shrugged him off. I didn’t need him to defend me anymore. I gripped the paper in my hands tighter, the horrible mean words that she wrote on it swirling around in my mind.
Whore. How could she even lump me into that group? I was nothing like her. Nothing like the other girls that walked the halls of this school.
Without giving much thought to what would happen, I took that piece of paper and shoved it straight into her mouth, the entire wad of paper fitting perfectly without even a smidge of force. It was as if she was used to opening her mouth that big. As if she was accustomed to deep throating her own words.
“You fucking bitch,” she mumbled around the paper. I could barely make out the words, but it still made me smile as I pulled away from her. The rage was still building inside of me, shoving her words down her throat apparently wasn’t enough to calm me.
Before I even really knew what I was doing, I
pulled my hand back, swinging it straight at her face; my palm landing against her cheek with a loud whack. Shock registered in Sasha’s eyes as she brought her hand up to her cheek, covering the already deep red blemish I had just put on her skin.
I could hear teachers coming down the hall, ordering us to separate. Sasha didn’t seem to care anymore than I did about getting into trouble because she took that split second where I celebrated the damage I had just caused her to attack me.
Sasha’s body slammed into mine as she tackled me to the floor, her nails digging into the side of my face. Pain seared my scalp as she pulled at a clump of my hair. I clenched one of my fists tightly, raising it just in time to slam it straight into her stuck-up fucking nose. A booming shriek erupted from her as her eyes started to water and a dribble of blood dripped down from her nose. Satisfaction filled my belly in waves. Take that, you twat!
“Cat fight!” a group of onlookers yelled, forming a small circle around us.
“I hate you. I hate you. You stupid fucking bitch!” she barked. I could feel the weight of her body against mine, forcing me harder into the relentless floor beneath me.
“Get the fuck off of her!” Royal’s voice cascaded over both of us, and she stopped fighting, her hold on me going slack. I could see the fear in her eyes as Royal plucked her off of me, shoving her back against a wall.
“You don’t touch her. I told you once before not to fuck with what is mine. I told you what would happen if you did. We aren’t dating, Sasha, whatever claim you think you have to me is all inside of your own damn head,” Royal yelled directly into Sasha’s face, causing her to slowly step back to avoid being in his path. “I’ve proven to all of you time and time again that I’m not fucking around. Leave her the fuck alone.” I could see and hear the placid anger in his voice. A warmth trickled down my cheek, so I wiped at it, and blood marred my fingers from one of the scratches that Sasha was able to land against my face.
