The Pastor's Christmas Courtship
Page 18
Grabbing a dampened dishcloth, she vigorously wiped down the countertop. I will not have a pity party tonight.
But how could she stop thinking of Garrett? Her heart had ached when he’d stepped to the lectern this evening, looking sharp in a green sweater and sports jacket—and tie. She’d had to smother a smile at the memory of a ponytailed teenager who’d cruised around town on a motorcycle that her grandma had forbidden her to ride.
What Grandma didn’t know, though, hadn’t hurt her...right?
Again an unbidden smile tugged as she put away the silverware and wiped down the dish drainer. At least if she landed that job Brooke had told her about, she could live right here in this much-loved cabin. And with Garrett no longer the local pastor, she could fit comfortably into her new church home, too.
But I’d thought for sure, Lord...
At the sound of soft tapping, she paused to listen. Had one of the kids decided to sneak back downstairs? Then the sound came again—more persistent—and this time she pinpointed it. The back door of the mudroom.
Drying off her hands, she slipped into the adjoining room and drew back the curtain to peep out.
Garrett?
Her heart gave a happy leap, but she quickly tamped down rising hope. He probably wanted to make things right between them. To tie up any loose ends of misunderstanding before he left town. Saying a silent prayer for wisdom, she opened the door.
“Hey, Jodi.”
He sounded so casual, his words no different from the many times she’d opened this door to him throughout their growing-up years.
“Hey, Garrett.”
“I know it’s late.” His words came softly, no doubt noting the darkened cabin when he’d approached. “But I was hoping you’d still be up.”
“I’m winding down.” Her own words were whispered. “Just straightening things in the kitchen so all will be ready for tomorrow.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get here earlier.” He glanced off into the snowy night, then back at her. “If this isn’t a good time, I can—”
“No, no, this is fine.” She stepped back to motion him inside. She may as well get this over with. Perhaps offer the apology that she’d never had the opportunity to make—to assure him she’d never intended to challenge his calling, to stand in the way of God’s leading. “Everyone’s tucked in for the night.”
“That must have been quite a feat settling down the troops.” He shut the door behind him. “Especially Henry. That kid has energy to burn.”
Just like his “Uncle” Garrett?
“I think we wore them out today, then let them stay up a bit later than usual. My sisters are so set on making lasting memories for them of the cabin. But no matter how much we try, it’s not quite the same without Grandma and Grandpa.”
“No, it wouldn’t be. But there are times, you know, to cherish the past, yet make way for the future.”
Was he alluding to their past? That they needed to treasure it for what it was—the good times of their childhood—and not mourn what could never be?
“I thought you might like to know,” he continued, “that right after tonight’s service, Trey Kenton texted that Kara had their little girl.”
“Ahh. A Christmas Eve baby.”
“And speaking of babies...” He pulled off his gloves and placed them on the countertop, then reached into his pocket to pull out a little gift bag. “I bought you something and wanted to make sure you got it tonight.”
He emptied the bag into the palm of his hand.
A tiny plastic Jesus.
“Garrett, thank you. I still haven’t found Grandma’s.” She took the infant from his hand, identical to the one she’d found and tucked away for morning. But she wouldn’t tell him that. His thoughtfulness touched her too deeply to spoil his gift.
“I looked all over for something more substantial.” He gazed down at the holy child almost self-consciously. “You know, sized to match your grandma’s, but...”
“No, this is perfect. The crib won’t be empty. Thank you.” But her heart ached as she cradled the child in her hand.
He glanced at the open door from which the Christmas tree lights illuminated the small mudroom. Then he gave it a push to slightly close it, apparently not intending for the whole house to hear what he had to say.
“I also came to apologize, Jodi.”
She shook her head. She hadn’t expected that. “No, Garrett, I owe you an apology.”
His brow crinkled. “How do you figure?”
“Because it was never my intention to hold you back from where God has told you He wants you to go. That wasn’t Drew’s intention, either. He didn’t want you driven by guilt, and I only saw what an amazing impact you’re having on this church and community. But neither of us spent years in prayer, listening to God about it as you have. We had no right to an opinion. No right to challenge you.”
“I...disagree.”
“No, you were right. We were wrong.”
“What I mean, Jodi, is as longtime friends you and Drew had every right under the sun to challenge me. To keep me from moving blindly forward. Not that God couldn’t have used me on a foreign mission field. I know He would have. He could take it and bless it even if I’d gone for all the wrong reasons.”
A tingle of disquiet rippled through her. “You’re talking past tense, Garrett.”
And thoroughly confusing her.
“Tonight God showed me that in my blind determination to go to the Middle East, I’d been running away from His good and perfect will. Not toward it.”
“I don’t understand.”
The corners of his mouth lifted as he looked intently into her eyes. “I’ve been offered a full-time ministry position at Christ’s Church, Jode. And I’ve accepted it.”
Her breath caught. “Are you certain, Garrett? You’re not just letting Drew’s and my all-too-human doubts influence you?”
He shook his head. “At first, I thought you both were flat-out wrong. That God was testing me to see if I’d turn aside at the first opposition. I was determined not to let that happen. I took offense at what I perceived as your and Drew’s interference. So I apologize. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
“Don’t apologize. We may have grown up as best friends, but too many years have passed to give me the right to insert myself into your decision-making after having only recently become reacquainted.”
“But in many ways, it’s been an amazing reacquaintance, hasn’t it?” He tilted his head in question.
“It has.” Or at least it had until their falling out.
“So to answer your question, yes, I’m certain about committing to the church. To Hunter Ridge. Everywhere I turned the past two days God’s confronted me with people not only in need, but people who need me. As hard as I tried at first to shut out the implications of that, tonight it was as if God opened my eyes to see what you and Drew had seen. That my life, as impossible as it seems, is making a difference right here in my old hometown.”
“He’s confirmed the direction you’re to take?”
“Rock solid.” He placed his hand over his heart. “He’s given me that elusive piece to the puzzle that I’d longed for. The piece I thought would fall into place once I escaped this town, once I got away from the reminder of Drew’s accident and off on a mission field. I thought that then, somehow, some way, I’d be absolved for the part I played in his injuries.”
“Drew said it wasn’t your fault.”
“Maybe not my fault in that it wasn’t a premeditated attempt to injure him. But I should have been more cautious.”
“Drew said you both got carried away, were goofing off.”
“And which of us, do you think, has the longest track record of that?”
“He accepts the responsibility. You didn�
�t make him jump into the water.”
“No, but—”
“Let it go, Garrett. I know from my own experience that the hardest thing in the world is to forgive ourselves even when God and others already have. Didn't I hear a very recent Sunday message on this very topic? And someone wise once told me that being unwilling to forgive myself was akin to taking Jesus’s sacrificial gift and tossing it in the trash.”
Garrett flinched. “Someone wise told you that, did he?”
“Yep.”
“You think I should take his advice?”
“I would.”
He paused to think a moment—pray?—and she could hear the cabin walls creak. A window rattle. The wind had picked up.
“So you have peace about staying, Garrett?” She had to be sure. Sure that she hadn’t aborted God’s plan for his life.
“An amazing peace. It hit me during the Christmas Eve service tonight as I looked out across the sea of faces. My family. Yours. Drew. Members and visitors. My heart swelled with a love so powerful, a peace and sense of purpose so overwhelming, I can’t even describe it to you. I know that feelings ebb and flow, but I’ll always remember this night. Will commemorate it in my heart. I’ve prayed for this peace, this confirmation of my calling for five years...and now tonight God sent it. Until He tells me differently, this is where I want to invest my life.”
A ripple of joy coursed through her. And yet...
“I’m happy for you, Garrett. You will make—are already making—a difference in this town.”
“It won’t be easy, though.”
“God doesn’t always call us to do easy, does He?”
“Seldom. But God also revealed to me tonight one thing that would make it a significantly less painful journey.” He gently took the baby Jesus from her and placed it next to his gloves. Then as he looked deeply into her eyes, he took her hand in his. “Marry me, Jodi. Marry the new pastor of Christ’s Church of Hunter Ridge.”
Her eyes widened as all the doubts she’d soothed herself with the past few days—reasons she’d never make a good minister’s wife and how God knew that all along—assailed her.
“I... I can’t play the piano.”
He laughed, his hand tightening on hers. “Or cook? Keep house? Or teach little kids in Sunday school?”
“None of those things. Not very well, anyway.”
“To be perfectly honest, Jodi, I’m a pretty good cook, if I do say so myself. Enjoy it actually—if you’d do the cleanup. Sofia’s got the piano playing covered. Marisela’s backup. And all the Sunday school slots are currently filled. So even if you’d want to, you’d have to wait awhile to get your foot in the door.”
“But—”
“Jodi, I love you. I think I’ve loved you ever since we were kids. Loved you even when you literally gave me a kick in the seat of the pants that sent me sprawling into the dust. I just... I can’t imagine life without you in it.”
Words she’d only dreamed of hearing.
“I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, Garrett. I never dreamed until earlier this week that you might feel the same about me.”
“Then it looks like, Jodi, you owe me an answer to my question.”
“You posed a question? It was worded more like an order.”
“I’m a desperate man, besotted with the woman I love—and scared to death she’ll walk away and never look back.” He tugged her closer. “So will you marry me? We could buy this cabin from your folks and settle in for a happily-ever-after. I even promise to be on my best behavior, too.”
She clucked her tongue. “I’m not so sure about that.”
“I will. I promise.”
“What I mean is, I like you just the way you are.” She looked disapprovingly at the uncharacteristic presence of his tie. “I don’t want to wake up some morning next to a stranger.”
“So is that a yes? Or do I need to get down on my knees and beg?” He dropped to one knee, again clasping her hand. “Will you marry me, Jodi?”
“I will.”
Slowly he rose to his feet, his eyes not leaving hers. It didn’t take coaxing on his part for Jodi to step into his open arms. But Garrett’s lips had barely touched hers when something behind her crashed to the floor with a startling clatter. She spun to see an old tin that Grandma kept on the mudroom shelf, its lid popped off to expose cotton batting stuffed inside.
She pulled away from Garrett and knelt to pull out a cotton-wrapped object. The moment she held it in her hands, her suspicions were confirmed. “You’re not going to believe this, Garrett.”
She carefully unfolded the cotton. Then, cradling its precious contents in the palm of her hand, she stood and turned to her husband-to-be. “Baby Jesus.”
Garrett reverently touched the tiny wooden figurine. The one they’d searched so long and hard for. His eyes then narrowed as he glanced suspiciously at the open shelf behind her. “How did that tin work its way to the edge of the shelf to fall off right now?”
She gazed in wonder at the baby in her hand. “It’s tempting to think Grandma’s given us a seal of approval, isn’t it?”
“I’d be more inclined to suspect,” Garrett said, shaking his head with a smile, “that she requested a diversion before things got too hot to handle in here.”
“You think?”
He gently took baby Jesus and laid Him and the cotton batting next to the plastic one. Then he reached for her hand and tugged her close to gaze into her eyes. Gave a sigh of resignation.
“I love you, Jodi. And as much as I’d like to see how fast we could steam up those windows, out of respect for your grandma, I’d better get going.”
“But you just got here.” She wasn't ready to let him go. Not yet. Not ever.
His eyes twinkled as he released her hand and reached for his gloves. “It’s late—and there’s plenty of time in our future for steamy.”
She laughed. He was right.
A lifetime.
Her heart dancing in anticipation, Jodi kissed him on the cheek. “But let it be known that I cast my vote for a short engagement.”
Epilogue
Jodi nestled into the warmth of her sleeping bag, staring into the darkness from her nest on one of the living room couches.
Wide-awake on Christmas morning.
She was worse than a kid—all eyes and ears long before the sun would get around to crawling up over the horizon.
Garrett said he’d see her today. But when?
It had been all she could do last night not to bang on closed doors and announce to all what had taken place between her and Garrett. But before he’d stepped into the snowy night, he’d said he wanted to be there when she shared the news. Thankfully, everyone had already gone to bed or she couldn’t have managed it. Her glowing face would have been a dead giveaway.
Smiling, she snuggled down deeper in her warm cocoon, relishing the pungent scent of the shadowed Christmas tree, the hint of wood smoke from the banked fire.
After Garrett had departed last night, she’d slipped baby Jesus into his manger. There she’d knelt for quite some time, the radiance from the Christmas tree lights reflecting the praise and wonder that overflowed from her heart. With reluctance, she’d finally unplugged the lights and crept into her makeshift bed. But she’d lain awake for who knows how long, savoring Garrett’s words and treasuring the moments he’d held her in his arms.
He wants to marry me.
His tomboy childhood pal. A buddy who’d punched him and kicked him, competed with him, and shared more adventures than she could count. A friend who’d loved him to pieces with her little-kid heart. A woman who’d later made so many mistakes and harbored doubts as to God’s love for much too long.
A sound from outside caught Jodi’s ears and she tensed, straining to
hear. Gravel on the driveway?
Instantly, she was on her feet, wrapping the sleeping bag around her sweatsuit-clad shoulders and thankful for the cozy socks the kids had given her last night. Heading to the front window, she peeped into the wintry night where a softly illuminating snow glow reflected off the lowered clouds.
Her heart leaped at the sight of Garrett’s SUV, headlights off, creeping as silently as possible up the drive.
He’d come, just as promised.
She spun away from the window, then abruptly halted. Reindeer-faced socks and a velour sweatsuit. No makeup. Hair mussed from a restless, almost sleepless night. What a scary sight to greet her future husband.
Husband. She liked the sound of that.
Heart racing, she tossed the sleeping bag on the sofa and quietly hurried to the bathroom to finger-comb her hair and swish around a capful of mouthwash. Pinched her cheeks to add a bit of color. She reached the mudroom door and opened it just as Garrett stepped up on the porch.
“You came.” Her words weren’t but a breathless whisper as the frosty air swirled in around her ankles.
He slipped silently inside and closed the door behind him, then in the dim light drew her close to touch his warm lips to hers.
She nearly melted on the spot. Last night hadn’t been a dream.
When he finally pulled back slightly, she could hear the smile in his voice. “Merry Christmas, Jodi Thorpe.”
“Merry Christmas, Garrett McCrae.”
“I didn’t sleep a wink. How about you?”
“Well, maybe one. Or two.”
He chuckled. “We’re quite a pair, aren’t we? I apologize for getting here so early, but I—”
She placed a silencing finger momentarily to his mouth. Then gave him a playful kiss. “I thought you’d never get here.”
His hands tightened on her waist, his tone suddenly serious. “You know, I got to thinking after I left here. I sort of sprang all this on you last night. Out of the blue. I didn’t even bring a ring. Or consider your career plans. If you need more time to think about it...”