by Lynn Rider
I find my phone and see one missed call and one text message from Emma.
‘Things just got real and I’m flipping out. Call me back!’
I smile as I recall her number.
“Holy shit, Amber. This may be really happening,” she greets loudly.
“Calm down—”
“He got a call from the office of the maker of all record deals.”
“I know.”
“Of course you do. Reeder thought you were behind this.”
“No, I had nothing to do with it, but I think Austin may have. He was really blown away. Reeder just left and he’s over the moon.” I smile.
“I know. He sounded like a girl when he called me.” She laughs.
“How are you with it?”
“I’m okay. I just blew off work for the next week, which is scary for me. I’m usually more responsible than that, but I want to be there for him.”
“Be ready to hold on tight. If they’re getting this call, things could move very quickly for them.”
“I will. Are you coming with us?” she asks brightly.
“No, this has nothing to do with me.”
“I don’t entirely believe that. I wouldn’t be surprised if you get a call begging for you to be on that plane.”
“I can’t. I took my days back from Katherine thinking that eventually I’ll need to make that trip. I’d rather store my favors for then.”
“So you’re going to be working while we’re in New York? That sucks.”
“It’s fine. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks, Amber. I’m really happy for Reeder. We’re flying out in the morning. Let me know if you change your mind.” I hear the hope return once again.
“Come see me later and say good-bye to your niece,” I say, ignoring her statement.
“I wouldn’t leave without saying good-bye to both of you.”
Austin…
I pace the length of my living room, sure to wear out this path on the dark hardwood flooring. I don’t know if she’s on the plane, and I won’t know until it lands. I stopped just short of begging James’s limo driver to call me once they’ve landed and are in his car. They’re going straight to the Stanford to check in and I’m tempted to drive there to greet them, but I can’t. I’ve assured Ashton I’ll stay out of it going forward.
My brother stuck his neck out to make this meeting happen. Reeder and his guys will have a week to wow the executives at David Enterprises, but personally, I think it’ll take two minutes. Reeder has talent; the minute Dave and I walked into that Seattle bar I heard it, and my heart filled with pride that Amber knew it too.
When I told Ashton about their band, he laughed at my pussy-like description of their talent, but ironically, he was having lunch with James later that day. James David is still not my biggest fan. He’s still skeptical of my recovery, but he’s just one more person on the list I’m going to prove wrong.
“Finally,” I mumble when I hear my phone ringing in my pocket. My heartbeat increases when I see Neil’s name flash across the screen. “Please tell me she’s in that car,” I answer.
“I’m afraid not, sir. Only a brunette,” he responds politely.
“Thank you,” I say before hanging up. My heart tightens in my chest. She’s not there. I’d hoped she’d changed her mind after I left and that this would have given her an opportunity to be here.
Where I want her.
Where I need her.
I take a deep breath and scroll through my contacts. I don’t have Reeder’s number, but I do have Emma’s, so I send a quick text.
‘Welcome to New York. Tell Reeder to kick ass!’
‘Thank you for everything. I’ll program your number in his phone and have him call you once we get out of this rowdy ass car’
I smile, knowing what’s going through their minds—how excited they are and the new dreams they’re carving out in this moment. My heart clenches again as I remember the day that happened for us. Amber and I were having dinner with Kyle and Kelly at their shithole apartment. Oh, the dreams we’d built around that table. Kyle made good on his. I fell short.
‘I’m sorry Am’s not with us. She’s working. Saving days for when she comes to New York’.
‘I hope it’s soon. I’m going crazy without them’.
‘I know. Give her time’
I stare at her words. How much time?
‘I’m only so patient before I get what is mine’
‘That’s the sprit!’
Her words put a smile on my face.
“Hey, boys!” I call out as I step from my car.
“Hi, Uncle Austin!”
Kyle’s twin boys run toward me, abandoning their front yard soccer game. Their little arms wrap around my thighs tightly as they try to bring me to the ground. This is a game we’ve played since they were old enough to walk and they still love it. I take a few steps, pretending to be burdened by their weight and groan, then carefully fall to the ground, feigning exhaustion to their efforts. Chase sits on top of me with his arms in the air as Chance runs erratically around the lawn, pumping his little arms in the air with his own sign of victory. I pull my hands free and tickle Chase as I climb to my feet. I let him break free and run toward his soccer ball before going inside.
“Hello!”
I turn and see Kelly carrying Chelsea in her arms. A shard of pain hits me at not having Sophia and then a sense of pride overcomes me.
I’m a dad.
“Hey. Where’s Kyle?”
“He’s in his office.” She kisses my cheek. How was your vacation?”
“It was good,” I answer, not wanting to have this conversation without Kyle.
“He’s writing. Said he’s got his creative juices flowing today. Interrupt him at your own risk,” she warns as she goes into the kitchen.
I open the door without knocking, sliding around the door quietly.
“Thank fuck you’re here,” he greets me.
“What’s up?”
“I got these lyrics, but I need to put it to music. Help me.” He slides the paper with his penciled writing on it. “This is where it starts, but I’m stuck,” he says before playing a verse.
“Keep playing it over and over,” I say as I read through the lyrics. When I think I’ve got something, I motion for the guitar from his lap. I strum a few chords, not finding the right sequence for several minutes, but I know when I’ve hit it because we lock eyes.
“That’s it!” Kyle says excitedly with a clap of his hands.
We work through the song for hours, making notes on our progress and some minor changes.
“I need to talk to you and Kelly,” I tell him as we’re putting up the guitars.
“Did she come back with you?”
I shake my head and see disappointment in his eyes. “It’s okay. Hopefully we’ll get there. I want both you and Kelly to be in the room when I say what I need to say.”
He nods as we walk from the room and toward the kitchen. “You’re not quitting the band are you?” he asks, not waiting.
“Fuck no! I’m just getting started.” I laugh.
When we walk in the kitchen, Kelly’s eyes dart back and forth us before finally landing on Kyle’s. She knows something is up. She tries to right her expression when her focus centers on me.
Kyle’s brows shoot up as he grins. “Spit the shit out, man. You’re killing me.”
My attention centers on Kelly as most of this story is for her benefit. “I’m a father,” I say with a wide smile, unable to contain it any longer.
Kelly pales as she slides into the stool at the counter. Kyle’s grin falls when confusion sets in. I hadn’t even shared this news with him yet. I look back to Kelly as I begin my story, starting with the day at the community center when Sophia was conceived. I watch Kelly’s face morph through the range of emotions my words cause. When I stop talking, she’s crying silently as Kyle holds her and rubs her back.
“I’m so sorry, Austin. I s
houldn’t have pushed her so hard to be with you. She’d be here with us where she belongs if I’d kept my mouth shut,” she says, her hoarse voice thick with emotion.
I shake my head, dismissing her words. “This is my fault, Kelly. I failed over and over. She ran because she didn’t think I could handle it, and I proved her right the night I showed up at her place drunk. She’d found out that day she was pregnant.” I shake my head, still not believing how stupid I was. “This is my and Amber’s issue and we’ll work through it. I love her and I’m going to prove to her that we belong together.”
“When is she coming home?”
“I don’t know. Hopefully soon.”
Amber…
I dial Austin’s number for the fifth time today only to be sent directly to voice mail. I don’t know what he can do for me being on the other side of the country, but I need to hear his voice. I need him to tell me what to do and that everything will be okay. I’m near panic mode as I rock Sophia’s little body in my arms. She’s been burning up with fever since yesterday and has been throwing up all afternoon.
Remembering Emma’s emergency room stories of hypochondriac-like parents, I’ve tried not to overreact. I’ve rotated ibuprofen and acetaminophen since this morning, but still can’t get her fever to break. I’ve tried baths, but nothing is helping her.
It’s breaking me.
Her little body is warming me to the point of sweating where our bodies connect, but I don’t dare put her down. She lets out a whimper in her sleep that resembles pain and my weary heart tightens with its sound. Deciding I can’t do this to her any longer, I pack her diaper bag one-handed and leave for the emergency room. My eyes are blurred with tears as I start toward the stairs.
“Amber?” I know his smooth voice despite my unclear vision and feel a sense of relief.
“She’s sick,” I sob as I hold Sophia’s little body in my arms. He makes his way toward us, placing his hand across her forehead. “I need Emma,” I sob again.
“No, you need an emergency room. I’ll drive,” he says, taking my purse and diaper bag from my free hand. He gently guides me down the stairs and to his car.
“Drew, we need to take mine. I have her car seat.”
“Sit in the back and hold her. I’ll be careful.” He opens the door to his rental. I hesitate for a minute, but decide that I don’t want to let her go so I fold into the backseat and Drew leans in to secure us with the belt. “She’s going to be okay,” he says softly as he fastens the buckle. I nod and look down at Sophia wrapped in a blanket in my arms. He closes the door and slides behind the wheel, wasting no time in getting the car moving.
“Thank you, Drew,” I say around the lump in my throat.
“Anytime, Amber. You know that.”
With each faint whimper Sophia makes during her sleep, Drew presses the accelerator, getting us there a little faster. We rush through the glass doors as they part and go directly to the reception desk. The woman there looks up unemotionally until she sees Sophia’s little body cradled in my arms. Her expression softens as she stands.
“She’s sick. She’s been running a fever since yesterday. I’ve been giving her ibuprofen, and I added acetaminophen this morning, but this afternoon she started throwing up.” I feel Drew’s strong arm circle my shoulders, offering support.
“Okay, let’s go back here. You’ll need to fill these out, but I’ll have you do that in the exam area rather than out there,” she says, nodding toward the busy waiting area and picking up a clipboard.
Drew takes the package from her extended hand before she turns on her heel. With a wave of a card against a black plate in the wall, the double doors part, allowing us access. I notice the softening expressions of the busy nurses and doctors as their eyes land on the small pink bundle in my arms.
“I’m going to leave you here. Fill that out and bring it back up to me.”
Drew nods as she turns on her heel and walks from the curtained area. “Sophia Grace Harris,” he says aloud as he starts to complete the paperwork.
My heart melts. He’s stepping in to help us again.
“Social?”
“It’s in my purse.” I nod to the chair. He picks it up to hand it to me and I shake my head. “It’s in the side pocket of my wallet.” He looks at me a second longer than necessary before digging through my purse to retrieve it.
Sophia begins to cough and sputter, before waking to another bought of nausea. I quickly make my way to the garbage can, managing to stop most of it from getting on me. Her cry doesn’t leave me any time to ponder the vomit that clings to my shirt. I wrap her in my arms tighter and try soothing her with my voice. I rock her slowly, aware of her upset stomach.
Drew lobs a few more questions my way about insurance and allergies and finishes the paperwork before going to deliver it back to the nurse at the front. Sophia is fully awake when he returns, but despite his best efforts, he can’t get Sophia to smile.
“I’m worried. She’s never been sick. Even when she started daycare,” I say sadly, looking down at my lethargic princess.
“Kids get sick, Am. She’s going to be okay. Do you want me to hold her so you can try to get cleaned up?”
“No, I’ll wait for the doctor.”
As if on cue, the curtain slides back and a young doctor steps inside the small area and approaches Sophia.
“Okay, Mom, I need you to put her down on the bed so I can examine her.”
I hesitate at first, but relinquish, laying her gently on the crinkling paper that covers the cold vinyl surface. Her face tightens as her cry begins. The doctor steps forward, doing a quick exam before motioning for me to pick her up. I waste no time in scooping up her little, angry body and talking soothingly into her ear. She calms down after a minute or two while the doctor looks at his tablet.
“I’m going to order blood work to see what’s going on. She’s dehydrated and her temperature is nearing a hundred and four. Has she been able to keep anything down?”
“Not since this morning. Small amounts of a sports drink go in, but it doesn’t take long to come back up. She hasn’t wanted to eat anything since yesterday. As soon as the fever started, she lost her appetite.” I explain worriedly.
His eyes soften. “Don’t worry. She’ll be better soon.”
I offer a subtle nod and cradle my angel a little tighter. As I look down at the peaceful expression she has while sleeping, I don’t know if I’m comforting her or she’s comforting me.
“Do you need anything?” Drew’s deep voice breaks through the distant chatter of the voices behind other curtains. My brown eyes connect to his beautiful blue ones and I’m instantly calmed.
“No… thank you so much, Drew. I don’t know how I would have gotten here without you.” Tears sting my eyes as I imagine being without him. He lifts from his chair and steps toward me.
“I’ll be there whenever you need me, Amber. I know you’re still figuring out things with her father.” His eyes flash with pain as his gaze drops to Sophia, but when they lift again they’re clear. “But no matter what, I’ll always be here for you two,” he says softly, tucking my hair behind my ear.
This feels incredibly intimate, but I can’t tear my eyes away from the intensity of his stare. He looks away as he steps back, lowering himself into the chair.
“Do you want me to go to your apartment and get you some clean clothes?” he asks after several long minutes of silence.
“Not yet. Will you stay until they get Sophia settled?”
“Of course.”
“Am, I brought you something to eat,” Drew says softly, waking me. Disorientated, I look around the dimly lit room until recognition of the hospital room comes into focus. I glance over to the hospital crib to see Sophia sleeping soundly. I look up at Drew standing over me, sweet concern shadowing his face.
“There wasn’t much open except a couple of those fast food all night drive through places,” he says apologetically.
My stomach growls as I
take in the smell. I look over to the clock briefly to see it’s after midnight. “Thank you, Drew.” My eyes scan back up to meet his. “Really, thank you,” I repeat, holding his eyes with mine.
He nods and breaks the connection, looking down at the bag. “It was either a burger or a chicken sandwich. I thought the chicken sandwich was the lesser of the two evils.” He removes the grease soaked wrapped sandwiches from the bag, then pulls an order of fries from the bag and grabs a fry from the cardboard, popping it in his mouth. My mouth hangs open in shock that he would put that in his body.
“Living on the edge.” He winks as he takes several more, shoving them in his mouth at one time.
“I can’t believe you’re eating that.” I watch as he puts fry after fry in his mouth.
“You think I don’t love this shit? These things are heavenly,” he says matter-of-fact eating the last of them.
My stomach growls again. “Where’s mine?” I ask, looking at the white bag.
He pulls another cardboard fry container, but it’s empty. He holds it upside down and shakes it for added effect. “Sorry, I was hungry on the way and ate yours within a mile of leaving that place,” he confesses sheepishly. I smile, shaking my head.
“Don’t judge.” He winks again, then rolls the bedside table over and opens our sandwich wrappers, exposing our dinner.
I’m not usually a fan of fast food, but at this late hour it looks like a filet mignon sitting in its wrapper. I eagerly take a bite, closing my eyes and realizing just how hungry I was while sitting back and savoring the taste. When I sit up and open my eyes, I see Drew watching me. I clear my face, startled by the weight of his stare.
“You can’t moan like that and not expect my mind to go straight to the gutter,” he says with a serious expression lacing his handsome features. I look at him blankly, not knowing how to respond, but he looks down at his sandwich, rescuing me. “Did Sophia wake up while I was gone?” he asks, changing the subject.
“No, she’s been asleep since they put the IV in. I hate that this happened to her. I guess I’m not winning the parent of the year award,” I say sadly, glancing over at my sleeping little angel.
“Am, this happens all the time. You can’t do anything to prevent a viral infection. It has to run its course.”
