by Skyler Grant
“A few injured, Miss,” Victor said.
“I’m pretty sure I killed at least a few,” Ashley said.
“We’re tough sons of bitches too,” Victor said.
“See to them,” Greed said, and looked back to me. “Everyone has their worth and their value. I needed to get a sense of yours and that of your companions.”
“Hi sis,” Hope said, giving her usual hug to her newfound sister. Greed also uncomfortably endured the affection.
“They said you were a hugger. It is a worthless habit and you should give it up at once,” Greed said.
Hope kept hugging. Hope didn’t care.
“Did you already hear the spiel from the others?” I asked.
“I got it. Famine is excited, Wrath is still trying to work it all out, and I’m just trying to figure how to profit the most,” Greed said.
“Isn’t becoming a Queen of Reality enough?” I asked.
Greed sniffed, “One twelfth of reality. It barely counts.”
“How much of reality are you a Queen of now?” I asked.
“Oh, I admit it seems a decent offer on the surface. Still, opportunity costs are not to be disregarded,” Greed said.
“Your evil stepmother has a kind of evil super-powered accountant named Joachim. I’m sure he can help you to run the numbers,” I said.
Greed brightened at the thought. “I can run my own numbers, but it would be nice to have a conversation with someone that really understands the value of things.”
“I like to loot bodies,” Ashley said.
I’d thought Ashley and Greed would have some sort of bonding moment over loot, but Greed seemed to have her focus on a bigger picture.
“Do you really? They’re so bloody,” Greed said with an expression of distaste.
“They are, if you do things right,” Ashley said cheerfully.
“I’m quite good with killing, but it isn’t really something I enjoy for its own sake,” Greed said, trying to be diplomatic now.
I said, “At any rate. I love you, you have a family, we want you to be a part of it. And I really need to formalize this as a speech somehow.”
Ashley gave me a long look, then told Greed, “Listen, your dad is going to be weird and is sort of a dick, but the kind that does care about you or he wouldn’t be here. You care too or you would have run away. How about I just take you shopping and you can help me pick out some badass new armor, and we send him a bill since he’s buying our love.”
Greed only had to think about that for a few seconds, then she was taking Ashley by the arm. “Your friends are okay, Dad. Nice to meet you, sis. We’re going to go have fun and send you a really giant bill for my affection.”
I didn’t think she was kidding. I also thought she was being kind of sincere. It made sense that Greed’s love could be bought. I wasn’t sure that was the sort of values I’d want to instill in my daughter, but when they came built-in you worked with what you had.
Chapter 21
Pestilence was next on our list. I’d not met this daughter yet either, but already I was feeling sympathy for her. It occurred to me that out of all of them, she must have one of the worst impacts. It was awful enough to feel ill and diseased, much less to know that you were passing that on to everyone else.
The party was down to myself, Hope, Yve, and Walt now. It just kept getting smaller as we went along. I hoped we wouldn’t find any sort of fight here, we were down in numbers.
When we materialized into the world we were in the middle of some sort of party. The sun was overhead, music was playing, and most people seemed to dancing and in various states of undress around a large pool.
“Well, this is unexpected,” I said.
A young woman in a sarong and passing by paused to press a hungered kiss to my lips and sprinkle me with flower petals. I noted the others getting similar treatment.
“Welcome to Ivesa,” said the young woman, flashing a smile before sauntering away.
“Friendly bunch,” Yve said.
“Least we know she won’t have a problem with hugging,” Hope said, putting the best spin on things.
“Can you find your sister?” I asked.
Hope led the way through the crowd. It was hard not to get into the spirit of things, the music was lively and I got kissed another four or five times by the time we finally located Pestilence.
My daughter was wearing less than I considered decent, stretched out on a bench and getting some sun.
“Did nobody say that we were coming?” I asked.
The sound of our voices caused her eyes to flicker open and she beamed a smile at us. “Sis! Daddy! Hi!”
That was way more enthusiastic than I was used to so far.
Pestilence bounded up and before I knew what was happening had pulled me and Hope into a group hug. I thought she might squeeze the life out of us.
“Hi. Great party,” Hope said, having obviously decided to go with it.
“Isn’t it though? Have you tried the drinks? They are amazing,” Pestilence said, as she released us from the hug and begin gesturing wildly. It wasn’t long until we had a tray of drinks that were absurdly sweet and kicked like a mule.
“Are you old enough to be drinking?” I asked.
“I’m like what, a few months old? Hell no,” Pestilence said, taking a large gulp from her drink. Fair enough.
“I didn’t know where we’d find you, but I didn’t expect all this,” I said.
Pestilence beamed another of those smiles as she looked around. “I love it. Some of the other sisters are just so sad in my head all the time. Isn’t this better?”
I liked it a lot better than streets filled with corpses.
“So they don’t get sick or anything?” I asked.
Pestilence shrugged. “They’ll all get something. I mean, I’m kind of disease incarnate, it comes with the territory.”
“You’re not worried?” I asked.
“Here on Ivesa they don’t just have good music and amazing drinks. The water here has incredible healing properties. Dip in the pool, healed, drink the booze, healed,” Pestilence said.
That was damned smart. Pestilence hadn’t just found some place where she wouldn’t hurt anybody, she’d found someplace where she was happy.
“I guess we’re going to have a hard time recruiting you to be a Queen of the Universe then,” I said.
“Daddy, please. The point isn’t that here is perfect, the point is that my abilities are only a prison if I let them be. I don’t really mind dropping bodies if it happens. Killing people can be fun, but do you know what is even more fun? If the locals aren’t terrified of me,” Pestilence said.
Hope frowned a little bit. She was against the dropping bodies in general. I was feeling proud. Pestilence was really well-adjusted given her Gift. I hoped the sort of happiness that she had found was something we could help the rest of the family find for themselves.
“I wish some of the others had that attitude,” I said.
Pestilence radiated another smile. “Life hasn’t exactly been a lot of fun for us so far.”
“What was it like? I saw the labs where you were born,” I said.
Pestilence’s sunny expression flickered for just a moment. “We were born in the lab. We didn’t know that was unusual, we didn’t know much of anything at first. Before we even had names we had numbers depending on the sequence we came out of our pods. Hubris was number one, I was two.”
“When did you get names?” I asked.
Pestilence shrugged again. “I don’t know. It was hard to keep track of time. They encoded a lot of knowledge right into our brains. They didn’t teach us to kill, for that they let us loose on the surface.”
I remembered the surface of that world, it was a lot like Famine’s planet. The creatures of nature on a nonstop murderous rampage.
“They gave you a weapon and just threw you out there?” I asked.
“No weapons. No clothes, no nothing. A couple of times a day, if we
wanted to eat we had to kill. It was hard at first, because we’d never even seen a fight, but it got easier.”
Pestilence’s story was so matter-of-fact and yet it was horrible to imagine doing that to a child. Hope looked absolutely horrified.
“Those monsters,” Hope said.
“I know you don’t know this yet, sister. Despite having lived longer than any of us we can feel that you don’t know everything, but we do. Killing is what we were born for, it’s in our blood and it is something none of us are able to escape,” Pestilence said.
Hope shook her head. “We’re not. We’re more than that.”
Pestilence gave another one of those brilliant smiles and hugged Hope again. “Exactly! We are more than that. That is what I get that some of the others haven’t figured out yet. I’m going to kill a lot of people, but that doesn’t define me. I define me.”
Empowering messages with a savage twist. This was my newest daughter.
“It sounds like you won’t have any problems with coming back to us at least,” I said.
Pestilence said, “No, I can’t do that. I mean, I’d love to meet real Mom and evil stepmother and everybody in person, but I’m more than a little toxic to be around. I’m guessing when you’ve got everyone together we’re going to war?”
Those plans hadn’t really been finalized so far, but I didn’t see a way around it. If we wanted to take out the Silver City it wasn’t something that we’d achieve with diplomacy. I didn’t see how we’d accomplish it with war either, but I had faith that where Elsora was concerned there was a plan for how to deal with Ashera.
“I’d call that a safe bet,” I said.
Pestilence released Hope. “Then I’ll start making my way along the Silver Road and visiting Grandma’s army where I can find them. Trust me, give it a couple of days and they’ll be in a lot worse shape.”
“You’re not really okay with that,” Hope said.
Pestilence pulled a face. “Kill them on the battlefield trying to kill you, or share a few drinks with them and they die at home later? Dead is dead and it will be easier this way.”
“Stay safe. You don’t want to underestimate any members of your family,” I said.
“Finish your drinks everyone, seriously. Then if you want to take my advice, stay and drink a few more,” Pestilence said, coming to give me another hug and brushing a kiss against my cheek.
Right. Healing waters and a daughter that was pretty much death incarnate.
Pestilence released me and gave everyone hugs before she vanished with a ripple in the air that left everyone feeling a bit queasy and flushed.
“Drink up everyone,” I said.
“Screw the drinks. I’m going skinny-dipping in the healing pool and then finding two or three friendly locals to kiss me back to health,” Yve said.
I wanted to protest that we didn’t really have the time, but it had been a busy few worlds. Drinks and the company of friendly locals was the sort of thing everybody could use.
“We’ll stay the night. Have fun everyone, tomorrow we’ll go in search of the others,” I said.
I knew it was a good idea when I didn’t get any objections. Even Walt, who generally seemed opposed to fun in all its forms, quickly vanished into the crowd.
Chapter 22
Healing drinks didn’t cause a hangover. It should have seemed self-evident, but that you don’t really think about until the day after. That really was the best party planet ever, I was glad they weren’t going to be wiped out in a terrible plague.
The next day we gathered back together, all looking healthier and more put together than we had in a long time. That was good. Next, we were going to find Horror. I’d only met Horror briefly, but the experience made me think the encounter wouldn’t be quite as delightful as this one.
We materialized on the streets of a small town. The buildings were wooden, washed out and grey. The same could be said of pretty much everything here, from the bleak sky to the ocean that stretched out beyond a rocky shore.
Hope folded her arms. “Cold here.”
It was, uncomfortably so. Wherever we’d wandered into it was no tropical beach party.
“Do you have any idea where she is?” I asked.
Hope took a deep breath and turned to point outside of town, “That way. I think.”
Yve led the way down the street. The place looked to be deserted, a few store fronts had been hastily boarded over and it seemed that the people here had left in a hurry.
Messages had been written in chalk on the pavement. “Do not believe the deep” “The deep speaks the truth” “The deep will consume you” “Sink”.
It was all-in-all creepy as hell. There always seemed to be movement just outside of my line of sight, but turning my head to look I’d see nothing.
“Well, this in unsettling. I suppose it makes sense that my daughter’s home is a living horror film,” I said.
Yve grunted, “I’ll give this for your genetics. You made some interesting kids.”
“Aren’t they sort of your kids too? Your brothers and sisters made them,” I said.
Yve looked strangely pleased at the thought. “More nieces and nephews I’d say, but a little bit.”
“Not me,” Hope said, as she looked around the surroundings. “I don’t like this place. It reminds me of what would happen if you ever got touched by Professor Nightmare.”
“Tell us about him,” Yve said. I gave her a surprised look. She shrugged and said, “It might distract us a little.”
“Professor Nightmare was one of the members of the Dreamriders. A replacement for the original Nightmare. He was a scientist and his research into psychotic compounds wound up binding with his blood and turning his sweat into a powerful chemical brew,” Hope said.
“I’ve forgotten almost every bit of science I ever learned and even I know that is preposterous,” Walt said.
“When he touched you, it was as if all of your worst fears were suddenly manifesting around you. I’d see Mom dead, or the city burning, or myself turning bad,” Hope said.
“But no cities with spooky writing,” Yve said.
Hope shook her head. “But what he did was personal to you. I figure this has got to be an entire world right?”
Our wanderings had brought us to a populated stretch of the city. It was even less comforting with people around. In the middle of the street a little girl in a blood-stained dress held a large knife and was cutting dolls into pieces, limbs and heads sorted into neat little piles. A young man was laughing hysterically and hitting at a sack with a baseball bat, it writhed soundlessly in response.
“What is happening here?” I asked.
“Bodies,” Walt said. He had found a few corpses slumped against a wall, an unhealthy gray pallor to the skin and blotches of what looked to be some sort of black moss on their flesh.
A woman with unkempt hair stepped out of a nearby home. She held a severed head in one hand. She darted close and kissed me, then rushed giggling down the street. My lips were damp afterward and I reached up to find them slick with blood.
What was it with severed heads making women want to kiss me?
“Are we getting close?” I asked.
Hope tilted her head as if trying to listen and grimaced. “I don’t know. It’s strange, but it’s like I’m getting echoes making it hard to focus on anything.”
We passed a bonfire burning merrily away, amongst the timbers blackened bones. The smoke was oily and foul-smelling, burning my lungs and making my vision swim.
Yve paused and inhaled deeply, her eyes closing for several long moments as she spun around. “That is kind of incredible, and terrible. The smoke is filled with some seriously mind-altering chemicals. I’d forgotten how good this felt.”
Great. Yve was high.
“You’ve encountered whatever this is before?” Hope asked.
“Oh, not this. This is new. But I used to be quite deliciously insane until my bitch of an alternate self reprogrammed
me and dumped me into this meat suit,” Yve said.
“That isn’t her still being insane. All that actually happened,” I said to Hope. A little clarification on that point was a good idea.
Yve shut me up with a kiss. It was one hell of a kiss, passionate and hungered, and it was like kissing a memory. We’d hooked up a few times since she became mortal, but it never quite worked. This was an echo of what had been—a painful one, as those days were gone.
Yve pulled away for a few moments and grinned. “I was going to kiss you goodbye properly while I had the chance. I never got to. So, we came looking for Horror, but she obviously isn’t alone. Who else is here, my fellow meat suits?”
When she put it like that it became obvious. Crazy—or in this case high on mind-altering bonfire smoke— Yve was a lot more fun and a lot more brilliant. I’d almost forgotten what it was like to have her around and always two steps ahead.
“Madness,” I said. “She is here too.”
“Obviously,” Yve said, pacing up and down the street. “Half the town has gone mad, and the other half has gone mad and is busy killing each other in horrifying ways.”
Family reunions were going to be interesting events. I could tell already.
Yve set off and we hurried to follow.
“Do you have any idea where you’re going?” I asked.
“Hope is confused because she is getting two signals, but we know the direction we were originally headed. The interference is happening because we’re close,” Yve said.
The building she led us to said “Town Hall” on a sign out front, an antiquated stone building. The entrance was adorned with wild sketches done in blood of horrific violence, a mural of cruelties and depravities of the worst sorts.
Candles were scattered here and there, just enough to cause the shadows to dance and make the unsettling even more so.
Then we found my daughters. Two thrones had been crudely constructed out of human limbs, most were recently burned bones, but here and there were chunks of flesh or tattered clothing. I couldn’t imagine how they kept them together.
Horror had gone all-in for the occasion with an outfit of gold and bones that made her look like some ancient and terrifying goddess. Madness was dressed in a pair of shorts and a brightly colored pink shirt showing an image of a cat shooting laser beams from its eyes. I was actually guessing which daughter was which, but it seemed a safe bet.
