by Molly McLain
“So, what’s on your mind?” I stir a single creamer into my mug, trying for casual though my curiosity is getting the best of me.
Bria blows out a breath as she doctors up her own cup. “What’s not on my mind is more like it.”
Yeah, I know a little something about that. “You said you had an idea.”
She nods and casts a quick glance at the crowd around us, before she leans in. “Before we get to that, I need to apologize.”
“For?” I frown.
“Sucking you into this mess.”
Well, now.
“Look, Colton, I’m not going to lie—not that long ago, I’d really hoped to make you see me as more than the occasional hook-up. I like you. You’re a nice guy—not a dick like half the other guys on the circuit.” She ventures a glance up at me, then tosses her long, blonde hair over her shoulder. “But it became very clear to me in Vegas that was never going to happen.”
“I told you long before Vegas.”
“I know.” She wets her lips. “I didn’t accept it, because even you can’t deny that we have great physical chemistry.”
No comment.
“But then Vegas happened and a couple of weeks later you poured your heart out like a lovesick puppy in Myrtle Beach. You belong with her and yet you’re stuck here with me.”
Is she for real right now? Because this isn’t the heartless Bria I’ve come to know over the past few years.
“I need the money from this contract, Colton. I’m…in a bad spot.” She blinks at me and the tears in her eyes seem damn believable.
Sucking in a deep breath, I try to figure out if I’m being conned or if she really is in a bind. A bind I shouldn’t give the slightest shit about. “Go on.”
“I’m…God, this sucks,” she breaks off, looking anywhere but at me, while the waitress returns with our order. A blondie with ice cream for me and chocolate lava cake for her.
“Damn right this sucks.” I sit forward and speak low, ignoring my dessert. “But you asked me here to talk about what’s going on, so let’s do that.”
She hesitates for a moment before finally meeting my eye as a single tear slides down her cheek. “I’m pregnant,” she whispers.
And then the flash of a camera goes off in my face.
Chapter Two
Taylor
Miss you.
I touch my phone and trace the shadowed line of Colton’s jaw. His eyes are dark and shadowed. Tired. Regretful. An emotion that’s easy to recognize since it’s the look I’ve seen over and over again in the mirror for weeks on myself.
I miss him, too, and the terrifying thing is…if I let myself, I can feel his arms around me. I can feel his breath on my neck and I can hear his soft, reassuring voice in my ear, telling me that we’re going to be okay.
But I don’t know if that’s true.
It takes everything I have in me not to text him back or even call. To ease the ache in my chest, if only for a little while. We’re having a baby together. Two people who have been friends for as long as I can remember. I know he wants kids eventually, but it’s been a long time since we talked about the subject seriously and never with any sense of immediacy. Certainly not in the context of having a child with each other.
“Hangin’ in there?” Adam’s hand settles on my shoulder and his dark eyes frown down at me. Across the table, two of his friends and their girlfriends chat animatedly about the upcoming football season over a pitcher of mango margaritas. I love football, but tonight my mind is elsewhere. I keep thinking about the gift and note at home, and about the man who looks almost as miserable as I feel tonight.
“Oh, I’m fine.” I smile up at my roommate, feeling like a silly little girl for thinking that coming out tonight would do me good. I may be twenty-three, but living it up doesn’t do for me what it used to. “Just tired.”
“You’ve been wiped out since you got to Madison.” Glancing at my lemon water, he lifts an eyebrow. “Maybe you should see a doctor.”
I snort, loud and nervous. “Adam…” I really need to tell him what’s going, but not with his friends less than five feet away. “It’s just the move. The new schedule. I’ll adjust.”
He flashes a grin, all perfect, white teeth through that dark scruff. “Dance with me.”
“Huh?” There’s a small dance floor nestled in the middle of room, amidst a few tables just like the one we’re sitting at. No one’s dancing and the music humming through the sound system is upbeat and fast.
“It’ll wake you up.” He reaches for my hand and squeezes. “Come on. Just a couple songs.”
This big, furry guy wants to dance to Justin Bieber? Seriously?
I laugh softly, but the idea isn’t a bad one. Dancing might take my mind off of Colton for at least a little while.
“You’re a Belieber, huh?” I tease and set my purse on the table.
“Not a chance,” he laughs as he leads me to the clearing. “But I like the smile on your face a lot better than the frown. Call it a compromise.”
“So what are you saying? You’re taking one for the team?” I let him twirl me around and a laugh bubbles up in my chest.
“Well, we are roommates. That’s pretty close to a team.”
“Hmm, I suppose.” Dang, he’s got some awfully smooth moves for a jock. “So where’d you learn to shake it like this if you’re not a dancer?”
“The stage over on 11th Street.” He winks and my eyes pop open.
“The strip club?”
“Come on now.” Laughing, he snags my hand and pulls me into him before he pushes me back out again. A comfortable ebb and flow that feels oddly good. “Do I look like a guy who’d take my clothes off for a bunch of horny women?”
“Actually, you do.” I wink up at him as the song ends and a slow one begins. He pauses for a second, his hand still wrapped around mine. For a moment, our eyes lock and I see the second he decides to take the playful moment a step further.
“You think so?” His breath fans across my face as he slides his free arm around my lower back, holding me close. “Does that mean there’s a chance you’ll tell me about your mystery guy?”
Yes, and now would be the perfect time, since I’m pretty sure he’s flirting with me.
But the heat from his chest is too distracting. He’s just as tall as Colton and I’m positive that if I were to lean in, I could hear his heart beat in my ear. Just like I love doing with Col.
God, I want to feel him next to me. I want to close my eyes and do nothing but breathe him in. Lose myself in the moment, knowing that he’ll catch me if my knees go weak, just like he’s always done.
“You okay?” Adam asks, and his low, concerned voice doesn’t match the one I want to hear in my head.
Shit. I can’t use one man to make me forget another, no matter how innocent the attempt might be.
I pull away, my pulse picking up as I meet his eye. Tell him, my conscience protests. Tell him now. “I’m not the girl you think I am,” I blurt out.
A soft smile breaks through his pinched expression and his fingers ruffle lightly in my hair once again. “No?”
“No,” I shake my head. “I’m actually a complete mess and I…” Just a couple words, Taylor. Say them.
Instead, I take another step away, looking everywhere but at the kind man in front of me. Then I turn and run.
- - -
Colton
“You set me up!” I holler at Bria in the parking garage next to Flint’s building. I flew out of the restaurant like my ass was on fire and, damn, if she didn’t sprint out after me.
“The hell I did!” Bria yells back, though her voice is broken and thick with emotion. “I had no idea we were being watched!”
Uh huh. Hard to believe that timing wasn’t precisely planned. In hindsight, it makes perfect sense, her wanting to talk to me in “private”. Her picking a place that was anything but.
“Do you really think I want everyone knowing I’m pregnant?” she cries. “Jesus,
Colton, I haven’t even told my parents yet!”
Pissed as I am, that statement gives me pause. After the camera went off, I’d jumped to the conclusion that her story was bullshit. A tacky spin on an already messed up situation just to please the fans.
But something about the wild, panicked look in her eyes doesn’t seem put on.
“It’s not my kid,” I blurt out. “No way.” I can barely swallow the guilt of having slept with this woman, let alone the prospect of knocking her up. There has to be another explanation. Mexico was five friggin’ months ago.
“I never said it was yours,” she spats. “I’m only two months along.”
Thank Christ. “Then whose?”
“Mine,” she says boldly, her trembling chin held high.
“Jesus Christ, Bria. Don’t play goddamn games with me.” Caught at the perfect moment, there’s about a million percent chance this kid is going to be pinned on me. I deserve to know whose ass I’ll be kicking as payback.
“I’m raising this baby on my own, so it doesn’t matter who the father is, okay?” She pushes at my chest, then paces away from me into the busy L.A. night. I reach out to stop her, but her words stop me instead. “I’m quitting the circuit as soon as I have enough money saved. My baby won’t be a part of this screwed up world. Of that, I’m sure.”
“We have a contract with ProFit. You can’t just up and quit.” I would’ve been long gone a month ago, if that were the case.
“I know that!” She spins back to me. “You think I haven’t stewed about this since I found out? I need that money, Colton.”
Suddenly it hits me. “Are you trying to blackmail me?”
She sways, actually friggin’ sways a little on her heels, like I slapped her across the face. “Wow,” she whispers, her lips quivering. “You really do hate me.”
I hate that I’m here with her and not back home with Taylor. I even hate myself for giving Bria the benefit of the doubt, only to be drop kicked in the goddamn face.
“I don’t hate you.” The words taste bitter in my mouth. I want to put this all on her, but that’s the asshole way out and I don’t want to be that guy anymore. Taylor would tell me to man the hell up and do what’s right, so that’s what I do.
For her, not Bria.
“I hate the situation,” I clarify. “That guy…” I wave my hand toward the street. Somewhere a puke paparazzi is probably uploading my shocked face under some bogus baby daddy headline.
“I’m sorry, Colton. Honestly. And, for what it’s worth, I’m just as sick over this as you are. I didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Except me.”
“I wanted you to understand why I pushed so hard for the ProFit deal. Obviously I wasn’t pregnant when we started. That was all me, wanting the publicity. But these past few weeks…” She swallows hard and glances away. “I really need this pay out.”
“You’re serious about quitting High Octane?”
“I’m quitting everything.” She hugs her arms around herself, the wheels obviously turning in her head. “I need to protect my baby.”
“From motocross?” It’s not a family-oriented world, but it’s not all bad either.
She bites her lip and speaks quietly. “I have my reasons.”
And, oddly enough, they’re probably similar to the ones I have for my own life. For my future with Taylor, if there’s still a chance for us.
“This crap tonight,” she begins. “It’s not part of my plan.”
Yeah, no kidding. “Not sure we have a choice in the matter anymore.”
She glances out into the night, her voice distant. “What are we going to do about it?”
That’s the golden question, isn’t it?
- - -
Taylor
“Adam, please…” He follows me outside of the bar, trying to offer comfort that I don’t want. At least not from him. “I’m the only one who can work this crap out.”
“Probably, but it doesn’t hurt to talk about it. Tell me what’s going on.” His hands curl around my shoulders from behind, as I suck in a deep breath of humid, July air. My head spins and the late night traffic seems louder and busier than ever.
It’s finally dawned on me that I’m not actually afraid to tell Adam—I’m battling the secret I keep from Colton and the fact that he should be the one I confide in first, not some guy I barely know.
“I’m pregnant.” The words feel wrong, but they come out anyway. It’s a blatant betrayal to everything my friendship with Colton has ever stood for, but I can’t stop the truth from spilling out. “It happened two months ago. One crazy, messed up night that changed us forever. He’s my best friend.”
“Ah, shit.” Adam drops his forehead to my hair and his hands gentle on my arms.
“I’ve been in love with him for years and I knew that someday he’d break my heart. I just didn’t think it would be like this.” The sob erupts from my lungs in a gust.
“The motocross guy, right? The one who sent the book?”
I nod, swiping at my tears.
“He knows?”
“No,” I whisper. “I’m afraid to tell him.”
“Why?”
“Because I want him to choose me because of me, not because it’s the right thing to do.” I blow out a long breath. “Is that too much to hope for?”
“Not at all.” Adam’s arms slide around me as my entire body trembles. I don’t want to live a life without Col, but I’ve come too far to compromise now.
“I won’t be able to keep my lease agreement,” I sniffle quietly. “Not with the baby.”
“Why not?”
I turn back to him again, brow pinched. “I’m due in February.”
“You think I’d kick you out?” He laughs softly and tucks his hands into his pockets. “No, I wasn’t expecting a kid when you moved in, but shit happens, right?”
He can’t be serious. “I can find another place.”
“Look, Taylor, we’ll work it out, okay? The last thing I’d do is ask you to leave.”
A new lump forms in my throat and all I can do is tip my head to the side, my grateful eyes locked on his. “But you could,” I mutter, my voice strangled.
“Why would I?” He smiles. “I’m not the kind of guy to kick someone while they’re down, and my sister was in your boat not that long ago too, so…” His shrug is empathetic. Humble, even.
“But we barely know each other.”
“I know why you’re here in Madison. How badly you want to start over. That’s enough, isn’t it?”
I pinch my eyes shut for a few seconds before opening them again. I’m not dreaming, am I? Because that would suck.
Adam grins down at me. “I’m still here.”
That he is. “I haven’t told anyone else. Not counting Colton’s sister, Casey, anyway.”
“She knows it’s his?”
“God, no.” I bite my lip and frown. “No one’s going to expect this.”
“So, it really was a one-time thing?”
The sex part, yes. The rest… “It’s been brewing for a while.”
The bar’s front door opens and a couple guys stumble out, playfully roughhousing their way down the sidewalk. I sigh in envy. I want my bed more than ever right now.
“Let me walk you home.”
I really did luck out with this guy, didn’t I? “You don’t mind?”
“Not at all. I’ll grab your purse and tell everyone you said goodnight.”
Wow. “Thank you.”
Adam smiles as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “No worries, Taylor Swift.”
- - -
Colton
“You’re kidding me.” Tito’s face blanches when I tell him about my night. I wasn’t going to say anything, but I had a voicemail as soon as I got home, wanting to know if the rumor was true. Fuck me. Two hours and the story is already out.
“Nope. She’s knocked up. Says she’s quitting the circuit, too.” I crack a couple of eggs into the frying pan an
d shrug. It’s late, but I’m too jacked up to sleep. And I never got to eat my damn dessert, either.
“ So…” My roommate’s words are measured and one glance at him confirms the thought in his head before he can even ask. “It’s your kid?”
“Hell, no! She’s only two months along.” I expect him to be as relieved as I am, but there’s an odd expression on his face. “What? You think she’s full of shit? Unless she’s actually five months and hiding it well, the kid’s definitely not mine.”
My buddy covers his face with his hands, fingers scrubbing against his furrowed brow. His curly hair stands on end, adding to the frustrated look. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
I laugh at his reaction. “Dude, that’s the only good thing about this mess.” Pissed as I am that the press already thinks otherwise, I have solace in knowing that Bria’s little problem…isn’t really my problem. Whatever mess she’s gotten herself into is only mine on the surface, and not for long, if I have anything to say about it.
Tito drops his hands and his flustered gaze locks with mine. That’s when I get it.
“Jesus Christ.” Now, I’m the one staring. “When?”
My roommate pushes to his feet and stalks to the fridge. “Vegas,” he answers as he yanks out a beer. “She was upset about all the crap that went down.”
Huh? “About what? She knew how I felt about Taylor.”
Tito shakes his head. “Not you and Taylor, man—Trey and Taylor.”
What the hell? Why?
“Look, it’s not my story to tell, but the situation with your girl and our punk ass teammate apparently hit a little too close to home.”
Okay, now I’m really confused. “Which part?”
“The drugs, dude. Though it sounds like he never gave Bria the choice. He spiked her drink instead.”
Jesus. Bria isn’t my favorite person, but no woman deserves to be taken advantage of like that. “When?”
“The week before Vegas.” Tito downs a swig of beer. “The last thing I should’ve done was sleep with her, too, but it happened. She was emotional and one thing led to another.”
“And now she’s pregnant.”
