Oh, she knew that was probably a sin of some sort. Still, after a lifetime of being invisible to the well-off people of town, she relished the idea of being seen by them. She hadn’t counted on Ethan being a man of means.
Tomorrow, she would pull him away from the others, and they would talk. She needed to get to know him. See if she wanted to marry the man. So far, she couldn’t see any reason not to. A troubling thought nagged at her as she wondered if the dress and presents were but a bribe to win her over.
Yet, she’d as much as agreed to marry Ethan sight unseen. She closed her eyes and thought of the man. Tall, strong, and handsome. His fingers were long and slender, and his hands soft. He was not a farmer, but he was a man she could enjoy looking at.
Claire slipped back into her lonely bed. The same loneliness she felt in the middle of her heart. She missed Thomas. It had been several months now since she had slept with her husband. On that last night, she’d loved him so. Now, he was but a memory and a fading one at that.
She wasn’t sure she could share their bed with Ethan. Not now, anyway. She hoped he wouldn’t mind sleeping in the guest room. As for how long Alex would be here, she couldn’t guess.
Although, the very first time she saw him, she thought of Jenna. Claire wasn’t sure if it was her knowing gift, but she believed that Alex and Jenna would make a good couple. She’d have to invite her over for dinner and introduce them.
She grinned. Here she was trying to decide if she could marry Ethan, and she was already trying to put Jenna and Alex together. What would Ethan think about that?
No, she didn’t know much about her man. She paused. Her man? Since when had she taken possession of Ethan? Besides, she needed to know if he would want to leave the farm and take her small family to the city. He could find a job in a library.
Claire sighed and pulled the covers up to her nose. She was just about to drift off to sleep when Leah opened her door and ran and jumped in bed with her.
“Mama, I love my doll and horse.” Even in the moonlight coming in through the window, the child’s smile brightened the room.
“That was very thoughtful of Mr. Freemont.”
Leah nodded and then frowned. “Has he come to replace Pa?”
“Not replace.” Claire gathered her daughter in a tight hug. “I know it’s hard to understand that your father is gone.”
“To heaven.”
“That’s right. We will need help to run the farm. That’s why Mr. Freemont has come.”
Leah frowned. “So, you hired him?”
“No. I sent a letter, and Mr. Freemont replied. We’ll see if we like each other, and if we do, we’ll get married.”
Snuggling under the covers next to her, Leah sighed. “I thought you were married to Papa.”
Claire closed her eyes for a moment. Her daughter could ask the most challenging questions, and they were usually the ones that Claire had been avoiding. She kissed the top of Leah’s head. “When a couple gets married, they make a vow to God, but it says until death do us part. That’s because the one left here on earth needs a husband or wife to make life easier.”
“Oh, I see. So, God sent Mr. Freemont to make your life easier. I like that. I’m glad God sent him.” Leah yawned and, within minutes, was sleeping the innocent slumber of the young.
After pulling the covers around her daughter, Claire looked out the window at the moon. Its silver light dusted the snow in beauty. The very thing that had taken Thomas from her now looked like a field of sparkling diamonds.
Could it be that the Lord had sent Ethan to help her? Would he be the one to free her from the farm? She could only hope.
***
Ethan awoke early, long before the sun decided to rise. He moved about quietly to keep from waking Alex and went into the big room. He wondered if Claire would take offense if he made breakfast? He’d helped her with dinner, and she seemed to enjoy it.
Overall, he thought the day had gone well. The children seemed to receive him. Tom was a little wary, but the horse and rifle looked like they had won him over. Not that Ethan wanted to buy the children’s or Claire’s affection.
Restless, he went outside. The frozen air slammed into him, taking his breath away. He thought of the men who’d died in the blizzard, and the thoughts they must have had for their families.
Ethan looked at the moon. “If they want me, I’ll take care of them. Tell Thomas that for me, Lord.”
He turned to see Tom coming out of the house.
The boy nodded at him. “It’s a cold one. I thought I better check on the livestock.”
“I’ll go with you.” Ethan waited for Tom to catch up to him. “That is if you don’t mind. You’re doing a fine job.”
He shrugged. “Most of them are yours.”
“I brought them for your family.”
Tom looked at him. “Thanks.” He gave Ethan a wary smile. “If you don’t mind, I just have some things to sort out.”
“I understand. I don’t want to rush things. When you want to talk, I do have some ideas about farming. I’ve never planted a seed, but I’ve read books, and some farmers have come up with innovative ways of plowing and planting to save the land and make better use of water.”
Tom opened the door to the barn. “Sounds interesting. I’ve often thought there might be betters ways to farm.”
Ethan grinned. “I can’t wait to share them with you, but I want you to let me know when you’re ready.”
“All right. It’s cold this morning, but it should warm up today. We can put the oxen out in the pasture. I’ll need to fix a section of the fence.”
“Alex and I can help you.”
Tom nodded. “I’ll check the chickens and get the eggs. Molly needs to be milked.”
Ethan scratched his head. “About that. I’ve never milked a cow either.”
After entering the barn, Tom grinned and pointed to the cow. “Take the bucket and the stool. Warm your hands and pull on her teat as if you were a calf getting dinner.”
“That’s all there is to it?” Ethan grabbed the items and went to the cow. “Easy girl, I don’t know what I’m doing, so you’ll have to help me.” He sat beside her and put the bucket under her udder. After rubbing his hands, he attempted to milk her.
Molly turned and stared at him then delivered a kick to the pail and his stomach, knocking him over.
Tom stopped pitching hay to the horses and laughed. “I guess Molly wasn’t ready to be milked. Leah does her most mornings.”
“Oh, so you know how to add insult to injury.” Ethan laughed. “Nothing like being shown up by an eight-year-old.”
Tom came over, patted Molly, and set the bucket under the cow. “Warm your hands real good.” He rubbed his hands and then blew on them. “Easy, Molly. You’re going to have to get used to Mr. Freemont.”
Molly mooed, and then after Tom put his hands to her udder milk flowed into the bucket.
Ethan tapped Tom on the shoulder. “Let me have a try.”
Tom stepped aside and watched.
Ethan warmed his hands good this time and went about following Tom’s example. The milk flowed. “I guess it’s all in the warm hands. I can understand that. Sorry, Miss Molly.”
Tom took the bucket from him. “Ma will make butter today. I bet she’ll let you help.”
“Sounds good. I know I have a lot to learn, but I intend to be a help and not a hindrance.” Ethan looked Tom straight in the eye. From what he saw of Thomas’s son, his father had been a good man.
Ethan also saw that he’d have to be honest and straightforward with Tom. Let him know his plans and intentions well before he wanted to implement them. This was Tom’s farm and was to be handed down to him.
What Ethan wondered was where he would fit in? He hadn’t given it much thought, but now that he was here on the Braden Farm, he could feel Thomas Braden’s presence.
Claire was the key. Once she accepted him, the children would follow. Although Leah had already warmed up to
him. Claire looked at him more like an intruder than a future husband.
Ethan left Tom and went to the side of the house and looked out at the land. Gently rolling with not a tree to stop the view. He’d make sure to plant some around the house. Plant some of the evergreen saplings he’d seen in the order book to block the north wind from the crops.
Then he turned and looked back at the house. Claire. Ethan took off his hat and bowed his head. “Father in heaven, make a way for Claire to accept me. I know it will be hard with so many memories of her husband lingering around the place. Help me know what to say and do for her. Amen.”
Chapter 10
Days had passed, and Claire was no closer to welcoming Ethan into her life than when she first read his letter. The heavy burden of loss still rested on her heart, not leaving any space for Ethan.
She finished making breakfast and brought it out to the table. The children came in and sat down.
“Where are Ethan and Alex?”
Tom shrugged. “They weren’t in the guest room.”
A chill crawled down Claire’s back. The men had been here for almost a week. She’d tried to be cordial to them, but every time she got a warm thought, she felt she was betraying Thomas. She prayed she hadn’t scared them away.
Ethan was a good man. She knew that much about him. She’d catch him watching her with a kind smile, but she never returned that smile. How could she? That was asking more than she could endure in a house full of memories of Thomas.
Even though their vows had said till death do us part, Claire couldn’t convince herself to take off the ring that Thomas had put on her finger. Yes, she’d seen Ethan looking at it as if it were a locked door. Perhaps that was what it was. Her heart was locked away. There was no room for Ethan or any man.
She hadn’t even talked to him about leaving the farm and moving to a city back east. Tonight, was New Year’s Eve. Perhaps with a new year, it was the right time to reveal her secret. Again, she felt like a traitor to Thomas and her children, but she couldn’t take it any longer.
The cold days and nights. The long hard hours toiling under the sun to coax the crops from the ground. Seeing her children suffer. Knowing others who succumbed to the hardships. Claire wasn’t sure how people lived in the city, but it had to be easier.
After the children finished their breakfast, she cleaned the dishes and went outside. Claire looked in the barn, and the two men’s horses were missing. A hard lump formed in her throat. The idea that once again she and her family had been left alone terrified her.
It had been comforting to know there were men in the house, and she had protection from the occasional drifters that came along. Now, were they gone. She went back inside.
“Mama, where’s Mr. Freemont?”
“I don’t know.” Claire smiled to hide her fears.
Tom sat down. “He’d have told us if he was leaving. I’m sure they’ll be back.” Hope shone in his eyes.
Claire nodded. “I guess you’re right.” From what she knew of Ethan, she didn’t really think he’d leave her without telling her.
“It’s a nice day. Warm enough to go riding.” Leah sat at her knee.
“No, you stay around the house today.” Claire’s breath caught. Trouble, she felt it in the air. That’s what had been wrong this morning. Something wasn’t right. She felt it. Knew it.
She took her wrap and went outside to sit on the porch and wait for Ethan to come back. Come home. The thought shocked her. When had her heart opened enough to allow her to care for him?
Tom came outside and stood beside her, resting his hand on her shoulder. “He’ll come back. Both of them. They’re good men.”
She patted her son’s hand. He was trying to be the man. To comfort her. “Yes, I believe he will. Everything will be all right.” Her heart froze. She’d said those same words after Thomas had been gone for too long. Please, not again, she silently prayed while trying to keep a smile on her face for her children.
“I see them, Mama.” Leah pointed.
Claire looked in the direction and saw two riders coming toward them. Relief spilled over her and allowed her to breathe. “You’re right, Leah. They’re coming back.”
Thoughts collided with memories of other times when Thomas would be late, and she’d see him coming. Relief would mix with anger. This time was no different, and she wasn’t even married to the man. How had she become so dependent?
Swallowing hard, Claire stood and waited for them to get near. One thing was for sure, she was going to have to find a skill she could use to make a living. Life was too uncertain. She needed to be able to take care of herself and her children without a man.
Ethan and Alex rode up to the front of the house and stepped down from their horses. Alex took the reins and walked the animals back to the barn.
Ethan smiled at her. “Sorry that we missed breakfast. I looked out and saw the oxen go through a break in the pasture. I thought I heard wolves last night, so I wanted to check on them.” He took off his gloves and scarf. “It’s warming up. Might be a nice day.”
Claire stood and nodded at him. “I was worried.”
“I’m sorry. We didn’t have time to leave a note. The wolves were after the oxen, alright. Old Baldy got one of them with his sharp horn. That must have been enough to scare the pack off.”
Claire looked around. “Where’s Rustler?”
Leah tugged on her skirt. “I let him sleep in my room last night. I was scared. I heard the wolves, too.”
Claire hadn’t wanted to, but disappointment flew out of her heart before she could stop it. “He’s an outside animal. Besides, we need him to fend off the varmints from the livestock. We can’t afford to let the wolves eat our chickens or cows.” She looked down at Leah and felt bad for chastising her in front of the men.
Tears slipped down Leah’s cheeks. “I didn’t want Rustler to get hurt. Papa gave him to me.”
Claire nodded. “Of course.” She hugged her daughter and understood that Leah was hanging onto what was left. She remembered the day Thomas came home with the scrawny pup that he’d saved out of the river. Leah loved that dog.
Ethan smiled. “No harm done. I think Baldy will be a good guard for our little herd.” He looked at her. “We fixed the fence. Should keep the animals in the pasture.”
Claire felt embarrassed. “Very well, I put the food away. I didn’t know, I wasn’t sure—”
Ethan put a hand on hers. “It’s all right. Alex and I can hold out until lunch. I didn’t expect you to make another breakfast.”
Warmth shot through her like a summer storm. His hand remained on hers, and she allowed it. His presence made her feel better and took away the feeling that something was wrong. Maybe finally, everything would be all right.
Ethan nodded at her son. “Tom, when you’d like to, I’d like to see the lay of the land. Get your ideas about what to plant, and when we start plowing and planting.”
Standing tall with importance, the boy nodded. “Anytime you’d like. Today looks like it will be a nice day if you aren’t too tired.”
“Fine. I’ll catch Alex before he unsaddles the horses. Do you mind if he goes along?”
Tom shrugged. “No, I guess it would be fine.”
“Thanks. He’s been feeling a little useless and would like to help. Nothing permanent. I was hoping he might find a gal that needs a good man.”
Claire walked to the end of the porch. “Is he a good man, Ethan?”
“Yes, he is.”
“Doesn’t seem like he’s had much ambition.”
“No, he’s been living the life of a happy-go-lucky man, but a good woman can change that.” Ethan sprinted toward the barn.
Claire watched him run as his long legs ate up the ground with energy and strength. He was a strong man and one with a zest for life. As she watched him enter the barn, she wondered where her passion for life had gone? Then she wondered if it had died on the prairie under a ton of snow.
Chapter
11
Ethan had heard Leah talk about the New Year’s Eve party tonight. Claire hadn’t said anything about it to him. It wasn’t even noon, and the day had warmed up. He could drive them all into town in the wagon.
Claire came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. She looked at him and gave him one of her attempts at a smile. They hadn’t had time to sit alone and talk, but as it was, Leah and Tom were riding, and Alex was tending to the livestock.
“Claire, could we talk?”
She looked at him as if she were a mouse trapped by a cat. Finally, she sat in the chair farthest from him. “Yes.”
“I know there’s a New Year’s Eve party tonight in town. I think the weather is nice enough that we could go and spend the night in town. It does have a hotel, doesn’t it?”
She nodded.
“You could wear your new dress.”
Claire sat straight as if she were on guard for a fight. “I know the children would like to go.”
Seeing how nervous she was, he pointed outside. “Alex and I can sleep in the wagon, and you and the children could get a room. I have money to pay for it.”
“Oh, really, Mr. Freemont. I don’t expect you to pay for everything.” She clasped her hands.
“Why? I came because I intend to marry you when we both think it’s proper. I want to take care of you and the children. And please, call me Ethan.”
“Well, Ethan, this is all so new to me. I was married for thirteen years. It’s been some time since I thought about courting and marrying.” She drew in a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I know I can’t be what you expected. It’s going to take time before I can commit to another marriage. There are so many things to think about.”
“I understand.” Disappointed, Ethan got up and went to the chair beside her. “Claire, I only mean to help you and your family. I thought that was what you wanted.”
A Groom for Claire Page 6
