“What else was discussed?” Yamamoto asked.
She shrugged. “The fight. Normal stuff. Perhaps a little about my frustration with Commander Steele.”
Yamamoto sat in his chair, studying her. “What brought up the topic of your mother?”
She could tell that Yamamoto was looking for something. “I don’t recall…” Then it came to her. “Wait. I do recall. He lost a parent too. His father.”
“Ah,” Yamamoto said, nodding in acknowledgement. “That may explain his sensitivity about that topic.”
Catherine held her breath, afraid that Yamamoto would probe her for more information about Eshel’s father. Her instinct was not to repeat it; but given the situation, she may have to. And why shouldn’t she? Fortunately, Yamamoto didn’t pursue it.
“And Eshel didn’t talk of his own knowledge of genetics, or attempt to pry information out of you?”
“No. He hardly talked at all.”
“And that is your sworn word, to your mentor and XO?”
“Yes, Sir, that is my sworn word.” She paused. “Will I be discharged for this?”
Yamamoto shook his head. “I see no violation in talking about what happened with your mother, even in such scientific detail. I do, however, highly recommend you avoid the topic of genetics with Eshel in the future, if you want to avoid further scrutiny.”
She sighed in relief. “I will, Sir. Thank you.” She paused. “Why did Commander Steele seem so convinced I would be sent home?”
Yamamoto was silent for a moment as he stroked his chin. “Catherine, I must ask you a question that is personal in nature. However, there is good reason for my prying.” He paused. “Are you romantically involved with Eshel?”
Catherine felt her face grow hot. “Are you serious?”
“When have you known me to be silly, Catherine?”
“Sorry, Sir,” Catherine replied quickly. “No. We are not involved in any way. But with all due respect, even if we were, why is that anyone’s business? He doesn’t report to me.”
“Given the situation, such an involvement would create suspicion among many, especially Commander Steele, who must oversee the protection of highly sensitive information.”
Catherine could tell from Yamamoto’s tone that his statement wasn’t merely a justification for suspicion. It was a warning. She nodded in acknowledgment. “We’re only friends, Sir. He shares very little about himself. And he shows no interest at all in… in any of that. I don’t understand why anyone would think otherwise.”
“Apparently, it is known that Eshel was in your quarters last night, and that he didn’t return to his own quarters until a very early hour this morning. Reports from several crewmembers were such that suggested a romantic connection between you.”
She shook her head again, recalling Middleton’s complaining that everyone knows everyone else’s business on a starship. She wondered if perhaps he wasn’t quite so whiny after all. “I see Tom and Snow nearly every day and no one says anything about that. Eshel was in my quarters last night, but only because he insisted on making sure I recovered from my concussion, as the doctor asked him to.”
Yamamoto smiled. “And how often does Eshel tear himself away from his studies to spend time with others, much less spend twelve hours tending to someone’s bedside?”
She let out an exasperated sigh. What could she say? Yamamoto and these other people didn’t understand. They didn’t know Eshel, that he’d ratted her out to cover his own ass, that he’d come close to getting her discharged.
“I will let the Captain and Commander Steele know we have spoken. However,” he added, “I strongly urge you to be cautious, Catherine.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Catherine left Yamamoto’s office and walked back to her quarters, praying she would hear no more chirps for a while. She lay on her bed, exhaustion suddenly overcoming her. Her head hurt. While relieved that her talk with Eshel hadn’t landed her in any real hot water, she couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that Eshel had betrayed her. People said the Korvali weren’t trustworthy, that they were calculating. Perhaps, in her friendship with Eshel, she’d forgotten that, had let down her guard too much.
Just as she rose to get a pain pill, her door sounded. She scowled. Eshel. She voiced him in.
“Why did you do it?” she demanded.
Eshel didn’t reply. She could tell he knew exactly what she referred to.
“Don’t pull that goddamn silent treatment with me, Eshel,” she hissed at him. “I know you ratted me out! Tell me why you call yourself my friend and ask me to tell you about my mother’s illness, promise to say nothing to Steele or to anyone else, and then go right out and tell him.”
“It was necessary.”
“Necessary? I could have been discharged!”
“You weren’t.”
Catherine shook her head at Eshel’s annoyingly cold response. She felt her head throb again, and sat down on her bed, her weariness catching up with her again.
“You look unwell,” Eshel said. “Do you require your pain medication?” He began walking to her table, where the small dispenser sat.
“Don’t.”
He ignored the medication and faced her. “My betraying you was necessary to convince Commander Steele that he can trust me, that I do not keep secrets from him regarding you.”
“You couldn’t have told me that before I shared what happened with my mother?” she shot back, feeling herself get angrier. “If I’d known you required Steele’s good opinion, I would’ve kept my mouth shut instead of telling you something so personal. That wasn’t just a lesson in cancer genetics, Eshel! She was my mother, and she’s dead, and she’s a big reason I do what I do … and you revealed that information to the one person who seems determined to hold me back! I’m losing years of progress on this ship and you just made it worse!” She stopped herself, realizing she was nearly shouting.
“Be calm, Catherine…”
“Don’t tell me to be calm!”
Eshel was silent, and remained so for some time, as if waiting for her to settle down on her own. Finally, he spoke. “You do not understand. If you and I are to achieve our aims, one of us must gain Commander Steele’s trust. He does not like you, so it is I he must trust.”
Catherine looked up at Eshel. “What aims?”
“For you, to conduct your research as you should be.”
“And for you?”
He hesitated. “I have projects as well.”
“Genetics projects?”
“No. That is too risky for me.” He paused. “Catherine, it was important that I betray you in this way. The information about your mother was enough to convince the Commander that I show no loyalty to you, but not enough to result in your discharge.”
A realization came over her. “You did this on purpose.”
“Yes.”
“And what happens next time you need to do that? The consequences may be more severe.”
“They won’t.”
“How do you know?” she said.
“There will be no next time.”
“Why should I believe you?”
He stared at her with his pale sea eyes. “It is like your poker game. The stakes are much higher for me, should you choose to betray me.”
He was right. He had far more to lose than she did. Catherine felt her anger dissipate. “I’m on your side, Eshel. And I have nothing to betray you with, anyway.”
“No. But you will.” He walked over to her table, retrieving one tablet from her pill dispenser and handing it to her. He gave her his canteen to drink from.
After a bit of hesitation, she placed the pill on her tongue and drank Eshel’s chilly water. “I’m sorry if I was…” She handed his canteen back to him, trying to think of the right word.
“Temperamental,” he offered.
She chuckled, shaking her head, too tired to rebut.
“You are tired,” he said. “Rest. I am off duty on Saturday and will swim. Since you ca
nnot yet train, perhaps you will go with me to the coastline.”
Catherine replied that she would. After Eshel left, she lay down and slept.
Saturday, Eshel and Catherine boarded the train and sat down among chattering Derovians, many of whom looked at them in curiosity. Catherine’s black eye had diminished quite a bit, her bandages had been removed, and her other injuries were only mild aches. But even with her almost-normal appearance, she and Eshel stood out.
Eshel conducted his usual scan, probably looking for Sunai. There were none to be found. Tom and Snow had told her at second meal that week about Eshel’s attack at the water station. Catherine shook her head, chastising herself for having let him out of her sight. They told her he’d managed to defend himself by going for the eyeshades and escaping back into the crowd. She wondered why Eshel hadn’t told her about the attack. Then, with some chagrin, she realized why; the evening the Sunai accosted him was the same evening she’d been called up by Steele and had accused Eshel of selling her out.
“You should’ve told me the other night about being attacked again,” she said.
“There were more important things to discuss,” Eshel replied.
She considered reminding him to stay close to them when off the ship, but she refrained. Eshel already knew he shouldn’t wander off alone, but struggled with it nonetheless. The Korvali were a clanspeople, but Eshel said they tended to go about their business alone or in pairs, free to splinter off in their own direction at will, without a word. “Did you talk with Yamamoto or the Captain? It seems strange that it was the same guys who attacked us before.”
“Yes. They will speak with the Sunai, but there is little to be done if the attacks do not occur on Suna.”
When they reached their stop, Catherine stood up but Eshel remained seated, stating that he’d found a “far superior” location than their usual tourist’s beach. Although 20 minutes farther away, Eshel’s new find was a small cove that required them to descend a long, narrow staircase from the top of one of the steep cliffs. There were a couple of portions where the stairs turned into a ladder, forcing them to climb down with their belongings on their backs, with nothing but a long fall to the cove below. The cove had few people and far more trees, providing the privacy Eshel craved and the shade both their fair skins required.
Eshel had barely set his things down before he began stripping down to his swim trunks. He walked gracefully into the ocean, dove into the water, and swam away. Catherine read. Later, she took out a picnic she’d packed for herself, making sure to bring enough in case Eshel decided to eat.
When Eshel returned hours later, he saw the spread and said, “I have berrywine.”
She smiled. “Perfect.”
He retrieved the canister from his pack and opened it. Catherine put out her cup, and Eshel poured some for her, then some for himself.
“Cheers.” She raised her cup and clinked it with Eshel’s. She took a sip; it was delicious. “Is this red tefuna? Where did you get this?”
“My sources.”
She laughed. “Your sources? You’re beginning to sound like Tom.”
He smiled at that.
“Esh, does it feel strange to be so far away from your people?”
Eshel looked at her with his sea gaze. She’d begun to know his different gazes, and knew he would answer her question. “Yes. But I still have half of one year to complete my adjustment.”
Catherine was unsure of what he meant. Then she recalled telling him it could take a year for him to grow used to living among them. And he’d been with them six months already.
“What about your family, your… clan?” she asked. “Do you miss them?”
“Miss them?”
“Long for them… or wish you were near them.”
He thought for a moment. “That is not the correct word. It is more that a Korvali must face the difficulty of a broken… bond… when separated from those he has joined with. It can be difficult. Who do you… miss?”
Not expecting the question, Catherine thought about it. “My dad, mostly. And my mom… but she’s been gone a long time. And you?”
“My mother and father. It is different with my father,” he added, his expression getting colder. “And Elan.”
“Elan? Who’s Elan?”
“He is a geneticist. And my friend.”
“He’s Shereb?”
“Yes. He is the eldest son of the malkaris.”
Catherine stared at him, not sure what to say.
“You appear surprised,” Eshel said.
“I thought you hated them.”
Eshel took a sip from his cup. “Elan is not like the others. The second eldest, Ivar, is the worst of them. The two youngest, Moeb and Vashar… they are less vile, but growing to be more like Ivar.” He paused. “Elan would chastise me for not continuing my work, for not having convinced the Alliance. He would not understand the world outside Korvalis. But my father would understand. My father desired that I have opportunity to explore offworld.”
“That’s why he helped you with your epigenetic design.”
“Yes. But he taught me much more than that. He taught me what he knew about the other worlds. He wanted me to learn the language of the outsiders, and when we worked alone in the lab, he would speak in English, in primary Sunai, in Derovian… to ensure I learned.” He paused. “If he lived, he would be pleased.”
“Does your mother, or Elan, know you’re alive?”
“Elan must know. If my mother does not, she will discover the truth. She is a member of our assembly, and she is… clever.”
Catherine nodded, turning to look out at the sea. The water had darkened to a deeper blue under the fading sun.
“I will swim,” Eshel said after a while, standing up. “I believe you are safe here,” he added, glancing around him. The cove’s other visitors had left.
“It’s going to get dark soon,” she warned.
“Do not worry.” He departed, entered the sea once more, and disappeared.
Catherine took a quick dip in the sea and then lay on her mat, relaxed from the red tefuna and the quiet surrounds. Eshel had found the perfect spot, she thought to herself. She imagined what it would be like to live in such a place, to do what a small number of human ex-pats had done and set up residence on Derovia. She smiled, imagining how she would stick out among Derovia’s citizens, how they would call her “Miss Catherine” and “Dr. Finnegan” instead of just “Catherine,” and ask her lots of questions about Earth. She imagined a life free of research, of genetics, of Commander Steele and technology and glutted cities, with days spent reading in quiet coves….
She jumped when something cold touched her leg. It was a water droplet. A dark figure stood silhouetted above her. She gasped and within a moment she was on her feet.
It was Eshel. She let out a sigh of relief.
“If you must sleep,” Eshel said, “I will stay here. It is not safe otherwise.”
She looked around. The Katara sun had set, their small cove illuminated only by the reflected light from Suna’s rings. No one else was around.
“I don’t remember falling sleep.” She hugged her arms around her, chilled from the breeze, the long leaves of their tree swaying above them.
“You are cold,” Eshel said.
Catherine nodded, goose bumps forming on her skin. Eshel’s skin showed no such bumps, as the water droplets seemed to bead up and evaporate from his pale body.
She knew it was time for them to return to the ship, so she reached for her pack. “I need to change,” she said. She twirled her hand, indicating for Eshel to turn around. As she stripped off her clammy suit and dropped it on her mat, she dug through her bag for her dry clothing. Just as she pulled out a t-shirt, she felt something touch her hair. A quiver ran through her. She turned around quickly, shielding her nudity with her shirt.
Eshel stood close to her, far closer than he ever had.
CHAPTER 12
Catherine stood motionless as
Eshel stared at her with an unfamiliar gaze. Eshel often watched things or people, observing some minor behavior or thing he found unusual. But despite her familiarity with Eshel, and despite the length of their acquaintance, his proximity to her unnerved her. Instinctively, she backed away.
“I do not mean to startle you,” he said. “I should have asked first.”
“Asked what?”
“To touch you.”
Catherine looked at him in surprise, attempting to discover some sign of his intent, but finding none. “You want to touch me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Eshel peered at her with his unblinking eyes. “I do not know.”
Catherine still didn’t move, seeing only the strange expression on Eshel’s face. He stepped toward her, and she felt her heart begin to pound. Eshel reached up and touched her hair, taking a handful at its roots and gently following it to its ends. He did the same with another handful of her hair, seeming almost fascinated by its existence, staring at it as he let it run between his webbed fingers.
After letting go of her hair, he placed both hands on her shoulders, their heat warming her. She’d noticed the warmth of his hands during training—it was the only skin-to-skin contact they’d ever had—but she assumed the warmth was due mostly to heat generated from their workout. But even in their stillness, the heat of his hands was intense.
He moved his hands to her chest, and she wondered if he could feel her heart, which still pounded. She realized her t-shirt no longer covered her. It lay in a heap at her feet, leaving her completely nude. She didn’t know if she’d dropped it, or if Eshel had removed it.
Eshel touched her breasts, almost as if afraid to harm them. Then his hands travelled down to her stomach, and further downward. Just as Catherine began to wonder if she should back away, he withdrew his hands and took two steps back. He looked down, his expression clouded.
“Never speak of this,” he said, his voice almost a whisper.
She nodded, agreeing to his request. She bent down to retrieve her shirt.
But just before she picked it up, Eshel stopped her, encircling her arm with his hand. She stood up and faced him, her heart thumping once again. He looked down at her, taking two steps toward her, until he was next to her.
The Refugee (The Korvali Chronicles Book 1) Page 13
