Kade reached over and gently circled my wrists with his fingers, tugging my hand from my hair. Really? I could’ve been snarky, but I chose not to be and lowered my hand. Something told me he was trying to keep me calm, which I appreciated. I didn’t want to morph into crazy-girl in front of Hunt.
Hunt glanced at Kade. Kade cocked his head slightly as he looked at me.
“What? I’m fine. I’m wearing my big girl panties.” I had to show them I was cool, even though I didn’t like the sound of mafia, or Pitt, or Sullivan.
Hunt roared with laughter. Kade just smirked. I even laughed.
“Come on, let’s get something to eat. Hunt, are you hungry?”
Ooookay. We were done talking. Which was fine with me for now. Hunger pangs kept poking at my stomach.
“Go ahead, man. I’ll check the sparks on the Mustang.”
Kade and I left Hunt in the garage. A mist of rain had started to fall when we stepped out. I shivered. The temperature had dropped too. Wrapping his arm around me, Kade drew me to him as we headed the short distance to the house.
Every stainless appliance in Kade’s kitchen sparkled under the recessed lights. Even the black granite countertops shone. It reminded me of our kitchen back in LA. Mary would die if she saw this place.
“What will it be?” Kade asked with his hand on the open fridge door.
“Um…don’t laugh. But if you have peanut butter and jelly, I would settle for that.”
His head whipped around. “Why? We have lunch meat.” He said it as though PB&J violated the rules of American cuisine.
“So? I like PB&J.”
Closing the fridge, he opened up a cabinet and pulled out the peanut butter. “You’re in luck. Kody likes it too.”
“Let me guess. The rest of you are meat lovers.”
“We’re growing men,” he said matter-of-factly. Wasn’t that the truth? All of them were at least six foot or more, muscular, and handsome. He’d talked a little about his father, but he had yet to mention anything about his mother. I couldn’t wait to meet his parents to see what they looked like.
“Does your mom only eat meat too?”
“Nah, she likes the PB&J.”
After he had all the ingredients on the long granite island, he made his sandwich of salami and cheese. I made my own sandwich, making myself at home. Then he disappeared into a pantry on the other side of the fridge before emerging with a bag of chips and two plates.
He studied me for a second then said, “Let me guess. You want milk with that sandwich.”
I sat down on one of the bar stools. “Duh.” I bit into my sandwich. Heaven.
He poured me some milk and then sat on a stool next to me.
I chased my next bite with a mouthful of milk. He at his sandwich in four bites.
“So does your mom work?” I asked.
“Our mom doesn’t live with us.”
“Are your mom and dad divorced?” Careful, girl. If you ask questions, he’ll ask you questions.
“No.” He slid off the stool suddenly, as though I’d asked the wrong question. He dumped his plate into the sink then returned the chips to the pantry.
“You don’t want to talk about it?”
“No. Not now.”
I was cool with that. I finished my PB&J, downed the last of the milk, and then set the glass in the sink. I’d just filled it with water when Kade’s body pressed into my back, his hand sweeping my hair to one side. Tilting my neck, I shuddered.
His lips skimmed the sensitive spot behind my ear. I turned in his arms, his darkened gaze meeting mine. Angling his head slightly, he lowered it until his lips skated across mine, his tongue tracing a pattern along my lower lip. “So soft,” he whispered.
A soft sound escaped me. I loved when he spoke to me in that husky voice. The deep timbre of it slid along my skin like pure silk.
“Baby, don’t make sounds like that.” Flames shone in his eyes. “Unless you want to go to my bedroom.”
I wanted a lot of things, but nothing more than him right at this moment.
Someone cleared his throat. “Kade,” Hunt said. “The car needs new plugs. We should run to the store.”
“Can you give us a minute?” Kade asked, not moving.
“I’ll be out in the garage.” Hunt’s footsteps clattered against the wood floor as he retreated.
The microwave clock to my left read three p.m. If he went to the store would he be back in time for me to make my appointment? “Will I be able to use my car today?” The nervous-butterflies perked up inside me.
He, too, glanced at the clock. “If the spark plugs are bad, then the car could stall. I’d prefer if you didn’t use it until we can get new ones. I can take you to your appointment.” He placed his hands on the sink at my sides.
I glanced at my distorted reflection in the stainless appliances. He already knew I had missed an appointment with my shrink. Maybe this was a way to see how he reacted, and if I could trust him. I curled my fingers in the waist of his jeans.
“Careful. My room isn’t far.” No grin, no smile, just a serious expression on his beautiful face.
Yeah, so. “Um.” I chewed on my bottom lip.
He framed my face in his hands. “Baby, you’re shaking.”
“I’m cold, that’s all,” I lied. A low buzzing began in my head. “I can still drive my car, though?” Should I take a chance with my car?
“I would feel like an ass if your car broke down. And I’d hate to face the wrath of your dad. I practically begged him to let me fix it. He put his trust in me.” He placed his forehead against mine. “Please, Lace. I’d worry.”
Wow, he sure knew how to make a good argument. Closing my eyes, I inhaled. When I did, the tang of mustard and salami accosted me. I giggled.
“What’s so funny?”
“Your breath smells like meat.”
His tongue snaked out, trying to push through my lips.
“Yuck.”
“Hey, yours isn’t any better, Peanut-Butter Breath.” He grinned. “So, what’s your answer?”
Did I have a choice? What if it did break down? Dad would be furious at me for not seeing Dr. Davis again. Then he would turn his rage on Kade for not fixing it properly.
“Okay. I have a doctor’s appointment in Lancaster.”
“Was that so bad?”
“Yeah, Kade, it was.” My tone was even. “This is hard for me, and I’ve been nothing but bitchy to you.”
“What did we talk about earlier? Getting to know each other, right?”
“I honestly thought you only wanted me for my body,” I teased. I had to make light of the conversation to shake off the little bee in my head.
“Oh, you don’t know how much,” he drawled in a pained voice.
I had a good idea. But right now, I needed to be sure I could trust him.
He grabbed my butt, pulling me to him, hips to hips.
I gasped. Yeah, he was definitely ready to take me to his room.
Kade dropped me off at Dr. Davis’s office while he went to the auto parts store. Hunt stayed behind to continue the tune-up on my car. Kross had come home as we were leaving, and Kade asked him if he could help Hunt. He agreed, only if Hunt would spar with him.
“You’ll have to ask him,” Kade had said. “The last time he sparred with you, he got stitches over his eye.”
I’d been curious about how Hunt got that scar. I wouldn’t have minded having a go in the ring myself, especially with Kelton. The idea of punching the cocky grin off of his face thrilled me. But I couldn’t do anything to screw up my arm. Not with tryouts in two days.
I climbed the stairs to the second floor, thinking about what questions Dr. Davis might ask me. Since this was my first meeting with him,
would he make me go through the details of that night? My stomach knotted at that thought.
I had just turned to go up the second set of stairs when heavy footsteps sounded above me. Looking up, I practically did a double take. One of the Maxwell triplets came down the stairs, fiddling with his keys. His shaggy hair hung over his ears. He wore a white T-shirt underneath a blue buttoned-up shirt opened in the front over black jeans. If it weren’t for Kross’s short hair and bulging biceps or the scar on Kelton’s chin, I wouldn’t have known this was Kody.
“Hey, Lacey,” he said in a placid tone, as though he wasn’t surprised to see me.
“Um…hi.” My tone was full of what the heck was he doing here? Was he coming from Dr. Davis’s office? If so, why hadn’t Kade mentioned Kody went to the same doctor?
We were both standing on the landing. He studied me with deep-blue eyes that held so much sadness, and I didn’t know what to say.
“You weren’t in chemistry today. Is everything okay?” he asked.
No. “I didn’t feel well this morning.”
“Well, we have a quiz tomorrow on properties of matter,” he said. “Make sure you know boiling point, melting point, and all that.”
“Thanks. I better go.” I started to climb the stairs. While I wanted to know why he was here, I couldn’t ask without telling him why I was, and that wasn’t going to happen.
“Lacey?”
I grabbed hold of the railing and turned.
“I did come from Dr. Davis’s office. We all have issues.” He played with his keys.
“What does that mean?” Did he know I was going to see Dr. Davis? I gripped the rail tighter.
“Look, the only office on the second floor is Dr. Davis’s.”
Okay, but why was he coming out this way? Dr. Meyers always had a private way out for her patients, so they didn’t run into the ones coming in for their appointment. Or she timed it where patients didn’t run into each other. Maybe Dr. Davis’s office wasn’t set up that way.
“I have to go. I have a guitar lesson. Is Kade coming back for you?”
Drawing my eyebrows together, I almost slipped off the step. “Yeah. How did you know he brought me here?” Kade told him about me?
He cocked his head to one side. “Lace, we’re brothers. We do talk.”
Oh, God. Did Kody know about my panic attack on Saturday?
“You knew I would be here?” My nails dug into wood railing.
“Kade sent me a text a few minutes ago.”
“Why?” Suddenly, I wished the stair rail were Kade’s eyes. Several things were going through my mind. One, I was going to kill Kade. Two, why hadn’t he told me about Kody being here? Three, now Kody knew about me seeing a shrink. Who else knew? A large bumblebee zipped around in my head.
Noticing something was wrong, Kody said, “Hey, it’s okay. Seeing each other here doesn’t go past these four walls.”
“Past these walls and your brothers,” I all but snapped. God, I was so stupid to trust Kade. Tears stung my eyes.
“Lacey, we talk. We don’t gossip. Besides, do you think I want people at school knowing I see a shrink?” He grinned crookedly, and it reminded me of Kelton and Kade—disarming and warm.
I guess he had a point.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I promise—on my end, no one will hear it from me. Okay?” He shoved one hand into the front pocket of his jeans.
“Yeah. I promise too. I gotta go.” I ran up the stairs on shaky legs and into the reception area of Dr. Davis’s office.
“I was just going to call you,” said a handsome man with perfectly coiffed salt-and-pepper hair with a goatee to match. I assumed it was Dr. Davis.
“I’m sorry.” I was numb walking into his office. Two people now knew that I was seeing a shrink. Before long, the whole school was going to know. My breathing became shallow as I eased down onto a leather couch, trying to calm the whirring in my head.
“Are you okay?” Dr. Davis asked.
I squeezed my eyes shut. Get it together.
“Lacey?” His voice was calm as he sat down next to me.
My eyelids slid open, and a tear escaped.
“What’s wrong?” He stretched to grab a box of tissues from the end table, slanting it toward me.
Pulling out a tissue, I patted my eyes. “It’s just…ever since I started school, things haven’t been going well.”
“Like what?” He rose, walked over to his desk, and snagged a notepad. Then he settled into a chair opposite me.
Staring out the window, I gathered my thoughts. The clouds finally opened up and a steady rain fell. I hugged myself as I turned my attention to Dr. Davis. He kept his gaze focused on me with his hands clasped in his lap, one leg crossed over the other. His gray eyes were soft but concerned.
I swallowed. “I’m sorry I missed my appointment the other day.”
“No problem.”
Silence dangled as he wrote on his notepad. What was he writing? I hadn’t given him any details yet.
Subtle tans, reds, and oranges colored the walls while a soft glow from the table lamp next to me enhanced the coziness of the room. “So, do you like Ashford?” he asked in a soothing voice.
I wiped my nose with the wadded up tissue, and nodded.
“What’s one thing you like about it?”
“The trees and the fall colors,” I said quietly. Fall was one of the seasons I was excited about. I’d only seen pictures of how beautiful this area was when the leaves changed. In California, we had some trees that changed colors, but we didn’t have the dense wooded landscape like New England.
“The fall is pretty. This is only the beginning, too. The colors don’t peak until October.”
“I’m scared,” I whispered, tears forming again.
“About?” His voice softened.
Even though I’d just met him, I wanted to spill my guts to him. Maybe it was his nurturing tone, or the gentleness in his dark eyes. “Life. Living on edge. Not getting the images of my mother and my sister out of my head. Always waking up in a cold sweat from nightmares.”
“Did something happen recently, Lacey?”
A tear dropped on my jeans. I curled my legs underneath me. “I had one of my panic attacks the other night and Kody’s brother, Kade, was with me when it happened. Now he wants to know why I have panic attacks. I’m afraid to tell him. Heck, I’m afraid of anyone knowing that I’m broken. Now Kody knows that I see a shrink.”
“Why are you afraid of telling Kade?”
A tinge of anger surfaced. “Would you want people to know that you’re crazy?”
“Having PTSD doesn’t mean you’re crazy.” Compassion laced his words. “After a traumatic event, the mind and body are in shock.”
“You didn’t see the look on Kade’s face when I came out of the flashback. He was frightened. I don’t want him to be afraid of me.” I didn’t want to see his eyes bulge like that again.
“I think he might be afraid for you. He probably didn’t know how to help. Take me through what happened the other night.”
I explained what I remembered from when Kade and I drove up to the house.
“So the trigger was the dark house?” he asked.
I nodded. “So how could Kade have helped?”
He scribbled on his notepad. “For one, he would need to know the triggers. During the next session I would like to explore some of the details of the trauma. That way we can determine what other things generate an episode. We’ll take it slowly and gradually. Fair enough?”
“Yes.” I only knew of the lights trigger for sure. However, a few other things were scorched into my memory of that night—all the blood I’d slipped in on the kitchen floor, and the scent of it—the insect-repellent smell of the cologne in
the garage, and the worst part—Mom and Julie’s bodies. For as long as I lived, that memory would haunt my dreams. “Dr. Davis, will I ever get better?”
He crossed one leg over the other. “I can’t say you will ever forget what you went through. Trauma is hard on anyone, and everyone processes it differently. But with some hard work, there is the possibility you can get to a point where you’re not having attacks or flashbacks.”
“I know I will never get that night out of my head, but I don’t want to be afraid anymore.” I wrapped my arms around myself.
“Let’s shift topics for a moment. In the file I received from Dr. Meyers, it says you like to play baseball. What position do you play?”
“Pitcher.” His question had nothing to do with what happened to me, yet it had everything to do with my life. I knew this was one of his ways to learn more about me. When I first met Dr. Meyers we’d talked about the weather and so many other topics before she even asked me about that night.
After forty-five minutes of talking about baseball and the move from California, I got up and moved over to the window. Main Street in Lancaster bustled with late-day traffic. Cars waited in line to get through the red light. The torrential rain had slowed to a drizzle.
“Between now and the next time we meet, I would like for you to try an exercise.”
Exercise? Turning, I raised an eyebrow. He got to his feet, walked over to stand behind his cherry-wood desk, and set down his notepad. He had one hand in his pants pocket, and the other smoothing out his goatee. “Don’t worry. This won’t hurt a bit. I want you to play a game with a friend. It’s an icebreaker game.” He circled around his desk. “You tell your friend one thing that they don’t know about you, then you have them tell you one thing you don’t know about them. When we meet again, I want to hear how it went.” He met me at the window, both his hands in his pockets now.
“Wait. I don’t want anyone to know—”
“It doesn’t have to be about what happened to you. It can be anything. For example, I’ll tell you something about me. Then I want you to reciprocate. Fair enough?”
Dare to Kiss (The Maxwell Series Book 1) Page 14
