No one answered. I went in first. Coach Lee and Kade trailed behind me. When we reached my locker the door was cracked open.
Coach Lee examined the door before he touched it. I sat down on the bench, chewing on a nail. Kade ran his fingers through his hair as he watched Coach Lee.
“Looks like it’s been pried open,” Coach Lee said. As if in slow motion, he grasped the bottom edge of the door and opened it.
The blood drained from me. My effing bag was in my locker. Coach Lee turned to me with his shiny nose and wide eyes. Kade stared at me like I was some loony chick. If I could look at myself in the mirror right then, I’d bet I had the same expression as they did.
“Lacey,” Coach Lee’s voice was dry. “Are you certain your bag wasn’t in the locker all this time?”
I glared at the coach. I was not insane. I jumped to my feet. “I’m very certain.” I took two strides before reaching in to grab my bag.
Coach swung his gaze from me to Kade then back to me. “Get dressed. We have an hour left.” He stalked out.
I unzipped the bag. All my stuff was in it. I yanked out my yoga pants, T-shirt, socks and cleats. If Kade wanted to stay and watch, fine. I was getting my ass out on that field. I wasn’t going to analyze what had happened—not now, anyway. “You can leave,” I said in a rough tone. The buzzing and nerves still tormented me.
“Hey.” He closed the distance between us, wrapping his arms around me.
I planted my hands on his chest and pushed. “I don’t want to be coddled. I have to get out there.”
He didn’t move.
“Kade, not now. Please?” I was on the verge of tears. I did want his strong arms around me. I did want to lose myself in him. But right now, baseball was my goal.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered in my hair. “I’ll see you afterwards.” He let go of me and left.
I almost collapsed. Who the heck had done this? Aaron was outside. Someone was trying to make me look crazy. I changed as fast as I could then carried my bag out to the field with me.
I set it down in the right field dugout. I tucked my glove underneath my arm and met Coach Dean near home plate. I had my back to the stands as I waited for him to finish reading the paper on his clipboard. I didn’t have the courage to look up in the stands yet.
The recruits were running from first then sliding into second. Coach Lee took notes as each one hit the bag. Aaron, tall and lithe, ran up to Coach Dean. “Hi, Lacey. How are you?” he asked in a sugary tone as he narrowed his green eyes at me.
“What is it, Aaron?” Coach asked.
“Lacey needs to warm up and I thought I could catch for her while she does.” A sinister grin etched his smooth features. “Mark Wayland is still working through his running drills. And I know we don’t have that much time left.”
I glared at the cagey captain of the baseball team, keeping my breathing even. Tryouts first. Worry about who sabotaged your day later. If I did well in the short time we had left, then I might get to chalk up this tryout as a win. I was getting ahead of myself, but all I wanted to do was rip off Aaron’s head, and I didn’t even know for sure if he was the culprit.
“We’ll take batting practice. Lacey will pitch to batters. Everyone in.” Coach Dean’s voice boomed.
Everyone trotted in. I moved to stand near a few boys. I was now facing Coach and the spectators. I made the mistake of looking out. Tammy Reese sat with Greg Sullivan. Both had smug smiles on their faces as Greg waved to me. I ignored the oily-haired creep, and looked for Dad in the stands. He wasn’t there. I searched again. I found Kade in the same spot as I’d seen him earlier. He was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Kody sat next to him in the same position. They appeared to be in a heated discussion. Becca and Tyler sat next to Kody. They had their feet propped up on the bleachers in front of them, watching. Becca chewed on a nail. Tyler had his arms crossed over his chest. One more time I scanned the crowd as Kelton and Kross took up positions near me. No Dad. Worry and anger began to churn, but I quickly banked the emotions for now.
“Lacey, take the mound and warm up,” Coach Lee said. “Wayland, suit up. You’re catching.”
“What happened?” Kelton asked in my ear.
“Not now,” I replied as I headed to the mound.
Kross caught my arm. “You okay?”
I regarded both triplets, who had concerned expressions beneath the bills of their caps. All I did was nod as I continued to the mound.
Wayland, a stocky guy with red hair and freckles, jogged over to the right field dugout and wrapped shin guards around his legs, slipped on his chest protector, and grabbed his mask and glove before meeting me at the mound.
“Kross, center field,” Coach announced. “Kelton, take short. Aaron, third base. Finn, first base. Tim, second base. James, you’re in right field. And Taylor, take left. The rest of you in the dugout. Lacey, warm up,” Coach ordered. “Let’s go, people.”
Everyone scattered to their positions.
“Coach Lee is going to umpire,” Coach Dean went on. “Lacey, you’ll face two batters. Then we’ll rotate to the next pitcher.”
“I’m Mark Wayland. What pitches do you have?” he asked, holding his mask under his arm.
“Curveball, fastball, and slider.”
“I’ll call the pitches. To keep it simple, one finger for curveball, two fingers for fastball, and three for slider.” His gray eyes dulled in the fading sunlight. He patted me on the back with his mitt then handed me the ball.
Stepping on the mound, I dug at the dirt with my cleat to ensure the rubber was level with the dirt. I didn’t like divots in front of the mound like some pitchers did.
“Focus. Find your zone, and remember—in and tight,” Kelton advised as he walked past me.
The girls in the crowd shouted his name.
I inhaled, taking in the fresh scent of grass. The white noise in my head lowered. I didn’t think it would leave me now until I got through tryouts. I was fine with the humming sound. It might help me get in my zone.
“Seriously, are you okay?”
I liked this side of Kelton. Not that I wanted him to worry about me, but he was even more handsome when he was sincere.
More girls screamed his name.
What?” he asked innocently. “All girls want me.” He gave me one of those Maxwell grins.
I rolled my eyes. His sweetness was good while it lasted—all of two seconds. “What you need is a clear dose of reality,” I said in a serious tone.
“Those girls screaming my name is reality, Lacey. Now, let’s concentrate on what we’re here for.”
I didn’t argue. The lighthearted banter helped to calm me somewhat.
“Lacey, warm up,” Mark called from home plate.
I threw several pitches, loosening my arm. I rolled my shoulders after each pitch. The soreness wasn’t there. Maybe the adrenaline would keep the pain at bay.
“Let’s get the show started, folks,” Coach Dean called.
I can do this. I know this game. Find your zone. We want to win state. We need you on the team.
Renee Spellman made her way to the batter’s box, swinging the bat first in one hand, then the other.
The hum in my head turned into a loud roar. My hands began to perspire. I picked up the chalk bag with my pitching hand, massaging the white powder into my palm to dry the sweat. After a few swipes on my leg, I moved into position. Gripping the ball inside my glove, I felt around for the seams.
Coach Lee gave me a nod as Renee crouched into her batting stance. I sent up a prayer before looking down at Mark. He flashed one finger. Curveball. Nodding, I checked that the players on the field were ready. Satisfied, I wound up, going through my movements and snapped my wrist down. The ball left my hand with less velocity than that of a fas
tball. When thrown correctly, the spin of a curveball with a good follow through would hit the strike zone. This pitch was nowhere near the plate. Slow, follow through, and concentrate.
“Ball,” Coach Lee called out.
Mark shook his head, tamping down his palm, telling me to relax. Renee stepped out, taking a few more practice swings.
I got into position. I can do this.
When she set her stance, bat in hand, arms back, head turned toward me, she smiled with one corner of her mouth turned upward.
Suddenly, Julie’s face flashed before me. My pulse raced. I shook my head once, twice. She doesn’t look like Julie. I blew out a few puffs of air. She doesn’t look like Julie. Releasing one last breath, I glanced at Mark for his signal. Two fingers flashed. A fastball. I wound up. As my arm stretched out in the follow-through, I wavered. The ball soared over Coach Lee and Mark, hitting the backstop with a resounding thwack.
“Holy hell, girl,” Kelton ran up to me. “What’s wrong?”
Mark trotted out. “It’s okay. Nerves are normal. Find your zone.” He handed me the ball then resumed his position at home plate.
My zone. Where was it? I turned my neck left then right. Relaxing my shoulders, I set my stance, and looked to Mark for the pitch signal. When I looked back, Renee’s face morphed into Julie’s again. My brain tilted, and suddenly, darkness crept into my peripheral vision.
My phone lit my way through the house.
“Julie! Mom!”
Sweat began to bead on my forehead. A lamp in the living room was on the floor, the shade askew. Red splattered the white doorframe leading into the dining room. The only sound was the banging of my heart in my ears. As I skirted the dining table, something rolled under my foot. I wobbled. My hand shot out, searching for an anchor. Nothing. My feet flew out in front of me before I landed on my butt. I angled my phone light toward the floor. Lipstick and other items were strewn all over. Tears stung my eyes.
I rose on trembling legs, shuffling. “Mom! Julie!” I shouted again in a shaky voice.
As I neared the kitchen, a sweaty, metallic scent burned my nostrils. I walked through the arched doorway. A bloodcurdling scream tore from me. I dropped to my knees. The blood in my veins turned to ice. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. The phone fell from my hand. Dizziness clouded my brain. Nausea rose. Then darkness extinguished my consciousness.
Chapter 14
My brain registered voices in the distance as I slowly cracked open my eyelids. Wincing at the pain in my head, I pressed my fingers to my temple. An alarm blared and I jolted upright. “Make it stop!” I yelled, covering my ears.
Kade was sitting on my bed beside me. “Lace,” he said. “It’s okay.” His hands circled my wrists. “Hey, baby. It’s just the alarm on the medical monitor.” He turned. “Kel, get the nurse.”
“Turn it off,” I cried. The high-pitched sound drilled into me as though someone were hammering nails into my head.
“Kross,” Kade called. “Shut it off, now.”
The alarm died. Quiet reigned. I took comfort in the fact that my head didn’t have the constant drone of wasps. I slumped forward into Kade, my soft cheek against a hard-as-steel chest, and he wrapped his arms around me.
“What happened?” I asked as I stared at Kross, who was standing by the medical monitor. I looked down at my left hand. A white clothespin-like device was clipped onto my forefinger. “Why am I in the hospital?” I asked.
Kross dropped his gaze to his cleats. Oh, no. I didn’t have a panic attack on the field? No. No. No. Please don’t let it be true. Not in front of the school, Coach Dean, Becca, Tyler…and Kade, again. I’ll never be able to play now. The one place I loved was now officially my hell. How could I face anyone? They would look at me like I was crazy, and take pity on me. I had to get out of here. Run. Hide. My breathing was shallow. Tears dropped one after the other.
I pulled away from Kade. The weight of the world rested on his shoulders. I finally knew what Jackie from the gun club meant—he didn’t have the usual spark in his copper eyes that I was used to seeing. He had pity, sadness, despair, and sorrow. Please don’t feel sorry for me. It only served to worsen my own sorrow. I had to heal. That was one of the reasons I didn’t want people to know. I could barely deal with my own feelings.
“I need to get out of here. I need to find my dad.” I swung my legs off the side of the bed away from Kade.
“You can’t leave. You hit your head. You might have a concussion,” Kade said, his fingers lightly touching my forearm. “Your dad is on his way. And so is your…mom?”
I dropped my head and more tears fell onto my yoga pants. I stared at the dirt on my legs. He had to be talking about Mary. No one had met her yet.
“Please, Lace.” His tone was heavy with desperation.
“No. I can’t let anyone see me like this.”
He let go of my arm. The bed shifted. His boots thudded on the tile floor, and then Kade crouched down in front of me. He placed his hands on my thighs, looking up at me. “I’m not going anywhere. You can call hospital security and I still won’t leave.” He grinned. “You look beautiful covered in dirt.”
I reached out and touched his face. His eyes closed for a brief second. Why would he want anything to do with me? I was a complete mess. I threw my arms around his neck and cried. After a few minutes, he moved to sit next to me. I pulled away, mopping the tears soaking my face.
“Can I have some water?” My throat was parched.
“Kross?” Kade nodded at his brother, who was still standing near the medical monitor. Kross filled a cup with water on the side table then handed it to me.
“Thanks.” I sipped the water through a straw, letting the coolness of the liquid sit on my tongue for a few seconds before swallowing.
“You had one of your attacks, didn’t you?” Kade brushed back my hair.
“Yeah,” I said in a small voice.
A nurse came in with Kelton on her heels, the lights capturing the red streaks through her blond hair. Her nametag said “Lisa.” “Boys, please. Give her some breathing room. And what happened to the machine?” the petite lady in blue scrubs demanded.
“Sorry, the noise was bothering her,” Kade responded.
Going over to the monitor, she turned it on. “Okay, young man, out,” she said, patting Kross on the arm. “And you”—she pointed at Kade—“go with your brother. I’ll let you know when you can come back in.”
Kade kissed me on the forehead. “I’ll be outside.”
“I don’t want you to leave.” He gave me a sense of security that I needed at the moment.
Kade eyed the nurse and flashed one of his famous grins.
“All right. I’m a sucker for two people in love,” she said, batting her brown eyes our way.
Kade’s smile widened. I choked. My brain pounded against my skull, and not from my head injury. She thought we were in love? Yet the sexy half-smile on his face was trying to tell me something.
“Um…we’re not…” I couldn’t say the word.
Kade raised my hand to his mouth and planted his warm lips on my palm. Immediately, the pounding in my head lessened. Oh good grief! Did he agree with her? Or was he putting on a show so she would allow him to stay?
“You keep telling yourself that,” Lisa said as she pressed a few buttons on the monitor. “Anyway, he can stay. Everyone else has to leave.” She shot a glare at Kelton and Kross.
Both were standing in the doorway. Kross had a wide-eyed expression while Kelton had one of his sinful smirks.
A beeping noise filled the room as the machine came back online. The sound was a quiet hum now.
“Do not touch the monitor again.” Lisa narrowed her eyes at Kade while adjusting the clothespin device on my finger. “Leave this oximeter on, too.” She eyed me. “
The doctor will be in shortly.” She headed to the door, pointing at Kelton and Kross. “You two—out.”
The door closed behind her, leaving Kade and me alone. We stared at each other.
“Tell me what happened,” I said, clasping my hands together.
“You were standing on the mound, staring down at home plate like you were frozen. Just like that night at your house.” He rubbed my hand with his thumb. “Then you fell forward. Your head hit the ground, hard. I bolted out of my seat. By the time I got down onto the field, Coach Dean was checking your vitals. I had a feeling you had one of your attacks. Anyway, Coach called the paramedics.” He pried my hands apart then held my right hand. “I called your house and your mom answered. I told her what happened. She said she would call your dad. He was in Boston. She didn’t have a car. So I asked Kody to go and get her.”
I lowered my gaze to my dirty pants again. I didn’t know how to process this screwed-up day. When I went back to school, kids would look at me differently. I would now be the brunt of all jokes, especially after the incident where my bag went missing. Oh, my God. People were going to think I was crazy for sure. I had to shove that aside for now. Kade deserved to know about my mom and Julie. He’d seen me in my worst state. I couldn’t keep having attacks around Kade and not tell him why. Dr. Davis had said that if Kade knew the triggers, he might be able to help. But what could he have done today? He didn’t know that when I looked at Renee, I saw my sister. Plus he’d been in the stands and nowhere near me to help, not like he had been at the house when he first saw one of my panic attacks.
He curled his fingers under my chin. “Look at me, baby. Talk to me. Please.” The anguish in his voice brought tears to my eyes.
Slowly, I lifted my eyes to his. “I’m broken, Kade.” A tear rolled down my cheek.
“Hey, we’re all broken.” He was still caressing my palm.
Dare to Kiss (The Maxwell Series Book 1) Page 20
