Compass

by Jeanne McDonald

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance of actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  Copyright © 2015 Jeanne McDonald

  All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author.

  Visit the author’s website at http://www.jeannemcdonald.com

  First Edition: November 2015

  Edited by: Amy Gamache of Rose David Editing

  Cover Design by: Jada D’Lee Designs

  Interior Formatting by: Lindsey Gray Formatting Services

  Cover images by: Felix Pergande, Sergey Yarochkin , and ratkom

  For Katy

  Thank you for all the late night Monopoly games and drunken IHOP runs, but most of all, thank you for believing in me when I didn’t even believe in myself.

  “We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place the first time.” ~ T.S. Elliot

  Title

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  The hideous stench of blood, smoke, and burnt flesh siphoned all of the fresh air from the lower half of the hospital. Gurneys were pushed in by the droves. The halls were lined with injured and mangled bodies perched on bleached cotton linens, screaming in agony and despair. The pale stains of tears mixed with blood splattered the usually white walls of the facility.

  Total chaos erupted in the emergency room. Orders were shouted from every direction but they were mere noise in a sea of panic.

  Being the closest hospital to the wreckage site, Agape Medical Center was the first location to receive survivors. All available staff members ─no matter their specialty─ were summoned to assist with the overflow.

  There was no way anyone could be prepared for a disaster of this magnitude. Sure, every healthcare professional trains to be prepared, but being faced with the actual carnage of a plane crash wasn’t something that anyone could truly be ready for.

  Fear gripped Doctor Alexis York as she entered the ER and observed the carnage. Her heart weighed heavy in her chest and the threat of tears burned the back of her eyes. The moment she heard the news, she could only think of one thing. Him.

  Every step she took carried his name. Each breath expelled from her lungs ached as a reminder of him. Face after face passed by her in a blur, but none were that of the face she longed to see. She searched through a field of bodies aching to know he was all right. The smell of death was all around her, and yet there was only one thing on her mind.

  Finding him.

  A twinge of terror physically struck the young doctor to her core while she slinked through the crowd. The rhythm of her heart slowed down, as the world seemed to drift around her. No words could be heard, even though her mind registered the shouts of those in her vicinity. Dizziness set in as she tried to comprehend her surroundings. He had to be there. Somewhere.

  It was her job, her duty to find him.

  The image of his face and smile was at the forefront of her mind. All she could hear was the sound of his voice breathing her name. His memory lingered in the very depths of her soul, and though her mind tickled with dread, her heart refused to believe the worst. Giving up wasn’t an option. Not this time. Too much was at stake, and her heart couldn’t take losing him. Not again.

  She gritted her teeth, sucked in a breath so deep it stretched her ribs, and forced her body into action. No matter what, she’d find him. Even if it was the very last thing she did.

  A tall, lanky boy, practically a man, meandered across the street. From behind dark sunglasses, the bathing beauty honed in on his unique swagger. She fought the urge to smirk when, in his usual thoughtless habit, he lifted the faded ball cap that perched on his head to swipe his dark colored hair away from his brow. A smile teased the corner of his lips sending her heart into spasms.

  Her long, lean legs bounced anxiously, as they always did, against the peeling white paint of the rickety porch swing. Her long brown hair fluttered softly in the gentle breeze. She rocked back and forth, her feet planted on the wood slats of the stoop.

  “Sunbathing, York?”

  Alexis York’s eyes focused on the lean figure shadowed over her. She pushed her sunglasses down her nose and glared up at him. The sunlight shined around his body, making him look as if he were on fire.

  Fitting, she thought, he’s practically a heavenly being after all.

  “Yeah, I am. And you’re a great sunblock. So, get your scrawny ass out of my sunlight.”

  Ryan Fisher gasped in mock offense. He turned to look at his backside, much like a cat would when chasing its own tail. “How dare you call this fine ass scrawny? I’ll have you know, I work impeccably hard to keep this ass in shape.”

  She impatiently waved him away. “I hardly call sitting in front of the T.V. playing video games hard work. Now move it.”

  Ryan and Alexis were the best of friends. They had basically known each other since birth. Their parents lived across the street from each other for as long as they could both remember. But things change. Life has a way of transforming and ripping people apart, and now, after sixteen years of watching the boy next door, she would be alone.

  Only two years earlier she was happy, carefree, with the world at her feet. Now, she watched as movers carried boxes out of the only home she’d ever known, preparing her and her mother to move to a huge city, hundreds of miles away from everything that mattered to her, including Ryan.

  Ryan laughed as he plopped down beside her. “Man, you’re grouchy when you don’t get your way.”

  Alexis slightly turned her head to see the handsome young man gazing back at her. She loved and hated the smile he had on his face. It burned a hole into her memory, leaving an ache in her soul. She longed to tell her best friend that she harbored feelings for him, that she loved him beyond their cherished friendship, but she couldn’t bring herself to utter the words.

  Things were different now. She was moving to New York. He was staying in Edenton. Even if she thought there was a chance he felt the same for her, which she knew he didn’t, she couldn’t bring herself to tell him. It was too late.

  “I’m sleep deprived. Someone was throwing rocks at my window at two in the morning. Can you believe some psycho wanted me to get out of my warm, comfy bed to watch a moon turn red?”

  Alexis stretched her legs to their full length. She linked her fingers behind her neck and cut her eyes at Ryan. Heat flooded his cheeks, turning them almost as red as that damned moon she sat on the roof of her house to look at with him hours earlier.

  Ryan shrugged a shoulder. Alexis could hear him swallow and she reveled the way he squirmed u
nder her scrutinous stare. “You didn’t have to watch with me.”

  She reached out and smacked his knee. “You know better. Besides, it’s probably the last time we’ll ever get to do that.” Sorrow filled her tone.

  Ryan lifted his sea green eyes, his bushy black brows pulled together. “Lex─”

  A large man, carrying a television out of the house passed by, right as Alexis kicked her foot out toward Ryan, stopping him from saying anything that might break her heart. She and Ryan had already promised no goodbyes, and she could see the words forming behind those magnificent eyes.

  “Ow!” Ryan reached down and rubbed his ankle. “What was that for?”

  Alexis nodded toward the sweaty man, removing her belongings from her house. “That was my nice way of saying, ‘Shut your pie hole, Fisher!’ I don’t need someone tattling to my mom about us sneaking out of the house this morning. Geez!”

  “You didn’t have to kick me!” he mewled.

  “Oh, suck it up.”

  An evil glint sparkled in his eyes. He pulled off his ball cap and tossed it to the porch. “You’ll pay for that one, York!”

  Ryan shifted forward, ready to pounce his friend when the same mover returned to the porch. The sweaty man chuckled and muttered something about “young love”.

  The two teenagers pulled apart from one another. Ryan crossed his arms over his chest and Alexis felt her heart thundering in hers. She tried to play off her feelings by producing the most childish of grimaces and then stuck out her tongue at the stranger. Ryan immediately laughed at her response.

  The glorious chime of his laughter filled her soul to the brim and ripped her heart to shreds. She’d miss that laugh. She’d miss this boy. The strange yet intuitive moving guy had nailed her feelings and that bothered her. Not that she was ashamed of her feelings. Had she thought he felt the same, she would’ve...well, she wasn’t sure what she would’ve done. Alexis and Ryan were from different circles in school, and yet because of their relationship, those circles always seemed to mix well. Alexis was popular, a cheerleader, and Ryan was the sort of nerdy boy who loved to read, enjoyed science, but most of all lived for the world in the skies. He had an unusual obsession with planes, one that both excited and scared Alexis. The thought of flying terrified her. Not that she’d ever admit that to him. Never in a million years would she tell him her greatest fear was his greatest passion. It was a moot point, anyway, because Ryan’s fascination instilled a love for planes in her that confused her logical nature.

  Alexis blamed her love of music for her fear. Musicians and planes didn’t mix well. Until recently, it had been her dream to become a famous singer. She loved the stage, she loved to sing, and she loved to dance. But that dream shattered the day her baby sister, Cora, passed away. It was that day she decided to become a doctor instead of pursuing her dream in the arts. It was that day where her family fell apart and set the events she now faced into motion.

  Alexis dared a glance at Ryan. Long days at the beach together had left its golden evidence on his darkened skin. Thick black eyebrows shadowed the most glorious green eyes. He was kind of scrawny, slender, and boney, unlike the usual guys who attempted to date her, but she liked that about him. His long, thin frame was simply who he was. Evidence of potential muscle could be seen in his arms and legs, but then again, he was so skinny that any muscle mass would be visible under his skin. Her lips twitched at the thought of this limbs wrapped around her, cuddled against her best friend. That, above all else, she would miss.

  “So, are you ready for tomorrow?” Ryan asked, producing a box of Cracker Jack out of thin air. He ripped the box top open and offered her a piece. Alexis willingly accepted, extracting several kernels of popcorn from inside the box. She tossed a piece in her mouth, savoring the flavor of the caramel goodness.

  Cracker Jack was their snack of choice. Ryan had a sweet tooth that would drive any dentist insane. How he had that perfect beautiful smile was a miracle to say the least. He always had some sort of candy at hand, and a box of Cracker Jack always made his day.

  He had the quirkiest ritual about the toy in the box, one to which Alexis abided by religiously. The box had to be empty before they would reveal the toy. He always said it was bad luck to see the toy beforehand.

  Alexis released a heavy sigh.

  “I’m packed.” She jerked her head toward the movers escorting boxes out the door. “I guess you could call that ready.” She popped another piece of popcorn in her mouth.

  Ryan dug around inside the box searching for a peanut. His tongue pushed out of his mouth, angled toward his nose, as if he were deep in concentration. His eyes lit up when he found the nutty treat he had been craving.

  “You know, you could stay for one more year. I bet your dad wouldn’t mind.” Ryan nibbled on the peanut, savoring it.

  Alexis felt her stomach sour at the thought. Staying with her dad wasn’t an option. It was his fault this was happening to her. Had he not cheated on her mom then she wouldn’t be forced to make a choice between them. No, New York was her future and Edenton was her past. A past that she wanted to cling to simply because it held Ryan. Moving to New York meant she would be alone, and being without Ryan scared her more than anything.

  “You know I can’t do that,” she admitted.

  “Yeah,” he mumbled. “It was just a thought.”

  Alexis dusted the remainder of sugar off her hands. “Can I tell you a secret?”

  Ryan popped another kernel in his mouth. “You know you can tell me anything.” His tongue darted out over his smooth lips. Alexis removed her sunglasses needing to see him clearly. A small breath stopped in her chest when their eyes met. Sincerity. Safety. Love. She could see it all in his gaze.

  Locked in his patient stare, she swallowed. Nothing was said, which was Ryan’s way. He never pushed her. He was always willing to wait for her to come around in her own time. She took in a deep breath, sucked in her bottom lip, and then exhaled. “I won’t know anyone there.”

  Ryan put the box down on the porch at his feet, took her by the shoulders, and turned her to face him.

  “Listen, Lex, you’re smart, you’re funny, and you’re beautiful. You’ll make more friends than you’ll know what to do with. And Edenton, along with everything in it,” the sound of his voice dropped to a mere whisper, sorrow filling his tone, “will become nothing more than a dream of the past.” Her heart pounded in her chest at his mere touch. The smell of his skin was intoxicating, infiltrating her mind. Where his fingers held her shoulders, she burned with the most beautiful ache. She’d lose this. She’d lose him, and the thought of losing him to someone new ripped her insides to shreds.

  Alexis swallowed back the pain of losing him and rested her mind on the present. Ryan had called her beautiful. She stared into his deep green eyes and felt the heat rise up her face. His eyes were gentle and his expression sincere. Alexis tilted her head as his hand slowly pushed her hair back from her eyes.

  “You think I’m beautiful?” she whispered.

  His hand drifted down her cheek, cradling her face. The soft glow of the sun bounced off of his deep chocolate locks, reflecting beautiful shades of black, mahogany, and a hint of blue. The smell of his skin tickled her senses the closer they drew to each other.

  “Of course I do. I’ve always thought you were beautiful.”

  The world seemed to be moving in slow motion. With each tender caress of his thumb over her cheek, her pulse skyrocketed. It felt so good to have him touch her with such intimacy. Alexis wanted to pinch herself because she knew she had to be dreaming.

  Alexis bit her lip, nervous tension dampening her palms. Their eyes locked together, neither blinking as their faces inched closer. His thumb tugged her lip from between her teeth and she let out a deep breath.

  After all these years of thinking that her feelings of love weren’t reciprocated, of thinking they would never be more than best friends, to suddenly find herself with him, in an intimate moment such as this, was
surreal. Alexis closed her eyes in anticipation of his smooth lips finally touching hers. She waited and waited, but the kiss never came. She opened her eyes to find him staring at her. His lips flattened in a straight line. His face twitched, and his eyes closed for a fraction of a second. Alexis knew that everything she thought was about to happen had been her imagination.

  Unrequited love would remain as such.

  Ryan pressed his lips against Alexis’ forehead. In an instant, her heart sank in her chest. She heard him let out a deep breath as he released her face. She bit her lip again, but this time it was to keep it from trembling. She pulled away, unable to meet his gaze. How silly she’d been to think Ryan would see her as more than his best friend. He’d never showed interest in her that way. He’d always treated her more like a sister than anything else. He protected her honor. When the boys in school flocked to her, he came to her rescue, slaying the rumor mills that often occured with pretty girls in small towns.

  Alexis swallowed down the ache that tightened her throat and leaned against the back of the swing. She looked up into the sky, letting the sun hide the tears that were threatening to escape.

  “Lex,” he rasped.

  She shook her head slightly, determined not to show him that she was hurt by his blatant rejection. She hated herself for getting lost in the moment. She had always known he didn’t see her as anything more than a friend and this only proved her hypothesis.

  “You’re probably right,” she croaked. “It’s New York City. That place is crawling with people. I’ll make new friends in no time.”

  Ryan tilted his ball cap forward, crossing his arms over his chest as he kicked the swing into action. “No doubt about it.”

  Yeah, she meant that to sting a little. And from his reaction it bit him hard.

  They lapsed into a lingering silence, neither daring to speak.

  Out of nowhere, Alexis kicked out her leg, driving it into Ryan’s ankle. He popped his cap back, glaring at her. “What was that for!” he screeched.