Compass

by Jeanne McDonald

  Laughter bubbled in her throat. “You know you could’ve Facebooked me.”

  Ryan let out a groan. “I didn’t even think of that.”

  “Give me your phone.” He did as he was told. Alexis entered her phone number in his contact list. Before returning his phone to him, she quickly made a call to herself so she’d have his number as well. “Better?”

  He stood there, his eyes fixated on the phone in his hand. A sudden smile appeared on his lips that spread warmth throughout her body. “Much. Now, how do you take your coffee?”

  She hopped up on the counter and snapped up the caramel macchiato. He nodded once. “Noted.”

  “Upside down, extra caramel and an extra shot, if you’re taking notes for the future.”

  He curled his lips in concentration, his eyes squinted, before a smile formed and he gave her a thumbs up. “I’ll never forget. Now,” he picked up the plate with the cold pizza, “breakfast for frat guys, really?”

  She lifted a shoulder in a half shrug. “A girl’s gotta eat.”

  He dropped the plate back on the counter, shoving it aside. “Yeah. No.” He waved his hand over the baked goods. “Help yourself. We have cinnamon rolls, croissants, bagels…”

  “You got a cheese danish in that mess?” she asked, cutting him off.

  He slipped the requested pastry from the bag, handing it to her. “Some things never change.”

  A soft moan rumbled in her chest as she took a bite. “All depends.” She covered her mouth with the back of her hand, swallowing down her food. “Do you have an apple fritter in that bag?” Her head nodded toward the sack with a cocky smirk.

  Shifting his eyes, Ryan reached into the bag, extracting a large doughnut. She pointed her index finger at him, howling. “I knew it!”

  Ryan dug his teeth into the fritter, ripping into its doughy flesh. “So good,” came his muffled retort.

  She popped the splash stick from the mouth of her coffee cup, and took a sip. “Thank you for this. I didn’t expect you to come back this morning.”

  “I was in the neighborhood,” he teased.

  “You’re a nut.”

  “I know it. Sorry for interrupting your call with your dad, though. I would’ve called…” he tapped his phone and shrugged.

  “No big deal. He’s determined I come over today.”

  “And you don’t want to go?”

  “Not particularly.” She finished off her danish and washed it down with a large gulp of her coffee. She made a mental note that Ryan went for the latte, although something told her he would’ve preferred the caramel coated coffee if given the chance. “But it doesn’t matter, because Dad’ll come get me whether or not I want to go.”

  Ryan stuffed another bite in his mouth. Alexis caught herself watching the way his jaw moved as he chewed─slow, steady, savoring every single bite. Her breath hitched, mesmerized by his lips. “What if I take you?” The corner of his mouth lifted, leaving her almost speechless.

  “Um,” she rubbed the back of her neck, kicking her feet. “Thanks, but you wouldn’t want to spend the day with my Dad and his family.” Her heart sank as the words tumbled from her mouth. How she would love to spend the day with Ryan. Damn her father for ruining yet another moment in her life. To make it worse, Ryan scowled, his jaw jutting out. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes dropping from the whirlwind of emotions that twisted over his face.

  He let out a heavy breath, taking a deep swig of his coffee. “It’d give you a reason to leave whenever you want. And besides, it’s been years since I’ve seen Miles.” A feeble smile graced his lips. “And Kellie. It is Kellie, right?”

  “Yeah,” she muttered, a sneer to her pitch.

  “How’s she doing?” Ryan dared to ask.

  Alexis slumped her shoulders, resting her hands on the countertop. “Good, I guess. I don’t talk to her much. When I call, I talk to Dad or Henry.”

  Ryan tilted his head, his brows drawing together. “Henry?”

  Her mouth twitched. “He’s my brother.” Her almost smile turned into a frown. “Well, half-brother.”

  Ryan licked his fingers clean. She was captivated, once again, by his mouth. The intensity building inside her grew worse when he placed his hand on her knee. “I know that has to hurt. Cora was such an important part of your life. Our lives. She can’t be replaced.”

  Alexis hesitated for a moment before placing her hand on top of his. His warmth penetrated her nylon pants, burning through to her skin, igniting a need deep in her belly. The urge was unexpected and intense. She blinked her eyes trying to wipe away the feeling that ripped through her.

  It’s Ryan, she reminded herself. You remember. Boy next door. Childhood best friend.

  But none of that mattered. The need she had for him liquidated her from the inside. She wanted him and that thought alone scared her. Men were dangerous. Even the good ones could rip a heart to shreds.

  But it’s Ryan!

  Cursing herself, she hopped down from the counter, forcing him to release her. “Henry’s a good kid. I think you’d like him.”

  Even putting distance between them didn’t stop the memory of his touch from plaguing her. She craved to feel his strength, the warmth of his body pressed against hers. And that endearing look on his sweet face didn’t help. Desire mounted in her.

  “Then it’s settled. I’ll run home, change, and escort you to your father’s house.”

  Alexis thrust her fingers through her tresses. “Gah. All the men in my life are so damn pushy.”

  Ryan puffed out his chest. A magical laugh flowed from his lips. “I’m a man in your life, huh?”

  She shoved her hair back from her face, ready to pop off some snarky remark, but Ryan caught her hand. He pulled their tangled fingers to his chest, his free hand wrapping a lock of her hair around his finger. “I’m happy to be a man in your life.” The seriousness that coated his tone ripped to her core. She gazed into those deep green eyes, relishing the feel of his fingers slipping through her long locks. “No arguments. Go get dressed and I’ll be back soon.”

  She nodded, breathless. “Okay.” Without thinking, she moved to clean up their breakfast remains.

  His fingers gripped her shoulders. The heat of his skin started to sizzle through the thin material of her shirt. “Don’t worry about this. Go get ready. I’ll clean it up and let myself out. Call Miles and tell him we’re coming.”

  Ryan pressed a kiss to her forehead, his lips lingered against her skin long enough to make her shiver with burning fervor. A soft sigh whispered from her lips as his mouth brushed across her brow. Her mind was mush, a jumble of incoherent thoughts. “Okay,” she repeated, stepping back from him.

  Dangerous. So dangerous.

  She forced air from her lungs. Her heart hammered in her chest. It didn’t matter that it was Ryan, the boy who once knew her better than she did herself, because he wasn’t that boy anymore. He was a man, with a life, experience, and that meant he could hurt her. Turning away from him, she bit the inside of her mouth, fighting the ache in her chest.

  Friends. We’re friends, she chanted.

  Upstairs, she shot her father a message letting him know she was coming and bringing a friend. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Ryan meeting her extended family, but it didn’t matter now, because it was about to happen. A little nervous, she sifted through her limited wardrobe to find something appropriate that didn’t include sweat pants or a pair of scrubs.

  Damn me and my last minute moving. She tossed a shirt over her shoulder. I hate when my mother’s right.

  Moments later, she heard the front door close. Only then did her body relax. Out of options, she grabbed a pair of jeans and the only blouse she’d brought with her, putting them on. She tucked the front of her purple button-down into her denims and slid on the only pair of heels she’d shoved into her bag. Once her makeup and hair were done, she gave herself a once over in the mirror. Palms sweating, heart pounding, her throat tight; she
thought she might lose it. She shook out her hands, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

  It’s just dinner. Family. A Friend. Nothing to worry about.

  She scrubbed her hands over her face. Yeah right.

  The whole ride to her father’s home had been intense. Ryan reappeared at her apartment, not only looking like he belonged on a runway but also smelling of that woodsy cologne she couldn’t get out of her head. His black oxford shirt and gray slacks left her feeling completely underdressed, but she knew her father would approve of Ryan’s appearance.

  They arrived at the home of Miles and Kellie York, laughing and smiling, but there was an intense buzz that hummed between them. Every time he touched her, she felt as though her whole body would ignite into flames. And he seemed to touch her quite often. Things got awkward for a moment when she mentioned his prior evening with Reagan. He admitted to having gone home instead of to his friend’s place. She’d never felt so relieved before, but then mentally kicked herself for having such a reaction. She and Ryan were only friends. He could spend time with anyone he wanted to.

  As per usual, Ryan was determined to be the gentleman. He opened the car door for her and led her to the porch with her arm tucked in the crook of his. “This place is amazing,” Ryan whispered in awe. “How long have they lived here?”

  She rang the doorbell, her brow scrunched. “They moved in a few months after Henry was born. So, going on twelve years, I’d say.” The house was magnificent. Another reason why she struggled spending time with her father’s family. She’d loved her little home back in Edenton, but it was nothing like the castle style house her father lived in now, and definitely nothing like the small two-bedroom apartment she and her mother lived in after moving to New York. Four bedrooms, one of which she knew was still made up for her, made this house the perfect family home. A family she hardly felt apart of.

  “I got it, Dad!” they heard a young, male voice coming from behind the door as it flung open.

  A young boy beamed at them. His dark hair was combed to the side, almost too perfect. His smile was covered in metal braces and freckles speckled his face. Piercing blue eyes shone behind wire-framed glasses. Henry had grown a good foot since the last time Alexis had seen him, making him almost as tall as she was. She chided herself for not visiting more often. Henry was a good kid, smart, energetic, and most of all, her little brother.

  He shouldn’t have to pay for the sins of our father. In that moment, she made a promise to herself to be more involved with Henry’s life now that she lived closer. It’s what she would’ve done for her sister.

  “Lexi!” he exclaimed, throwing his arms around Alexis’ neck. She rocked him back and forth, hugging him just as tight. “Hey, Henry. How’s my favorite brother?”

  He stepped back, glancing at Ryan, but didn’t skip a beat. “I made first chair. Did Dad tell you?” Henry played the cello. He was almost as obsessed with music as Ryan had been with planes when they were kids. His passion for music reminded her much of herself when she was his age. Singing was everything to her back then. She had a journal full of songs she’d written over the years, but once she started medical school that journal was put aside for her new passion ─ oncology.

  “That’s fantastic! You’ll have to play something for us while we’re here.”

  Alexis and Ryan stepped inside the house. Henry closed the door and clasped his sister’s hand. “Anything you want. I can even play a few rock songs now. I’ve been practicing. I’m not as good as 2Cellos, but I will be. Just watch me.”

  She ruffled his hair, laughing. “You’ll be better.”

  “Lexi,” Miles’ gruff voice reverberated against the elaborate decor of the home. His blue eyes sparkled. Wrinkles cut into the skin around his eyes, mouth, and forehead. His light blond hair, peppered with gray, was combed almost exactly like his son’s. Tucked to his side was Kellie. Her jet black curls were tied at the back of her neck, and her slender frame was sheathed in a designer dress that would fool anyone into believing this woman was a lady. Almost anyone.

  I don’t know of any hospice nurse who could afford Marc Jacobs. Lucky she found herself a goldmine.

  Alexis often resented the fact her mother never forced her father to help them after they moved to New York. He owed them, but her mother was too proud. Now, she understood why her mother didn’t want his help, and respected her all the more for her strength and courage.

  “Dad. Kellie,” she greeted them. “You remember Ryan…”

  “Fisher,” Miles finished for her. “I wondered who Alexis might’ve already befriended here.” He reached out and shook hands with Ryan. “It’s been too long.”

  “Far too long, sir.”

  “Come, c’mon in. Welcome to our home,” Miles urged them. They followed Miles and Kellie to the sitting room. Alexis couldn’t stop the smile that flattered her lips as Henry slipped his hand in hers. She felt content and slightly confused, because on her other side was Ryan, holding her in the same manner her father held Kellie. Like a prized possession. A treasure of sorts.

  Seated, Miles slung his arm over the headrest of the loveseat, pressed in close to Kellie. Ryan and Henry sandwiched Alexis on the couch. She crossed her legs, hating that she was underdressed. Even Henry wore khakis and a collared shirt.

  Poor kid. I bet he doesn’t own a single t-shirt thanks to his pretentious mother. I’m going to have to rectify that.

  The thought of defiance brought a soft chuckle to her throat. Ryan leaned in. “What’s so funny?”

  The way his lips ghosted over her ear sent her body into overdrive. Intense heat boiled under her skin. She shifted, hoping a little distance might alleviate the issue, but if she scooted over any further she’d be sitting on Henry. That left limited room for adjustment. “I’ll tell you later,” she rasped.

  “You better.”

  She gulped hard.

  “So, Ryan, what’ve you been doing with yourself?” Miles unknowingly interrupted the moment between Alexis and Ryan.

  “I’m a pilot, sir.”

  Miles clapped his hands together, a look of pride exploded over his face. “You did it! I’m so proud of you. It’s a wonderful thing to accomplish one’s dream.”

  “Thank you. That’s actually how I found your daughter.” Ryan cut his eyes to Alexis, his lips quirking into a grin. “She caused trouble on my flight yesterday.”

  “Did not!” she exclaimed, smacking him on the knee. “But that flight attendant of yours needs to be schooled in good customer service.”

  Ryan dropped his chin to his chest, laughing. “I’ll make sure the captain addresses that the next time we fly together.”

  Kellie stroked Miles’ leg. “What a wonderful reunion. And so befitting of you two. I remember when you two were kids and all you talked about were planes.”

  Alexis jerked her head in Kellie’s direction, daggers shot from her eyes. How dare she talk about our lives before she destroyed them!

  Miles stiffened, perched forward, as Henry shrank back. Ryan reached out, taking her hand. Her murderous impulses calmed, but the fluttering of her heart ensued. This man was going to be the death of her. “It was a reunion meant for storybooks,” Ryan stated, his voice smooth and comforting.

  Miles pressed a kiss to Kellie’s temple. “If you’ll excuse me for a second. I need to check on dinner.” He stood and flicked two fingers to his daughter. “Alexis, how ‘bout you help me.”

  She knew he meant business. The only time her father ever called her Alexis was when she was in trouble. She gave Henry’s hand a quick squeeze and Ryan a wink, before she lifted herself from the couch. With her head held high, she followed Miles down the hall.

  Miles turned on her the instant they entered the kitchen. “What the hell was that?”

  Alexis skirted around her father, moving to check the pots on the stove. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “I saw your reaction to Kellie. Had Ryan not stopped you…” He balled his fist
s at his side, gritting his teeth. “You have no right to treat her like that. She’s my wife, and your stepmother. You’ll treat her with respect.”

  “Trust me, I know she’s your wife,” Alexis sneered.

  “Lexi, I get it. You blame me for whatever,” he waved his hand flippantly, “but…”

  Alexis pivoted on her heel, facing her father. “Whatever? Whatever? You have no idea what I feel for you, Dad. You never cared to know.”

  Miles rubbed his hands over his face, letting out a huff of frustration. “Do you really think I’m that blind? I know you blame me for every bad thing that’s happened in your life, down to your sister’s death.”

  “Don’t you dare talk about Cora!” Tears burned behind her eyes.

  “She’s my daughter, Lexi. I still ache everyday over her loss.”

  “Bullshit! You don’t miss her. You were too busy playing fuck-a-nurse with the woman who was supposed to help her.”

  “I fell in love. That’s not a sin.”

  “It is when you’re already married to someone else. It is when you tear a family apart for that love,” she snarled. She sucked in air, forcing back hot tears. He didn’t deserve them.

  “Grow up, Alexis. You’re thirty-one years old. That happened fifteen years ago. Get over it and move on.”

  Alexis threw her hands in the air. “Where do you get off telling me to grow up?”

  Miles rushed his fingers through his hair, disheveling its perfect part. “The day will come, young lady, that a man will sweep you off your feet, and then you’ll understand how I feel for Kellie. I loved your mother, but what we had was a wonderful friendship. My soul didn’t burn for her like it should’ve. Your mother understood that, and so should you.”

  Alexis growled, turning her back on her father. If he only knew the yearning inside her, but thanks to him, the fear that overpowered it was stifling. She couldn’t allow herself to ever feel the misery she watched her mother endure. She’d never give into the temptation to openly love someone. Not for them to shove that love back in her face. Love was fragile, always teetering on the edge of destruction. She couldn’t trust anyone, ever.