Compass

by Jeanne McDonald

  “See. Everything’s going to be okay,” Reagan claimed around a mouthful of breakfast burrito. Never in his life had he seen a woman that could eat like Reagan could. She inhaled food like it was air and still managed to keep a trim body. Of course, he knew that was because of her daily ten-mile runs. The woman was a machine, and when he needed it, she was a great workout partner.

  “No,” Ryan sighed. “She’s pretty pissed and she should be.” Ryan bit into his egg, bacon, and cheese burrito, thinking about how he should’ve been at The Kitchen Door with Alexis enjoying waffles or a cheeseburger at that moment.

  “She’ll get over it, Fisher,” Declan noted, chowing down on a tater tot. “I told you. She needs time. You practically called her a slut, after all.”

  Reagan choked on her coffee, swallowing hard. “No. He didn’t.”

  “Fuck, yeah, he did.” Declan almost sounded proud. “So she threw it back in his face by claiming to have had sex with me.”

  “Ohhh, she went below the belt,” Reagan chortled.

  “Literally,” Declan added.

  “Figuratively,” Ryan corrected in a mumble. It wasn’t like Alexis had actually slept with Declan.

  Thank God! I would’ve ripped his dick off and sliced it up for sandwich meat.

  “I really need to meet this woman.” Reagan turned to Ryan. “Which, by the way, when is that going to happen? If it wasn’t for Deck, I’d think she was a figment of your imagination.” She stuffed her mouth full of burrito, grinning around the overstuffed tortilla.

  “Oh my God! Not you, too,” Ryan groaned, as he dropped his food on the foil paper it’d been wrapped in.

  “Not me, too?” she questioned. “You mean she wants to meet me?” A smile dangled at the corner of her lips.

  “She knows Ryan fucked you,” came Declan’s muffled response through his mouthful of food.

  Reagan jerked her head in Ryan’s direction. Her mouth went slack. “Are you kidding me? She knows about that?” She blew a strand of golden brown hair from her eyes, glaring at Ryan. “Why would you tell her something like that? Geez, Flyboy. Did you go stupid or something?” She touched her fingers to her temple before flinging out her hand in a disbelieving salute.

  Ryan slumped in his seat. “She figured it out on her own,” he admitted.

  Reagan smacked her hand over her face. “No wonder she’s pissed at you. You go around accusing her of sleeping with Declan but she knows you’ve slept with me. I thought you were smarter than that.”

  “That’s what I told him,” Declan inserted.

  “Is that why you haven’t made a move on her?” Reagan inquired, slathering picante sauce on her next bite. She tore into the burrito, smacking her lips.

  “It’s complicated.” Ryan pushed his food away, not feeling all that hungry.

  “Complicated? Is that code that you’re being some kind of pussy?” She tore open another package of salsa with her teeth. “It’s easy. You simply ask her out,” Reagan supplied.

  Declan let out a laugh, not bothering to cover his mouthful of food. “That’s what I said. I told him to shit or get off the pot.”

  Reagan pointed over at Declan. “I hate to admit it, because let’s face it, this man isn’t all that bright─”

  “Hey!” Declan objected.

  “─But he’s right,” she continued. “You obviously have feelings for her. You should ask her out.” She pursed her lips, raising her brows. “Unless our time together was so magical that I ruined you for every other woman in the world. ‘Cause if that’s the case, I’m pretty horny right now and could use a romp in the sack.” She blew kisses and waggled her brows at him.

  Ryan’s already plastered scowl dropped even further. “You know better, Ray.”

  She shrugged, grabbing her burrito, using it as a visual aid. “Oh, c’mon. You have to remember me doing this.”

  Declan’s mouth fell open and his eyes widened. “Holy shit,” he hissed.

  “I remember all too well what happened between us.” Ryan grabbed her by the hand, stopping her. “And the answer’s still no.”

  Reagan pulled away from him, tilting her head in a half-hearted shrug. “Your loss.” She poured sauce over her burrito and took another bite.

  “What about Declan? He seems interested,” Ryan quipped, nodding toward Declan.

  “Oh fuck no!” Reagan and Declan shouted in unison.

  They both looked at each other and laughed. “I don’t care to dip my dick in acid,” Declan stated.

  “And I have a little more respect for myself than to fuck the walking lab culture.” Reagan leaned across the table, grabbing Ryan by the hand. “But really, Flyboy, all joking aside, you need to step up to the plate.”

  Ryan pulled away, placing his hands on his knees. He thought of Alexis and how that always calmed her nerves. A small smile spread over his face. “It’s really not like that between us. My relationship with Lex is much like ours, Ray. We’re just friends. Always have been. Always will be.”

  “That’s bullshit and you know it. What you feel for her is nothing like what you feel for me. You light up at the sound of her name. I noticed that much the first time you told me about her.” Reagan finished the last bite of her breakfast and washed it down with a swig of coffee.

  “Lexi tried to feed me that same line,” Declan stated, grabbing his and Reagan’s trash from the table, and disposed of it. “I called bullshit on her, too.”

  “Really?” Ryan perked up.

  Reagan and Declan cut their eyes to one another. Ryan cocked his head, glancing between them. “What?”

  “You really don’t realize it, do you?” Reagan teased. “You’ve fallen hard for this woman. Very hard.”

  Ryan waved her off, while he rolled his half-eaten burrito back up in its foil package. “You’re delusional.” He stood up and marched over to the fridge, depositing his food into the cooler for later.

  “Right. Okay.” Reagan leaned back, balancing on the back legs of her chair.

  Ryan grabbed his keys and wallet. “I’m heading over to Lex’s. I’ll be back later,” he told Declan.

  “I thought she said to come by later?” an almost whiny sound flourished from Reagan.

  “It is later,” Ryan stated. He tossed his keys in the air and caught them in an underhanded swoop.

  “Fine. Whatever,” she huffed. “Before you go, I wanted to tell you I have tickets to the State Fair tomorrow for the Red River Showdown. I’m covering the game, but I thought you might be interested in joining me back in the locker room before the game.”

  Ryan reached for his ball cap, slapping it on his head. He pushed it back for a brief moment, tucked his hair under it, and shoved it back down over his forehead. “Maybe. I don’t know. I have to make things right with Lex before I make any decisions.”

  “I’ll go if he doesn’t,” Declan chirped.

  “You’re in luck, Flyboy,” Reagan noted, ignoring Declan’s claim. “I have four tickets to the fair, but only one spare locker room pass. Ask Lexi to join us.” She threaded her fingers through her hair, letting out a little sigh. “And you can come too, Deck. As long as you don’t try to hump my leg again.”

  Declan let out a howl while he winked at Reagan. “Deal.”

  She dropped her chair to the floor, planting her hands on her thighs. “We can all hang out at the fair before the game and then you can join me in the locker room. Declan can keep Lexi company while we’re away. Easy peasy.” She clapped her hands, dusting them off. “Besides, you did say she wants to meet me. This is the perfect situation. Unintrusive.”

  “Fine,” Ryan waned. “I’ll let you know what she says.”

  “Good. Now go kiss and makeup.” Reagan bounced out of her chair and met Ryan in a hug. “Trust me,” she whispered in his ear so only he could hear. “Come to grips with what you feel for her and fast, because if you don’t, someone else will steal her right out from under your nose. And that’s a pain I don’t ever want to see you endure.”
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  The tone of her voice and the way she squeezed him tight struck Ryan deep in his chest. This was the plea of someone who knew what she was talking about in the most intimate of ways. Ryan pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I will. I promise.”

  She smacked Ryan across the backside. “Go get her, tiger!”

  Declan whooped, hollered, and threw his fist in the air. Ryan tucked his phone and wallet into his pockets and walked out the door. It was only a few blocks to Alexis’ apartment, and the sun was now in full bloom, a reminder that a new day was upon him. He’d had no sleep, but he knew he couldn’t rest until he saw her. Not after what he’d done.

  In his car, he allowed the memories to wash over him like bad reruns. The look in her eyes, the sound of her voice, and even the slam of the door when she left echoed through his memory. He screwed up and he had to fix it. Someway. Somehow.

  No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t sleep. Every time she closed her eyes the look on Ryan’s face when she left resurfaced. She wanted to call him, to tell him it was okay, but it wasn’t. He hurt her and that pissed her off. Ryan was supposed to be different.

  She hugged her pillow and let the tears continue to fall. The thought occurred to her that other than her father, Ryan was the only man she’d ever cried over. She’d cried the day she left him for New York and she cried again over him now. He was the only man she’d ever allowed close enough to her heart to hurt her, and it left her feeling confused and even more infuriated.

  A knock at the door pulled her from her tear-soaked pillow. She stumbled down the stairs, not caring how swollen her face might look or that her hair was a tattered mess. Whoever was at the door was interrupting her pity party, so what they saw was their own fault.

  At the door, she neglected to even peek through the peephole. She didn’t care who was there. They’d run like hell the moment they saw her, anyway, which was fine by her. All she wanted was for them to go away so she could return to bed and wallow. She flung the door open and there stood Ryan. Still in his uniform, he had a ball cap on his head, but even the shadow from the hat didn’t cover his red, puffy eyes. He raked his teeth over his bottom lip before whispering, “I’m sorry.”

  All of the anger inside of her evaporated at the sound of those two simple little words. She flung herself into his arms. He held her tight, tears flowed down both of their faces. No words were said, but their grip on one another and the rapid beats of their hearts spoke volumes.

  Ryan pulled back, only slightly, and pushed her hair from her face. She found solace in his eyes, forgetting the anger she felt or the pain he’d inflicted. Her walls were starting to crumble, even if she didn’t want them to. It scared her to let him in, to let him see all of her, but it was Ryan. He was here when he didn’t have to be.

  Allowing him to pick her up bridal style, he carried her inside. The door slammed closed behind him of its own accord rattling the walls. He turned just enough to lock the door and started through the apartment, carrying her upstairs to the bedroom. There he laid her on the bed. He kicked off his shoes, tossed his hat aside, and stripped his uniform shirt off, leaving him in his slacks and undershirt. Climbing in behind her, he pulled her back to his chest.

  Alexis closed her eyes, relief and warmth flooding her veins as his arms circled around her, holding her tight. His lips, so close to her ear, brushed over her skin when he whispered, “Let’s not fight again. I can’t handle it.”

  “Me either,” she murmured, snuggling into him.

  “I was a jerk. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.” His chin rested on her shoulder, his nose nuzzled into the curve of her neck. “I should’ve listened to you. Seeing you come out of his room...” he sucked in a deep breath.

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  Ryan pressed a tender kiss to her jaw. Her chest rose and fell, lost in the scent of him. She knew she should be mad, and she was, but her need to be with him superseded such emotions. She couldn’t bring herself to let him go. His nose buried in her hair, she linked her fingers with his, pushing herself further into the bow of his waist. Ryan let out a tiny moan sending waves of pleasure through her. He slipped their hands down to her hip, resting their joined hands on her thigh.

  “I’m the one who screwed up. Please tell me you forgive me,” his soft, sincere plea lingered in her ear.

  Tilting her face, she glanced up at him. “Shh,” she whispered. She pressed her free hand to his stubbled jaw. “It’s okay now. We’re going to be okay.”

  The strain in his shoulders relaxed, his whole body melted around hers. Those simple little words soothed their souls, allowing them to find comfort in one another.

  Held in each other’s arms, they found sleep. Deep, peaceful slumber that neither had experienced since their last sleepover in Edenton as teenagers. But things had changed. They knew it, but how much, only time would tell. For now, they only cared that they were together. The rest would figure itself out. Eventually.

  “Boots or wedges?” Alexis lifted the two options to her chest, checking them against her chosen outfit of a denim miniskirt and a red empire waist tunic. “I really should get a cat,” she mused. “At least then I’d stop talking to myself.” She tossed both pairs of shoes aside, grabbing her black flats instead. “Practical and cute.”

  She pulled at the tunic while stepping into her shoes. “Maybe a t-shirt and jeans would be better?” Her brow furrowed as she contemplated her chosen wardrobe. Her hair was down, makeup polished, but her level of discomfort and uncertainty was verging at the corner of panicked and terrified. She took in two deep breaths, allowing the memory of waking in Ryan’s arms to comfort her.

  “Good morning, Lex,” his sweet voice resonated in her ear. Warm tingles rushed up her spine, and left their impressions on her skin. She sighed in contentment, all of the previous night’s events nothing more than a memory.

  Grinning, she turned her face to meet his. “Don’t you mean good afternoon?”

  “It’s good whatever it is.” His lips pressed to hers, light, gentle, and so brisk that had her whole body not exploded with want and need she wouldn’t have realized the kiss even occurred.

  She pressed her fingertips to her lips, smiling. It only happened once. Afterward, he spent the day lavishing her in his usual innocent, friendly kisses ─ the tip of her nose, her forehead, her temple ─ all just as sweet, but not intimate like the stolen kiss in bed.

  The ringing of the doorbell pulled her from her musings. Alexis had been excited when Ryan suggested they accompany Reagan and Declan to the Texas State Fair. Not only would she have the chance to finally meet the illustrious Reagan, but she was curious about this event her father and little brother had told her so much about. She still couldn’t wrap her head around some of the food items they’d claimed were amazing. It seemed as if everything in Texas, from chicken to beer, could be fried.

  She gave herself one last glance in the mirror, fluffing out her hair. Being used to wearing scrubs, she reveled in the fact she could wear something that wasn’t shapeless. She flattened the tunic over her stomach. Her heart rattled against her chest, the panic back in full force.

  Here goes nothing.

  She skipped downstairs, excited to see him. They’d only been separated for twelve hours, most of which was while she slept, but it felt like an eternity to her. She pulled in a ragged breath as she reached for the knob. Throwing the door open, she came face to face with the boyish grin of Ryan Fisher. His toned, sculpted chest was sheathed in a fitted black t-shirt with the caption “If I was flying, Goose would still be alive”, paired with faded jeans and sneakers.

  At the sight of him, her heart skipped a beat. The corner of his shirt was tucked in revealing the wonderful way his jeans hugged his hips. Her mind reeled with the way his hard body had wrapped around her, cocooning her in his strong arms. His dark hair was disheveled and his jaw was darkened by two days worth of stubble. A pair of aviator sunglasses covered those green eyes that she knew were bouncing behi
nd the darks shades. His lips twitched into a grin sending her heart into full arrest.

  “Wow! You look amazing,” he complimented, rubbing his chin.

  “And apparently overdressed.” Her head bobbed up and down, noting the casual nature of his attire.

  Ryan glanced down at his watch. “We have time if you want to change into something different.”

  The initial plan was for Ryan to drive Reagan and Declan to come pick up Alexis, but after mulling over it the entire day, Ryan gave up his chance at locker room access. Alexis tried to convince him that she was okay with the idea, but Ryan wouldn’t hear it. She stopped arguing with him after she saw the determination in his eyes. The line had been crossed in the sand and she wasn’t to be alone with Declan again. Not that it mattered to her. While she considered Declan a handsome man, her feelings for him were nothing more than platonic.

  “So I am overdressed.” She stepped back, letting him in her apartment.

  “Not at all!” his voice rose as he ripped his shades off his face.

  “I’ll go change,” she stated with a chuckle.

  Ryan grabbed her by the arm, pulling her to his chest. The musky scent of his cologne filled her nostrils, making her wobbly at the knees. She wrapped her arms around his back, holding herself steady against him. “You look amazing. Don’t change.”

  “Oh, stop it.” She smacked her hand on his back. “Declan and Reagan will be dressed like you so, I’m going to change.”

  Ryan tweaked her nose. “Always stubborn.”

  “You know me.”

  “That I do.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. As she stepped out of his embrace, an overwhelming sense of attraction engulfed her. She licked her lips, blinking a few times to wipe away the image of her ripping that shirt over his head to reveal his hard body beneath. Ryan tilted his head, his brow raising. “What?” he asked, a mischievousness to his tone.