Compass

by Jeanne McDonald

  Fear knotted in Ryan’s chest. The flashing lights of the ambulance and the high-pitched siren pierced his ears. There was so much pressure on his chest that it was almost impossible for him to breathe. He tried to speak. He wanted to scream, but the mask the medics had over his mouth prevented such a thing.

  Alexis! He cried out in his mind. I have to get back to her!

  All his life he’d loved only one woman. Now, more than ever, he realized that. Alexis York was meant for him. They’d always been connected, even when they were separated.

  His eyes fluttered closed. They were heavy and it felt better to close them. He heard someone shout in his ear to open his eyes. He obeyed, but not without some hesitation. Behind those closed eyelids he could see the one person who drove him to survive. Alexis pushed him to not give up. It was the sound of her voice that enabled him to rip out his own seat restraints and pull Kix from the burning cockpit. Without her whispering in his mind, he wouldn’t have been able to push forward and help other passengers get out of the wreckage.

  Through blurry eyes, Ryan managed to take in his surroundings. Now, somehow, he was being rushed through hospital doors. The gurney bounced, jerking him when they turned a corner. He rasped out in pain, the tightness in his chest muffling his voice.

  “We have a male, early thirties, possible broken ribs,” a man yelled out.

  Who are they talking about? Ryan wondered.

  The accident flashed inside his mind. Images of fire, the smell of smoke, the screams of people expanded in his head. It was him who was hurt. But how? He hadn’t been hurt before, other than a sharp ache in his leg. Nothing was making sense to him. Everything came in scrambled little pieces.

  He pressed his mind to remember. While he could feel it on the edge of his brain, all that came to mind was Alexis. Her tender smile, the sound she made when she giggled, her sweet scent syphoned the smell of smoke and the terror of screams from his mind.

  It was no use.

  All he could feel was Alexis.

  I feel her! he realized.

  His body jolted to life. She was here, in this place. He could sense her, almost as if he could hear the very sound of her heart beating.

  “I found him!” a familiar voice cried out. He felt a hand on his forehead and someone opened his eyelids, forcing light into them. “We’ve been searching for you,” the voice told him.

  Ryan tried to smile, but something covered his mouth. The urge to reach up and pull off whatever it was over his nose and mouth was overwhelming, but his arms couldn’t move. He jerked his hands. “Easy there, buddy. It’s all okay now. You’re safe,” came the sweet female voice. “I’ll be right back. You hear me? I’m going to get Alexis.”

  Alexis! his soul cried out. He fought against the restraints, but the pain in his chest grew tighter. Ryan gasped for air; the mask on his face was suffocating him. So much was going on around him that he couldn’t tell what was real and what was a dream. Was it possible that he’d dreamt the nice woman telling him that Alexis was there? All he knew for certain was his love for Alexis kept him from fading into the blackness that hovered around him.

  “Baby,” her soft voice called to him. A force so strong threw him into stillness. “I need you to calm down.” He couldn’t move even if he wanted to. The sheer force of heat and electrical current running through his veins pinned him to the bed. Ryan forced his eyes to open wide. A tired, heavy haze coated his vision, but the dim outline was recognizable to him. It was Alexis standing over the bed. “Baby, I need you to listen to me. You’ve been injured. Your left leg appears to be broken, as do your ribs. We’re taking you for x-rays now.”

  Ryan grunted, flexing his fingers. Alexis gripped his hand, settling his speeding heart. “I’m not going to leave your side. You hear me? I’m right here. I love you so much.” Her free hand pushed his hair back from his face.

  I love you, too.

  And with that, everything went black.

  Ryan opened his eyes, disturbed by the sudden shift in his bed. He turned his head, disoriented, to find Alexis slipping in beside him. A nagging feeling twitched inside of his chest. His body tingled with the realization that this didn’t feel quite right. Alexis never snuck into his bed; it was always the other way around. “Lex?” he sleep whispered, “What’s going on? You okay?”

  Alexis pulled the covers over them, curling into his side. “I’m scared,” she replied, her voice low and breathy.

  Ryan flipped over, pressing their bodies close to one another. “Of what?” In the recesses of his mind, he heard something. It sounded like a chirp. He disregarded it as Alexis having left the window open and a bird was singing its nightly song.

  “Of losing you.” Her honesty pierced his soul.

  “That’s not going to happen.”

  Alexis trailed her fingers down his cheeks. The touch was so soft, so smooth, and so intimate that it confused him. She’d never touched him like this before. Or had she? His mind struggled against the feelings. It was natural. It felt right. Yet somehow it felt fresh and new. Strange to the point of being familiar.

  “I love you so much. I can’t lose you.”

  The young boy inside him whooped and hollered that the girl of his dreams had admitted to loving him, which confused him all the more. Was he a boy? Alexis was very much a woman. A beautiful, smart, successful woman. That had to mean he was a man. But he didn’t feel like a man. Nothing made sense, but it all felt fresh and painless. His first instinct was to distrust the lack of misery, but he stopped himself. He didn’t want to disturb the hazy bubble wrapped around his mind.

  Ryan peered into her eyes, the dark chocolate gaze of home. A ghost of a smile quirked his lips. “I love you, too,” he stated with certainty. “And I promise, you’ll never lose me. Ever.”

  “Always,” she started, her lips inching closer to his.

  “And forever,” he finished, their mouths connecting in a deep kiss that reached his very soul.

  When Alexis pulled back, he could see true love in her eyes. “Can I stay here, please?”

  Ryan touched his fingertips to her lips, aching to know if this was really happening. “I never want you to leave.”

  He rolled over onto his back, allowing Alexis to rest her head on his chest. With her in his arms, he closed his eyes, allowing sleep to pull him back under. She was there, with him, and while none of this made sense, he couldn’t bring himself to care. All that ever mattered to him, and all that would ever matter to him, was Alexis.

  A gentle snore resonated in his ears. Sounds of medical equipment beeped in a nonsensical pattern around him. His body felt stiff, sore, and constricted. His eyes were heavy. There was a slight throb inside his skull. His head felt fuzzy and strange. Nothing made any sense to him.

  With a slight flutter, Ryan opened his eyes to the bright light of an unfamiliar room. He was in a rather lumpy bed, in an almost uncomfortable position. He tried to move but something tugged at his hand. Tilting his head, he caught sight of the impeding object. Clear cannulas protruded from his hand. From the corner of his eye he could see bags hanging above him, dripping fluids into the tubes.

  Was this all real? He didn’t know. Reality seemed elusive to him. Nothing seemed real yet everything felt right.

  A subtle shift in the bed caught his attention. He turned his head to find Alexis lying beside him, sound asleep. She’d managed to curl up in a ball on the mattress next to him. Her position appeared terribly uncomfortable, yet she seemed to be sleeping soundly. He lifted his hand to touch her face, but the mangled mass of IV tubes restricted his movement.

  “Lex.” His dry, weak voice cracked.

  “You’re awake,” a voice he recognized whispered.

  Ryan turned his head to find his mother sitting in a chair next to the bed. “Mom?”

  Shannon Fisher scooted forward, taking him by the hand. Her blonde hair and dark roots were washed out in the odd light of the room. Her sharp nose rounded at the tip and her blue eyes looke
d tired and weary. “Hey there, sweetheart. How ya feeling?”

  Ryan opened and closed his eyes. His throat burned. “A little thirsty.”

  Shannon grabbed a cup of water from a bed table and moved to press the straw to his lips. Ryan tried to lift his hand to touch the straw, but there was yet another tube taped to his face. It felt strange and very uncomfortable. “Don’t,” his mother warned, “you need that.”

  Ryan dropped his hand and wrapped his lips around the pliable straw. He drank the cool liquid; savoring each drop as if it were the first time he’d ever ingested water. “Thank you,” he panted, letting the straw fall from his lips.

  Alexis shifted against him, letting out a small, sleep-filled groan. Her hand moved to his chest with her nose nestled against his neck. “How long have I been here?” he asked.

  “A couple of days,” Shannon noted.

  “And Lex?” His eyes moved down the beauty who rested beside him, her legs tangled in a white hospital blanket.

  Shannon reached across him, brushing the hair from Alexis’ sleeping face. “Just as long. She’s only left you when she’s had to work and even then she’s checked in on you constantly. Like she is now. Actually,” she glanced down at her watch, “I’m supposed to wake her soon. She has to get back to her rounds. I never realized how driven she is.”

  “No,” he requested. “Please let her stay a little longer.”

  With a tender smile and a quick nod, Shannon moved away from his sleeping angel.

  Ryan tried to adjust his position, but the pain was more than he could bear. He glanced down at the end of the bed catching sight of a huge lump beneath the sheet. Slowly, he pulled back the cover to reveal a white cast encompassing his leg. “How bad am I?” He released a heavy sigh, which added pressure to his chest, causing him to wince.

  “Not as bad as you could’ve been,” Shannon started. “Your left leg is broken in two places and you have three bruised ribs. You’re lucky they’re not broken. Aside from that, only minor scrapes and bruises.”

  Ryan licked his lips, pushing himself to remember. Everything still felt strange and fuzzy in his head. None of this made sense. “But how?”

  “From what we were able to gather, you assisted Kix out of the cockpit. After that, you went to help others. Mind you, you did all of this on a broken leg, which had to come from some sort of adrenaline rush or something.”

  Ryan knew better. It was more than adrenaline. The thought of Alexis pushed him. She was a constant presence in his heart, always leading him to where he needed to be.

  “Anyway,” she continued, “after pulling three other people from the wreckage, you happened across the lavatory where a child was trapped. The structure of the plane wasn’t sound, and when you extracted the little boy, it gave way. Medics found you, cocooning him with your body, buried under a pile of debris.”

  Like a light being turned on, everything about that night came into focus. He remembered the sound of a child crying and the fear in the little boy’s face. “Is he okay?”

  Shannon lifted from her chair, placing a tender kiss to her son’s forehead. “Not a scratch on him. You took the brunt of everything. You saved his life.”

  A sense of humbleness filled Ryan. He felt grateful for having been able to assist the child. It was worth the discomfort he currently felt.

  Ryan flexed his fingers. At the end of his index finger was yet another medical device hooked up to him, shining bright and red.

  I must look like a cyborg.

  He tried to take in a deep breath, but the beeping sound increased. “You need to stay calm,” Shannon advised. “Alexis said breathing will be painful for awhile.”

  “That’s an understatement,” he grunted. He further examined the stark white room. There was another chair in the corner, near the window, empty save a briefcase his father always carried. “Is Pops here?” he wondered.

  “He’s with Melanie and Miles in the cafeteria getting some coffee.”

  “Alexis’ parents are here, too?” he gasped in surprise.

  “With their significant others, of course.” Her tone sounded almost sarcastic. “Reagan came by yesterday, but I guess she had to fly to Philadelphia for work. Declan’s girlfriend, Jenna is also here.”

  “She’s Alexis’ friend from New York, Mom.” Ryan tried to laugh, but the pain it inflicted was too much. “Declan doesn’t do girlfriends,” he rasped.

  Shannon leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. “That may have been true in the past, but my Mommy-senses are tingling.”

  “Mommy-senses, really?”

  She pursed her lips and shrugged one shoulder. “Don’t underestimate my mommy-senses, young man. They always knew you and Alexis would end up together.”

  Ryan shifted his eyes to Alexis and though it hurt, he smiled. “Okay. I’ll grant you that one, but I’m still skeptical about Declan.”

  Shannon cocked a brow. “Doubt all you want, but I’m right.”

  A peaceful silence filled the room. Alexis stirred and her subtle snoring stopped. Her eyes fluttered open.

  “You’re awake,” Ryan breathed, smiling.

  “That’s my line,” she replied, grinning brightly.

  Her precious smile tugged at his heart. The sound of her voice set the universe straight. This moment, this woman was his reality.

  “Well, kids, that’s my cue to exit stage right.” Shannon thumbed toward the door. She stood up and leaned over Ryan, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll be back soon.”

  “Love ya, Mom.”

  “I love you, too, son.”

  Shannon reached out and touched Alexis’ cheek. “And you, too, sweetheart.” She stepped around the foot of the bed and exited the room, closing the door behind her.

  At the sound of the door clicking closed, Alexis lifted her head and pressed her lips to Ryan’s. His heart skipped a beat or maybe two. The pain in his chest was nothing in comparison to the hunger and power behind her kiss. He could feel everything she’d harbored inside as it poured into that kiss. The power that burned between them could light the city. He tried to lift his hand again to cup her face, but winced when the catheter under his skin pinched.

  She pulled back, her eyes filled with fear, concern, anger, lust, but most of all, love. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” he grumbled. “The IV is twisted.”

  Alexis slipped off the bed, moving to the machine. Her body heat left an absence beside him that he hated. She worked the cords, adjusting the bags and even checking the readings until he was untangled. “Better?” she asked after her work was finished.

  Ryan lifted his now freed hand, wiggling his fingers. “Much. Thank you.”

  Alexis leaned over, pressing her lips to his. This time, he had the freedom to touch her, savoring the warmth of her skin against his palm. There were no parents, no doctors, or nurses around. Nothing could hold him back from kissing the woman who’d held him even in his dreams.

  Within moments, their kiss turned from sweet and innocent to sizzling and wanton. One hungry kiss turned into another until they were both breathless. Ryan felt the pain, but it was like a nagging hum in the back of his mind. All he cared about was being there, in that moment, with Alexis.

  “Well what do we have here?”

  Both of them jerked their heads toward the door to find Declan, standing against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest. A haughty smirk tilted his lips. Neither of them had heard him open it, as they were consumed by their reunion. “The guy’s barely awake and here you are about to jump his bones. Lucky bastard.”

  “Jealous much?” Alexis stood up straight and tugged at the hem of her top, resuming a more professional appearance.

  “Damn right, I am,” he shot back. Declan shoved off the door and strutted into the room. “Ryan has all the luck.”

  Ryan tried hard not to laugh to avoid the pain. “Not all the luck,” he winced when uncontrollable laughter bubbled from his chest.

&
nbsp; Alexis twisted around, examining one medical device then another. Her true smile dropped and a manual one replaced it. Ryan had never noticed it before, but she had two different smiles. He liked the true smile better. “On a scale from one to ten, ten being the worst, what’s your pain level?” Her voice had turned professional.

  Ryan reached up, brushing his thumb along her wrist. “I’m fine, Lex.”

  Her face twisted and her brow scrunched together as she considered his words. “Okay,” she said. “I have to go make my rounds, but I’ll be back very soon with your dinner.”

  “Don’t be gone too long.”

  She leaned over and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. In the background they could hear Declan grumble and groan like a kid watching its parents kiss.

  “I won’t be. I promise.”

  She sidled around the bed, and kicked Declan in the back of the knee as she crossed his path. He hobbled for a second, slinging a slew of curses.

  “That’s what you get for being a dick,” she caterwauled, heading out the door.

  “I’m always a dick,” he bellowed back, rubbing behind his leg. “Damn, she’s got good aim.”

  “Actually, I think she was aiming for your crotch,” Ryan teased, his smile widening.

  Declan glanced at the door and back to Ryan. He scratched his head. “Nah,” he blurted out and sauntered over to the chair Shannon had vacated earlier. “So, how ya feeling, buddy? Ready to start training for your next IronMan?”

  “You know it,” Ryan balked. “I bet I’ll make my best time yet sporting this cast.”

  “You’ll be back on your feet in no time.”

  Ryan shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position. It seemed a hopeless feat. “This damn bed is probably the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever been in.” He squinted his eyes, thinking for a moment. “On second thought, that hostel in Costa Rica might’ve given this thing a run for its money.”