About 9:30 that evening I couldn’t sleep as much as I needed it, and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t get Kieran far from my mind. The volume on my phone was at maximum but the only person who had texted was Ruthie.
Knowing what I was doing was completely unethical, I decided to text Kieran. He left on an odd note and all I could think was I’d hurt his feelings about not wanting to know his list. BUT, knowing his list would only draw me into him more and I was drawn to him enough.
I’d kept walls completely up and around my heart since I was 11 years old. If you don’t let people in, they don’t hurt you and even more they can’t leave you. Never once when I had decided to counsel, did I think about the relationships I’d be building in therapy. And never once did I think I’d have someone as gorgeous and charming as Kieran Scott sitting across from me.
Kieran… Send
My phone buzzed back about ten minutes later.
Doc…
You busy? Send My body involuntarily stretched with excitement.
Working. Watching people who shouldn’t be dancing—dance. What’s up?
I giggled.
I’d like to know your list. Keep it nice please. Send
I can’t make any guarantees. But two things first. How are u feeling?
His words seemed attached to my heartstrings because there was a bit of a tug reading that text.
Better. Drugs are a good thing. Thank you. Send
Good to hear. On your list, u said gentle. What did u mean by that?
Well. Maybe more of a gentle soul. You always ask about me. How I’m feeling… Make sense? Send
Hold up Doc. Have an issue to take care of.
I clutched my phone to my chest. An issue? A woman? I shook away the thoughts of Kieran and another woman. He was only mine two hours out of the week…I couldn’t imagine what he did with the other hours of his days. About twenty minutes later, my phone buzzed again.
Sorry Doc. I’m back. Yes, that makes sense. Thank u. I’m not always gentle.
Those last four words made my groin thrum a slow tune. My phone buzzed again.
Stubborn
I started to type that I wasn’t stubborn when my phone buzzed again.
Cute
Cute???? What the hell? A freaking kitty is cute. A baby hippo is cute.
And before you get all worked up and pull out the kitty claws, that’s what I mean by cute. U get upset in the cutest ways. Right now, I guarantee ya, u look cute.
I giggled.
You’re sexy as fuck. You try so hard to be professional. But deep down, I know you want the big D.
He was crazy. I quickly texted: I just added crazy to your list!!!!!!! Send
I’ll call bullshit to that Doc. Send me a pic of your breasts.
Quickly, I Googled images of breasts, found some gross huge ones, took a screen shot and hit send.
Wow! Those are hot. It’s OK…I think I’ll see the real things soon enough.
My nipples pebbled up on my chest under my pajamas.
Look at it this way…women send you pics all the time so you get to see A LOT of boobs and…. Send
I could see whatever I wanted in person, Doc. But that’s not what I want.
My heart and vajayjay did a flippity flop. Holy freaking hell, I wanted this guy. I’d never wanted a guy like this…ever.
What exactly do you want, Mr. Scott? Send
Well. That brings me to my last word. Fuckable.
All women are fuckable, MS Send
Doc. There are a few things I’ll tolerate. I’ll tolerate Mr. Scott. I’ll tolerate your game playing when we both know what u want. I will not tolerate MS and I will not tolerate not touching u much longer. Touché on the fuckable. How about fuckworthy?
Mr. Scott. The only reason you find me fuckable or fuckworthy is because I’m an unattainable fuck. Send
DOC!!!!!!! Watch your fuckin mouth. And with you…it might just be an ‘earnest’ fuck.
And earnest one huh? I shook my aching head. That infuriating man didn’t know earnest.
You can’t tell me what to do MF. ;) I’m going to bed… Send
Somebody’s trying to run with the big dogs and she’s going to lose when I show up at her place and spank her. MF? Really… Sleep well pretty girl
Overflowing with giddy anticipation of even the possibility of him showing up at my apartment, I lay awake for a while. I even considered touching myself but still felt crappy enough to wait. I’m not sure what time it was when I finally closed my eyes and let sleep take me.
The loud raps of gunshot piercing the quiet night brought me instantly alert to my feet. I slid on my flip-flops and ran to the front window just as I heard the glass break. What the hell?
Chapter 15—Kieran
The ring of my phone jolted me from sleep. My clock read 1:10 a.m. Who was calling? I glanced around my room for the phone then saw it illuminating on my dresser.
Annoyed at the damn girls that called this hour, I slowly walked over to find the screen flashed Doc’s name. What the hell?
“Doc?”
“Kieran?” she cried.
My eyes flashed wide.
“What’s wrong? Where are you?”
Sirens were loud and panic washed over me. I slid on my jeans and a T-shirt then slipped on a ball cap.
“Kieran, I’m going to the hospital. Can you meet me there?”
My stomach wrenched. “Megan, are you hurt?”
“I’ll be fine,” she cried and I knew when I saw her, I would hold her.
“Where?” I slid on my boots and grabbed my keys.
“Emmanuel.”
At the hospital, a security guard watched as I backed my bike into a spot then nodded as I ran past. Doc’s car wasn’t there. The bright lights of the ER forced me to squint. Quickly my eyes scanned the waiting room. Nothing. The last time I’d been in an emergency room waiting room was two years ago and that night changed my life.
“Excuse me,” I said to a nurse as I touched her arm
At first she seemed annoyed, but then gave me a once over and smiled.
“What can I help you with?”
“Megan. Megan? Doc!” Her last name left me. “I don’t know her last name,” I said flustered.
“It’s OK. Calm down. Is she hurt?”
“I don’t know.”
“Are you her husband?”
“No,” I said exasperated, running my fingers through my hair. “She called. She needed me,” I explained.
“Sir, listen, have a seat and I’ll try to find something out.”
“I don’t want to sit, please, you don’t understand,” I raised my voice, aware that people waiting were watching us.
“I understand that this is a trauma unit and everyone wants to be seen and everyone is worried about someone,” she said more sternly.
This bitch was starting to piss me off. I would get to Doc with or without her help.
“MEGAN!” I shouted down the quiet hallway.
“Mister. You cannot do this. Please give me a half second to ask.”
“MEGAN!” I shouted again, moving away from her.
“Call security!” the nurse said to someone behind me.
“Kieran?” I heard the cry come from the hallway and I shoved past a different nurse.
“Sir, you can’t just go in there!”
“Megan?” I said softer.
“Kieran. I’m in here,” she cried.
A desperate feeling occupied every inch of my body and when I got to the second door, I stood at the doorway, not yet looking in. “Megan?”
“I think she is in the next room,” some guy said.
“Thank you.” I ran to the third doorway.
“Megan?”
“Yes.”
“May I come in?”
“Yes,” she whimpered.
Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when I rounded that corner. Blood saturated her shirt, splattered over her face and matted in her hair. A massacre h
ad taken place of some sorts and I swore in that moment, I’d kill who had hurt her. I’d never even kissed this girl. It was embarrassing to feel what I felt. We’d experienced nothing.
“Doc, what the hell happened?” I asked, sitting on the physician’s stool and rolling over to her.
Her eyes clenched shut and tears streaked over the dried blood.
“He was shot…” she cried.
“Who?”
“Andrew.”
I didn’t know who Andrew was.
“I’m so sorry,” I said.
“Let’s get you changed into a gown,” a nurse said tossing a blue and white dotted gown onto her feet as she joined us in the small room. “Could you please give us a minute,” she requested.
“No.” I shook my head as Megan’s rounded doe eyes found mine.
“NO?” the nurse asked with raised brows.
Still staring at Doc, I said, “I’m not leaving her.”
“It’s five feet to the hallway.”
My eyes left Doc’s momentarily and I shot a menacing glare at the nurse letting her know I was done with this exchange and it was no longer open for discussion. She grabbed some scissors, turned back toward Doc and started cutting her shirt without even asking. Doc didn’t wear a bra and I quickly turned, giving her privacy.
“Ouch. I see where that bullet got you.”
Panicked, I spun back around as the nurse pulled the tattered and bloody shirt from her skin, her breasts fully exposed. She was beautiful. Small swells. Perfect. I felt like a pervert for looking but had the nurse really said she was shot? The beautiful pink nipples on top her breasts began to pebble.
Her fatigued eyes glanced up at me as blood inched into her cheeks…my eyes fell to the floor.
“We will be back in to get that cleaned up, then you can go,” the nurse said, covering her with a blanket.
“How’s Andrew?” Doc asked.
The nurse glanced at me then Doc.
“I can’t tell you that,” she said. “You’re not family. I’m sorry.”
Megan laid her head back against the bed, releasing a long, slow breath.
“Tell me what happened…please,” I requested as I took her small hand in mine. The softness of her skin made me want to touch more of her.
Her eyes held fear.
“Trust me,” I whispered.
She squeezed my hand and it felt as if my heart was clutched in her hand.
“Andrew is eleven. He reminds me so much of me when I was little. I’ve only known him going on two months. His older brother is in a gang. Or at least I think he is. Mom’s a mess. No dad that I’ve ever seen.” Her eyes met mine. “I heard the shots. I don’t know what happened. But Andrew was down,” she whispered, her voice cracking.
My thumb moved back and forth over her knuckles.
“There was blood everywhere,” she cried. “I grabbed him. That’s when I heard the whiz and felt the sudden burning.” She lifted the reddish hair off her shoulders and I swallowed when I realized how close the bullet had come to penetrating her neck. Possibly hitting her carotid artery.
“It sounded like firecrackers at first. Then it stopped and I ran outside to see Andrew standing over Jamari when the car came back by. I just threw myself over Andrew after he went down. I didn’t know what else to do!” she wailed.
Knowing I was going to take her into my arms, I was nervous as hell. But…I did it. And she didn’t resist. Feeling her cheek against my chest was…comforting. And in that tender moment, and because I didn’t understand why—I asked…
“Why did you call me?”
She sniffed, using her hand as a tissue because of course there wasn’t one in the room. What the hell kind of hospital doesn’t have Kleenex?
“I tried Ruthie, she didn’t answer. I’m sorry.”
I shook my head. “No! It’s fine. It’s just…” I paused. I was so glad she had called me. “I’m just surprised.”
Her gray eyes were bloodshot, swollen from tears. But she was still able to study my face and I let her. I regretted so much what she almost saw the other night at the bar when she walked in on Nikki and me. Though I didn’t need to, I felt I wanted to make it right.
“Doc?”
“Yeah?”
One of my arms still circled around her.
“About earlier this week. At the bar. When you got there.”
Instantly, her body stiffened and I felt her walls shooting up.
“Mr. Scott. That is your business. I was simply wanting to warn you about the warrant.”
Then it was my jaw that tightened. “Don’t, Doc. Don’t act like you don’t care. We’re past that bullshit.”
This time, she pulled completely away from me. Her face and hair were still caked in dried blood.
“Remember the words you saw on the paper,” she asked. “Now I can simply add compassion to that list too. Well done.”
Her professional mask had fallen into place.
“OK. Let’s look at that wound now,” a balding but nice-looking doctor said as he whizzed through the door.
Doc looked at him rather than me and she softened a bit. I tried to determine how pissed I really was.
The doctor examined her head, peeled off his gloves, patted her leg, which sent me into I’ll-kick-your-ass mode. Then he left the room. The awkward silence, thick with tension, hung in the air.
“Well, the doctor said you could go as soon as we get you cleaned up,” the nurse returned, glaring at me.
What the hell had I done?
She continued, “Sounds as if you made quite a stir in the waiting room.”
I remained quiet.
The nurse started cleaning Doc’s neck when two police officers walked in the room. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Instinctively, I turned my ball cap backward, ready for a fight. I was not leaving her.
“Megan Clark?”
CLARK!!
“Yes?” Doc answered.
“Officer Lotridge and Officer Jackson,” one of the officers said. “We have a few questions about what happened tonight.”
The nurse was taping a bandage on her neck and Doc’s eyes rounded as she gazed up hesitantly at the police officers.
“I didn’t see anything.”
“Ms. Clark, can you tell us why you were there?” the heavy officer who couldn’t outrun a slug asked.
“I live there.”
“You live there?” the other, leaner officer asked with surprise in his tone.
She nodded and I could tell by the way she looked down to her lap that she was embarrassed.
“How do you know Jamari and Andrew?”
“I don’t really know Jamari. Just Andrew. They’re my neighbors. I’ve only been there about two months.”
“Witnesses say that you threw yourself over Andrew? Why would you do that for someone you knew for only two months?”
Seriously? He’s a fucking kid, I wanted to shout.
“He’s a freaking kid!” she fired back and this made my lips curve up. “I heard the shots and just ran,” she exclaimed, and all I could think was right into the line of fire!
“In that neighborhood, did it ever cross your mind to not run toward the gunfire?”
Her nostrils flared. “I don’t suppose I’ve had a lot of experience with gunfire. Instead of asking why I saved a boy’s life, would you mind telling me what happened?”
“Jamari was killed. Andrew is in critical condition. The bullet that grazed your neck could have taken his life. It also could have taken yours.”
“I understand,” she said as tears welled.
“Our suggestion would be that you not return there tonight. Do you have anywhere to stay?” the officer asked.
“She can stay at my place,” I said quickly, and her eyes frantically darted up to mine.
Chapter 16—Megan
“What’s your name?” the officer asked.
“Kieran Scott,” he replied and just the sound of his name stirred something ins
ide of me, as irritated as I was that he would offer his place up knowing I couldn’t stay there.
“May we speak with you for a few minutes outside?” the officer asked tilting his head to the door.
Kieran’s eyes flashed to me. “That ok?”
“Of course,” I assured him trying to be strong but when he nodded to the officers I already missed his presence.
My heart hurt. Hurt for Andrew. Hurt for Jamari. And honestly hurt for Kieran. He didn’t deserve what I threw his way. When Ruthie didn’t answer my call, my option was Joe and Vivian…but truth be told, I was afraid I’d hear a series of I told you so’s from Joe. Wanting to feel protected in that moment, I called Kieran. There was something about him that made me feel safe. Tears bit at my eyes as I thought about how quickly he got here.
It gave me the most unsettled feeling. No one had ever done something like that. And I certainly couldn’t just say thank you. I had to lash out at him with my words.
He was nothing but a gentleman. Our boundaries…our lines…our relationship had become skewed. I’d royally screwed things up. There was something dark and dangerous about Kieran, yet something soft, kind and sweet. I was learning to like all sides of him…but there was no way I could stay with him. I’d for sure have to resign as his therapist, but my heart literally ached at the thought of giving him up.
Sessions Interrupted Page 8
