by Jacob Chance
Elle’s eyes unhurriedly raise to lock with mine. She’s reserved in my presence which I don’t understand. We saw one another yesterday...we kissed. She responded to my kiss, to my touch. Where is this flip in her behavior coming from? Is it because Johnny’s here?
“Elle.” My tone is sterner than I intend, but thinking about her with anyone else angers me. I’m continually off balance when it comes to her. “How are you, today?” I question, sounding more like myself.
“Josh.” She nods her head in my direction. “I’m fine thanks. How are you?”
“Confused,” I mumble under my breath. “I hate to interrupt your time with Lily, but it’s time for her to meet her favorite uncle.” I rub my hands together. “Hand her over.”
Elle rolls her eyes. “I guess you better get used to Uncle Josh ruining all your fun. It’s what he’s best at.” Her words tear into me.
“Elle, that wasn’t nice.” Janny jumps in to defend me.
I raise my hand to stop her from continuing. “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind being the responsible one.” My eyes move to Elle. “We sure as hell know it’s not going to be you.”
“Dude,” Johnny says, a warning in his tone.
Elle interrupts before he can continue. “Here, hold Lily.” She rises to her feet. “We should cut this conversation off before it goes further.” She passes the baby to me over Janny’s bed and I instantly cradle her in my arms.
Dropping my lips to her smooth forehead, I press a kiss on her warm skin. “Hi there, beautiful.” I stare down at her perfect, little face. “You’re a heartbreaker already. Daddy’s gonna need more guns to scare all the boys away.”
“Daddy’s got enough guns to scare them,” Kyle interjects and everyone laughs helping to diffuse the tension in the room.
Keeping my focus on Lily, I try to ignore the whispered conversation between Johnny and Elle. Whatever their relationship is, I can’t change it. Her happiness is what’s important.
They both rise to their feet in sync with one another. My gaze passes over Elle taking in her long golden brown, tanned legs. They look so smooth - they are so smooth. I remember. I couldn’t forget if I wanted to and sometimes I want to more than anything. If I could block out the memories from that night, maybe the permanent ache in my chest would ease. I’d finally be able to move on to someone who wants me all the time.
“We’re going to hit the road. Johnny needs to give me a ride to my car.”
“Drank a little too much last night, did ya?” Janny questions.
“Yeah, a bit.” Elle giggles and smooths her hand over the dark blue shirt she’s wearing. B.P.D. is written in white on her chest. Boston Police Department. Fuck. The shirt is way too large for her, hanging to mid-thigh. If it wasn’t for the frayed edges of her jean cutoff shorts showing at the bottom, she’d appear naked underneath. Why is she wearing his shirt? My eyes return to Lily. I don’t want to see Elle in anything of his. I can’t bear to think about the two of them fucking.
Johnny and Elle say their goodbyes to Kyle and Janny and then Elle walks around the bed, pausing in front of me. “Bye baby girl. Auntie loves you.” She leans forward, placing a kiss on Lily’s forehead. When she straightens our eyes meet, calling up the heart racing memory of yesterday. What a difference less than twenty-four hours can make. Last night I was feeling encouraged and now I’m simply disappointed.
“See ya, Josh.”
“Bye, Elle.”
Keeping my eyes averted until they’ve both left the room, I stare out the large window. There’s a great view of the helipad with the Life flight helicopter parked on it.
“You two need to just screw and get it over with,” Janny announces.
“Been there; done that.”
“Well, do it some more because the tension between you is unbelievable.”
“Can we please not talk about Elle? I’m here to visit with you guys and enjoy my niece. The problems she and I have aren’t going anywhere.”
Five days later
“Two more hours until closing,” Tatum sniffs. “I don’t think I can make it. I feel like shit.”
“Hang in there. You can leave after my next client checks in,” I tell her.
“No, it’s okay. My favorite talk radio show, Tell E, is about to start. Have you ever listened to it?” she asks, animatedly.
“Nope, no idea what you’re talking about. The only talk radio I listen to is The Sports Hub.”
“Tell E is on every Friday night at ten o’clock and it’s all about relationships and sex. It will be a great distraction from how miserable I feel and maybe I’ll learn something useful.” She winks at me.
“Sure.” I give her a thumbs up.
“Am I sensing, skepticism?” She raises an eyebrow. “I challenge you to listen tonight and I bet you’ll learn at least one thing you never knew before.”
“What are we betting?” I want to know, what I’m going to win.”
“Oh, funny guy, you won’t be laughing tomorrow when you’re vacuuming my car.”
“I’ll let you vacuum my place instead.”
“You’ll let me? Hmm, we’ll see how this works out for you.”
Glancing at the clock, I notice there’s thirty more minutes until my next appointment. I had a cancellation and I’m using the time to eat a late dinner since I’ve been going full throttle since eleven a.m. with no breaks.
Adjusting my position on the stool next to Tatum’s, I bite into the thick, juicy cheeseburger that was delivered. “Hmm, wow. This is fucking delicious.” I catch the grease running down my chin with a napkin.
“Gross, Josh. How can you eat that? It’s barely cooked,” she says, with a shudder.
“What are you talking about? It’s perfection. Want a bite?” I ask, holding it in front of her mouth.
“No,” she yells, pushing my hand to the side and averting her face. “Get away from me before it moos.”
“You’re funny, you know that? When it’s pink, it has the most flavor.”
She giggles. “Is this where you insert some cheesy pussy eating reference?”
“I wasn’t going to. I was merely referring to my burger. But I will if you want me to? I can think of a few.”
The song pounding out of the surround sound speakers ends and a sexy female voice begins to speak. “Good evening listeners. On tonight’s edition of Tell E, we have some interesting questions. Let’s get started with one I received via email, from Todd in Lowell.”
I continue to demolish my burger and fries while I listen.
If I accidentally pee in my girlfriend’s butt, will it cause any problems? Will my pee reach her stomach?
Tatum giggles and looks at me.
“What are you looking at me for? I’m not Todd. I know the answer to this like every dude should.”
“Todd from Lowell, thank you for writing in. From what I understand of the male anatomy it’s impossible to pee while having sex whether it’s in a vagina or an asshole. When a male has an erection, the sphincter at the base of his bladder closes so urine cannot pass into his urethra. Only men who’ve had their prostate surgically removed may have some leakage during foreplay or when they climax.” Her tone is extremely professional and I’m impressed she didn’t laugh at the dumbass question. “We have Dave in Foxboro, calling in. Dave what can we do for you?”
“The information you gave about pissing during sex is inaccurate. I piss in my wife all the time.”
“Dave, I can only go by what science tells me. The male body is designed to prevent this from happening.”
“Are you calling me a liar?” He sounds angry.
“No, you sir are a special snowflake. Thank you for calling in. The next email I received is from Laura, AKA Mrs. Bateman.”
How do I convince my celebrity crush we belong together? I’m here, alone, faithful to him and he still hasn’t broken up with his girlfriend. What am I doing wrong? Should I do something drastic like send him naked pics of me? Maybe a visit to his girlf
riend to help her see she’s all wrong for him? I’m getting tired of waiting. I’m not getting any younger and I need to have his babies.
“Okay, Laura. I don’t want to burst your bubble, but you might want to focus on someone who’s more attainable. Put your energy into a guy you already know. Maybe a co-worker who’s been giving you the eye or someone who lives in your neighborhood. Ask some friends to set you up on some dates. Stay busy and keep your mind off the celebrity. Don’t do anything drastic to get his attention. Stalking laws are strict and society doesn’t look favorably on those who abuse them.”
My next client walks in the front door, pulling my focus to the tattoo I’ll be doing for him. It’s a custom piece I’ve been working on for a few visits now. Tonight, I’m finishing it up.
Rising to my feet, I shake his hand and dispose of my trash. As I round the counter to pass in front of Tatum, I pause. “What time are you coming over to vacuum tomorrow?”
13
Josh
Saturdays tend to be long days for me. I’m usually booked around the clock with only a quick dinner break. This one was no different. It’s almost midnight and we’re closing shop. Sean, Tatum and I are heading to C’s Pub for a couple of well-deserved beers. My younger brother Owen should already be there with some of his friends. We texted earlier and made plans to meet up. I haven’t seen him in a couple months. He lives in an apartment just outside the Boston University campus where he’ll be entering his sophomore year. He’s only twenty years old, but he looks like he’s at least my age or maybe older. He’s been a gym rat for the past few years bulking up for football and now he’s one of the starting lineman on the Boston University Terriers. He’s a typical jock all the girls throw their panties at. If it wasn’t for our green eyes no one would be able to tell we were related. His raven black hair is from my mother’s side of the family and his personality is more outgoing than mine. Sometimes I envy Owen’s ability to have fun and not think about responsibilities. Even though I’m the middle brother, I feel like a first born. Jam and my father have been fully immersed in the club life for ten years leaving me to look out for Owen, a responsibility I’ve always taken very seriously.
My eyes take a few seconds to adjust to the dim lighting inside the popular bar. The loud chatter of conversation and music assaults my ears as I move forward. Tatum darts off to some people she knows sitting at a table.
“I’m heading to the bar. What d’ya want to drink?” Sean asks.
“Thanks, man. I’ll take a Sam Adams.” I answer absentmindedly as my eyes scan the space for Owen and his football teammates. They’re easy to spot with their oversized shoulders and intimidating height. I’m not a small guy by any means, coming in over six feet, but these boys have a couple inches on me and about twenty pounds of solid muscle.
“Watch out asshole,” I say, bumping into Owen from behind.
He spins around, an intimidating scowl on his face which morphs into a large grin when he sees it’s me. “Josh, you fucker. You almost got a face full of fist.”
“Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades,” I say, echoing words our father has said to us more times than we can both remember.
He smiles and nods. “Dad and his sage advice. He’s so much more than just an outlaw biker.”
I bark out a laugh. “He really is. Not that anyone would believe it once they got a look at him.”
“Right. If they don’t get stuck on the tattoos then the eight-inch beard is the showstopper.”
“How long has it been since you’ve seen Dad or Jameson?”
“I haven’t seen either of them since they went to Gram’s at Easter.” He raises his bottle of beer to his lips, taking a long pull, before continuing. “I don’t appreciate hearing how my college education is a waste of time and playing football is pointless. If they really think so, they should keep it to themselves out of respect for me.” He pounds on his thick chest for emphasis. “Because it’s important to me. I never shit on the club even though I’m sure decisions they make are questionable.”
“I know, dude, but you know to Dad and Jam the MC is everything. They can’t see past it and the fact that we’re not joining them has to be a source of disappointment.”
Sean walks up and hands off my beer.
“Is this your boyfriend?” Owen asks, with a mischievous grin, lifting his chin in Sean’s direction.
Sean wraps his arm around me. “You told him about us, honey?” He smiles at me, playing along.
“Fuck that. You’re not my type.” I shrug his arm off and sip on the cold brew.
“I’m everyone’s type.” He winks.
“Owen, this is my buddy, Sean. He’s the other tattoo artist at Canvas.”
“Hey, nice to meet you, man. You looked too badass to be with my brother, anyway.” He laughs and whacks my chest with the back of his hand.
“I don’t know, Josh is quite the catch. He’s the owner of the hottest new tattoo studio in the city, and he’s got the broody artist thing going for him. All the girls at the shop try to get his attention, but he doesn’t give them the time of day,” Sean informs him.
“Really?” Owen questions with a raised brow.
“Yep.” Sean raises the bottle to his lips.
“Maybe you are gay. It’s okay if you are, man. I’d never judge you for it.” He looks serious.
“I’m not gay, dude. I like pussy, I’m interested in one in particular, not any thrown my way.”
“Dude, they all feel great. Don’t discriminate,” Owen says and Sean holds his fist out for a bump.
“Yes, they do, but the one I’m interested in is above all others.”
“Who is she? I might need to give her a ride on the ‘O’ train.” He winks.
“You mean the O Express? It’s a quick ride.” I smirk.
Sean chuckles while Owen flips me the bird.
“So, who’s this girl with the unicorn pussy? Have I met her?”
I laugh. “No, you’ve never met her.”
“How can I meet her?” He wiggles his eyebrows.
“Fuck off with that, Owen. It’s one hundred kinds of fucked up you’d even consider sticking your dick where mine’s been.”
“Yeah, but if you used a condom then it’s like it never happened. Your dick didn’t touch her pussy.”
Shaking my head, I look at Sean. “Do you believe this shit?” I gesture at my brother.
“What?” Owen questions.
“Dude, please tell me you’re fucking with me or I’m going to think I didn’t do a very good job of instilling decent morals in you.”
“I didn’t join the club, so I guess you didn’t do too bad.”
“Yeah, but you’re like a man whore sticking your dick in anything with a pussy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you shouldn’t fuck around, but maybe there should be more criteria than having a pussy for the tail you choose.”
“Speaking of sticking my dick in someone, can we continue this conversation some other time?” Owen asks, looking across the bar. Following the direction of his gaze, my stomach clenches when I realize it’s Elle he’s staring at. The hair on my arms stands up at the thought of him even considering touching her. I don’t even want her to be a momentary thought in his one-track mind.
“Dude, don’t even fucking look at her,” I growl.
His eyes narrow as they move to me. “Why can’t I look at her?”
My hand holding the bottle clenches so hard I’m surprised it doesn’t shatter.
“That right there is the unicorn pussy, Josh was talking about.”
“Dude,” he holds his fist out and I bump it. “She’s hot as fuck. I’m proud, man. I didn’t think your game was that good.” He shakes his head, his eyes still on Elle.
“Stop fucking looking at her and stay the fuck away,” I grit out between clenched teeth.
“No worries, bro. Judging by the way she’s looking at you, she feels the same.”
“It’s complicated - too
complicated,” I grumble then swallow down the rest of my beer. Slamming the empty bottle on the table next to us, I shove my hands into the front pockets of my jeans. My heated gaze locks on Elle. I’ve been starved for the sight of her since the last time we were together at the hospital.
“Isn’t it always complicated? Does an uncomplicated relationship even exist?” Owen asks.
“I don’t know. Janny and I weren’t complicated.”
“Right, and you didn’t last. You guys were more friends than lovers. Maybe, complicated means passionate. If there’s no back and forth with someone and you agree with them all the time maybe things get boring.” He shrugs, raising his bottle to his lips.
Thinking over the words he said, I find them to be strangely insightful. Maybe he’s right. I’ve never been afraid of hard work. Maybe, Elle is no different.
Have I been too quick to give up on her? Does she need me to pursue her and show her she’s worth it?
Drinking her in, she’s more beautiful each time I see her. Eyes trekking down from her face to her chest, I notice the way her blue sundress hugs her full tits. Before I realize what I’m doing my feet are in motion and I’m closing the distance between us, purpose in every step I take. She notices me approaching and must sense the determination in my stride because she places her glass down on the nearest table and waits as I approach.
Barely slowing down, I grip her hand and continue toward the back of the bar without a single word. Coming upon a hallway with doors on both sides, I try the handle on the first two and find them both locked. With the third I luck out when the door opens to a decent sized break room. Tugging her inside, I thrust it closed with my hand, locking the handle. Hands still clasped, I direct her toward a table and chairs on the side of the room. Kicking one of the chairs to the side, my hands slip to her waist. Lifting her onto the table, I step between her legs. My hands cup her cheeks as our lips hungrily connect. Her legs wrap around my hips and urge me closer. My chest tightens uncomfortably from the varied emotions Elle stirs up in me. The way she makes me feel...I can’t find the words to express what she makes me feel. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. She brings out passion, need, hope, worry, love and so much more.
