Her fingers tightened against his for a second. Her other hand slipped off his shoulder, but she quickly replaced it. “I . . . uh . . . I didn’t want you to miss anything.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” He let go of her hand and lifted his palm to cup her face. She stilled in his arms. All except for her heartbeat, which he could feel against his chest. He rubbed a thumb across her satin lips. “May I kiss you?”
She was only a breath away. Her eyes traveled down to his lips then lifted back to meet his. She wanted it as much as he did. “Yes.”
He reined in the temptation to crush his mouth to hers with the intensity pent up from all their near misses. He flexed every muscle to keep them under control and slowly bent his neck. Brushing his lips against hers soothed him like the signing of a contract. There was no risk of losing the deal anymore. She was his treasure to be valued.
She returned the kiss, tilting her head to one side and slipping the hand from his shoulder to behind his neck to pull him closer. She tasted like strawberries.
He’d never felt this satisfied before. This was what he’d been looking for ever since kissing the mystery girl at prom. Only this was better. This was Paisley. A woman he knew. A woman he wanted to know better. “Wow.”
She pulled away and bit her lip, as if worried the moment wasn’t real. And it did feel too good to be true. But underneath her hesitation was a smile. “Wow is right.” Her nose wrinkled. “What took you so long to do that?”
He reeled back. Because she’d been using Sam as a shield to block his advances. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Her eyes sparkled, and she settled into his arms, hands clasping behind his neck. “I am.”
Josh relaxed, nuzzling his nose into her flowery-scented hair. He spoke into her ear. “Well I’m willing to make up for lost time if you’d like.”
She laughed, and the sound of it warmed his insides like a mug of hot chocolate. He loved that he could make her laugh. And she’d been joking earlier, too. But she still needed to hear the answer to her question about what took him so long to kiss her.
He wrapped both arms around her waist and swayed to the rhythm as the music penetrated his consciousness once again. “The truth is that you were right to push me away before. I wasn’t ready for a commitment. But now I know what I want.”
She stiffened. But hadn’t she been expecting him to say as much? She should have known he’d fallen for her. Or she never would have let him kiss her.
“I want to stay here with you,” he finished.
She looked away, and when she finally returned her gaze, it didn’t shine with the joy he felt. “You don’t have to do that, Josh.”
Did she not believe him? “I mean it.”
Her hands slid down from his neck. They settled on his biceps as if prepared to push him away again. “Don’t ruin the magic by making promises you don’t know if you can keep.”
Magic? She’d kissed him because attending a ball was like living a fairytale? She thought it would end at the stroke of midnight?
His fingers dug into her lower back. He couldn’t let go. “This is real. What I feel is real.”
She sighed, the puff of breath warm on his skin. “It’s real now. But you’re going to have to return to Chicago at some time, even if it’s to quit your job and sell your condo. And while you’re there, I want you to be free to stay if your feelings change.”
Did she not want him to commit? His eyebrows pinched together as he studied her. If she was really in love with him as Sam claimed, why wouldn’t she say so?
Her gaze flitted about, never settling on his, but when she did make brief eye contact, it was from behind a glaze of grief. Did she still think a relationship with him was impossible?
“Feelings change all the time, Paisley. But love is about commitment.”
She dropped her chin so all he could see were her glittery, gold eyelids and the tops of thick lashes. “I don’t want to be an obligation.”
“Oh, honey.” His belly churned at the idea she didn’t think she was worth choosing over his empty life in the big city.
Her eyelids flicked up at his endearment, revealing a flash of fear in the depths of her irises. “Can we not talk about it? I want to enjoy the night.”
He wanted to protect her from whatever it was that created such dread. But how could he do that if they didn’t talk?
He’d keep dancing with her. He’d hold her hand or wrap his arm around her shoulders. He’d join the line to get their pictures taken with Tracen and Emily. He’d watch her laugh with his family. He’d steal another kiss when nobody was looking. But without knowing he’d have the rest of his life to do so, the actions felt just as empty as his old life. It left a pang in his gut that every moment with her might be his last.
But maybe giving Paisley what she wanted would make her want more. She’d realize one magical night wasn’t enough.
So he’d play Prince Charming. And later, after the magic had ended, he’d repeat his promise. Because fairytales had to end happily-ever-after.
Chapter Twenty
Josh trudged through the snow toward the lodge the next morning, formulating a speech in his head. Actually two speeches. There was the one he’d use if Paisley greeted him with a hug, or better yet, a kiss. Then there was the one he’d use if she turned back into the woman who’d once prayed for him to go home to Chicago. The idea of giving that speech made him want to double over and vomit.
He stomped up the stairs and took a deep breath of icy air before turning the doorknob and entering the great room. The room smelled buttery, but Paisley wasn’t in the kitchen. Nobody was in the great room at all. Were they all still getting ready for church?
Josh swung the door closed and paused. Did he act like everything was normal and make himself a cup of coffee, or did he track down Paisley and kiss her before she had a chance to speak a word. He’d simply continue their magic from the evening before. He’d keep that magic from ever ending.
Laughter floated down the hallway. He followed the sound and found himself at the top of the stairs. Everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves without him.
“Josh did a great job with your website, Paisley. And the cowboy ball last night was dynamite.” Emily’s voice. At least they were talking about him. Paisley must have been showing them what he’d been working on.
“You know he’s always loved horses.” Tracen. “Did you hear about the Christmas where Josh thought Santa brought him a horse?”
Josh waited for Paisley’s response.
“Yes,” she said. “He said that’s what made him want to work on our ranch.”
“Really?” Tracen asked. “I didn’t know that. I figured he just liked to swagger around wearing a giant belt buckle.”
All right . . . enough of that. Josh jogged down the first couple of stairs.
Sam this time. “The girls at school certainly thought he was—”
Josh descended into the daylight basement. “There’s no reason to be jealous anymore, Sam. If you want a girlfriend, all you have to do is ask someone out.”
Tracen roared in laughter. Sam’s cheeks turned pink. Emily sat on the middle of the T-shaped desk, swinging her legs and swiveling her head to watch the conversation bounce around. But Josh only cared about Paisley’s reaction.
She looked up from her spot in front of the computer screen, her face washed fresh and her hair still damp from the shower. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. She indulged him with a smile, but he couldn’t help thinking that she somehow considered his brothers’ statements confirmation he wasn’t going to commit to her.
“If I’d wanted a girlfriend,” Sam countered, “I would have asked Paisley out a long time ago, and you wouldn’t have had a chance, bro.”
Paisley’s lips curved up, but her eyes remained neutral. She was emotionally preparing for her coach to turn back into a pumpkin.
Tracen rose and slapped Josh on the shoulder. He seemed to be relishing his brothers’ re
lationship problems a little too much. “I’m not sure what you see in this guy, Paisley, but if you don’t mind his expensive taste or the way he can err on the arrogant side, then we would love to have you in the family.”
Paisley’s eyebrows lifted, but there was no humor in her expression.
“In fact, you might be exactly what he needs to—”
Emily rose and placed a hand on Tracen’s chest. She looked between Josh and Paisley. The color had drained from Paisley’s face. “Let’s go check on that puff pancake in the oven, Tracen.”
“What? I was . . .” His voice faded as Emily pushed him up the stairs.
Sam jumped to his feet. “I think I’ll go eat, unless anyone here needs me for anything.” He peeked at Paisley like he thought she might need him to chaperone again.
Had she said something that would make Sam think that? Paisley gave a small shake of her head, and Josh sank into the spot Emily had vacated. Might as well address the awkwardness so they could get to the important stuff.
He rubbed a hand over his face. “It sounds like my family likes you more than they like me.”
She slumped in the swivel chair and gave a small smile. That was better than turning toward the computer but not as good as standing and putting her arms around him. “You are blessed to have them.”
Josh nudged her seat with his foot. He needed to make a connection somehow. “You could have them, too,” he said.
She didn’t say anything. Simply looked at him as if there was something she couldn’t say. Something he wouldn’t understand. Why wouldn’t she talk?
She opened her mouth. At last he’d know what was going on inside her head.
The phone rang on the desk. Josh jolted. Was he really that on edge?
Paisley pressed shiny lips together and leaned forward to reach past him and grab the old cordless receiver. “Bright Star Ranch. May I help you?”
Josh propped his hands behind him to lean back and stare at the wooden beams on the ceiling. The call gave him a few minutes to remember what he’d been planning to say on the hike up the hill. He’d always had the right words with women. But not this woman. He needed God’s help. Because getting through to her could take divine intervention.
“You want to speak with Josh?”
Josh’s spine snapped upright. Only his boss had this number.
“Here he is.” Paisley held out the phone, her eyes wide in surprise.
Josh shook his head to communicate that he didn’t know what the call was about. Did he lose his job? Was that God’s answer to his prayer for intervention? Because then Paisley wouldn’t have to feel like she had to compete. He gripped the smooth plastic of the receiver and held it to his ears. “Josh here.”
“Josh.” His boss paused.
That sounded bad. That sounded like he was being let go. Fear of failure fired up his pulse and drenched his scalp in a cold sweat. Because what if Paisley didn’t want to be with a man who couldn’t keep a job? If he got terminated for idea theft, might she believe he’d actually been guilty the way Bree had? Did he want her in the room for this?
He reached for her hand resting on the arm of her chair and engulfed her fingers in his. Yes, he wanted her in the room. Always. No matter what Marcus had to say.
“It was Bree,” Marcus said.
Josh rocked forward, his hips slid off the edge of the desk, and his feet planted on the ground. He squeezed Paisley’s hand tighter. She was his lifeline as thoughts and emotions swirled about him like a whirlpool.
“Bree?” he echoed.
She’d stolen his ideas? But she’d accused him of lying. And she was living in his condo. Had she just wanted him gone so he wouldn’t figure it out when she suddenly had millions of dollars to spend?
His mouth hung open. This new information did not compute. Because if she could do that to him, then she’d never loved him in the first place. She didn’t reject him. She used him.
Paisley studied him with concern. Did she understand what was going on?
“Yeah. She must have copied your files from your computer then gone to the competition. I’m so sorry.”
Marcus was sorry? Josh shook his head even though the other man couldn’t see. Josh was the one who should be sorry. He’d let the theft happen. Goodness, he’d proposed to the thief.
No wonder their relationship had been so easy. Bree had made it easy.
“What . . .” What was he asking? Pieces and parts of the puzzle clicked together, creating a picture of his life that wasn’t pretty. “What happens now?”
“We are pressing charges against Bree. That part is tough, but I have good news, too. I explained everything to Computex, and they still want to sign with us.”
“Oh man.” Josh sank back to sit on the desk again. Relief poured from his toes and fingertips. His relationship with Bree hadn’t screwed everything up after all. “That’s huge.”
“Great Christmas gift, huh?” Marcus chuckled. “Can you make it back to sign the contract tomorrow?”
Josh scrunched his eyes closed. He must not have heard that right. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. The contract could wait a few more days. Besides he wasn’t leaving Paisley over the holidays. “No.”
“We need you, Josh. The CEO of Computex is headed to New York for New Year’s, and we have to get this deal done before he goes.”
Josh balled his fists before realizing he still had Paisley’s fingers in his hand. He relaxed his grip and ran a thumb over her knuckles. Her eyes didn’t reflect any pain from his tight clasp, but she studied him through a narrowed gaze as if trying to follow the one side of the conversation. If only he could cover the mouthpiece and assure her he wasn’t leaving.
“Marcus, I’m spending Christmas with family. You sign the contract.” His shoulders knotted with tension.
“I wish I could. Seriously, I wish I could. But you are the one who pitched the CEO, and he wants to make sure we are patching things up with you after the misunderstanding and suspension.” Marcus clicked his tongue. “Besides, don’t you want to get to work right away? This deal is a record breaker, buddy.”
Josh let go of Paisley to massage his temples. He hadn’t wanted to be fired, but this was almost worse. He had to let a lot of people down to keep his promise to Paisley. His guts clenched. “I’m not going to be working at Synergy anymore. I’m moving to Montana.”
Paisley stood in front of him. Was she finally going to step into his embrace? Did she finally understand he wasn’t playing her?
She walked around him toward the stairs. What? Why? He stretched for her hand to pull her back. She moved beyond his reach.
“Josh, that’s ridiculous. Are you trying to get me back? Because I couldn’t be more sorry . . .” Marcus droned on.
Josh spun around on the desk to swing his legs over the other side and block Paisley’s path. He needed to get off the phone so he could talk to her. Though he hadn’t planned a speech for this.
He stood and set a hand on her shoulder. “Wait,” he whispered.
She wouldn’t look him in the eye, but she stayed in place.
“Marcus, I’m not trying to get you back. I’ve just found something else I want to do with my life.”
Pause. “A woman? Josh, you’re on the rebound. That’s not real.”
Josh cringed at the possibility Paisley could make out his boss’s words.
She turned her head away and covered her mouth. She’d heard.
Josh wanted to throw the phone the way Paisley had thrown her shoe when she hadn’t gotten her bank loan. “Marcus, I’m moving to Montana.”
“Fine.” Big sigh. “But you still have to be here for this deal to go through. Don’t let the whole company down, Josh. We can take over from here. In fact, you could work from Montana as our consultant if you want. You wouldn’t get as big a share of the money, but you’d still get something. It’s the best of both worlds. You must be here tomorrow to make it happen.”
Josh shook his head. He didn’t want to
leave for Christmas, but as Paisley had pointed out, he’d have to return some time to get his stuff and sell his condo. If he went the next day, he could get all that done and come back to Paisley sooner so she wouldn’t keep pushing him away. Plus, he’d have the opportunity to make an income through the ad campaign. Then he would actually be able to buy Paisley a ring. She may not understand his decision right away, but eventually she’d realize he’d done it for her.
“Okay. I’ll be there.” Josh clicked the button to hang up the phone and got rid of it to focus on Paisley.
“Hey.” He cupped her soft face in both hands so he could get her to look at him. “Hey.”
Her eyelids finally lifted. Wariness hid her emotions, but she wrapped fingers around his wrists as if ready to knock his hold away and bolt. He’d rather she cry and beg him not to leave. At least then he’d be hearing directly from the source how she felt rather than having to rely on Sam.
He tilted his head to beseech her. “I have to fly to Chicago tomorrow morning. But only to sign a deal and put my condo on the market. I told my boss I’m moving here, and I mean it. I want to be with you.”
She pulled his hands down. He slid them to lock fingers with her.
Her chest rose as she took a deep breath. “I’m glad you’re going home.”
His heart stopped. Wasn’t he supposed to be prepared for her to do this? But he was being vulnerable, which had left him open for attack.
Did she not care about him at all? Had Sam been wrong? Had he imagined their connection when dancing? “What about last night?”
She rocked away slightly. She swallowed. Her face contorted then returned to its neutral expression. He hated that expression.
“Last night was amazing, but it was one night.”
Why wouldn’t she want amazing all the time?
“And your boss is right. You’re on the rebound.”
Gah. Josh squeezed her hands. “A rebound relationship is when someone is trying to fill a void that another person left behind. Bree didn’t leave a void. You will.”
Would he not leave a void in her life? That didn’t seem fair.
Finding Love In Big Sky, Montana (Resort to Love--Finding Love line Book 2) Page 20
