Paisley nodded. She took a deep breath. No more heart thawing, just a good old fashioned pep talk. God had blessed her with friends, a beautiful home, and a purpose. She had all she needed.
Annabel opened her arms wide like Vanna White revealing the prize on a gameshow. “But is this all you want, Paisley?”
The rest of the shell around her heart broke off like an iceberg. She crashed into the truth with the impact of Titanic.
She wanted more. Her throat constricted, but she choked out the word, “No.” She shook her head. No, this wasn’t all she wanted. She may have to deal with a disease that wouldn’t let her have children. But God hadn’t left her to deal with it alone. He’d given her a man who wanted to be there for her through it. God had given her more than she’d dared hope for. He’d led Josh to her ranch, and she’d almost missed it. “I want to share all this with Josh.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
“Joshua is heading into town for gas. Hop on the back of the snowmobile with Dot, and she’ll beat him to Highway 64.”
Highway 64? They might beat him taking snowmobile trails, but Paisley would have a better chance if she rode through the trees. “I appreciate your offer, Annabel, but I have another idea.”
Paisley grabbed a saddle. Cassidy neighed. But she wasn’t taking Cass out this time. She’d take Butch. Not only was he faster, but he was the horse Josh rode. And Josh had been wanting his own horse for Christmas for a very long time.
A smile started within and grew until her cheeks burned with it as she bridled and saddled the magnificent animal. This was what it was like to love. And it felt a whole lot different from locking herself in a room, pretending to protect someone else when she was the scared one.
Josh was right that her parents never taught her about love. Annabel had taught her more about it in one moment than her parents had taught her in a lifetime. She’d taught Paisley that in order to fly, she might have to crash a few times.
Paisley was created to spread her wings. To soar. To rise above.
A rush of adrenaline surged through her veins as she stepped a foot into the stirrups and mounted. She gripped the reins and sat tall.
“Pray for me, Annabel.”
Annabel held a hand to her heart. “I’ve been praying for you since before we met.”
Where would Paisley be without the woman? More tears welled up. Paisley had thought she was alone, yet God had never left her. He’d provided someone to step into the shoes Grandpa left behind. He’d known what she’d needed before she did.
“All this time you and Grandpa called me a treasure.” Paisley turned the horse in a circle to keep him from trotting out the barn door. “For the first time, I feel valuable.”
Annabel stepped away from the horse’s impatient hooves. “Your value doesn’t come from me or Johan. It doesn’t come from Josh. It comes from God, and you have to accept it from Him before you can accept it from anyone else. Then you can accept He has good things planned for your life.”
Paisley reached for the pendant resting against her chest. The star was a symbol the magi followed to bring treasure to baby Jesus. They honored Him for loving them enough to come into the world and meet them where they were at. Jesus would meet anyone where they were at. That was the real treasure.
“I accept.” Too bad she hadn’t been ready to accept the meaning of God’s gift before Josh left. Before she had to ride after him. But nothing would stop her now.
Annabel patted her leg. “Go get ‘em, treasured one.”
Paisley squeezed her legs together to signal Butch she was ready. As they trotted through the barn door, she pushed to an almost standing position and leaned forward along Butch’s mane to duck out of the wind.. Butch seemed to sense her urgency. They glided together across the snow, hoof beats racing her heart beat.
She was doing this. She was really doing this. She was chasing down the man she’d always been afraid to love.
He’d said he loved her. He said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He said it was okay if she couldn’t have kids. It was still scary, but scary in a good way. Scary in the way that even if he didn’t catch her when she fell next time, she knew God would.
But then there was also a part of her that felt safe. A part that knew she could trust Josh. A part that knew he was a better man than her father. And if he didn’t drop her, if he didn’t let her down the way she’d feared, life was going to be better than she’d ever imagined it could be.
Josh had said he wanted her to be his family.
She pinched her lips together to keep from sobbing as the possibilities washed over her. The possibility of having in-laws.
Sam had always felt like a brother. Now he was actually going to be a brother.
And Josh’s older siblings already had kids. That meant she was going to be an aunt.
And Josh’s parents were going to be her mother-in-law and father-in-law. A couple who loved each other in spite of each other.
And then there was the famous sister-in-law. The one who’d changed her holiday plans to help Paisley raise money for the ranch before they’d even met. Would Paisley be invited to the Sundance Film Festival in Utah? She knew if it was up to Emily, she would be.
What were the odds? An hour ago she wouldn’t have even considered it.
The tiny speck of a town grew in the distance. She had to make it. She had to catch Josh before Butch ran out of energy.
Her ragged breaths puffed into the frigid air, but she wasn’t cold anymore. Her thighs burned and sweat beaded on her brow.
Butch continued to climb through the snow, his muscles rippling under her touch. “You can do this, Butch. You can do this.”
What if they didn’t make it? She could try to call Josh, but coverage would be spotty. She might not get hold of him before he boarded his plane.
She’d ride to The Coffee Cottage. She’d have Sam drive her to the airport in Bozeman. If she missed him, she’d get the first flight to Chicago. Because if she didn’t have to be alone anymore, why would she choose to be alone on Christmas?
Sam wouldn’t mind. He’d watch the ranch for her. And she’d make sure Dot and Annabel took him pastries for breakfast. She’d promise to buy him lots of ice cream when she returned.
She laughed at the idea. Sam was like a big kid, and she needed to know how to take care of kids when her camp started.
Her joy turned poignant. She could have kids now. No, not biologically. But she and Josh could adopt. She’d have the stability and family to offer a child. An unwanted child. Like she had been.
The lure of doubt wiggled inside her as if she’d swallowed a worm on a hook, but she wasn’t going to be caught by fear again that easily. She didn’t know what the future held, but she knew God treasured her. And a little insecurity couldn’t keep her from opening the gift He’d prepared for her that day.
The gift came in the form of a silver Mercedes with antlers pulling out of the gas station ahead. Josh had left the antlers on. That had to mean something.
Her pulse throbbed in her temples. She leaned forward farther and straightened out her spine even more as if it would get her across the field to the street sooner.
“Come on, Butch. Almost there.”
She had to get Josh to see her before he disappeared around the bend in the road. She willed Josh to look over his left shoulder.
The little sports car handled the snow pretty well. Too well. She’d been gaining on him, but now that he was headed out of town, he was able to pick up speed.
“No.” She panted. “Help, Lord. Please help me catch him.”
But it was too late. The coupe slowed long enough to round the corner toward The Coffee Cottage. Then it shot out of sight.
Josh jammed his finger against the power button for the radio. On his way to Big Sky from Chicago, he’d wanted to listen to songs like “Blue Christmas.” Now he didn’t want to listen to anything.
Annabel had acted like The Miracle on 34th Street was goi
ng to become The Miracle on 64 when she’d left to talk to Paisley. He’d been absurd to hope. He couldn’t put his hope in anything but God. So he’d spend the flight home in prayer. He had some making up to do for all the years he’d been going his own way.
“What now, Lord?” He’d heard once that it was hard to listen to God when you weren’t at wit’s end, because you had so many other options. Josh had no other options now. He wanted God’s will for his life. Nothing else. “I need direction.”
He stepped on the gas to blow past The Coffee Cottage. So many good memories there. It hurt to think what he was leaving behind.
A snowmobile darted from the trees toward the coffee shop, but it stopped in the middle of the dry road. Red hair flew underneath the helmet of the second rider. Annabel? And . . . ?
Josh slammed on the brakes to slow. But even as he gripped the steering wheel tighter, his palms itched with excitement. Was Paisley with her? Had the coffee store owner succeeded where he’d failed?
The front rider pulled off her helmet. Spiky, silver hair stood on end. Dot.
Josh waved the women out of his way. Annabel stood. Climbed off the machine.
He’d have to go around them. There was nothing more they could do for him.
Motion to his right caught his eye.
Sam?
What was the kid doing? Running towards the road, waving his arms? He was going to get himself hurt.
Fine. Josh would stop. Until he could get the fruitcakes to go back into the nut house.
Then he’d head home for Christmas. Though Chicago didn’t feel like home anymore.
He rolled to a stop on the highway and shifted to park. That’s when he heard it.
Horse hooves. They weren’t just clopping along like when pulling a sleigh. They were pounding the road like in a Western movie. He could almost hear the theme song to The Lone Ranger.
Did Josh dare look in the rearview mirror? Was God really going to answer his prayers in the form of a woman riding a horse after him? Or was he still dreaming?
He held his breath and flicked his gaze to the rearview mirror. Sure enough. Paisley’s tiny figure rocked above the image of Butch slowly cantering his way.
He dropped his head against the heated leather headrest that had once seemed so important to his happiness. The old Josh had worked hard to prove himself. The new Josh had found everything he’d ever wanted simply by being still. Now all he had to do was open his door and embrace the best Christmas gift he’d ever received. He couldn’t keep from grinning all the way to the toes of his ridiculously expensive boots.
Sam, Dot, and Paisley stood in front of his windshield, their smiles every bit as wide.
The horse hooves slowed.
Josh gripped the handle. He swung the door wide and stepped into the road. Good thing traffic was light for the holidays.
He bolted out of the car and pivoted to face the woman on the horse. He didn’t know what had changed her mind. But one thing was for sure, they’d come a long way since they’d met at the coffee shop the week after Thanksgiving.
“Paisley Sheridan. What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be on top of a Christmas tree this time of year?”
Her pink cheeks flushed even darker. She bit her lip as she pulled on Butch’s reins to halt a few feet away. She swung one leg over the saddle and joined him in the middle of the road, then reached over to stroke the heaving horse’s neck. “Good boy, Butch. You did it.” Her head tilted his way and her eyes narrowed. “I’ve heard that line before. You’re going to have to do better.”
Oh-ho. Josh lifted his eyebrows. Even after she’d chased him down on her horse, she was still going to act all sassy. He loved her for it.
He looked over his shoulder at Sam and the gang. If they wanted a show, they were going to get a show.
Josh stepped forward, bent down on one knee, and took Paisley’s hand.
Her eyes flooded but continued to sparkle. She squeezed her fuzzy mittens against his fingers.
Sam whooped. Dot clapped. Annabel giggled.
Josh took a deep breath of crisp air. He used to be so suave. He used to charm. He used to make people feel good about themselves so they would like being around him. But that was before he realized that the only people whose love mattered were those who accepted him for himself.
Paisley liked to tease him for his quirks. She liked to laugh at his eccentricities. And he loved listening to her laugh. With as long as it had taken them to get to this place, they’d either have to laugh or cry.
Her head bowed to focus on him. Her lips curved up. Her eyes sought his but not with uncertainty or longing. They flashed with satisfaction.
He felt it, too. There they were in the middle of a Montana road. His car dressed like Rudolph. His brother and fan club cheering him on. Yet there was nowhere else he’d rather be. And there was nothing else he could think to say except . . . “Is your name Christmas? Because I want to merry you.”
She threw her head back, her laughter ringing like bells through the clear blue sky. An actual answer to his question wouldn’t have been any sweeter.
He rose to join her and wrap his arms around her back. And he couldn’t help but brush his lips across hers once. Twice. A taste of forever.
Sam and Company cheered. A car horn honked.
He ignored it all to lean his forehead against hers. “I’ll propose again for real after we pick out rings. I just want you to know I’m serious about staying here in Big Sky. I’m serious about you.”
She grinned up at him. “I was hoping you’d still say you were serious about me, though I wasn’t expecting a proposal today.”
“No?” He’d propose every day for the rest of his life if it meant holding her like this. But this had to be a once in a lifetime moment. She’d ridden after him on horseback, for St. Nick’s sake. “What changed your mind? What had you chasing me down?”
“I realized that truly loving someone means giving to someone even when you don’t know if you’re going to get anything in return.”
Walking away from Paisley had been the hardest lesson of Josh’s life. He would have preferred for love to be a sales pitch. He would have preferred a money-back guarantee. But then he would have missed out on the joy of receiving it as a gift.
She leaned away, and his heart throbbed at the loss of intimacy until she lifted a hand between them and pulled her Bright Star necklace from inside her jacket. “Thank you.”
It looked perfect on her. Not only did the size of the charm and the length of the chain hang around her neck as if it was made for her, which it had been, but it symbolized who she was created to be. She was beautiful, wild, and tough like the state of Montana. And her determination and passion for life shined brightly like a star.
The piece had cost more than he’d been able to afford at the time, but it had been worth every penny. And now, it was only the beginning of the gifts he would love to lavish on her. “Do you like it?”
She relaxed back into his embrace, her face softening, her eyes radiating with a wonder he doubted would ever get old. “You couldn’t have gotten me anything better.”
He hugged her tight, promising to outdo himself next year.
She pushed against his chest. He didn’t want to let her go, but they’d have to get out of the middle of the highway sometime. He’d follow her lead.
She reached for Butch’s reins. “I have something for you.”
“You do?” She hadn’t put a package with his name on it under the tree. He knew because he’d checked before he left. It had hurt to think she hadn’t cared enough to want to give him something for Christmas, even though what he’d really wanted was her heart.
“I do.” She held the reins out to him.
Did she need him to hold Butch while she dug a package from the saddle bags? He gripped the leather straps in one hand and watched and waited.
She stood there, watching him as well.
He gave a confused smile. He didn’t mind st
aring at each other, but he got the feeling he was missing something.
She held a hand over her mouth.
Laughter burst from behind him. Though with Sam, it sounded more like a guffaw.
Josh twisted around to quiz his brother with a look.
Sam shook his head in disappointment. “She’s giving you the horse, dum-dum. She’s giving you what you’ve wanted ever since that Christmas I was in kindergarten.”
She was giving him Butch? Sure, Josh had told Paisley that story, but he’d never imagined . . . In fact, he was more shocked now than he had been to wake up at age seven to find a horse in his front yard. He spun to face Paisley and confirm Sam’s words.
She beamed up at him, her warmth as inviting as the huge stone fireplace at the lodge. It was like he was a kid again, running to retrieve his stocking on Christmas morning. Though Paisley was giving him something Santa never had.
Josh looked at the Fjord in a new light. He swallowed over the lump forming in his throat. “You’re giving me Butch?”
She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m giving you everything.”
More squealing and cheering from their audience as he cupped her face like blinders on a horse to make sure he had her full attention. “The Bible says every good and perfect gift is from above. I will treasure you like the gift you are, Paisley Therese.”
Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “Min skatt?”
“Min skatt.”
The thing he’d learned about Christmas this year was that God had already given him everything. God was enough. Which meant Paisley was a cherry on top of the sundae. Or, more appropriately, the star that lighted his way.
—The End—
And Now . . . for the REST of the story . . .
and a few little things you might enjoy
Finding Love In Big Sky, Montana (Resort to Love--Finding Love line Book 2) Page 26
