by Alex Brown
But where was Bella? And why was Harvey here instead? And for some reason that she couldn’t fathom, April had an instinctive feeling that she had been set up somehow. But how? And why? And then Harvey confirmed it.
‘Had an inkling you’d be here.’ He grinned and indicated the picnic basket. ‘So I thought, if you don’t want to go out, out with me … if you know what I mean,’ he shrugged and held up his palms, ‘it’s OK, I get it, Tindledale is a small place. Incestuous. And I don’t blame you for not wanting people to gossip, and they probably would if they saw us together in the Duck & Puddle. Sooooo, I came up with this plan. Popped the note in your letterbox – bit cheeky of me – and then came down here to set it all up, and voila!’ He gestured expansively around the wagon. ‘Our very own private dining experience. What do you say?’ He was rubbing his hands together now, like he couldn’t wait to get stuck into the picnic! And April … given half a chance!
She dipped her head and put a hand to her face to stop the smile, born from his sheer audacity, from turning into a full-blown laugh. Incredible. And a lovely idea, the wagon did look amazing and he’d clearly made a lot of effort, buuuuut … this really wasn’t what she wanted.
‘Um … well, I’m …’ April felt flabbergasted and quite unable to actually say anything more which was just as well as he took her hand, grabbed the hamper and went to go outside. Harvey really was something else. Not short of confidence, she’d give him that.
‘Come on. Wait till you see this.’ And before she could protest, she found herself tripping back down the steps after him and out into the sunshine and around the back of the wagon where a red-and-white checked blanket was laid out on the grass with a big pile of oversized cushions plumped around it. ‘What do you reckon? You and me?’ The innuendo hung in the air.
‘Oh Harvey, this is very lovely, but I can’t …’ April could feel panic rising within her. It was too much. Too soon. Thoughts of Gray flooded her head. She could feel her chest rising and falling. Her heartbeat quickening. Hyperventilating.
‘I knooooow,’ he smiled, nodding slowly. ‘You’re overwhelmed. Don’t worry, babe, I get it. Bet nobody has laid on a romantic spread like this for you before.’
April swallowed hard, her mouth felt like a sandpit, drained of saliva.
She had to get away.
Now.
And fast.
All she could think of was Gray. His face. His smell. His touch. What the hell was happening to her? Talking with Nancy about Matt. She didn’t want to feel a spark with another man. All she wanted was Gray.
And all of sudden, a ferocious rage hurtled right through her, like a juggernaut with broken brakes. Out of control. Damn him for dying.
DAMN HIM.
DAMN HIM.
DAAAAAMN HIIIIIM.
‘NOOOOOO.’ The sound that came out of April’s mouth was animalistic. Feral almost. Like an injured animal trapped in a snare.
And then she was running.
Running as if her life depended on it. Through the orchard. Up and over the stile. Through the next orchard. Tears stung in her eyes, blurring her vision, making her oblivious to the fruit trees scraping at the bare skin on her arms as she collided with the branches. Breaking them. Buffeting apples and pears all around. Desperate to get back. Back to the wonderful, cosy, familiar life that she once had with Gray.
‘WHOA!’ April felt her body brake as she ran headlong into a chest. Her face made contact with cotton fabric. Arms around her. She pulled back. Sleeve tattoos. ‘You OK? What’s going on?’ It was Matt.
April scrubbed at her face with her palms, desperate to stem the tears and slow her pounding heart. She put her hands on her hips and bent over, in a desperate attempt to catch her breath.
‘I … I … I’m sorry, I …’ she tried.
‘It’s OK,’ Matt said softly, his eyes scanning all around on hyper-alert, as if searching for the source of the danger, the reason for April’s distress. ‘No rush. Just take your time. Here, why don’t you sit on this old tree stump.’ And he took her by the elbow and steered her towards it so she could sit. He’d never seen anything like this. She looked distraught. Petrified. It was a good job Bella and Nancy had asked him to come and check on April in the orchard. She’d been gone ages, apparently, Bella had said, and they were getting worried about her out in this sweltering afternoon sun, so would he ‘take this over to her?’ And he still had April’s straw sun hat in his hand. Clenched now, balled into a fist ready to strike at whatever, or whoever, had hurt her. He would give them a bloody good thump too. Terrorising women was disgusting. Maybe there was someone hiding out here after all. Harvey had thought so on that day when he’d called him over to fetch Bella, having found her in the gypsy wagon.
And where was Harvey now? He should be here helping April. Only last night in the pub, he had been going on about his big plan, another grand gesture intended to impress her. That was Harvey all over, he loved wooing the women, always had. Ever since he had rocked up in Tindledale fifteen years ago, having bought the old fruit farm for cash. For a hobby more than anything, keep him busy, he’d said. His wife was the one with the money though. She was someone important in the City of London. A QC, he seemed to remember Harvey having said – not that it really mattered, Matt had never met her. She rarely came to Tindledale. Instead, she worked hard and earned shedloads of money – married to her job, that was how Harvey had explained it.
Matt glanced at April; she seemed to be recovering now. He handed her the sun hat.
‘You should put this on.’
‘Thank you.’ His eyes met hers, briefly, before he forced himself to look away. It baffled him. From the moment he had first seen her at the roadside in the lane, lost, he had found himself tongue-tied, like the shy kid he had been all those years ago. But he wasn’t like that now. He was normally laid-back, easy-going, having grown into his own skin, as they say. He was a grown man now, but he was smitten all over again. It was stupid, he knew that. And he’d never go there. Not when she was seeing Harvey. He had been bragging about it. But the thing that Matt really couldn’t get his head around was … why would a woman like April want to carry on with a married man? She was attractive in a way that meant she could take her pick of the men, so why settle for Harvey who already had a wife? And April was clever, insightful and kind. The advice she had given him in the bedroom that day had worked a treat – Bella seemed much less angry with him these days and was quite taken with April too, she never stopped going on about her.
But Harvey had implied that April knew he had a wife and was fine with it. Matt wasn’t though. As a rule, he didn’t like women like that, or men, for that matter – the bloke that Zoe left him for had known too, known that Zoe was a wife and a mum. But if Matt’s head knew that, then why could he feel his heart falling for April again? He so easily could have taken her in his arms that day in the bedroom. He’d wanted to so badly, to kiss her, just like he had that day in the buttercup field. But she didn’t even remember him. Admittedly, he had changed a lot, beyond all recognition it seemed, but maybe she just wasn’t as into him as she had been all those years ago. He had cast his mind back, to see if he could remember much else about that summer, and he couldn’t … apart from his brother, Jack, he had no idea who he had hung around with, so it was most likely the same for April, she had simply blanked it from her mind. He could hardly go, ‘It’s me, Matthew, from twenty-five years ago!’ Not now, it was too late. He wouldn’t make a mug of himself like that – he should have done it right away at the roadside, as soon as he recognised her, but he’d been so bamboozled.
It was insane. And it rattled him, like nothing had in a very long time, but at what cost? If he did go there with April one day he’d lose his mate, Harvey, for sure, but maybe it’d serve him right, given his history. And what about April’s husband dying? He bet Harvey hadn’t even given that a second thought. It hadn’t sounded like it was that long ago either when April told him, maybe she was still cut up
about it and Harvey was the kind of love rat that could really hurt her. Matt didn’t want that. And what about Bella? She had to come first, being a child. Especially if April was the type to mess with a married man, it could be Zoe all over again. No, it was bloody wrong and he had seen first hand the damage it caused. Adultery. Affairs and all that. Bella was still affected by it all these years later. So there was no way he was making that mistake again. He couldn’t risk it. Not even for the vision that he had first clapped eyes on as a mere boy all those years ago.
April was lying on the old brass bed in the attic bedroom, staring at the ceiling, at the freshly painted patch where the roof had fallen in, wondering what on earth Matt must be thinking of her. After she had got her breath back, she had stood up off the tree stump, politely thanked him for bringing her sun hat, and promptly walked off back here to Orchard Cottage, just leaving him standing there. And her cheeks were still burning with embarrassment and humiliation at having lost it like that. And what must Harvey be thinking? Yes, he’d got it so very wrong, but the picnic, the decorated gypsy wagon and everything … he had made a lot of effort! She had to apologise. To both men. And pronto.
April went to sit up. And stopped when the door opened slowly.
‘Only me. Edie is having a snooze in her bedroom so I thought I’d come and see how you are.’ It was Nancy with a mug of tea and a plate of biscuits. After placing them on the cabinet by the bed, she sat down. ‘April, we never meant to upset you …’
‘What do you mean?’ April tidied her hair and sat up.
‘You know, trying to fix you up with Matt – we only wanted to help things along. Bella and me. Well, more me than Bella … she’s just a kid, so please don’t blame her. But she reckons her dad likes you too, and you know how fond she is of you, I think she’d love nothing more than for you to hook up with her dad. Anyway, we thought if he brought your sun hat to you, and the pair of you were alone in the orchard, and the sun was shining … and well, you might go for a little walk, pick a few flowers, you know … it might get romantic … just like it did for Winnie and Finch. So I thought I could create the moment, help things along a little.’ She stopped talking. Silence followed. ‘I guess I didn’t really think at all …’ Nancy grinned sheepishly.
‘It’s fine, darling. Honestly.’ April placed her hand over Nancy’s and gave it a reassuring pat before picking up the mug of tea. ‘And thanks for this.’ She took a sip and looked away.
‘Well, it clearly isn’t! I couldn’t believe it when you came running across the garden, head down, no explanation, and straight up here. I’ve never seen you like that before. And look at the state of you.’ April raised her eyebrows as she took another mouthful of the warm, sweet tea and attempted to tidy her hair with her free hand. ‘Oh no, not like that. Please, don’t start all that again – you used to do it before, worry about your appearance and all that. Do you remember on your birthday? When you thought I was criticising your hair?’
‘Hmm, vaguely,’ she muttered. It was true, she had thought so, and had worried about it too. But she hadn’t been in such a good place then, vulnerable and sensitive, but it was OK now, and she felt so much better in herself, which was even more reason why her reaction earlier was a shock. She really had thought she was strong again, had got it together and was going forward … it just went to show how sneaky grief can be. How it can strike at any time. Well, she’d have to protect herself, be better prepared so she didn’t panic again. That was the worst part, the panic. She’d not let it happen a second time though. No, she’d come up with a strategy and just politely excuse herself if she felt rushed or uncom-fortable. Or explain! That was always an option. But then, she didn’t want potential new partners feeling sorry for her, pity was an awful thing.
It was such a minefield, and she really wasn’t prepared for all this. Gray had never so much as hinted at her meeting someone after he’d gone, the topic had never come up so she hadn’t considered it at all, not wanting to waste a precious second of the time she had with him by thinking about all the time she wouldn’t have with him.
‘April, you’ve come so far since Dad died,’ Nancy broke into April’s thoughts. ‘And you’re blooming beautiful, do you hear me? Even if you do look shaken and your eyes are all puffy and red from crying. Please stay strong, any new bloke would be bloody lucky to have you, and this is just a hiccup. A stupid mistake on my part. I got it wrong, I rushed you. I just don’t want you to be single for the rest of your life. Trust me, I know all about that, and it’s no fun …’ She paused, with a pondering look on her face, and then added, ‘Matt didn’t push his luck, did he? You know, try to snog you or something? He really doesn’t seem the type. That Harvey on the other hand—’
‘Pardon?’ April jumped in and managed a smile as she shook her head. ‘Nooo, no, nothing like that! I was the one who made a fool of myself.’
‘Really? What did you do? I’ll kill him if he turned you down. Did you make the first move?’ Nancy’s eyes enlarged to the size of dinner plates.
And after offering her stepdaughter a Jammie Dodger biscuit, April told her all about it.
*
‘Oh my God, April. I’m going to throttle him!’ Nancy exhaled long and hard, shaking her head. ‘He sure is one very fruity fruit farmer! Laying out a blanket and all with cushions like he’d prepared some kind of lair in which to woo you. Have “sexy time” in the sun. And I bet he says that kind of thing. Euwwww!’ She pulled a face and stuffed another biscuit, whole, into her mouth in disgust.
‘Pleeeeease. Stop it!’ April cringed all over again. ‘He wasn’t to know how I would react. He doesn’t know about Gray – and I’m sure there are plenty of women who would love such a romantic gesture. A gourmet picnic, champagne, and he’s not bad looking …’
‘Hmm, if you say so. Personally, I think he looks a bit Miami Vice, and not in a cool way, with that wavy hair and all. And what’s with that deerstalker hat? Please tell me he wasn’t wearing it when he tried to get you on the blanket!’
‘No.’ April shook her head and laughed, feeling so much better now that she could see the funny side of it. She would still need to apologise of course, to explain, but it wasn’t the end of the world.
‘Well, that’s something I guess!’ Nancy smirked. ‘Right. Now, are you going to wallow in bed all afternoon or are you going to get up, get a smile on your face and stay classy, lady?’ She patted the bed, tilted her head to one side and petulantly pushed her bottom lip out.
‘Yes, boss!’ April took a deep breath and laughed some more before finishing the last of her tea. After putting the mug down, she swung her legs over the side and down on to the rug that covered the newly fixed floorboards. ‘The first two I can do … not sure about the third one, mind you.’ She rolled her eyes and made a silly face and both women cracked up.
‘Good-o! Just give me a second to get rid of them in that case …’
‘Them? What do you mean?’ April said, horrified.
‘Both blokes are waiting downstairs for you.’ Nancy raised her eyebrows, but then instantly added, ‘JOKE’ on seeing her stepmum’s face.
As the two women sauntered out of the bedroom and along the landing, with plans of drinking more iced cider and lazing in the sun, April decided she would call Matt and Harvey this evening to apologise. That would give her time to properly get herself together so she sounded mature and measured, instead of hysterical and irrational.
They reached the top of the tiny staircase. And it was Nancy who saw it first, through the tiny criss-cross-framed window on the landing. She grabbed April’s arm and motioned for her to see too. And all thoughts of apologising and lazing in the sun drinking iced cider vanished in an instant. Both women stared at each other, their faces drained deathly white as it registered. And then they bolted out of the cottage, jumping two, three stairs at a time just to get to it as fast as they could.
SMOKE!
Spiralling up like a tornado from the entrance of the barn.
And the heat. April could feel the scalding intensity from the flames on her face before she had even made it to the end of the garden path, suffocating as it suffused the air all around them. But she ran, ran to the barn as if her life depended on it this time. Her heart pounding like a piston in perpetual motion. The horses. Darby and Joan. She had to get them out. And Winnie’s diaries! Where were they? She couldn’t remember if she had brought them into the cottage. They could still be in the apple crate on the dresser. The dresser that was now ablaze. How could she be so stupid? And Edie! Where was her aunt? April panicked, stopped and went to go back to the cottage. She had to be sure that the old lady was safe and hadn’t wandered off – there had been a couple of times now when April had found her in the lane or in the meadow on the other side of the garden … Oh, God, what if she was near the fire? And Bella? Where was she? Oh Jesus Christ, what if she was in the barn with horses? The horses? She couldn’t leave them to burn to death. She turned back to the barn and froze with indecision, terrified in case she got it wrong but she had to get Bella out of there immediately. Darby and Joan too. Nancy saw, and screamed in April’s face so as to be heard over the din of the flames.
‘Edie is OK. She was sleeping. I locked the bedroom door so she’d stay put.’
‘Whaaaat? But you can’t lock her in. It’s not right.’ April’s instinct was to let her aunt out right away.
‘I know. But thankfully I did on this occasion – you needed a moment to yourself. She’ll be fine.’
April knew this wasn’t the time to argue about it, so carried on running alongside Nancy. Thank God she was here. A firefighter. And April could see lights, blue lights flashing in the distance at the top of the lane. And then the noise. Sirens screaming, filling her head, competing with the crackling and wheezing of the flames as they tore through the wooden dresser.
