“How long’s he been like that?” Vince spoke with his arms crossed over his chest, mulling over the events of the evening in his quiet way.
“The dementia? It’s been bad for a while, real bad in the past year. Not sure how much time he’s got left. The failed memory part is rough, but the mood swings are worse.”
Vince stood, motioning for Killian to join him. Fallyn could tell that Killian had not expected to be wrapped in a hug, but she knew he needed one. Vince held Killian a few beats, patting him hard on the back in that unshakeable way two men who’d been through a war could. “I’m sorry. I’m real sorry, Kill.”
Killian froze, but returned the hug after a few beats. “Thanks. That means a lot.”
The siblings watched the holy hush fall over the baseball diamond, bringing a small push towards the peace they’d all been needing. When Vince broke the hug, he sat back down on the bench next to Fallyn, who was staring resolutely at her knees, the brim of her hat obscuring her face.
Fallyn inhaled sharply when Vince’s arm went around her and drew her closer until she was engulfed in the hug that broke her and bumped her hat to the dirt. Tears flowed down her upturned nose and onto Vince’s shirt. He even lifted the hem of his shirt to mop of some of her indiscretions when she soaked through the material over his heart. “I know, Fally. I know.” He held her face to his chest, cupping around her temple to shield her eyes from view and preserve the pride he knew was bruised at being so openly emotional. He held her tight to him, keeping her together while she fell apart.
“My own Daddy doesn’t even know who I am! He sent me away to college because things were too violent here with the turf wars. I didn’t want to leave him! Then I come back and he’s already half gone? If he hadn’t sent me away, I would’ve been here and he wouldn’t have forgotten me so easily!”
Vince rocked her, his hold on her firm but gentle. “Let it out. I’m here.” He ignored the men who eyed him with curiosity and wariness. He was holding their collective treasure; he knew he had to tread lightly.
“The bakery? I opened it hoping he could see that I could do something on my own without everyone doing it for me. So he could see the school he sent me to did a good job. I wanted to make him p-proud of me, b-but he doesn’t even know who I am!” She wailed into his shirt, letting the material and the firmness of Vince’s chest muffle the sound. “It’s because of you guys!” she spat, pulling back to glare at her brothers. “Daddy sent me away because you lot couldn’t handle being in the same space as the D’Amatos! I lost years I could’ve had with Daddy because of your stupid territory wars! I’ve got news for you – when you fight, people get hurt. You all hurt me! I’ll never get that time back. End it now! I don’t want any more guns. I don’t want any more fighting. If Vince needs something to make his streets better, you give it to him.” Then she surprised Vince by fisting the material of his shirt and yanking him closer. “And you,” she seethed, her mouth mere inches from his. “Stop fighting with my brothers. You’re not hurting them, you’re hurting me! Is that what you want?”
Vince shook his head, meeting her eyes with sadness and resolve. When he pulled her back into his arms, she broke all over again.
When Killian’s hand moved on her back, Fallyn stiffened. Vince had taken a big risk, and she would not let him get bitten because of it. She kissed Vince’s chest, knowing her face was covered still, and pulled back, wiping her tears away on her own. “Thanks,” she said to him. “Man, did you step in the mess today. Kill promised you a baseball game, and you get two O’Keefes losing their minds. I brought muffins, guys. Eat up.”
The men devoured the muffins, not because they were hungry, but because they wanted the distraction from the night that had taken such an unfortunate turn.
29
Mending the Mess
Vince was allowed into their territory that night. The eight all went to one of Killian’s restaurants where they ate like the ravenous beasts they were. Fallyn was sandwiched between Killian and Vince, who had dropped their boss façades and started actually being the friends they used to be before they were forced into being enemies.
“Pass me the potatoes,” Vince asked Carrigan, who obliged, actually making eye contact that was not threatening as he did so. Vince spooned out a healthy portion, and then put a scoop on Fallyn’s plate, which she hadn’t touched. “You should eat something,” he urged her.
Fallyn had been pushing the salad around on her plate since they’d sat down. She wanted to run away from the awful of the day, but knew there would just be more that found her tomorrow. She glanced around at the cream and green walls with pictures of her family on them framed in gold. They were all black and white, shot by Finn who’d had an eye for that sort of thing. To anyone else, they were just wall art to make the meat and potatoes restaurant feel more homey, but these were captions of her childhood. The photo of her as a little girl swinging between her mother and father tugged at her heart. The five-year-old girl in pigtails was frozen in time mid-giggle. That was before the world crashed down around her, taking both her parents away long before she stopped needing them.
One by one, her brothers left to go home, each following Killian’s example and hugging Vince with a hard slap on the back before they left. Seamus did his in more of a challenge. There was a threat to his hug that held the warning of “I’m watching you”, but Vince took it in stride, sitting back down with Fallyn, Carrigan and Killian.
Vince took a few more bites of the lamb that was so tender, he knew it had most likely been braised all day. “I’m working on my brothers,” he said as he chewed. “But it’ll be a longer road until they’re ready to put their guns down. I can’t picture Tony crossing over into your territory, but maybe someday.” Vince watched as Killian pulled his sister into his side, eating with one hand so he could comfort her with the other, his arm around her patting her hair as she leaned into him. He had always known the O’Keefe family was close, but it was clear she was their collective prize. Though Vince had made great strides today, he knew there would be unfathomable resistance if they caught onto the thoughts he was entertaining concerning Fallyn.
“Tony’s got a temper. I see him wanting to question you sometimes when you make a move for peace when he wants to fight,” Killian observed. “Not telling you how to run your family, but I’d keep an eye out if I were you.” He took a swig of his beer. “I have the same problem with Seamus. Manual labor helps. Gets out his aggression so there’s less of it to throw at me.”
“Thanks for the heads up. Tony’s falling in line alright for now.” A small smile played on his sculpted lips. “So, Little Keefer, got a big second date planned with James for tomorrow?”
Fallyn felt Killian stiffen before he pulled his arm from around her. “No,” Killian answered for her. “You’re done seeing him.”
“You want I should bash in your windshield? Because I’m already on edge. Don’t boss me, Killian. My love life’s got nothing to do with you.”
“End it, or I will.”
“I’ll help,” Carrigan offered with a threatening scowl.
“You so much as lay a finger on any of the air surrounding James, and you can say goodbye to your phone, your laptop, all of it. I set up all of your passwords, and can delete every single file in a heartbeat. In fact, you might just find a Facebook profile with your name on it and all your pictures thrown up for the world to see. I forget, did Beth know about Melissa or Stacy or Natalie? One way to find out, right?”
“James isn’t right for you, and you know it. You’re just being stubborn because I told you no.”
Fallyn leaned her elbow on the table and propped her head on her palm with a sigh, her fight deflating. “Shut up. It’s my decision. Let it play out how it will. We’ll see what happens. You know, like a normal relationship. I’m not asking, Kill.”
“I can’t believe you’d keep something like that from us. You really went on a date with him? How? When?”
She scoffed. “
You really don’t know why I kept that from you? Were you there tonight?” She stabbed her potatoes with her fork, but only pushed them around on her plate. “You don’t have to worry about James. He’s long gone by now. Not every guy wants a girl who threatens to bash in people’s windshields with a baseball bat.” She cast her brother a smile filled with mirth. “Don’t worry, big brother. I’ll die alone, just how you all want it. Right on schedule.”
Killian’s face soured. “That’s not what we want, but James just isn’t right for you. He was forty-five minutes late. Strike one, and that’s the only one he gets. Plus, he has no idea who you are.”
Fallyn stood, disgusted at the turn her budding relationship had taken. “Thanks to you all, no one ever will. Be careful, Kill. Push me too hard, and you’ll wake up to find me gone.” When he looked like he might have something to say to this, Fallyn tugged on her baseball hat and took her plate to the gray basin at the end of the table. “I’ve got an early morning tomorrow, filled to the brim with all my spinster activities. Have a good night, guys.”
“Spinster activities?” Vince inquired. “I can’t picture you knitting.”
Fallyn flipped her hair over her shoulder. “For the record, I knit like a dream, but I don’t spend my Sundays doing that. It’s the one day a week the bakery’s closed.”
Carrigan drank his beer down to the dregs. “She volunteers at the hospital and then takes muffins and stuff to N.A. meetings.”
Vince’s eyebrows furrowed together. “N.A.? But you’re not…” He motioned to her, confused at what she would be doing at a meeting for recovering addicts.
Killian scoffed. “Of course she’s not a recovering crackhead. She takes the day-old muffins and stuff down to the meetings to them.”
Fallyn felt put on the spot. “It’s only my third time doing it, but I like it.”
Carrigan looked at his empty bottle as if he wished for more beer to magically appear in it. “Did you want me to go with you to the hospital tomorrow?”
“No,” she replied without tact. “After the way you behaved today with James? I could use a break from all of you.”
Carrigan exhaled with relief. “Thank God. Going there is so stressful.”
Vince ran his thumb along the lip of his beer. “Not a fan of hospitals, Carri?”
Carrigan shook his head. “It’s not that. It’s what she does there. I usually can only make it through one hour, and then my nerves are shot for the day. I don’t think I could handle that tomorrow. I have big plans to actually rest on my day of rest.”
Killian filled in the blanks for Vince. “She goes there to hold the crack babies.”
“What?” Vince tilted his head at Fallyn. “Don’t they scream nonstop?”
“Yes, they do,” Carrigan responded for his sister. “They scream and shake no matter what you do. It’s awful.”
Fallyn shrugged. “It’s not so bad. They need to be held, but no one wants to do it. Those poor nurses have their hands full, so they appreciate being able to hand off the screamers to me for the morning.” When Vince looked at her as if she was a strange new breed, she felt the need to explain her choice. “Look, when Papa D started up the drug trade, it didn’t just affect the people who wanted to throw their lives away. We’re not allowed in your territory to help and make sure that poison doesn’t spread to ours, so this is one of the only ways I can actually help. The muffins take a tiny financial burden off the N.A. programs so they don’t have to worry about feeding their members. And the babies? Well, they’re going to have a hard life. Most of them are orphaned right after the mom gives birth to them. What’s that going to do for the city? Besides, if a bunch of babies throwing fits bothered me, I would’ve thrown in the towel on this lot a long time ago.” She pointed to her brothers, who stiffened. “There’s really just not that many ways for us to help you, Vince. This was all I could think of.” She lowered her voice. “I’ve been doing this at the hospital for months now. So if Tony or anyone gives you problems about making nice with us, know that we’ve had your back for a long time.”
Vince blinked up at her, floored. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I do,” she continued. “If Tony or anyone under you has a problem with you chasing the drug runners out of town, send them to the hospital to hold the crack babies with me. I’ll be there from nine till noon tomorrow. If they see the damage it’s doing to babies, hopefully those little screams will say more than you ever could. Maybe that’ll get through to them.”
“Not a bad idea,” Killian agreed.
Carrigan groaned. “One day I want you to tell me you’ve decided to volunteer at an amusement park or something awesome. Not something that makes me want to put my head through a window.”
Fallyn kissed her brothers goodnight and ruffled Vince’s perfect hair, casting him a shadow of a small smile before she left.
30
Baby Antonia
Fallyn was half hoping that Vince wouldn’t take her up on her offer to show Tony the ward, but when she showed up in pink hospital scrubs with her hair pulled up into a braided bun, there he was. Tony had his hands shoved in his pockets, wreaked of cigarettes and looked like he’d rather be anywhere else. Vince, Angelo and Joey stood by the nurse’s station uncomfortably, waiting for Fallyn.
Fallyn shook Tony’s hand and greeted the rest of the D’Amato clan cordially, leading the way into the NICU. “First wash your hands all the way up to your elbows. They all have compromised immune systems, so don’t cough on them.” She motioned to the nursery, where there were a few rocking chairs set up by a large picture window overlooking a peaceful wooded area. “Then pick a chair and the nurses will bring you a baby to hold. Have you ever held a baby before?” she asked them.
There were varying looks of uncertainty. “I don’t want to do this, guys,” Tony said with a frown. It wasn’t stubbornness; it was the crushing byproduct of their father’s dastardly deeds he was wary of being confronted with. “I’m not a baby person.”
“Are you a person who cleans up your messes, or are you a man who just goes around breaking things like a toddler?” she challenged, pointing to the rockers. “Pick a chair and take your medicine like a man.”
Tony postured, looking down on her with venom. “Look, Little Keefer. Don’t think that because Vince and Angelo decided to play nice that I’m your bitch. Best not to talk to the big man with the gun like he’s a child.”
“Any man who uses only his gun to get things done is a child. And don’t try that intimidation nonsense on me. I remember way back when you were obsessed with frogs and mud pies. Couldn’t get you out of the pond up at our cabin. You weren’t scary to me then when you tried to hide frogs in my sleeping bag, and you’re not now. Pick a rocker.”
Tony grumbled at being bossed around by the smallest of all the O’Keefes, but when Vince set the example of sitting in one of the gliding chairs, he followed suit with a scowl. Fallyn and the nurses brought the men each a screaming baby, while the head nurse talked them through how to properly hold the infants.
Fallyn tried not to laugh at the horror on each man’s face. Even the usually stony-faced Angelo looked like he’d rather be holding an elephant. He tried to hand the baby off to Fallyn. “I’m not doing it right. It knows I have no idea what I’m doing!”
Fallyn took a chance and placed her hand on Angelo’s shoulder. “That’s how this is supposed to feel. They’re going through withdrawal, so they’ll scream no matter what. Pain is the first thing they know, so the very least you all can do is hold them while they go through it. Solidarity.” She squeezed Angelo’s shoulder and pressed down. “Relax. You’re doing just fine. They can sense your tension, so pretend you don’t feel it. Pretend this is natural. It’s all they know, so if you freak out, they’ll freak out more.”
“I don’t think that’s possible.” Tony tried to hand the baby to the nurse. “I can’t do this!”
Fallyn waved the nurse away, and then lowered her face to stare directly
into Tony’s panicked expression as he rocked the screaming babe nervously in the glider. Tony had black hair and thick eyebrows like Vince, but his features were more rigid and angular, making him look menacing even when he wasn’t trying to. “You can do this, and you will. This is what you have to look forward to if Vince doesn’t clean up your streets. Homes full of this. Is that what you want?”
Tony tried to hand off the baby to Fallyn. “It’s just screaming! Babies aren’t supposed to be like this. It’s clearly afraid of me.”
Fallyn’s hand went to Tony’s back, where she rubbed a little gentleness back into him. With her other hand, she pressed the baby to his chest. “She’s not an ‘it’.” She looked at the tiny tag on the thin baby’s leg. “This is Baby Girl Smith. I think we should give her a name. What do you like?”
Tony shrugged. “I don’t know. Why doesn’t she have a name yet?”
“Because her mom gave her up before she could name her. Happens all the time in this kind of situation. The mom wants to go back to her bad habits and leaves the baby for society to take care of. The problem is that soon there are going to be more people like Baby Girl Smith’s mom out there than there are people to take care of their children. And then what happens?” Fallyn took Tony’s thumb and stroked it across the baby’s cheek as she wailed and shook in his arms. “Isn’t Baby Girl Smith part of your neighborhood too? Doesn’t she deserve your protection?” Fallyn met Tony’s eyes with compassion and saw the fear there. “Don’t D’Amatos take care of their own?”
Tony took a steadying breath and nodded once, letting the rocker move gently back and forth. “I’m no good at names.”
“How about Antonia?” Fallyn suggested, knowing choosing their mother’s name would really drive the point home.
Exploding: A Mafia Romance (The O'Keefe Family Collection #1) Page 16
