I know he believes that, but I don’t. He was a building supervisor before I turned him into a traitor. “I meant what I said. I love you. I’m sorry. I need you to know that.” I’ve practically forgotten about them at this point. What does any of it matter if I’m fighting without Kaleb?
His fingers lock with mine, and the sting of metal slices into my own wrists.
“You were the only good thing in my life since I got back,” he says quietly.
I shake my head. “Not ‘were.’”
I almost choke at his resigned sigh, heart hammering against my chest. No, you’re not giving up!
“You were right, Andie. About everything. It destroyed me to hear you say it, but you were right. I was living a lie. This is my reality.”
He holds up his hands, and I can’t breathe anymore. I want to throw them back down. Erase this awful image from my memory.
Please be acting. Stop!
The pleas are screaming in my head, and I push them to my face. His sincerity, dammit! I need a liar right now.
“Kaleb, there’s something I have to tell you.” I don’t have a choice. My plan is stupid now, but I need the words if only to prove one of us will still fight.
“I told them about the seal.”
“I know.”
I stare at him, blood running cold. “You know?”
“They came to me yesterday. They gave me two options. Tell them everything and see you or…” His voice trails off as he meets my eyes again, and now I know there’s no acting. No character. No other truth. “This meeting is my reward for cooperating.”
“What did you tell them?”
“That the seal was on a folder the rebels carried into my interrogation room and was definitely one of ours.”
I don’t know what to do now. I know he made that up. There’s no way a random lie I threw out in order to see him could be true. What did I do?
“Did they believe you?”
“Now that they know I lied about that, they want the rest of what I’m hiding.” He doesn’t seem angry, just exhausted. It’s so much worse.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, giving him as much as I can in those two words.
He clenches his jaw. “You did what you thought you had to. I know you just want to help. I didn’t tell them about the seal because I hadn’t remembered it until you brought it up.”
Translation: You screwed me again, but I forgive you.
My brain doesn’t know what to do with that, my body trembling from its latest betrayal. How do I convince them I’m the real traitor in all of this?
There are so many things that need to be said, but even if we aren’t being watched, they’re locked away by the lack of time, how none of it matters anymore.
“I don’t want to see you again, Andie.”
I freeze.
“I mean it. I’ve told them everything I know. There’s no reason for you to keep coming here. Just live your life and forget about me.”
“What? Kaleb…”
“I’m serious. I agreed to this meeting because I wanted you to hear it from me. Our relationship was a mistake and shouldn’t have started. This is my life now, and there’s no point in pretending anything different. You wanted to see our future? Here it is.”
He’s lying. I know he is. Has to be. But… He rises from the couch.
I jump up and intercept him on his way to the door. “What are you talking about?”
His eyes narrow. “I thought that was pretty self-explanatory.”
“Kaleb, I don’t know what’s going on, but I love…”
“Stop it,” he snaps. “You don’t love me. You don’t even know me. You have no idea what this is. Go back to 9B and be happy.”
He reaches past me for the door, but I shove him away.
“No!”
We’ve left the game, and his stance turns hostile. “This isn’t confusing, Andie. I don’t want you in my life.”
I’m pretty sure my jaw is on the floor. I don’t recognize this man standing before me, looking at me like I’m a smashed insect on the sidewalk. The magnitude of my betrayal has finally settled in. Does he truly hate me for what I’ve done to him?
“You don’t mean that.”
“Stop getting involved in something you don’t understand. It’s over. It’s done, okay? You need to accept that and move on.”
Move on? But there. The shifting gaze, evidence that his words are gutting him too. I soar and crash at the same time.
He shakes his head and pushes past me. “Good luck with everything. Move on, Andie,” he repeats before banging on the door and calling for the guards.
I’m lost as Kaleb’s silhouette disappears down the hall in the grip of his captors. His limp is more pronounced than I remember. Then again, so is everything else about him.
Henry follows my gaze. “You look upset. Is everything all right?”
It’s a stupid question.
I don’t know the next move, but what’s the point if Kaleb refuses to play? There’s no plot or rescue plan, no hope for a fight he doesn’t want. It would have been hard with him on our side. Without him— Who rescues prisoners who don’t want to be freed?
“The meeting didn’t go well,” I respond. Fact.
Maybe Kaleb will have a change of heart. Maybe I’ve completely misinterpreted what just happened. Maybe I know nothing.
“No? I’m sorry to hear that.”
I stare at the cheap tile, the only thing that makes sense at the moment. Vinyl probably. Several sections need to be replaced. “He said he told you everything about the seal, and I believe him. I thought for sure there would be more there that could help.”
Henry sighs. “Emery said what you gave us was helpful, my dear. No need to put so much pressure on yourself.”
“I’m trying to be patient, but I know he doesn’t belong in prison. I don’t understand why you think he’s dangerous. He’s told you everything he’s ever told me. He was scared when he got back. Traumatized. It’s only been a few months. How can you be so surprised he’s just opening up now?”
He’s listening to me. I can see it in his eyes, the way he leans in to receive my speech. Burlington Henry, the face of our enemy, doesn’t look evil. He looks thoughtful.
After a long pause, he takes a deep breath and presses back into his chair.
“You should know that I have a soft spot for that kid.”
His confession hangs between us. Game-changing for one of us, and I don’t dare to speak.
“I’ll never forget the day they brought him back,” he continues. “After he was taken we thought for sure he was dead. We sent teams out, but they all returned with nothing. We’ve had guys disappear before, but rarely without a demand. Usually, the rebels knock down our door trying to make a trade after snatching one of ours, but with Kaleb, nothing. Not even a confirmation that they had him. We actually wondered if he deserted. That’s probably where his trouble started. Those first labels never go away even when they’re proven false.
“We finally caught a break a month later. An anonymous source tipped us off that one of our men was being held at a rebel safe house in the mountains thirty-five miles outside of Harmonie. It never occurred to us it could be Novelli. Even if they had taken him, there was no way he was still alive after all this time without a word.”
He looks at me then, his hard face contorted with the free release of emotion. It’s frightening in its implications.
“When our extraction team reported back that he was alive, the immediate buzz around HQ was that he must have turned. What else could explain the fact that he was still breathing? The extraction team said he was in rough shape but it didn’t matter to us at HQ. Any dedicated spy would be willing to take a few blows for his mission.” He quiets. I can already see the horror, everything I’ve always feared, ref
lected in his features.
“I suspected him too. Until I saw him.”
His eyes close. “I’ve never seen anything like it, but there was not a place on that kid’s body that wasn’t ripped up. Even the medical team couldn’t explain how he was breathing.”
“And yet you grilled him? Accused him of being a traitor?” It’s a scream in my head but comes out as a tremor.
A troubled look settles over him. “It doesn’t sound fair now, but at the time, things just unfolded the way they did.
“War is a funny thing. A man becomes an abstract idea, tokens that you move around on strategy boards and reference in briefings. Kaleb was sentenced before he got back, and when we saw the evidence of what had been done to him, we knew there was a story worth uncovering.”
“But he wouldn’t share it. At least not the version you wanted,” I say.
“Not openly. He became a puzzle, not a victim. His wounds were studied so we could try to make sense of them. Then, when the evidence started pointing toward our own techniques, well, he made things worse by not waving the white flag and telling us everything up front.”
“And you can’t see how difficult that would have been for him?”
“I can. Of course it was a lot to handle, but we’re soldiers. We’re trained to make hard choices when the time comes. Just the fact that he disobeyed direct orders is enough for a court-martial. He’s lucky he didn’t end up in a cell long before now.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing as any understanding I felt disintegrates into disgust. “Are you kidding me?” His brow furrows at my jump onto dangerous ground, but I’ve stopped caring about consequences. I’m not going back to my room without punching a hole in this mess of lies.
“Your man was kidnapped and ripped apart because of you. Because of his commitment to this cause. And he gets prison for it? So what if he didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear. You criticize him for not making the hard choices, but what about the hard choices he had to make while being wrapped in razor mesh or terrorized with the ionizer? What about losing his leg, his face, his fingers? He should be on a beach in Region 1 sipping cocktails as a thank you for what he suffered on your behalf, and you’ve thrown him in prison?”
“Andie, listen for a minute—”
“No, I’m not listening to any more of this. You brought me here because it’s possible that I know the new Kaleb better than you do. Well, let me tell you what I know. I know Kaleb Novelli is no traitor. He’s a hero who cares about the refugees in 9B, a man who serves when he should be served. So I’m sorry if his timeline didn’t work for you and your strategy boards. He made the hard choices over and over again, and when the time came for all of you to make them you chose wrong.”
I take a breath and shut my eyes, waiting for the call for the guards, the restraints on my wrists. Instead, I feel a tug on my arm pulling me back to the chair.
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
I look at him, unable to ignore the return of that disturbing compassion to his face.
“I agree. I’m here to tell you that I’ve recommended he be released. In fact, I’ve insisted on it.”
I shake my head, speechless.
He squeezes before letting go. “If that happens, he would be under strict surveillance, but I don’t believe that Lance Corporal Novelli is the one we’re looking for. He’s just a tough kid who got extremely unlucky and ended up in one hell of a mess. I don’t know how we’ll work through it, but we’ll find a way. I’ve already submitted my petition to Captain Emery.”
By his expression he’s expecting a response. He’ll be disappointed because announcements like that don’t come with reactions. They’re supposed to be stale memos, delivered in context. A pause, a reread, processing with informed comrades. They’re not meant for vacuums, to end heated arguments that scream stalemate. So I stare. And finally, nod too. There might have been a “good” muttered as well, but I’m not sure who says it.
“It’s not them,” I whisper to Vi as soon as we’re alone in our room that night.
She gives me the look I expected, and I try to clear my head.
“What’s not them?”
“There’s something wrong. Something besides the obvious. I don’t think Staff Sergeant Henry is the enemy we thought. I think he’s sincerely trying to sort through this crisis with Kaleb. He said he’s recommended he be released.”
“That’s great news! Wait, what’s wrong? That’s good, right?”
I have no idea anymore. I’ve run out of facts.
“I don’t know. I was happy at first, but now… What if it’s worse?”
“What’s worse than being held as a traitor?”
It’s an excellent question.
“Nothing. That’s not what I mean. It just can’t be this easy. The pieces aren’t fitting together. Kaleb was off today when I saw him.” I look at Vi, the emotion I’d been fighting collecting in my throat. “He said he doesn’t want to see me anymore. He has no feelings for me and wants nothing to do with me.”
Her expression hardens. “No, that doesn’t make sense. I’ve seen you together. There’s no way that’s true.”
I force in a breath. “Of course I don’t want that to be true, but if it isn’t, why would he push me away?”
Because there is a reason. Because I’ve been denying the obvious.
“He knows something,” Vi says for me. “He knows something and he doesn’t want you involved. He’s protecting you. You’re right, there’s more going on.”
I bite my lip, reviewing each painful second of the encounter.
“Whatever it is, I don’t think Henry is aware of it.”
“You actually think Henry’s legit?”
“Maybe.”
“Have you run all of this by Dennel?”
“No. He wasn’t part of this meeting. You think I should?”
She sighs, looking the way I feel. “I don’t know. On the one hand, if you’re right, we’ll definitely need help. If Kaleb is pushing you away to protect you, he’ll fight our attempts to save him. On the other hand, the less people who know our theory, the better.”
Two opposing facts. Only one will help us now.
“I have to report for work with Dennel tomorrow. He knows I went to see Kaleb today so I’ll need to decide by then.” I close my eyes. “I love him so much, Vi. What am I going to do?”
She tightens her arm around my shoulders. “You can’t focus on questions you don’t have to answer yet. Let’s sleep on this and decide our next step in the morning.”
“What were your tours like? What were you assigned to do?”
Kaleb’s mouth lifts from his coffee cup to reveal a smile. “You have a knack for asking intrusive questions.”
“What? It’s not a secret.”
“Actually, a lot of it is.”
“Seriously? Were you a spy or something?”
He smirks. “There are plenty of missions that are classified without being covert.”
“Like?”
“Like eliminating nosy administrative assistants.”
I roll my eyes. “You wouldn’t last an hour without me now that you’re used to having me around.”
“An hour? I could swing that.”
“Fine, a day then.”
He shrugs, but his smile betrays him.
“Okay! What can you tell me? There has to be something.”
His eyes scan me in a way that excites and unnerves me at the same time.
“I was stationed in 1 for a while.”
The folder literally drops from my hands. I’ve been waiting my entire life to cross paths with firsthand knowledge of Region 1.
“Really?”
“Really.”
“What did you do there?”
“Security mostly.”
“What’s 1 like?”
“Busy.”
“Busy?”
He nods. “Lots of vehicles, people, activity. Constant movement, you know?”
No, I don’t. I’ve never left 12 and no one moves in 12.
“What else? Is there…” I stop and blush. “Never mind.”
My retreat only earns more interest.
“Is there what? I can see it on your face. You’re dying to ask whatever it is.”
“Ugh, fine! Vi says 1 is made of jewels and chocolate.”
He bites his lip. Because, come on… “Okaaay. And you believe her?”
“No! Of course not, I mean… not the chocolate part anyway.”
Now, he does laugh, head shaking slowly. “Well, I didn’t see all of 1 while I was there, but everything I encountered that was edible would have been edible in 12.”
“So no chocolate buildings,” I conclude with a grin that he returns.
“Not one.”
“And the jewels?”
“Probably, but only in earrings and necklaces and stuff. No sparkly road signs or lampposts. You look disappointed.”
“Wouldn’t that be cool though?”
“Impractical, if you ask me.”
I’m still imagining jeweled streetlights when he says, “7. I’m from 7.”
I forget all about 1. “Really? What’s 7 like?”
“A lot like 12.”
“You know 12?”
He quiets again. “I was stationed in 12 when… you know.”
When his life fell apart. When he was transformed from a soldier to a building supervisor.
“The Free Forces control most of 12 now,” I say because we need words and that is a fact.
He leans back in amusement. “Thanks for the tip. I’ll let my superiors know.”
I scrunch my nose. “Whatever. I’m only pointing out that the Free Forces—“
“Rebels.”
“Huh?”
“In here, the Free Forces are referred to as Rebels. Words matter, Andie.”
Traitor Page 15
